* Above and Beyond *

Hanako doesn't show up for class the next day.

All through classes, I find myself glancing toward her desk, as though she'll somehow appear when I'm not looking. Every time I hear footsteps in the hall, I look toward the doors, waiting for them to open. They never do.

By the time Mutou's class ends and it's time for lunch, I'm well and truly concerned. Hanako has hardly missed any classes over the past week and half, and even when she was gone for one or two, she always showed up for the rest. She hasn't missed an entire day since the time around her birthday.

Considering the emotional state she was in during those days. . . .

When the lunch bell rings, I hurry out of class, and pass by the tea room on the way to the library. The tea room is empty, as I thought it would be. I join a few other students heading into the library, and make my way to the space at the back where Hanako always sits.

She's there. I let my breath out in a rush, hardly aware I'd been holding it. She's not in her room again, not keeping everyone away again. I don't know why she would go back to that, but I don't know why she's stayed out of class all day.

Only one way to find out.

I walk up to her, and she raises her head before I can get close. Her face turns red, and she tries to hide it behind her book. Just like when we first met. Something inside me goes cold at the sight.

Hisao

"Hi."

Hanako

". . . hi."

Hisao

"You weren't in class today, are you feeling all right?

She closes the book, and lowers it slowly, but lowers her gaze as well. It doesn't seem like she's trying to hide, but whatever's on her mind, it's not going to be easy for her to put into words. Her eyes close, and after a moment, she sets the book aside.

Hanako

"C-can we go somewhere and talk? Please?"

It must be something really serious. We've spent plenty of time talking in the library, quietly of course, but she never seemed to mind. I run through a few places in my mind, and nod.

Hisao

"Okay. How about the roof?"

Hanako

"That . . . that'll be fine."

Without another word, she gathers her bag and stands up. We turn together and walk toward the library's exit, and halfway there, she takes my hand. She feels cold, and after a moment, her grip tightens, like she's afraid of letting go.

I squeeze back, to let her know I'm not going anywhere, but she doesn't say a thing.

When we reach the roof, we have it to ourselves, something I'm immensely grateful for. The last thing we need right now is for Emi and Rin, or anyone else really, to be up here. Hanako leads me to the benches near the roof's edge, and lets my hand go, then walks up to the fence and puts her hands on it. She stares off into the distance, and I join her.

I haven't spent much time up here, but I can see why people like it. Everything seems a little smaller, a little farther away, so it's like there's less to worry about. Up here, you don't need to think about anything that's happening down there.

Unless you bring it with you.

I look over at Hanako, who still hasn't said anything. Her eyes seem focused, though, and I know that look. Whatever she needs to say, she'll say it. I just have to give her time.

So, I look out across Yamaku and beyond, take a few deep breaths, and wait.

Hanako

"I . . . I used to come up here a lot. Before I met Lilly. Even after I met her, there were times when I came here, instead of going to the library. Then more people started being here, and I didn't like it as much anymore."

Hisao

"Did you come up here to be alone?"

She nods, and half-closes her eyes. It makes sense. During classes, there wouldn't be anyone here, but if someone did come up here, they would probably try to talk to her. The library is a better place for being alone.

Hanako

"I came here when I needed to be by myself, or to think about things. It's a good place for that."

She takes her hands from the fence and turns to me, folding her hands before herself in a way that reminds me of Lilly. As much time as they spend together, it makes sense they'd pick up the other's mannerisms.

But when Lilly does the hand-folding thing, it's when she's going to talk about something serious. I force down my nervousness and face Hanako, then wait.

Hanako

"I'm s-sorry, Hisao. I don't know how to do any of this."

Well, that's not what I expected. And like a lot of things over the past few says, it's more than a little vague.

Hisao

"Do any of what?"

She lowers her eyes again, and her face starts to darken, though I can't tell if she's embarrassed or if it's just a regular blush.

Hanako

"B-be your girlfriend."

. . . oh. I realize what she might be saying, and my heart starts to pound. Not now, please, not now. After everything we've talked about, after yesterday–

Hanako

"I w-want to be, but – are you all right?"

I put a hand to my heart and exhale all at once, and only then realize how that must have looked. I shake my head quickly.

Hisao

"I'm fine, I'm fine. You just startled me. I thought you were going to say you wanted to break up with me."

Hanako's eyes widen as her face goes pale, and she steps forward quickly, clasping her hands around one of mine. She shakes her head, sending her hair rippling back and forth over her shoulders and back.

Hanako

"No, I don't want that! But I've never done this before, and I don't know how to be your girlfriend. I n-never know if I'm doing things right. . . ."

Hisao

"Hanako."

I give her the best smile I can manage, though it can't hide the shaking in my knees, or that my palms are starting to sweat. I can't tell if she's convinced or not.

Hisao

"I don't know what I'm doing either. It's all right if we don't, we'll figure it out."

Hanako

"I know. But I haven't felt like this before. It's s-so new to me. And there are times when I think – when I th-think. . . ."

She trails off, and looks out across the distance again. I look down at our hands, and put mine over hers, so all our hands are clasped together. I can feel her scars beneath my palm.

All of her, I remember.

Hisao

"This is new to me too. I worry about losing you, about something happening, or it not working out. But Lilly and I talked about this, and. . . ."

She turns back to me, and waits. Looking in her eyes, I know what I need to say.

Hisao

"And all that really matters to me, right now, is you. I know we have to figure things out along the way, so we will."

Something occurs to me. I think back to the conversation I had with Lilly, and crack a smile.

Hisao

"And if we really need help, we'll talk to Akira, because she's the only person I know who's done this before."

Aside from Yuuko, I think, but something tells me I shouldn't go asking her for relationship advice. If Hanako or I told Yuuko everything, she'd probably pass out.

Hanako

"I . . . I think that's a good idea. She always told me I could talk to her about anything, if I needed to. She's a good friend."

And now Akira's going to know everything. Well, everyone else does, so why not? And it might be better for her to have something specific to tease us about, instead of just hinting. Who knows.

Hanako looks away again, then sighs.

Hanako

"She'll ask me about what my future plans are. She always does. Lilly does sometimes, but Akira's more . . . she's really trying to help, but I haven't thought much about it."

I consider this for a moment. Akira's grown-up enough that her asking Hanako about future plans makes sense. I squeeze Hanako's hand to get her attention.

Hisao

"Let's both talk to her, maybe this weekend. As long as she doesn't bring wine again, we could probably work some things out."

Hanako

"About the future, and . . . about us?"

She twines her fingers with mine, and I pull her into a hug. The wind blows stronger, but together like this, it doesn't seem to bother either of us.

Hisao

"Same thing. Let's give her a call tonight."