* Words Between Us, Part 1 *
I knock on Hanako's door, and she opens it, just enough for me to see half of her face. I can't help remembering the times when I came here before, when she shut herself in for days and wouldn't talk.
But the half of her face I can see is smiling, and she opens the door all the way.
Hanako
"Hello, Hisao."
She moves in close and hugs me, and I put my arms around her in return, rest my cheek on her hair as always. We've done this enough that I can sigh along with her, and I think, no, I know she feels the same way about all this.
After we separate, she steps back and invites me in, and I close the door behind me.
Hanako's room is still pretty bleak, still looks like she hasn't been living here long. The only bright spot is the two dolls Lilly gave her as birthday presents, though the chessboard I gave her has a prominent spot on her desk.
She sits down on her bed and motions for me to sit next to her, and I feel my face get warm. This is just to talk, I tell myself again, and try hard to believe it.
Hanako
"I t-talked to my therapist today. I told her about . . . everything."
Same as Lilly, and Hanako told Lilly everything too. Well, I can't say she's still afraid to open up.
Hisao
"Everything?"
She nods, her smile shy and a little embarrassed.
Hanako
"Everything. It was one of the first things she told me when we first started talking, that I had to tell her about everything or she couldn't help me."
That makes sense. It's the therapist's job to help people through their problems; whoever the woman is, she's not exactly a friend to Hanako, not like Lilly and I are. It doesn't seem like Hanako wants her friends to think they have to help her, but this is different.
Hanako
"She was . . . really surprised. She didn't think I would have a b-boyfriend after only knowing you a few weeks."
Nervousness creeps into Hanako's voice, and I rest my hand on hers. She seems to relax after a moment, but doesn't say anything more.
Hisao
"This was kind of a surprise to everyone, I think. A good surprise, but – well, you saw the look on Lilly's face."
Hanako giggles quietly, and puts her free hand to her mouth as she blushes.
Hanako
"I didn't think I'd say it like that. But Akira . . . she was smiling and acting like she knew, and Lilly couldn't see it, and it just came out."
Hisao
"It's not like we were trying to hide it. Lilly and Akira know you hold onto people, but you don't usually hold their hand when you do it."
Hanako turns her hand over beneath mine. It's a pretty awkward way of holding hands, but neither of us move. We're both quiet for a moment, and she rubs her free hand on her arm. I know she wants to say something, but wait for her to do so.
Hanako
"My therapist said that w-we might have done things too fast. I told her why, like I told you, and she said she understands, but. . . ."
The look in her eyes borders on fear. I take a deep breath. Is she still worried I'll reject her? I shake my head.
Hisao
"I think we did, but I don't regret it. But we don't have to rush into doing that again-"
Hanako
"Y-you want to?"
I look at her, my eyebrows raised in sudden confusion. Why would she think I wouldn't want to? She knows how I feel about her, and after what I said on Saturday, how could she think otherwise?
All the same, the simple answer seems best.
Hisao
"Yes."
She looks down at our clasped hands, and puts her other hand on top of mine, turning to face me as she does. I lean forward and kiss her forehead, then her cheek, and she's blushing when I pull away.
But I make no other move. Even with what we just said, it really doesn't feel like it's something either of us want to do right now. Maybe she's just really surprised at hearing me actually say it.
Hanako
"I think we should. . . ."
Okay, I might have completely misinterpreted everything.
Hanako
"G-go on a date."
She raises her eyes and gives me a small smile, though she's still blushing. I smile back, hoping it doesn't look too relieved. Not what I expected, but a ton easier to deal with than . . . than anything else right now.
Hisao
"You're asking me out?"
We both laugh, and she gives my hand a squeeze. She still looks nervous, but it's the happy kind of nervous, like she knows the hard part is over.
Hanako
"Y-yes. My therapist said that we should try going out like most couples do, to spend some time together. I told her how I don't always understand you, and she said this would help."
That's really good advice, actually. It seems like we've gone about this whole thing sideways and maybe backwards, instead of how things usually go. Then again, if I'd just asked her out like most people would, she probably would have run off again.
And if she'd asked me out, I might have had a heart attack from the surprise.
Hisao
"Well, I can't say no to that. When do you want to go?"
Hanako
"How about . . . tomorrow? After school?"
There's a kind of joy in her eyes, one I don't get to see very often. This has to be the first time she's asked someone out, the first date she'll go on. Right then, I decide I have to do something to make it memorable.
Hisao
"Sounds good. What do you want to do?"
Hanako
"I was thinking we could go to the park, and have a picnic. I-is that okay?"
I nod. Simple, but definitely a date. And with exams coming up, it's not like we have the time to do something big and elaborate.
Hanako
"I can make food, if you can bring a blanket."
Hisao
"I can do that. I'll bring drinks too, so you're not doing everything."
She nods. It's a date, then. Like so much of my life since I came to Yamaku, this didn't happen like I thought it would, but that's not a bad thing. It's hard to imagine how this could turn out bad. Unless it rains. But then we can go to the Shanghai or something, and it'll still be a date.
We talk for a little while longer, until we realize it's almost curfew. After saying our goodnights, I start back toward the mens' dorm.
Only once I'm halfway there do I realize I don't have a blanket, other than the one on my bed. That's not really what I'd want to use for a picnic. And the only person I know who's mentioned having one is Kenji.
Eh, when I ask, I'll just tell him it's for infiltration. He'll believe me. Or I'll tell him the real reason and steal a blanket after he hyperventilates and passes out. That would work too.