Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter characters.
Chapter Twelve: The first salvo of a prank war
Late the next morning a series of letters appeared to close friends and family. The first was discovered by…..
Hermione picked up the note on her kitchen table, recognizing the writing on the front. With trembling fingers she scanned the note, barely half way thru she bolted for her bedroom to get Ron.
"Ron! Ron, wake up!" she nearly screeched.
Ron sat bolt upright stammering, "Whazzit?"
"Ron he's gone. I told you he was up to something and now he's gone!" Hermione wailed near hysterical with worry.
"H-Harry?" Ron asked, still have asleep.
"O-Of course, Harry." Hermione snapped losing what little patience she had left.
"S-Sorry." he apologized.
Hermione's eyes softened at that, realizing she had been far harsher than she should have, Damned hormones!
"No,... I'm sorry. Listen, you need to hear this. Hermione held the note up and began reading:
Dearest Hermione and Ron:
I've tried to say goodbye to you so many times over the past few months, but each time my overstated Gryffindor courage has failed me. To be truthful, I think it better this way as either or both of your would've tried to stop me from my chosen course and I don't want to be stopped.
I… I don't want to have to say good bye, but I'm not exactly sure when I'll be back, if ever.
Never in my young life, practically living in a cramped cupboard 'under the stairs,' did I ever dare to dream that I would have someone to love and care over as you have also done in return for me.
I thought I had found my place, but now I'm not so sure.
Of doubts I have many, but this feels like the right thing to do. I want to see if I can make a difference and to that I've pledged myself, my fortune and perhaps, my life.
I'll be out of touch for quite some time, but hopefully not too long.
Please don't try to find me,… I don't want to be found.
And please, Hermione, don't worry over me as… I'm not alone.
Take care of each other and remember,… anywhere you go my love goes to.
Now and always, Harry
P.S. I suggest you get over to see the new team president first thing Monday morning, Ron. There have been some changes… he-he-he.
"He's gone, then?" Ron nearly whispered, still stunned by the unexpected turn. In retrospect, he knew Harry was up to something, but this?
"We have to find him." Hermione remarked as if it were the most obvious thing.
"You read what he said, 'Mione, he doesn't want to be found."
"No, he's just confused." Hermione was talking to herself, more than Ron, as she began getting dressed in a rush. "He just needs a good talking to. 'See if he can make a difference?' What more does he possibly think that he can do? 'Doesn't know his place',..what rot. His place is here. He's going to be our baby's Godfather. We're going to be a family…."
Ron grabbed his wife's arm, stopping her as she was about to pull on her overcoat. "He's gone, 'Mione." he reiterated firmly but gently
Hermione's eyes went out of focus for a second in disbelief. "No,..No he can't be. The elves,… or maybe McGonagal will know…?
"He's gone, luv." Ron said more firmly grasping her arms, trying to get through to her.
Hermione shook her head, her eyes tearing up.
Ron nodded."It'll be alright" We always suspecvted this time might come, luv." Ron began to sniffle as well."We didn't want to believe it, let alone accept it, but we knew."
Hermione was crying openly now."I w-want him here!" she nearly begged.
Ron quirked a half smile pulling his wife into a gentle hug."So do I", he whispered into her ear. "But I don't think we can be that selfish. The world needs Harry too."
Hermione began to sob.
Ron rubbed her back and cooed softly to her, trying to ease her fears. "It won't be forever. He'll be back, 'Mione."
Hermione shook her head against his. "No,…he,.. he said …?"
"He'll be back, Luv."Ron said with more conviction this time.
"He'll want to see his niece or nephew and…. He's not done with Ginny, unless I miss my guess?
Hermione pulled out of his grasp and searched her husband's eyes. "But your dad refused him. He won't…?"
Ron half grinned. "Harry will find a way. He always has and he always will. Besides, I think Ginny's not quite ready for him yet, and he knows it too. Ginny will figure it out. Remember what I said about passionate Weasley women?"
Hermione kissed him wantonly at that, reassuringly gratified and well…
Ron pulled back for air. "You do remember." he chuckled.
Jane Granger proceeded to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee just as she did every morning, only this one found a note waiting for her and Richard.
She recognized the hand writing and quickly unfolded the missive, expecting an explanation of what ever prank she and many other thousands had fallen into last night.
Later, she would wish that was all it was.
Dearest Jane and Richard:
Of all the correspondence I've wrote this past week, this is one of the most difficult.
I'm leaving and have left by the time you read this. I don't know when I'll be back, if ever.
I've struck out with a few well chosen associates to see if we can make a difference in the world. I hope we can.
I've wanted to say something about my leaving, more than you can know, but with so many plans underway, secrecy was off the priority.
You'll see what I mean by this quite soon, I'm sure.
The port-keys I've given you will not transport you to me, so please don't explore that option. They will, however, take you to a place of safety if you should have need. One of my associates will then see to your immediate care, if I'm not available, which is likely. Please only use them in an emergency.
Jane was about to call out to one of the elves in desperation, but halted at scanning the next line.
I'm sorry, but the elves are no longer available for your personal use. You can, however, enlist the service of a house elf via Gingotts. Again,… this will become clear soon.
I,… I only have one memory of my mother, and unfortunately it's one I'd rather not have. I've oft imagined what she and my father were really like and every time my thoughts turn to the two of you
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish they were just like you.
With all my love; your surrogate son, Harry
Jane Granger scrubbed furiously at her eyes as she finished the note, sniffling softly.
It was perhaps the cruelest prank he could have ever played.
She was about to call for Richard to deliver the bad news when the tapping of an owl at the window distracted her.
She opened the window and absently place a knut in the owls leg pouch and robotically relieved it of its burden The Daily Prophet.
She opened the paper to scan the headline as she went to retrieve her husband, stopping abruptly with a gasp as she stared wide eyed at the front page.
Molly Weasly was at her wit's end this morning, she would have compared herself to the little dyke boy if she had known the muggle fairy tale.
Arthur had been called into the office, at the crack of dawn, for an emergency of some sort. In retrospect she was quite sure that she knew the cause.
Then there was the note from Harry that appeared on her kitchen table, as disconcerting as that was; it was nothing compared to the front page of the Prophet! She'd just started to read the paper when a shriek of dismay came from Ginny's room shortly after.
Molly found her daughter sobbing, near hysterically, with an already tear dampened note clutched to her chest.
Harry had sent Ginny a 'Good bye' note that had broken her only daughter's heart. Not because it was that sad, but because it was so full of hope.
Ginny….
I'm going to tell you a story, but it's one that one day you're going to have to tell me how it ends….
There once was a little boy who was orphaned and grew up with relatives that didn't love, nor want him.
He used to pray that it was all a misunderstanding and that one day his parent would return and that his loneliness would end. That somehow, somewhere he would find family and friends that would love him as he so wanted to be loved.
Those prayers were answered and he did find friends who loved him and became his family.
He found a new life; one filled with magic, mystery and yes,... danger.
A bad man, (a dark wizard), came back into the picture and he hunted the little boy, trying to kill him before the little boy could grow up and fulfill a prophesy that predicted the little boy could defeat the bad wizard.
The little boy grew up studying magic and leaning to be a wizard and many times he thwarted the bad wizard with a great deal of help from his friends,… his family.
Along the way he discovered the beauty and wonders of the world around him. He also discovered love, (the forever after kind), though he really didn't know what it was at the time.
He wanted,… he wanted to…. Well, he wanted a lot of things, but the bad wizard discovered his secret and took his love away.
The little boy got lucky and was able to rescue her, but was never able to return the love to her that she had once given him, however much he may have wanted to and perhaps still does.
She was made to forget him, but he was never able to completely forget her, however much he may have wanted to do that, as well.
They grew up and grew apart, each finding solace in the arms of someone else, however temporary or bittersweet.
Fate brought them back together again, if only in a dream. If it was a dream, then it was the best one of his young life.
Wishes and dreams are funny things though. They never seem to work out quite like you hope they will or are what you expect when they do.
I hope this one does and I'm working hard in the hopes of making my dream a reality. To do that, I have to make the world a safer place.
It's up to you to tell me when and if i have.
We are going in two different direction currently. You have the beginnings of a brilliant quidditch carreer. Me,... well let's just say Ive got a few plans of my own. I expect you'll soon see what I mean before too long.
I don't expect anything from you and without you're parents blessings the point is mute anyway. I've come to accept their wisdom in I was being selfish in putting my needs and desires ahead of thee world's.
For now,... I'll have to be content with just the one dream, however much I might want or wish for more.
I don't know how you or anyone else feels about those sorts of things. My empathy doesn't seem to want to work that way anymore. It only seems to pick up on dark, negative things that I'd rather not be privy to, but have come to accept as the creator's will.
I won't be around, but, I expect that you'll see me again one day; if only to tell me to grow up and to quit living in a dream world.
Even if I only ever have the one dream, it was the best!
Love, Harry
"W-Whyyy?" Ginny wailed at her mother as she dropped her hand down, having finished reading the letter her hysterical daughter had shoved in her hand the moment she entered the crying girl's room.
"Why now,…and like this? He must have told someone? Hermione? If she knew and didn't tell me I'll hex her to next week! I have to find him, mum. I have to!"
Molly nodded. "We'll talk to your father when he gets home. He should be able to do something." Molly suggested with more conviction than she felt. Another part of her already suspected she knew the basis for the emergency that her husband was called in for. Another part still, knew the world was a very big place and if Harry was able to hide under their very noses for over a year…?
Several long comforting hours and two calming draughts later, Ginny sniffled off to sleep, Harry's letter still clutched protectively to her chest.
A heartsick and worried mother left her daughter's room having only temporarily averted a crisis, only to walk into the fallout of another.
The twins tumbled out of the floo crying and bemoaning their lot. One minute they were threatening undying vengeance on Harry Potter. The next they were regretfully envious of the prank and duplicity he had played at their expense.
Before their mother could even think to ask the cause, a haggard Percy came out of the floo.
Pale faced and shaking, he immediately went into his father's makeshift office and returned with a nearly full tumbler of Ogden's finest. By the look on his face it could have been turpentine and he still would have relished the taste as long as it gave the desired effect.
The twins immediately went silent and watched in complete consternation as there stolid older brother downed the entire tumbler in a single go.
Steam hissed from his ears as he sighed appreciatively.
He gathered himself and made a half hearted attempt to straighten his robe before smirking at the obviously distressed twins and asked bitingly…
"How was the sale?"
Fred narrowed his eyes."How's the sale he asks?"
"How indeed, my brother." George replied in contempt, looking his older brother up and down with a critical eye, taking in his ministry attire and asking in return,
"Trouble at work?"
Percy nodded, contemplating his empty glass he asked, "Like one?"
"There's not enough booze in the house." Fred warned.
"The Leaky Cauldron?" Percy suggested
"Best idea I've heard this week, Perce." George quipped, reaching for the floo pot.
Moments later, a stunned Molly Weasley watched silently as the last of the three spun out of sight up the floo, presumably to go and get drunk!
The twins drinking with Percy? Hell has indeed frozen over!
Molly barely had time to return to the forgotten newspaper and the headline that had caught her eye when next came Bill and Fleur, followed by Ron and Hermione along with the Grangers. Things had mended to a degree between the Granger parents and Weasleys', however they were yet to enjoy the sort of casual intimacy they once had between them, as only close friends do.
A harried Charlie arrived next
Finally, at half five, a world weary Arthur Weasley returned home to find pandemonium. He'd like to think himself surprised, but it was just another salvo in the 'Harry war' he'd been losing all morning. We're he present, Arthur would sue for unconditional surrender and consider himself lucky to do so.
No,… he was sure he'd yet to fully reap what Harry had sown.
He passed a shrieking Fleur, dodged around an arm flailing Charlie, nodded appreciatively toward Harry's stalwart defender-Ron, and finally made the safety of his den. It was a small luxury that he'd come to relish in his otherwise hectic life that he wouldn't trade for all the gold in Gringotts. Molly and his children had surprised him with the gift of the expanded room when he was named interim Minister.
It was the only privacy he'd ever known in the history of his home. Arthur made for his beverage shelf and poured himself a large draught of Ogden's finest, noting the bottle had diminished considerably since last he'd made use of it,… and not caring in the least.
He went back out into the carnival that was his home's living area and blew a shrill whistle to gain everyone's attention.
Startled, the noise in the room died off and all surprised eyes noticed him for the first time.
Arthur raised his glass to the room. "To Harry Potter!" that stated, he downed his drink in a single go.
"Arthur…?" Molly began to ask but quieted as he made a shushing motion with both hands and went to the floo and called "Hogwarts- Headmistress McGonagal's office."
McGonagal's face swam into view.
"Arthur" she acknowledged without a hint of surprise. "Shall I bring Albus along then?"
Arthur nodded vacantly and stepped back from the floo.
Moments later, McGonagal stepped into the room. She pulled a miniature object from her robe's pocket and cancelled the shrinking charm.
Albus Dumbledore's portrait returned to full size. "Pleasant day to you all." The headmaster greeted all present jovially, his painting eyes twinkling in a rather pale semblance of how they had in life.
McGonagal propped Dumbledore's painting against a central wall where he could best view the gathered family.
"I take young Harry has made his move?" Dumbledore asked with no little surprise, his painted eyes twinkling madly.
"What'd he do?" Molly asked once they'd calmed enough to get a word in edgewise.
Arthur sighed heavily, but with a tinge of pride despite all the hardship he'd faced this morning. "I think it safer to ask, 'What didn't he do'?"
McGonagal snorted at that.
"You knew?" Hermione spat accusingly. "You knew he was planning to leave?"
McGonagal smiled demurely, conjured a rather plush leather chair and seated herself comfortably next to Albus' picture.
"Certainly I knew." she acknowledged. "Don't look so surprised."she chastised the gapping room. "You've no one to blame but yourselves, especially you Arthur Weasley. Of you I am the most ashamed. One of my own Gryffindors yet."
Arhtur paled slightly, but nodded his agreement. "I wanted to make amends, but he wouldn't give me the chance." He defended meekly.
"And why should he?" McGonagal growled. It was not often that Gryffindors were the subject of McGonagal's wrath, but when she was in a temper she was a formidable witch that even Dumbledore himself was known to avoid if at all possible on such occassions.
"Y-You know then? He actually told you?" Arthur asked in surprise.
McGonagal smirked. "Not Harry, he knows how to keep a confidence. I had my own suspicions, and you've just verified them." She turned her attention to the painting at her right."Do all Minister's lose their common sense and objectivity?"
"Sadly, it seems. I've often pondered that the job was cursed. Fudge should have just abdicated the job to Voldemort. He would've hanged himself in a year, two at most." Dumbledore suggested wistfully.
"Dad?"Ron worriedly prompted his dejected appearing father.
"I,…I asked him to leave Britain and never return."Arthur confessed remorsefully.
Gasps of surprise and disgust filled the room, except…
"HOW COULD YOU?" Hermione railed as Ron held her back from attacking her father in-law.
"Let go of me, Ron!"she demanded. "How could you, knowing how he feels about you,..how could you?" Hermione collapsed sobbing into Ron's arm. He rubbing her back and cooing softly into her hair, all the while glaring daggers at his father.
"I regretted it the moment I asked." Arthur Weasley stated with honest conviction. "They were harsh words said in the heat of the moment. I wanted to take them back, I tried, but he wouldn't see me. He wouldn't take my calls, or answer any owls-nothing? I'd desperately hoped to get a word after the show last night, but now… this. I'd hoped his doing the show was his way of saying there were no hard feeling, but it was a goodbye that I didn't realize until too late. I've no one to blame but myself."
Arthur pleaded with the room emphatically. "Please, I didn't want this. For months I've been trying to make amends. I even tried to force thru the Elf Freedom Act as a show of my good faith. I wanted to do it, not just because it's the right thing to do, which it is, but also because I wanted to do something for Harry,… but in the end I failed and I lost the trust and respect of someone I greatly admire and love."
Arthur turned to his wife. "I'm sorry, Molly."
Molly grasped her grieving husband's hand. "You haven't failed dear. Harry knew, just listen"
Molly took Harry's letter from her apron and unfolded it. She read its contents to her family:
Dearest Friends and Family….
It is with a heavy, but grateful heart that I write you now. Heavy; because at the time you read this I have left British shores, may haps- permanently so. Grateful; because I know that I take your love and best wishes with me and leave you the same.
Although this course of action was not originally of my own inspiration, I undertake this new adventure whole heartedly and ask you all to accept this decision as if it were my own. Do not blame yourselves, any of you. Many of you may not agree with what I now do, but I assure you that I do this for the 'greater good', as Dumbledore was so fond of reminding us. I see the wisdom of those words now, more than ever.
The time has come for me to leave and seek my fortune elsewhere. I go to see if I can truly make a difference in the world, or at least the magical part of it.
I do not leave a forwarding address for security reasons, and besides; I am out of owl, apparition, floo or even port-key range, from the British Isles.
I'm sorry, but for personal and security issues; I will be out of communication with you for some time.
Do not worry over me as I have taken some good friends and trusted colleagues along with me.
All my love and best wishes, Harry
P.S.- Arthur, I've left a little something by way of a parting gift, just to show you that there are NO hard feeling, so don't fret over any preconceived notions that this move on my part is a result of our former misunderstanding. I'm merely doing what I think is the right thing to do and I owe it to you for giving me the push I needed to strike out on my own. Gratefully, Harry
Arthur chuckled at the irony. "Some good friends and trusted colleagues" he quoted.
"Dad?" Bill asked what he was referring to.
Arthur cleared his throat to gather the room's attention and read a letter he extracted from his breast pocket.
"I no longer feel the pride I once felt in donning the uniform of an Unspeakable. We research and train endlessly, but to what point? We are never allowed to share the results of our research for the betterment of our fellow man. Our training is never utilized in the rescue and, or defense of our own people.
During Voldemort's reign of terror we were held in check. Supposedly we were our nation's last line of defense. We should have been the first and foremost to engage the fiend and end his reign of terror, but no… we watched impotently as a young man, (no more than a boy really), did what we could not. That same young man provided us a means, at his own expense, and led us in battle this New Year's past. That battle we would have surely lost and perished to a man if it had not been for the efforts of one our own Ministry dishonored and betrayed.
Did we honor him when we were miraculously afforded the opportunity to do so? We placed our country's highest honor, The Order of Merlin, on a generic plaque adorning our hallway, when it belongs around the neck of he who so unselfishly earned it.
Once I was proud and had a purpose, but now I am ashamed and despairing. I am ashamed of my country, my corps and myself for allowing the complacency that has become our lot.
I've been afforded a new position that gives me hope for a brighter future for the magical world. I go to regain my honor whilst I still can.
I go where I belong.
I go home."
Former Commander Unspeakable Corps, William T. Hoag"
Arthur closed the letter and returned it to his robe.
"The Hall of the Unspeakable's lies empty. Harry has shown them the way and I wish them Godspeed."he said wistfully and meaning it.
"All of the U-Unspeakables', then?"Hermione gasped in disbelief.
Arthur nodded. "Every last one. My desk was literally covered with their resignations. They've left to a man and follow Harry's banner now. On a hunch; I contacted the Chinese Ministry and was unsurprised to learn that their Night Shade corps also followed suit, only it did so with their Ministry's knowledge and blessings."
"I have two more bombshells to drop, courtesy of our errant knight. A rather ingenious bit of pranking he's…"
Arthur's words trailed off as the floo flared to life and his twin, inebriated son's stumbled out shouldering, a rather worse for wear, older brother between them.
"Make a hole you lot." Fred demanded as he flung a passed out percy onto the couch, eliciting a an indignant huff from his French sister in-law.
"Sprinter that one." George acknowledged, plopping himself down on the floor in front of the couch.
"Came out of the gate like a champion, but no staying power." Fred finished his twin's thought.
"Not l-like us, eh G-Gred?"George hiccupped proudly.
"Thoroughbreds we are."Fred agreed, thumping his chest winningly.
"Intoxicated delinquents more like." Hermione scoffed.
"One man sees a rose…"Fred began.
"Another a-thorn-urppp!"George finished, belching loudly after.
Hermione rolled her eyes at that.
"So that's what's become of my missing aide." Arthur chuckled.
"What have you done to my Percy?"Molly spat accusingly at her besotted twin sons.
"Done to him?" Fred asked in surprise.
"He nearly had us beat after the first two bottles of fire whiskey."George related.
"If we hadn't switched to Arcane Ale, we'd be goners for sure."Fred agreed.
"Messed u-up his game p-plan that did. Can't mix his beverages, poor sod."George lamented.
"Otherwise he's got the makings of a fine bloke."
"Here-Here!"George cheerily agreed.
"Picked up the tab and a pretty brunette to boot!" Fred chortled enviously.
"True Weasley." George acknowledged.
"Mind, we'd had our doubts up till now?" Fred eyed his mother skeptically.
Molly huffed embarrassedly, a faint blush coloring her cheek as she levitated her unconscious son from the room, squawking over her shoulder as she left.
"Just for that, you'll get no hangover tonic from me!"
"Cruel she is." Fred gripped.
"She's not a patch on that blighter, Potter. George sobered slightly from his place on the floor.
"That reminds me, the sale?" Hermione asked curiously.
"Sale?" George acted surprised.
"Setup, more like." his twin clarified.
Fleur snickered. "I heard it was , ow you say it,…complete suc-zess!"
Fred rolled his eyes and added drolly, "Sold out lock, stock and barrel."
"Sounds good."Charlie joined the conversation, missing his brother's sarcasm."Another success for WWW."
"Another success for our, up till now, silent partner!" George amended rising unsteadily from the floor.
Fred tore a bit of parchment from his trouser's pocket and opened it to read a note Harry had posted them:
"Gentlemen:
Enchanting Chudley's training broomsticks with an engorgement charm,"
At this, Fred paused to snicker derisively before continuing…
"…was a low blow, even for you!"
"Engorgement charm?"Hermione interrupted, rounding skeptically on her husband. "You said that you really liked what I was… mmphff!"
"Not now, Hermione!" Ron gasped in alarm, clamping a hand over his wife's mouth.
"You're right,… always the quite ones." Fred quoted sagely, handing his brother a galleon.
George pocketed the coin with an appreciative wink toward his sister in-law, who's eyebrows went up in alarm as her cheeks colored.
George smirked and plucked the note from his brother's grasp and continued reading the note:
"Apparently you've yet to learn who's a true heir to a marauder and who's just a pretender to the crown?"
"Smacks of jealousy that does."Fred waved his hand dismissively toward the note in his brother's grasp.
"Envy is a green eyed monster, and its name is Potter." George agreed.
George finished reading the note they received from Harry.
"Let's see,.. where was I…? Ah yes,…pretender to the crown. If today's 'Sale" wasn't proof enough regarding the identity of the 'True Marauder', then this bit of news should seal the deal?"
"What'd he do?" Hermione asked, interrupting again.
George looked up from the letter in his hand,… "Oh, nothing much…"
"He just port-keyed us to the front display windows of our own store…"Fred added.
"Where we were forced to watch in petrified horror.."George continued to relay.
"Whilst those little fiends he employs…"Fred scathed.
"Redecorated our store like a brothel's rummage sale." George clarified in lament.
"Then proceeded to play 'dress up doll' with a pair of unwitting m-mannequins…"Fred choked out, his cheeks flaming.
"Push up bras,… make-up,… wigs…" George gasped in utter dread.
"They even shaved our…" Fred began to detail their shame when…
"Don't say it!" His twin cuffed him across the back of the head.
Too late,… the room was in tears of mirth over the mental picture.
The twins never even registered the humor everyone was enjoying at their expense.
Fred continued hollowly with vacant eyes as if he was relaying some half remembered traumatic event.
"The store opened and droves of witches descended upon us buying whips and riding crops…"
"Rubber corsets, furry hand cuffs and ... and…" his brother shivered in revulsion next to him.
"And all the while the outfits, those mad devils put us into, were bewitched to make us do things…" his brother cut back in.
"Bad things."George reiterated vaguely.
"Very bad things." Fred swallowed in horror.
"What sorts of things?" Charlie asked curiously fighting back a snort.
"Oh,…er,…well…"George stuttered flaming red.
"Somezing like this!"Fleur crowed brandishing the front page of the Sunday late edition of the Prophet.
There, for all the world to see; was a Belly dancing, Fredwina, undulating provocatively in the front window. His twin was dressed up in a skimpy cheerleading outfit that showed more than a little cheek each time he bounced up in the air delivering a new cheer.
"Disgusting!"Molly shrieked morbidly, her own cheeks flaming. The rest of her family, Arthur included, were laughing uproariously at the twin's expense.
Once the room began to settle, after some extended giggling, Fred added dejectedly. "That isn't even the worst of it!"
"Not by a long shot!"George added in a disgruntled tone.
"W-What more?"Bill asked nearly choking.
"Those little swine of his had set off a special charm, in our shop, courtesy of one 'Mental-Magical-Knight"!" Fred drawled venomously.
"Which had the profound effect of transfiguring all our stock…"George began to clarify.
"Including our warehouse…"Fred added.
"Into his warped version of 'Wicked Witches Wares!"
"You mean he…?" Hermione gasped in awe despite herself.
"Decimated our entire line of merchandise."Fred clarified.
"Destroyed hours upon hours of research, development and marketing…."George added dejectedly.
"But with the money from the sale, you could replace your stock, maybe even consider doing a witches line, it does sound like it was a n absolute success, after all, not that I'd ever…?" Hermione left off embarrassedly.
"Shop there?"Fred assumed, with a roll of his eyes.
"No one else will either." George whined.
"He cleaned us out, but good." Fred groused, almost enviously.
"Just use the money from the sale to restock."Hermione suggested.
Fred rolled his eyes.
"Use the money we made, she says?" George quipped.
"What's wrong with that idea, brother 'o mine?"Fred asked with a knowing drawl.
"Oh,… could it be this?" George suggested, rifling thru his trouser pocket and pulling a bit of parchment out.
George cleared his throat, gathering everyone puzzled attention.
"This is what we found in what should have been our "full to bursting" register. I quote:
"In grateful acceptance of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes generous donation of six thousand three hundred and twenty six galleons, seven sickles and four knuts, we the members of the Elf Freedom Act committee accept your generous donation.
Remit for tax exemption purposes."
"So Harry…?"Ron began to ask before his brother cut him off.
"Made us a laughing stock." Fred offered disdainfully.
"While robbing us blind!" George finished off jealously.
Snickers and guffaws filled the room.
Fred and George staggered over to their father who's eyes were tearing as he tried and mostly failed not to laugh at his sons' expense.
"Might we tuck into your den…?"Fred began.
"For a wee nip of Ogden's finest?"
"Don't you think you've had enough?" their mother stopped giggling long enough to scold them.
Fred rounded on his mother. "Madam,.. when we have either died of shame…"
"…or alcoholism?" Geroge finished his statement.
"Then it will have been enough." Fred vowed imperiously, his brother nodding agreement beside him.
Molly huffed at her twin sons in exasperation and was about to comment further when Arthur suggested…
"Be my guest, boys. I'll join you in a moment."Arhthur thumbed his son's in the direction of his private study, whilst Molly scoffed..
"Arthur!"
"Awe Molly,"Arthur griped, addressing not only his wife but the room at large. "For those of you not in the know; the official record for pranks now stands at: Potter three and Weasley zero! Fred and George were not the only recipients of Harry's parting: 'No Hard Feelings' salvo. They got it first, but I got it good!"
Jane Granger smile lecherously."Do tell?" she asked smugly.
Arthur sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, as he entered into relaying the events of the morning.
"I was sifting thru the mountain of resignation letters that littered my desk when I was alerted by screams of dismay from the hall outside. I grabbed my wand, thinking we were under attack, and with the Unspeakables gone, that is a very real possibility? Anyway, I entered the hallway to find absolute pandemonium. People were diving under desks and into cubicles. We were under attack alright."
Arthur paled at the memory as startled gasps filled the room around him.
"The smell, the smell was ungodly!" he lamented.
"Blood,..b-burning flesh?"Charlie asked in trepidation.
Arthur shook his head forlornly. "Dung Bombs!"
"Peeves, the poltergeist, has apparently taken up residency at the ministry per instruction of the Knight of the Magical Races, of which he is apparently a member in 'good standing' and declared an honorary "Marauder"." Arthur drew quotation marks in the air.
"Of all the dirty…" Fred complained disgusted thru the open door of his father's study.
"Low that is."George added.
Molly was averting her gaze from her troubled husband trying not to laugh in his face as she asked, "What did you do, Arthur?"
"What any sane man would do in my place? I ran for my private restroom to wash the stench off, only two find Harry's second surprise awaiting me?"Arthur smiled wanly, with an appreciative sigh.
"I must admit; Harry's a thorough bloke, likes to cover his bases, he does. Anyway, I made it into my bathroom and what do I find?... 'Moaning Myrtle' covered in soap suds, her ghostly pimpled leg displayed languidly over the rim of my tub whilst she purrs…"What kept you minister? HE-HE-HE…" she chuckled in that revoltingly suggestive simper of hers." Arthur shuddered at the image, and then withdrew to join his twin sons in drowning his sorrows."
The room broke out in hysterics.
After everyone finally calmed down and the giggles had mostly subsided, Hermione took note of the rather pensive appearance of her former Headmaster's visage from his portrait.
"Headmaster?" Hermione asked sensing the portraits trepidation.
Albus Dumbledore's visage tried to smile reassuringly, but didn't quite reach it. "I am sorry, Hermione. But,.. it is to me that Harry's wrath should be vented upon."
He paused as others took notice of his statement, and clarified. "Minerva had the means to contact Harry in Arthur's behalf. She could have bridged the gap between them, but I counseled otherwise."
"W-Why?" Hermione gasped in dread. Her eyes shifted between Minerva's resolute ones and Albus Dumbledore's knowing ones. "You could have prevented this? He could be here now? We could…?"
"You could destroy him?" McGonagal cut her off.
Hermione's eyes blazed at that, but before she could reply, McGonagal continued her train of thought.
"How much more needless drama do you all think he can endure? How many more times must I watch him make two strides forward only to be forced a step back by this family's thoughtless disregard?" she spat at the room.
Her eyes softened as she turned them on the Grangers. "I do not include you in this Jane and Richard. I think that without your love and support; he should have gone mad years ago. You two kept him grounded. Showed him kindness, compassion, affection; everything that parents should do, and you have. I applaud you both. You too,Ron."
Ron's desolate eyes snapped up at this, hopefully.
"You have remained steadfast and loyal. A true friend; comrade and brother. The twins likewise. True Gryffindors the lot"
"But he pranked them?" Hermione tried in denial.
McGonagal scoffed, waving her hand airily. "A bit of fun. I dare say they'll rebound and the 'prank war' will continue on the morrow."
"Here-Here!" Dumbledore's portrait cheered winningly.
Hermione gapped at the painting, who winked cheekily at her.
McGonagal berated. "The rest of you shame the House of Gryffindor!"
"Now see here?" Molly began to argue.
"You Molly are perhaps the worst of the lot?" McGonagal spat disgustedly, causing the domineering Weasley matriarch to cower like a school girl as McGonagal vented her wrath.
"You call him one of your own, but, ...'blood will out', won't it Molly? You always take Ginny's side over Harry's, even when she's blatantly wrong!" McGonagal hissed this in Ginny's direction, causing the, until know, quietly trying to evade notice, youngest Weasley to…
"Just how have I been wrong?" Ginny spat back defiantly.
McGonagal smiled predatorily. "When haven't you where Harry's concerned? He's been there, always on the periphery, but you've yet to show a semblance of your former self and take the chance to meet him half way. Ron and Hermione blocked your memory. They did not amputate your courage. The former's long since passed from being an issue, the latter is ongoing. He would move heaven and earth for you. Why, I can't possibly fathom?"
Ginny face caved at that and she left the room in tears.
McGonagal clucked her tongue knowingly when Molly flew to her distraught daughter's aid.
"Proof of the pudding."she lectured those still present.
"You brothers?" McGonagal turned her ire on the remaining Weasley siblings present. "I would that Percy was sober to hear what I have to say about you lot as a whole, but, what's left will have to do? How many are the times you refer to him as your brother in all but blood? You turn on him like rabid dogs when there's a hint of smoke, but never a fire. You, William, are a fine example of an oldest brother-not. You're petty jealousy is an insult to your wife as well as Harry. I can reassure you by telling you this: Harry would find the idea of an elicit tryst with one of his friend's significant other, wholly repugnant!"
McGonagal softened and turned her attention to Fleur." No offence to you, Fleur."
"Non taken.' Fleur returned with a haughty glare at her husband who sunk lower in his chair.
"You have been a good friend and a kindness to Harry, Fleur. I thank you for that."
"It az been my pleasure and distinct honor, Headmistress." Fleur returned proudly.
"Charles…" McGonagal rounded on Charlie next."How long must you play the protective older brother? Ginny's a big girl now and demands to be treated as such. Why not let her and with it assume all the responsibilities that come along with her choices? It's time she grew up and it's time you helped facilitate that. Threatening Harry on her behalf or to merely assuage your own loss of brotherly attention is a waste. You're one of the first to turn on him when the situation presents itself. Do you do it for her sake or your own? You're playing with fire, Charlie Weasley. Harry could chew you up and spit you out and the next time you run your mouth I hope he does just that. If not, I'll finish your education regarding dangerous beasts, myself personally!",
Charlie gulped apprehensively, understanding her completely. It was times like this he wished he longed for the good old days when a detention was all he suffered for being stupid.
McGonagal eyed Ron. "Tell that drunken sot upstairs that when he's sober enough and wizard enough to hear it; I've a bit of advice for "Perfect Prefect Percy"." She took a leaf out of the twin's page by calling Percy by his hated moniker, dubbed by his twin brothers.
"Arthur's reaped what he's sown, albeit he's played his part for the 'greater good', but not entirely so? He, like Molly, tends to overlook what is right over what is easy when family is involved. Again, 'blood will out'. He's a better man than that. I would that he'd come around sooner, but the die is cast."McGonagal half quoted prophetically, half lamented.
McGonagal turned her attention reluctantly toward the last person, yet to be addressed, but was interrupted by boisterous singing from Arthur and his twin sons, eschewing from out of his study.
"On that note," she chuckled. "… let us away, Albus." She moved to gather up Dumbledore's portrait.
"Wait! W-What about me?" Hermione asked hesitantly, her curiosity getting the better of her.
McGonagal's shoulders sagged.
She was saved by Dumbledore from having to broach the subject.
Dumbledore peered over the top of his eyeglasses at Hermione, scrutinizing her carefully.
"You, Mrs. Weasley, ne Granger are one of Hogwart's greatest academic triumphs." he praised.
Hermione brightened proudly at this, sitting up straighter in her chair.
"You are also, on a more personal note, one of our greatest disappointments."
Hermione's face fell.
"Harry has had no guide. No semblance of a functional family dynamic, let alone a supportive, even affectionate one, unlike the whole of you." Albus lectured the room, but his eyes held Hermione's.
"Yet he grew into a marvelous man. As powerfully magical as he is, he is that much more a decent human being, filled with kindness and good intent. I, myself, am to blame for much that he suffered during his developmental years. In my own defense, all I can offer is that what machinations I placed upon the boy I did blindly for his own protection and for that of the "greater good" that would be served upon his living to meet his destiny. Make no mistake; I take no share of the glory that came from his ultimate triumph. If anything I am guilty of child neglect, though had I known he would turn out as he did, I can't honestly say I do anything different, however much I might want to have done. What is your excuse, Hermione? You share the love of two very fine young men. One: in a deeply romantic and also a deep platonic sense. The other; in a wholly platonic, but also very deep friendship that is a magic all its own. Do you appreciate what you have and by that I mean relish and except it for whatever faults it may have in the sure knowledge that the good far outweighs the bad?"
"O-Of course I do." Hermione returned almost instantly, though some slight doubt was niggling at her conscious.
Dumbledore's portrait raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Indeed. One has your unwavering faith and continues at your side, but where is the other? Why are the inseparable three now a mere pair?"
"Well were adults now, of course. It's to be expected that we couldn't always continue as just the three of us. Ron and I are a couple now, after all." she tried to explain away, but her own self doubts grew with each word she uttered.
"I am, of course speaking metaphorically, but the question still has merit: Where is the third? Do you even know? Good friends should be able to get in touch with one another, but alas, Harry seeks his destiny now, and he does so without you. Married or no, it is a sadness to see this break. It is one that I would have never considered previously."
Hermione began to sniffle dejectedly, finding little comfort despite Ron's arm circling her shoulder.
Dumbledore continued to press his point.
"Too easily you lecture when you should advice. You are not always right, Hermione. Knowledge comes from books, not wisdom.
You mother instead of nurture. How many were the times you turned him from his chosen path, despite however right that path may be, solely doing so for your own sense of security and further intent to savor the status quo?
The worst of it is that you lose faith in your friend when he's given you no reason previously to do so. It is this last that is perhaps the most disappointing of all.
Of all of you, he wants nothing more than respect, consideration and acceptance. Is that not the very least that one could expect to receive from friends, let alone family?"
Murmurs of shamed agreement sounded about the room.
Dumbledore nodded, satisfied that his audience may yet learn and grow from their mistakes.
"It may interest you to know…?" McGonagal informed the room with a cunning smirk on her usually detached, stern face. "…that what has transpired today is, for all intents and purposes, but a pale semblance of what is to come. He's been pushed too far and when a man like Harry has been pushed too far?
"H-He fights b-back." Hermione stutteringly surmised.
"Indeed" Dumbledore's portrait chortled appreciatively.
"Most of you have been playing with fire and you're about to get burned." McGonagal warned in a knowing chuckle as she left the room.