* Everything *

Some of my classmates giggle when I walk into the classroom on Monday morning. I've gotten used to it.

People stared the first few times I walked in with Hanako, and I think that really threw her. She was used to people pretending not to notice her – she liked it that way. But when she and I started coming to class together, high school being what it is, people started talking.

After a week, it doesn't bother me anymore. And I didn't run into Hanako outside the dorms this morning, so I guess she'll get here eventually. She hasn't been absent much over the past week, which is definitely good.

Sure enough, she slips in just before the bells ring, and we share a quick smile before classes start. Someone giggles again, and I don't bother looking to see who. As quick as rumors spread around here, most of the school must know we're dating by now.

The day, of course, drags on, and by the time Mutou's science lecture ends I'm eager to be anywhere else. The bells ring, people start packing up and preparing for lunch, and before I can go over to Hanako's desk, she's standing at mine.

Hisao

"Ready for lunch?"

She lowers her gaze, and I frown. As always, my first thought is that something's gone wrong.

Hanako

"I . . . I have to go see my therapist. Sh-she said this was the only time she could see me this week, and I couldn't see her last week, so. . . ."

I nod. That's a relief.

Hisao

"Oh, okay."

I'm really not sure what to say next. Hanako hasn't told me much about her therapist, but what little I've heard has been good. And if it's been a while since they talked, Hanako definitely should see her.

Hanako

"I'll talk to you tonight. Un-unless you're busy?"

I can't help laughing a little at that. We really are still trying to figure things out. Hopefully talking with her therapist will help Hanako.

Hisao

"Just studying. I won't be too busy to talk."

She smiles back, still seeming shy despite everything.

Hanako

"Okay. Talk to you then."

She hurries out, and I watch her go, then sigh. Off to the tea room, I guess; odds are good Lilly knows about Hanako's appointment. If not, no big deal, it won't be the first time we eat without her.

As I expected, Lilly is there in the tea room when I arrive, and she turns to face me as I walk through the door.

Hisao

"Hey, Lilly. Hanako's seeing her therapist, so she's not with me."

Lilly

"Yes, she told me about that. Would you like some tea?"

Hisao

"Please."

I sit down across from Lilly's chair and pull out my lunch as she prepares the tea. In some ways, it's still amazing to watch her work. After a while, I'd think I'd get used to it, but apparently not.

Lilly's lack of sight, though, means she doesn't hide her expressions as well as most people would. And when she comes back to the table with my tea, I can see something's on her mind. She sets the mug down and sits, then folds her hands before herself.

Lilly

"Hanako and I talked yesterday. She told me everything."

I pause with the teacup halfway to my mouth.

Hisao

". . . everything?"

Lilly

"Everything."

I start drinking the tea, not caring how hot it still is and wishing for something stronger. As reserved as Hanako usually is, I didn't think she'd go into detail, not even with Lilly. Then again, she's only had Lilly to talk to for a long time, who else would she feel that comfortable with?

And now, with Lilly knowing what she does. . . . I set the teacup down.

Hisao

"You didn't poison my tea, did you?"

Lilly laughs and waves a hand in front of her face, and some of the tension fades. This doesn't seem like the kind of thing she thought she'd have to deal with. And now that I think about it, I'm really surprised Lilly doesn't have a boyfriend. I wonder why, but now's not the time to ask.

I don't think Lilly would let me change the subject if I tried.

Lilly

"No, of course not. I might have if you'd been mean to her."

Her smile shows she's joking, but all the same, it makes me a little nervous.

Lilly

"I meant it when I said I was happy for you two. What Hanako told me doesn't change that. All the same, it's unexpected."

Hisao

"I didn't think it would happen either. When we talked, and you said we shouldn't try to protect Hanako, I really had to convince myself you were right."

Lilly nods, sips at her tea before continuing. I do the same. Now that everything's out in the open, it will probably help to talk to her about this.

Lilly

"I'm glad you agreed. I think being away from her helped me realize what we were doing, what I've been doing as long as I've known her. It's easy to want to protect her, isn't it."

It's not a question, but I murmur agreement anyway. I think most anyone who knows Hanako would think the same thing. I wanted to protect her, but she doesn't need it. She needs friends, not guardians.

Hisao

"It's still kind of awkward, though. I know it's not suddenly going to get easy and we'll be this perfect couple, but . . . I don't know."

Lilly

"These kinds of things never go easily. At least, that's what I've heard. Akira's told me more about relationships than I could ever learn on my own."

Ah, that explains it. Akira's probably a good person to go to for advice on all this, but all the same, I'd rather get that advice filtered through Lilly.

And then something horrific occurs to me.

Hisao

"You didn't tell Akira about this, did you? About . . . everything?"

Lilly smiles again and gives a small laugh. Clearly, she can hear how nervous I am at the thought of Akira knowing all this.

Lilly

"No, I didn't. Though she did call me last night, and asked for any interesting details. She's always been fond of Hanako, and she likes you as well. Even if I had told her, all she would do was cheer you on."

That doesn't make the thought of Akira knowing everything any easier, but I'll take what I can get.

Lilly

"She did say to make sure you two always use protection."

I nearly choke on my food. Lilly looks concerned for a moment, but I manage to tell her I'm okay, and down the rest of my tea. Once I can breathe again, I stare at Lilly for a moment.

Yeah, that sounds like exactly what Akira would say. It just sounded strange coming from Lilly.

Hisao

"We did. I . . . had a condom, you know, just in case. And we haven't. Again. Since then."

I can feel my face getting red. I'm suddenly glad to be discussing this with Lilly, because any guy I know would ask why not. Except maybe Kenji, who would be horrified at the entire concept.

Lilly folds her hands before herself again.

Lilly

"That's probably best. This is something new for both of you, isn't it?"

Hisao

"It really is. Everything just sort of . . . happened. We talked about it the next day, and she told me why, and it made sense, but at the same time. . . . I don't know."

Concern grows clear on Lilly's face, and her hands tighten together.

Lilly

"What don't you know, Hisao? She told me about your confession, and hers. I know this can be difficult, but what do you think you don't know?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. There's no real answer to that. These things can get so complicated, especially with both Hanako's past and mine. In a lot of ways, we're still figuring each other out.

Hisao

"I don't know where we're going, or what's going to happen. But nobody really does, do they? It's not like we can see the future."

Lilly

"True. But do you like where you are at the present?"

I don't even have to think about that. It might be the only answer I truly know.

Hisao

"Yes. I love her, and . . . that's enough, isn't it?"

Lilly's smile makes me realize I've hit on the right answer. She also looks more than a little relieved, which I guess makes sense. Neither of us wants to hurt Hanako, and things don't always work out well in high school.

But I think Hanako and I can find a way to make it work.

Lilly

"I think it is. I'm hoping for the best for you two."

Before I can reply, the bells ring, signaling the warning to get back to class. Lilly and I hurry to clean up, and don't get to say much more until we're about ready to leave.

Lilly

"Please, come talk to me if you need to, Hisao. I'll always listen."

Hisao

"Thank you, Lilly."

We head off to our classrooms, and my steps feel lighter. After all the silence between Hanako and I when we were learning about each other, it feels good to talk to someone else about what happened. Especially now that we're together.

When I get to class, Hanako isn't there, but I figure she's probably still with her therapist. That's good. I settle down in my seat, pull out a notebook, and smile.

It really seems like everything is going to be all right.

My phone rings, jolting me out of a more intense than usual bout of studying. I wonder for a moment just how focused I was to be so startled, then pick up the phone and check the number. It's Hanako.

A rush of nervousness sweeps through me, but I brush it aside. There's no reason for that, I remind myself.

Hisao

"Hello, Hanako."

Hanako

"Hello, Hisao. I-I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Hisao

"Just studying. Nothing too important, I don't think I was about to figure out faster-than-light travel or anything."

She giggles quietly, and I grin. Even with as much reading as we've both done, it's still good to know I can make a sci-fi joke and she'll get it.

Hanako

"Can you come over? I don't think it's too late, and I wanted to talk to you about . . . things."

Things. That's just vague enough to make me worry. I shove the worry aside, same as the nerves from a moment ago, and nod even though she can't see me.

Hisao

"Sure, I'll be over. These things are . . . good things, right?"

Hanako

"I think so."

There's a kind of quiet reassurance in her voice. Whatever she talked about with her therapist today, it must have helped. And her inviting me over to talk is new. Usually we chat quietly in the library, or walk around campus. She hasn't invited me to her room since. . . .

Since. . . .

Hanako

"Hisao? Are you there?"

Stunned silence over the phone probably isn't a good thing, so I stammer an answer.

Hisao

"I'm here, I'm here. I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

Hanako

"Okay. Goodbye."

I say goodbye and close my phone, then take a few deep breaths to steady my heart. It's pounding, not hard but enough for me to notice. Surely Hanako's therapist couldn't have recommended she and I sleep together again. Surely Hanako wouldn't have agreed even if . . . or would she?

That whole situation is still a tangle in my mind, so I pull on my shoes and head out the door, shutting it quietly behind me so Kenji doesn't hear me leave. I try to reassure myself that no, Hanako doesn't want me to come to her room for sex.

And even if she does, I don't have protection–

Stop that, I tell myself. It'll just be to talk.