Days would pass before eventually Ashley worked up enough courage to ask for an answer to a question she had been dying to know. She sat across from Spencer at the kitchen table, both eating breakfast before work. Spencer was lost inside of an article in another magazine about photography or documentary, whichever, Ashley began to lose count how many the blonde was actually subscribed too. It took a minute to swallow the rest of the food she could bare when she folded her hands on her lap and stared patiently at the girl sitting across from her.
Spencer looked up, "Yes, darling?"
A deep breath was taken, "What happened with you and Jade? Back in Ohio and the night at the bar the other week," She trailed off, already dreading the answers to come from the blonde.
Spencer looked taken back by her girlfriend's question, "Ashley," Her name was said softly.
Brown eyes looked across the table, "Please Spencer,"
"You're asking me to… basically hurt you," She scoffed and shook her head at this point, "No, I refuse to answer that." Her blue eyes cast back down into the article she was reading moments ago.
"I deserve to know," Spencer knew that Ashley was right.
She closed her eyes before looking back at Ashley; "We were together, Ash." Spencer started off, "In Ohio, she was the girl I couldn't go a day without." She paused for a moment, "That night in the bar, nothing happened. Nothing has ever happened between us, Ashley, you know I couldn't do that to you," She spoke quickly but smoothly- as if she had been practicing that speech for a while now.
Ashley eventually found blue eyes again, "What about at the studio?" She was completely vulnerable now sitting in front of Spencer who held onto her heart in the palm of her hand, having the opportunity to break it each day.
Now it was blue eyes avoiding brown, looking for anything to focus on instead of hurt filled eyes, "Nothing has ever happened, sweetheart, I would have told you," Spencer stood from her chair and made her way across the small distance between the two girls and locked her lips with the brunettes. "I love you," She whispered quietly before capturing another passionate kiss. "But before I'm late, I've got to run so I'll see you tonight for dinner,"
Ashley watched Spencer move across the rooms, grabbing her bags and phone and other stuff she always carried with her to and from work. She sat patiently at the table, waiting for the final kiss farewell before she'd see her girlfriend again. Ashley sighed deeply thinking about how uncomfortable she felt with Jade working alongside of Spencer for countless hours.
Before Spencer actually left, she bent down to kiss Ashley once more, "You promise nothing has happened?" Ashley pleaded with her brown eyes for the answer she wanted to hear and hoped to God that it'd be true.
"Promise," Spencer spoke softly against Ashley's lips before exiting their apartment.
Minutes passed before Ashley actually moved from her stance at the table. She cleaned up the dishes and grabbed her running shoes. Tying them carefully, she opened the front door and jogged down the stairs today instead of waiting for the elevator which usually stunk like trash anyways on Tuesday mornings.
Once outside where the sun was up high early, shining brightly down onto everyone who dared to go out. Ashley wasted no time with walking; her head phones plugged in and turned up to a level where it blocked out all outside noises. It was how Ashley liked running- undisturbed. She ran past hundreds of business people, alongside of other joggers, past groups of children. The smells of bakeries cooking fresh bread filled the air. Usually whenever Ashley would hit this block, she'd be too tired and turn around but today was different it seemed as if her legs had no limit today and continued to carry her for another mile and a half before she finally stopped, bending over forward heaving for air. Her lungs burned as she walked in little circles, eventually sitting down on the grass off to the side of the park.
Birds were chirping above her in the trees she noticed once her breathing was under control. Ashley adjusted her sunglasses on her nose before standing up to search for a water fountain. As she walked the perimeter of the park, she noticed Olivia's car parked outside at a gas station. She smiled as her friend waved her over, so across the street Ashley jogged.
"What are you doing over on this side of town?" Olivia chuckled, pulling Ashley into an awkward side hug.
"Just went for a jog," She pointed at her outfit which clearly screamed out that she was jogging.
"Oh!" Olivia became quiet, "I saw Spencer earlier,"
Ashley's heart began racing, "Yeah?" She tried desperately to seem okay with the whole situation.
"She was with that Jade girl," Olivia looked up quickly to catch Ashley's reaction but saw nothing. "Who is she anyways?" She asked quietly, testing the water of the subject.
Brown eyes darted everywhere except for the curious eyes staring back at her, "She's the girl who Spencer first fell in love with back in the states before she moved to where I lived, so you could say that I feel a little threatened," She laughed nervously, "I mean, I trust Spencer not to let anything happen, I mean, that's what I'm supposed to feel right?"
Olivia smiled sadly at her friend, "Look," She started as she finished pumping gas, "I'm off today, would you want to come visit my sister with me? She's cute, gay, single,"
Ashley couldn't help but laugh, "No I'm okay, but I will defiantly keep her in mind," She replied to Olivia who shoved her phone in front of Ashley's face, revealing a photo of her sister.
"That's Anna,"
A small whistle escaped Ashley's mouth, "Oh wow, she's hot," She smirked as she looked at this Zooey Deschanel look alike. "But I still have to pass, sadly," She chuckled, "I've got dinner plans with Spencer tonight,"
"You sure she just won't cancel on you?" Olivia eyed her friend carefully before climbing into the car and talking through the open window.
"Olivia, she isn't like that anymore- she hasn't cancelled on me all week."
"Whatever you want to believe, Ash; just don't set your expectations up too high. You have my number," Olivia started up her car as she turned to Ashley, "Call me if your girl doesn't show up, I'll get you drunk." She smiled before waving goodbye and pulling off to head to her sister's house for the night.
Speaking of sisters, Ashley began to realize how home sick she was becoming. Her heart ached in hopes that Spencer follows through with their dinner plans tonight. She often found herself wondering what her family and friends were up to. How the beach house was doing with Kyla and Aiden living together in it. It's been half a year since Ashley has seen anyone other Spencer and the few people she's met here in Paris. She turned to start her jog home.
Meanwhile, at the studio, Spencer worked quietly alone as she slowly worked on eating a grilled chicken salad. She focused hard on the screen in front of her, trying to piece every part of the documentary together perfectly for the local high-school's senior class. It wasn't a big project like South America would have been and at the thought of South America, Spencer stopped everything she was doing and bent her head down as she sighed heavily. She didn't know what she was going to do anymore.
The front door opened, moving bells above it to cause a noise, signaling a customer. Spencer walked out into the front room and greeted the customer nicely. They discussed prices for family photos, places to shoot or standard studio shoot. Spencer gave outfit ideas and her final estimate price for the package the customer wanted. A few minutes after the discussion, the lady was out the door and another walked through.
It was a younger girl, probably a senior in high-school. Her long blonde hair reached the middle of her back; she was dressed in a very indie outfit. Spencer looked at her, watched the way she studied her photos that were posted for sell around the front side of her studio. "Did you actually take these?" The girl stood in front of a picture that was Ashley's silhouette at the end of the Malibu pier, her arms were spread wide open, as if she was hugging the sunset.
"Yeah," Spencer smiled at the memory of that specific day, it was one of the many that made Spencer fall deeper in love with the brunette girl.
"Is this the same girl in all of these photos?" The blonde girl glanced back at Spencer who looked around the front room and saw that she used Ashley in just about every photo.
A smile grew across Spencer's face, "Yeah, she's a very beautiful person to photograph." Her heart raced as she begins to feel newly in love with the girl of her dreams. As if that's all she needed was for someone to force her to see the beauty in the girl she already has.
"Are you looking for an intern possibly?" The girl asked bluntly, knocking Spencer from her thoughts.
"Um, well I'm not really at the moment. What are you looking to do?"
The girl sighed as she continued to look at the photos that were set up, "To work alongside of a professional photography and documenter. I heard your offer about South America," The girl looked at Spencer, "I would love to be a part of your team if you decide to go."
Spencer sighed, "I honestly don't know if I'm going to accept that offer," She studied the girl in front of her; "You're American aren't you?" The blonde turned back around and smiled.
"Yeah, my parents sent me to live with my grandma two years ago. I was really active with invisible children back at my high school in Colorado." This girl walked over to Spencer and introduced herself, "My name is Becca," She stuck out her hand and shook Spencer's, "I'm about to graduate next month and that's when the crew leaves so I'd be able to go."
"Well if I do decide to take this opportunity, I will give you a call first thing."
The two girls said their goodbyes and Spencer immediately turned on the closed sign. She worked for another hour and a half before her cell phone started ringing. She looked at the caller id and sighed when she saw it wasn't, Ashley, "Hey," She spoke quietly, though she was alone in the studio.
"Spence," The voice on the other end breathed, "You've been avoiding me," She too spoke softly.
"I can't," Spencer shook her head, "I feel bad about that night, Jade,"
Jade groaned, "She doesn't even know, Spencer. She believed you when you told her nothing happened, you're all good,"
"No," Spencer fought back, "I don't want to lose her for a thing in the past, Jade. It's a bad thing that she actually believes me when I lied and promised, looking in her eyes!" Tears formed in her blue eyes, threatening to fall out.
"It was one night, Spencer," Jade finally spoke after a brief silence, "If she really loves you, she'll forgive you when the time comes if you decide to tell her," Spencer continued to sit in silence and after a few minutes went by, Jade spoke again, "But I'm not sure she'll forgive you whenever you take the offer to South America," There was bitterness in her voice and Spencer recognized it very well.
Not a second was wasted, "I need to go," And quickly, Spencer hung up the phone and turned it off, packed her things and started to make her way home. It was time for some alone time with Ashley she felt as if that would make things a little better.
Once at home, Spencer walked in to see Ashley laid out on the couch completely asleep. She was wearing a semi-formal outfit that would have been absolutely breathtaking to see alive. She sighed deeply; glancing at her watch- she was late for their dinner date.
By three hours.
Her breath caught and slowly formed a hard knot in the blonde's throat as her back hit the front door. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she slowly slid to the floor. Spencer watched her girlfriend sleep peacefully on the couch while the TV played on low. Silently, she sat on the floor staring at the scene in front of her. She knew that eventually she'd have to wake Ashley up and spend the next half hour apologizing again.
Blonde hair fell in front of her vision as she casted her blue eyes down to the floor when her cries started to become harder. Once the lump in her throat moved, a loud gasp escaped and her cries woke Ashley up. Quickly, Ashley was by Spencer's side and rubbing her back trying to calm the girl down. Saying nothing but soothing things in her ear along with kissing Spencer's head frequently.
Brown eyes glance at the oven clock, reading 9:21, she frowned. Ashley turned her attention back to her girlfriend who was sitting brokenly in her arms. "It's okay, Spence," Those words continued to fall out of Ashley's mouth over and over again.
Spencer didn't say anything the rest of the night, not even when Ashley picked the blonde up off of the floor and made it to their room where Ashley helped both of them change into their pajamas and climb into bed. Ashley continued to hold Spencer until she fell asleep crying on her chest. Even after the blonde was asleep, Ashley laid their awake, staring at the ceiling wondering where in their relationship it went wrong. Her heart ached when she came to the conclusion of Paris.
The single thought began to make her stomach turn inside out. How could she of not seen the signs before it was a permanent decision. The pain in her stomach continued to worsen until she made herself sick to where she was vomiting into the toilet. She sat in the bathroom against the cold tub after she was finished throwing up. She wasn't crying or anything, she just sat there staring at the cold tiled floor just piecing everything together in her head. When the clock struck four, Ashley crawled back into bed and quickly fell asleep, knowing that her alarm clock would be screaming for her to get back up in three hours.
Two weeks later at the studio, Spencer was taking pictures of a newly engaged couple. Jade was working right besides her, holding the light or shade however was needed. Words were exchanged only for business, Jade understood though, knowing Spencer needed to come to her own senses about everything first.
Jade continued on watching Spencer work, how she was so into getting every angle. The couple she was photographing was more of a high class couple so the back drop was white while they dressed in formal clothes, posing with simple props.
The front door swung open then and Jade quickly looked to see who it was.
Ashley.
Jade got suddenly nervous, watching Ashley's brown eyes burn into her body. She stood off to the side where Spencer directed her nervously as she continued to shoot the couple until it was time for a break. The engaged couple went off into a dressing room where they started to change for the next series of photos and as they changed, Spencer made her way over to the brunette who waited patiently across the room from Jade.
"Honey," Spencer spoke softly, placing a lip upon her cheek.
"Spencer," Ashley smiled, glancing briefly over the blondes shoulder to see Jade watching them, "She's watching us," She spoke with hatred.
Spencer sighed, "I'm sorry, Ash, I can't help what she does," She looked down at their feet, waiting for Ashley's reply.
Moments of silence passed before Ashley lifted Spencer's chin up towards her, "Try to come home early tonight, baby, I have something planned," She spoke in a raspy tone as Spencer's clients walked out in new outfits, Ashley pulled the blonde in close to her and kissed her passionately. Without another word or glance around at everyone in the room, Ashley left and made her way back home.
Spencer turned around, her cheeks were bright red and she saw hurt written on Jade's face and adoration written across the engaged couple faces. She ignored the gesture Jade had given her to step outside to talk which only upset the girl more. Spencer continued to take photos of the happy couple and after their shoot was done, Spencer hurried and locked up. Rushing past Jade without a goodbye, she made her way back home.
Finally, she was feeling like herself again, knowing that she was going home to Ashley who could possibly be waiting for her with nothing on. Her mind grew wild, knowing that it could be too good to be true, but it never hurt to hope. And with how her situation was going, that was all she had anymore- hope.