Chapter 18

AN: Okay, I haven't been updating as frequently, and that isn't about to change. It's almost the end of the semester, so I will have major assignments and I have to study for exams. I'll update as much as I can, but there won't be much this month. So savor this chapter, for you will have a long wait.

I Hate That I Love You

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

Reed POV

I needed to think. The place for me to do that is on the soccer field. I raced to my room after seeing Thomas and grabbed my soccer stuff, knowing I had practice after lunch. I raced, gym bag in hand, to the locker rooms by the soccer fields. I changed and began pelting balls into the net. I scored time and time again and wished I had someone to play against. I saw someone running toward the field; I hoped it was one of the girls on the team, but just about anyone would do at this time.

Of course, the person coming toward the field, was the one person I didn't want to see right now. Josh, I knew this was no coincidence, not after he tried to talk to me earlier. I continued pelting balls into the net, harder and harder, hoping he would get the message, and leave, but also hoping, in the back of my mind, that he would stay and beg for forgiveness. Josh walked up and stood next to me. As much as I wanted to turn to him and let him explain, I just ignored him.

"Reed, I know you're mad, and I completely understand, but you need to know, I just don't want to lose you. You're the most important person to me. I'm scared that if you become friends with Noelle, that you'll be a different person. I know I'm overprotective and overbearing, but I'm terrified, you're too important for me to risk losing. I realize now that I'm pushing you away in my efforts to pull you closer. I wished time and time again that I could go back in time and change it, but I can't. So I can only hope that, in time, you can find a way to forgive me." Josh explained "I'll go now. If you can forgive me, please come find me. Whenever." He began walking away. I couldn't let him leave. Not now. Not now that I understand.

"Josh, wait! Please stay, I'm not over it yet, but understand, I forgive you." I said

"Oh Reed! I'm so sorry. I promise that'll never happen again. If you want to hang out with Noelle, I'm… I'm okay with it." Josh admitted.

"Josh, the only reason I was even there was so that Noelle would leave me alone." I explained.

"What?" Josh asked, confused.

I launched into an explanation of what had happened with Noelle.

"Oh, Reed. I'm so sorry. If only I had let you explain. I would've never done that if I had known, I overreacted, majorly." Josh apologized, when I finished.

"Josh, it wasn't your fault you didn't know, I didn't tell you. I could've prevented all of this." I wished I hadn't made him feel bad about that.

"Oh Reed, don't feel bad about that, you don't have to tell me everything." Josh assured me.

"I would've told you, but I never thought you would've been there, so it would've been pointless." I explained, ashamed.

"I didn't want to be there, but someone had to be there to bring to take Thomas back to our room when he can't do it himself." Josh explained. I knew how bad that could be; living with Thomas must be like taking care of my mother.

"Trust me Josh; I know how bad that can be." I admitted quietly.

Josh hugged me tight and asked "Are you okay Reed?"

"Yeah I'm fine Josh." I answered, I didn't feel like getting upset right now so I asked Josh "Josh… do you play soccer?"

Josh gave me a devilish smile and raced to half field and grabbed one of the balls sitting there, sprinting toward the far net. He thought he could get past me, but little did he know, I was one of the star players on the soccer team.

"Hah, you think you can score on me that easily?" I asked Josh as I stole the ball and ran the other way. Josh turned to chase me, but slipped and fell face first on to the grass because he wasn't wearing cleats, apparently, he forgot. I was already at half field by the time Josh managed to get to his feet.

Our game lasted through the rest of lunch, about a half hour. Josh fell at least a dozen times and I won by twelve points. 4-16, my personal best win. As the rest of the girls and the coach arrived, Josh and I moved to the bleachers, so that I could take a quick break and rest a bit before practice. Josh and I sat side by side silently. I looked over at Josh and he was still panting like a dog. I giggled and Josh looked over at me and without seeming to think, leaned in and gave me a sweet, passionate kiss. When he finally pulled away, I was the one panting.

Unfortunately, at that point, everyone emerged from the change room.

AN: I'm sure that didn't end how you expected. I felt like changing it up. I only got a couple reviews, what do I need to do to get your attention enough for reviews?