Hello guys, I appreciate every single review I have gotten. I know I said I would update recently, but I kind of got all depressed because I barely had reviews..and I'm the type of person that feels if people who read the story don't review it, then they must have not liked the chapter or it was really bad, so I try to think of something better-I'm so sensitive, but like I said, I have so many more chapters. It's only chapter 11. This story will be at least 40 chapters. I had to cut this chapter short, but I didn't forget about the other stuff I said was going to happen—I just don't want my chapter too long- sorry for rambling. Au Revoir.
::Riley Freeman::
I stood in front of my opened locker, placing my text books inside. I heard footsteps walking towards me and immediately turned to the side to get a good look at the person who was making their way down the hall. It was my friend Clyde. I barely saw him today, mainly because he was always cutting class.
"Wassup Riley?" Clyde said, continuing to walk over. He had a sly grin on his face.
"Nothing much, just trying to put these heavy ass books in my locker." I said nonchalantly. I placed another textbook in my locker and looked towards him. "Is there something you wanted?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Nah, I was just wondering why you weren't in the Cafeteria today…"
"I decided to chill in the Library with Zoey."
He gave me a weird a look. "…you still messing with that girl?"
"No, I'm not messing with her. I'm dating her; we're in a relationship"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever man…if that's what you're into…do you…..I guess"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked hostilely.
"Nothing man" He said pausing for a second. "I just think you could do better than some-"
"Hold up." I said, interrupting. "Whoever I want to date or talk to is my business—not yours, not Cindy, or anybody fucking else, alright?"
I closed my locker and walked away, disgusted by our short conversation. I was sick of hearing people opinions that I could care less about. The only opinion that mattered was mine.
::Zoey Anderson::
It was 1:55 in the afternoon and I had just finished my Art class. I decided to make a quick stop to the girls restroom. Just my luck, my pen had burst ink all into my hands. I walked into the restroom, looking down, disgusted by the black ink being inside of my palms and ended up bumping into someone. "Oh, sorry" I said beginning to look up. My face quickly turned displeased by this person's presence.
"Nice to see you again, Zoey…" Cindy said sarcastically. She was making her way out of the restroom as I was walking in.
"Yeah..sure" I said, making my way towards the sink. I turned the water on and started to rinse my hands, but seconds later realized she was still standing there. I looked over at her as she stood by the corner of the wall, watching me silently. "Can I help you?" I asked annoyed.
"No, I don't need any help, but you definitely need all of the help you can get" she said blatantly.
I continued washing my hands and looked at her confused. I was unsure by her words, but had a feeling she knew something that was none of her business.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
She gave me a sinister grin. "I mean, maybe you should get help about your little problem…you know? Cutting yourself?"
For some reason, my heart felt like it was about to sink. My breathing became heavy and I had no words to say. Cindy looked at me with her arms folded, waiting for me to say something. I took a few seconds to pull myself together and walked over to her.
"Did Riley tell you this?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible, but on the inside, I was screaming in rage.
"No, I found out on my own and that's all you need to know" She said, with an attitude.
"Look, Cindy…I know we're not very fond of each other, but let's just keep this between the three of us."
"The three of us?" She questioned.
I began to help her understand. "You, me and Ri—"
"Yeah I know who you mean" She quickly interrupted. "But that's the thing…there is no three of us. If you want your secret kept quiet, you'll stay away from Riley, okay?"
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Do you really think this is going to help your friendship with Riley?"
She rolled her eyes at me. "You're talking as if you've known Riley for years. Let's not forget who was here first. I was the one who was there for him before he even knew you existed"
I shook my head from side to side. "I can't believe you would stoop this low, Cindy."
"Look, do we have a deal or not?" She asked, ignoring my statement.
"No" I said, cutting my eyes. I began to walk pass her to make my way out of the door. She caused me to stop by touching my shoulder. I looked back at her, waiting for her to speak.
"Are really sure you want to make that choice? Do you really want the whole school knowing about your problem?"
I aggressively snapped back. "No! I don't want the whole school to know, but I refuse to sit back and be taken advantage of. So do what you have to do! Show Riley what a great friend you really are, I'm sure he'll just love this."
I looked at my watch. "I have to get to class. See you around" I said, quickly dismissing the conversation.
Later on that evening, I had to deal with something even more dreadful, a doctor's appointment. I hated everything about them: the hospitals, the doctors, the nurses, the random strangers sitting next to you. I tried to haul off the visit to the doctor as long as I could, but my mother finally had enough and forced me to go. I wish I never went because I found out some things that I would rather be unknown.
7:46 AM on a Tuesday morning , my body is tired and weak. I can't get up from the bed even if I tried.. I could feel my mother shaking me, telling me to get up. I finally give in after she pulls the covers off of me.
"Why aren't you out of bed yet? You should have been by the bus stop at 7:30." My mother lectured. I slowly sat up on the bed, my eyes barely open.
"Mom, I don't think I can go to school today. I swear I feel like I'm going to pass out." I moaned, hoping for the least bit of sympathy. The truth was that I really wasn't as sick as I claimed to be. Yes, I was tired and weak, but I still could manage to go to school. I just couldn't face the humiliation of Cindy possibly telling my secret. Just the thought of everybody knowing made my stomach turn.
"Mom, can I just please stay home today?" I begged.
She nodded her head, giving in. "Okay, fine. If you need anything, just call my cell or work number, alright?"
"Will do, mom" I responded, getting back into my bed. I pulled the covers over me, closing my eyes and waiting to hear the sound my door shut, letting me know that my mother was out of my room. When she finally walked out and closed the door behind her, I reached for my phone which was underneath my pillow. I wanted to text Riley and let him know that I wouldn't be at school today. After quickly sending my text, I placed my phone back underneath my pillow, rested my eyes and tried to fall back asleep. The sound of my phone vibrating disturbed me.
"That was a fast a reply" I mumbled to myself, grabbing my cell. Riley responded back with a text, asking why I wasn't going to school. I simply replied back, "I don't feel well". I couldn't tell him the truth, that I was just afraid to go to school because Cindy would tell my secret, causing it to spread like wild fire.
A minute later, my phone vibrated once again. Riley texted back; he wanted to know if my mother would be staying home with me. I began to text him and let him know that my mother was leaving for work at 8:30 AM. I had a feeling he was up to something, judging by his questions. I thought to myself that he'll probably come to visit me and of course I wouldn't mind his company.
3 hours later, I found myself bored with just watching TV. Nothing good came on during the day, so I ended up working on a drawing while sitting on my couch in the living room. I drew a portrait of a girl with long dark hair and cold black eyes that were lifeless and dull. She had no expression on her face, no personality. She was nothing. Seconds later, I heard 3 knocks on the door. I became a bit excited because I knew it would be Riley. I quickly hopped off the couch.
::Riley Freeman::
Zoey opened the door for me and I was shocked by the way she looked. Her arms were much thinner than before and her legs looked so fragile, as if they could break at any moment. I tried my hardest not to stare, so I quickly looked back up at her. She had a smile on her face, which I was happy to see. She didn't have those too often.
"So, you finally made it here…" She said, grinning.
"You were expecting me?" I asked.
She nodded her head. "Of course I was. You didn't ask about my mother leaving for no reason, right?" She said, grabbing my hand, leading me into the house.
I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. My hands traveled down to her waist. I could feel every single rib on her body. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by talking about her weight, but it was getting a little hard to ignore. She pulled back away from me and looked at me with a disappointed expression.
"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.
She rolled her eyes. "You've been smoking haven't you?" She asked in a disgusted tone.
"…yeah…I have" I admitted.
"I could tell because your mouth tastes like an ashtray" She said, walking towards the couch. "Riley, why do you even smoke? Your lungs are going to be fucked by the time you're 25—and how do get these cigarettes in the first place?"
I walked over to her. "I pay my nigga Leon and he gets his cousin to get em for me, but I only smoke whenever I'm stressed and right now, I have a lot of shit that's on my mind."
"Like what?" she asked. I could tell by her tone, she didn't take my reason for smoking seriously.
I began to explain. "Well, I'm losing my friends one by one…and I'm falling for a girl who's slowly killing herself"
She became quiet for a few seconds and started to fidget with her fingers nervously.
"Riley…I told you I'm trying to get better"
"Oh, really? From the looks of it…you've gotten worse—are you even eating?"
"Of course I'm eating, Riley!" She responded aggressively. "I ate a salad yesterday and had some grapes."
I laughed at her sorry excuse of an answer. "Wow, that's great progress. Keep up the good work." I said sarcastically.
"Fuck you, Riley." Zoey said angrily, storming up stairs. I sighed heavily, regretting my sly remark. I could hear her door slam from downstairs. I guess I really pissed her off, but it wasn't intentional.
I noticed her cell phone lying on the coffee table. I decided to look through her contacts, which was only about 8 people. I scrolled down to her mother's number and put it my cell phone. I definitely was going to have a word with Zoey's mom, whether she liked it or not. I wouldn't be able to live with the fact of me not doing anything to help Zoey. I couldn't just watch her dig her own grave.
Afterwards, I decided it go upstairs and apologize. I could hear her crying through the door.
"Zoey…Can I come in?" I asked, leaning on the wall.
I didn't get a reply, so I walked in anyway and saw her sitting down on her bed. She was no longer crying, but tears stained her face. I walked over to the bed and took a seat next to her.
"I'm sorry about what I said... I just really want you to get better"
She looked down at the floor, not responding to me.
"I guess you're still mad at me." I muttered.
"No, I'm not mad at you and I don't blame you for your actions." She said, turning her head towards me. "I blame myself…I blame myself for being so stupid to think that someone could actually understand me."
"I do understand you, Zoey."
"… No, you don't, because if you did, you wouldn't make me feel bad for not eating enough. You make me feel as if I'm not trying hard enough to fight this disorder. You will never understand, unless you feel how it is to be in my shoes…to be in my skin."
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Zoey" I said, grabbing her hand.. I just really care about you and I don't want to see you like this."
She slipped her hands away from mine and got up from the bed. She walked towards her mirror, looking at herself sadly.
"See, that's the thing with eating disorders, Riley…you just never know when it's going to end, sometimes it never ends. I may get better physically, but mentally, the thoughts will always be there…"
She looked back towards me. "You have to accept the Reality of this Riley…if you can't…then this relationship will not work."
"I can accept Reality." I responded sternly.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yes…"
She took a deep breath before she began to speak again.
"Yesterday, I had to visit the doctor…I got on the scale and I weighed 96 pounds with a BMI of 15.5. The doctor diagnosed me with Anorexia, He also did some tests and x-rays. Basically my muscles are deteriorating – the muscles in my arms and legs are almost nonexistent, so my body is starving and feeding off the muscle from my heart and other organs to survive. If I continue this, I'll basically suffer from a high risk of heart failure in my early 20s…but from what the doctor told me, I'm already at risk."
The room became quiet for a while. I looked at her speechless as she looked at me with her arms folded like she was waiting for a response, but what are you suppose to say when you're given this kind of news?
"…..I….I don't know what to say" I responded dolefully.
"There's nothing to say, Riley. I just want you to stop treating me as if I don't want to get better. I heard my mother crying last night in her bedroom, asking God to help her child. Do you know how that makes me feel?"
"…..how does it make you feel?"
"It makes me feel terrible, Riley. I'm putting my mother through all of this stress and she doesn't deserve it. I want to be normal. I want to live to see at least the age of 30, but when you pressure me like this, it only makes things worse."
I rubbed the back of my neck, not really knowing what to say. I felt stupid after hearing Zoey's lecture about how hard it was for her to try to get better. I should've been more understanding, but for some reason, I still felt like I needed to help her. She was a beautiful person inside and out. I refused to see her dig a hole deeper and deeper.
"I promise I won't try to pressure you anymore, Zoey. I truly mean that." I stood up from the bed and walked towards her. I hugged her tightly and kissed her on her forehead, apologizing once again for my childish remark.
After I patched things up with Zoey, I made it back home, went upstairs to my room, and took a seat on the bed. It was 4:30 pm. Zoey's mother wouldn't be home until 10:30, so I had plenty of time to call her, but I just had to get this off my chest. Zoey said she didn't want me pressuring her, but she said nothing about pressuring her mom. I scrolled through my phone, searching for the number. I felt a bit nervous, but I wasn't changing my mind. I dialed the number and the phone began to ring.
A female voice answered. "Hello?"
Okay guys, I'm stopping here- If you read this story and like it- leave reviews because they are appreciated and it gives me inspiration to keep adding on.