A/N Thanks for the reviews! I enjoy every single one of them :)
Chapter 13
He'd never seen her looking more beautiful than the moment she walked through the snow with her hands shoved in her new blue parka, her hair laying lightly on her shoulders. He knew where she was going—or coming, rather—as she climbed up the ladder and stood on the snowy sentry tower, her gaze drifting over him with a smirk lining her cheeks. "Well, are you just going to sit there and make me do all the work?"
Howl knew what he wanted the minute she'd spoken, her words like steam flowing from the best cup of jasmine tea. He desired her more than the world itself. He stood and wrapped his arms around her, cupping her cheeks and lowering his lips to hers. They were glazed with a bit of honey themselves as his fingers tangling in her loose locks. Their tongues mingled for moments before the ground below her shook. He paid no attention to it.
Her hand slowly began trailing down his chest before rising back up. Each time, though, her hand swooped lower and lower, until he hissed out in tight, pleasurable pain. "Korra," Her word came out like ice from his tongue as he nipped her bottom lip. She giggled in the midst of their passionate kiss, her hand continuing to reach a new low every time they took a breath.
The ground rumbled harder, until suddenly, a massive crack formed in the snow tower, splitting the two of them apart. Lava split in between them and he saw the panic filling her eyes. He had to get to her. He had to rescue her. He threw himself off of the platform and grabbed onto hers, only by his finger tips. The lava river grew higher as he struggled to climb up. Korra offered her hand to him, their fingertips grazing as he reached for it. Then the ground shook once more, and their fingers were ripped apart. "Howl!" She screamed as the he fell backwards.
Howl shot up in the bed, narrowly missing bumping his head on the bunk bed above him. His breath was shaky, his heart pounding in his ears. His fingers were vibrating intensely, and he buried his head into his hands. The nightmare had felt so real. He'd felt himself lose her, felt himself panic as she drifted away.
The thought of losing her had become the subject of many of his dreams as they furthered their relationship millimeter by millimeter. Ever since their first true kiss, he'd only gotten a single peck in. Wandering eyes would not find them together unless it was strictly business. He would not let them take her from him.
"Pst. Howl?" The door to the barracks opened and moonlight streamed in through the crack. A girlish face with cute ponytails caught his eye. His heartbeat quickened, only now it wasn't from fear. He pulled on his tunic as she slid into the barracks and onto his bed. She'd snuck in once or twice in the past few days and had been gone before the sun had even risen. Though it was costing the both of them to be exhausted, she never cared much for sleep anyways and he was too scared of losing her in his dreams to sleep.
The first time she had come had been embarrassing. There daylight sentries were asleep. His schedule had been screwed up from being injured and sick in respective distances from each other. She had been lucky that he was awake, reading by dim lantern-light. She'd crawled over him and sat next to him until her eyes nearly dropped with exhaustion. They had spent the night resting together. The next thing he noticed was that she was not in his bunk bed in the morning. At first, he'd thought he'd just imagined it.
The next time had been easier. It was just between shifts, so half the guards had been undressing when she'd slid into the room. She was hidden in between him and the wall and they had never even seen her. The guards had played their games, drank. "How do you deal with that when you're trying to sleep?" She had whispered, pressing her lips so close to his ear that he had shivered.
"You get used to it after a while." He'd explained, flipping the pages of a pointless romance novel. There was hardly any use for them now that he had his own story in the making. Still, whenever she was training or he was on duty, he carried a book with him. He felt almost empty without it.
Today was no different. She snuck in, climbed over him in the darkness, slid under the covers with him. All of the others had been snoring for a few hours after shift change. Howl, though, had hardly been able to sleep a wink. It was as if his brain knew she would come that it was plaguing him with horrible dreams to keep him awake. He was happy now that she was here, now that he could hold her and know she was safe from all of the dangers in the world when she was in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and smiled. He wished that there weren't any consequences for falling for her. If she hadn't been the Avatar, would it have been different?
Korra glanced up at him, watching him with interest. She hadn't been able to sleep. Though it was mid-spring, she kept imagining the crying winds of winter and the fearful snow piles of a blizzard. She didn't want to dream of the cold nothingness; she wanted to dream of him. She wanted to dream of the way he made her heart sing whenever they saw each other. Yet every time she closed her eyes, she saw the white face of death staring straight at her, its smirk wider than the sun.
She figured he would be awake reading. Instead, she had seen him with his eyes closed and her heart had fallen. She'd called to him and he instantly awoke. Her spirit soared and immediately felt comforted. He was her security blanket to keep her warm in the coldest of winters. He was something she had never thought she could have.
She placed his hand on his chest, yawning. Now she could sleep. There were a lot of things on her mind, like the need to talk to her mother about him, like the desire to find another book on that interesting section that she'd studied for days now. Though she loved Katara, her old master wasn't cracking on her knowledge of the section. Korra's lips parted again and she snuggled against him. She wanted to stay there forever, watching the light rise and fall of his chest.
But exhaustion seemed to like taking over. "Howl?" She whispered. He grunted quietly to let her know he was still there, still awake. Korra realized how tired he must have been. A long day of staring at nothing, probably not even sleep since his shift had changed only a few hours before. She felt bad for coming and bothering him. "Do… do you think we can go to the village soon? I want to talk to my mother."
"Hmm, sure." He mumbled, emitting a yawn. She would have snickered if she wasn't so exhausted. "We'll go tomorrow." He whispered, pressing his nose to her jasmine scented hair. His nightmare came rushing back all too fast and he tightened his grip around her waist. He wouldn't let them take her. His eyes grew heavy and he tried to stay awake for her. Only seconds later did he hear her soft snores and felt himself give in.
In the morning, she was gone. It wasn't as if he had expected her to stay anyways; she fled like a lemur being chased by an armadillo-rabbit. Though he adored her company, he was glad that she respected the importance of his job. He was thankful that she knew when it was too much for him to handle.
He remembered his promise to her and dressed in his full uniform quickly. He noticed his helmet missing and rolled his eyes. Of course she had it; she wanted it so that he couldn't wear it so that she could play with his hair. He grabbed his long sword and wallet, tucking them both safe before opening the door and into the early morning sunlight.
He absolutely adored the mornings, even though Korra hated them. Though he didn't like the brightness of the sun on the snow at such early hours, he liked the memories he had of the morning. His father used to carry him downstairs and lay him on the couch while his mother made the best sausage patties and flameo-hotcakes for breakfast. He was seven when he father had started to call him downstairs instead of bringing him and he'd never really questioned it. His father loved him, but wanted an athlete instead of a bookworm.
The memories of his family brought an unusual sadness to his heart and his used his fingers to count the months and years. Three years and two months since their tragic death. He shook his head and pushed himself to walk to her room. He knocked on the window twice, glancing around to make sure no one caught him. He spotted Korra stirring in her bed and glance up at him, her blue eyes clouded with exhaustion. He gave her a warm smile and chuckled when she rolled over and buried her head under her pillow.
"Ten minutes, Korra." He said, walking out of the alley and towards the White Lotus leaders' compartments. He found the three of them drinking tea while the compound began to fill with life. He bowed his head to them before standing in attention. "Avatar Korra requests permission to visit her mother."
"Will you accompany her, soldier?" The chubby one asked. Howl dipped his head once. The three of them conversed silently with their eyes; a technique he wanted to learn. That way he could tell Korra he loved her without having to say it in front of others. He could just give her a look and she would know what he was talking about. "Very well. Try and have her home by midnight."
"Of course, sir." He dipped his head once more before stepping off of the porch and heading towards Naga's stable. Frankly, he hated those men. They chose everything Korra lived by, was forced to live by. They chose whether he had a job or not. "Hey girl," He said, pushing thoughts of hate away and petting the massive polar bear-dog. He easily picked up the creature's saddle and placed it on her with ease. "How are you this morning?"
"Doing okay, actually." He jumped and shook his head, glancing over his shoulder. She wore the same blue parka he'd seen in his nightmare. It hit him hard in the stomach as he realized it. "Except for the fact that the mornings are evil."
"Yes, well." He murmured, glancing around and finding them completely alone (mind the pet). He cupped her cheek gently and smiled, forgetting just how captivating her eyes were. His stomach twisted as he realized just how much feeling surged through his body whenever she was this close to him.
Korra giggled under her breath and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his nose. She knew he had been expecting more than that when she saw his scowl. "Come on." She said, climbing onto her animal guide. He slid on behind her and she grinned softly when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. "Go, Naga."
He didn't let her go until they reached the village that was already bustling with life. Howl tied Naga to a frozen fence post as Korra disappeared into her mother's igloo. Curiosity flooded his mind—it came with his love for reading—but he knew better than to follow her. She probably wanted to talk about girl stuff that he would never understand. Instead, he patted Naga's head. "If she comes looking for me, point her out in my direction, will you?" The dog barked playfully, licking his cheek. He laughed, shaking his head. Now if Korra wanted to kiss him, he'd have a certain puppy smell on him.
He started down through the markets. Today, though, he caught no sight of a certain stall. He'd managed to make a mental note the last time he'd been there, positive that he was in the right place. Maybe she'd run out of money. Maybe she'd retired. He sighed softly and continued down the road.
Meanwhile, Korra sat eating the best fish dumplings her mother had ever made. "I worry that they aren't feeding you well enough." Senna said, taking her seat beside her daughter and kissing her forehead. "You're eating, no?"
"I'm eating fine." She smiled at her mother's simple worry. "But eating lately hasn't been on my mind."
"Do tell." Her mother inquired, propping herself on her fists. "Is it a boy?" She teased. Korra felt her face grow hot. There was nothing she could hide from her mother. "Is it the cute boy who came here with you?"
Her mother's knack for knowing when there were secrets to be spilled was a trait Korra wished she had inherited. She sat down and got comfortable and sort of just… explained their entire relationship. How he had been her first true friend, how he made her feel truly needed in the world as a person and not just an Avatar. How he made her giddy whenever he was near and the way he had risked himself to protect her and not just because he was a guard. She explained the way she felt whenever they were kissing, whenever they were close to each other. Her mother listened patiently through it all; her head tilted slightly, the sweetest, most understanding smile lingering on her lips. Korra almost thought she looked far off in her own fantasy. "I don't quite understand everything that should happen between a guy and a girl, Mom. I mean, no one exactly taught me."
Her mother sighed softly. "Which is why I wish they'd allowed you to stay home and learn some of the things I knew you would need a mother for. Like cooking, or love-making."
Korra froze at the thought. That's what her mother called it? It sounded so much sweeter than the other thing that the book called it. She crossed her legs and leaned against the wall, unsure of how to reply. Thankfully, Senna continued. "There's a time when a woman needs to learn how to please a man, Korra. Sixteen is the proper age to learn it, but I think waiting would make it much more special."
"Did you and Dad make love before you were married?" She asked, curiously watching as her mother paled ever so slightly. She knew the answer to that question before it was half way out of her mouth. Still, she wanted to hear it. She wanted to know that they had and that if they thought it had been okay, then it must have been okay. After all, she had turned out fine and her parents loved each other.
"We waited until we were sure we were ready. We waited until we knew we loved each other and wanted to express the utmost loving thing between two people." Senna's cheeks turned to pink ever so slightly. "Do you love that boy, Korra?"
Korra frowned. "His name is Howl." She defended, but the questioned lingered in her head. Did she? She knew she liked him a lot, that he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She knew that she wouldn't be much of a person without his guidance. "I don't know." She whispered, rubbing her arm.
Her mother pondered her answer for a minute before her finger raised, as if a flame had popped above her head. She stood from the ground table and walked to the other room, returning with a massive book. The cover on it was two people in old ink drawings, hand in hand. It was one of the first editions in hard cover. The edges of the book were damaged slightly. "You don't understand how many times I spent reading that the day I got it. Your grandmother gave it to me. I'd forgotten I even had it." She stuffed it into a sealskin bag and smiled.
Korra folded her hands together. "What should I do, Mom?" Her mind was full of confusion. She wasn't sure of what love exactly was; she loved her parents, Naga, and Katara, but they were family. She wanted to know what it was in her mother's eyes. "How will I know if I love him?"
Senna frowned. "You feel this strongly about him, don't you?" She questioned. Korra nodded enthusiastically. Senna sighed. "If you really love him, you'll know. There's just something that goes off in your head. For me, I knew I loved your father when I couldn't stand to see him with another woman." Well that wouldn't work. Howl was never around any other females. Her mother touched her shoulder warmly. "For you, who knows? Maybe you won't be able to see him scared or sad or lonely. You'll feel it in the pit of your stomach. You'll feel it in the back of your head. You will know, my love."
A subtle knock came at the door. Korra's heart thudded as her mother stood and answered it, and Howl's uniform came into view. She smiled warmly, shaking her head. She still had his helmet, hidden in her closet back in the compound. "Is Korra all right?" His voice was strained, as if nervous. It touched her in places she knew shouldn't be touched. It was as if they were alone again in his bed the previous night, his whispers warm against her ear.
Her mother said something while she was absorbed in her memory. She never wanted to be without that voice. Was that love? Or was it more like longing? She shook her head and took another fish dumpling from the plate. By now they were starting to cool. Then the door shut quietly and Senna returned to her place. "Oh, Korra, honey." She said with a smile. "He's definitely a keeper."
The hours passed by as she continued to talk to her mother about the topic. Her father came home to them in laughing fits. He kissed his wife on the head and saw the same look she'd seen in her mother's eyes all day; happiness. Not more than ten minutes after he had been home, Howl knocked on the door again. Senna had gotten it and his amber gaze had caught hers. "It's time to go, Korra." He whispered. Korra nodded, grabbing the bag her mother had stuffed the book into. She hugged her father and thanked her mother for everything before hurrying outside and seeing Howl already ready with Naga.
She took his hand as he offered it to her and let him pull her onto her beloved animal. She smiled at him and he returned it. They waved at her parents as they rode out of the town. As soon as the open tundra was ahead of them, she leaned back and kissed him. "I missed you." She said, leaning against him. Howl tightened his grip around her waist briefly as he kissed the top of her head.
"I missed you too." He whispered softly, thankful that they had time to themselves. He really had missed her. He couldn't even search the bookstore without thinking about her safety. In the end, he'd just left and sat outside with Naga, waiting for Korra to be ready to go, or until it had been time to leave. The conversation fell to a lull and he felt scared that he was doing something wrong, so he blurted the first thing that came to mind."How was your mother?" He asked, running his fingers through her hair.
"She was good." Korra remembered the words her mother had said. You'll know you love him. You'll feel it in the pit of your stomach. You'll fell it in the back of your head. She felt something in the back of her head but wasn't sure whether it was adoration, lots of liking, or full love. Her mother had helped answer some of her biggest questions but had caused a lot more to take their place. "I'm sorry if you sat around and waited all day."
Howl smiled weakly. She was concerned? Though he'd seen it a few times, it wasn't a common look on her. "I'm fine, Korra." He said, spotting the camp walls come into view. He swallowed down a sigh. There wasn't enough time in the world that he could be with her alone. Not without fear of being caught. He let go of her waist as soon as she signaled the sentries.
They both unsaddled Naga when they reached her stable. She felt his hand against her back, gently guiding her back to her room. Though it may look normal to the other guards—like he caught her trying to sneak out—it was sensual touch that sent spine tingling shivers down her. They reached her room moments after arriving. Howl didn't want to raise any more suspicion tonight, and he was exhausted. He needed a full night of sleep without any nightmares. Without any more horrible dreams of Korra being torn away from him. He needed to get over his worst fear. But how? "Howl?" Korra asked, tilting his chin to her. He bit his lip, smiling as he stepped towards her. He didn't want to have to be scared anymore. He wanted to be tender with her, wanted to take it slow.
"Sleep well, Korra." He whispered, cupping her cheek gently and placing his lips gingerly against hers. He felt her fingers tangle in his hair, gripping as he deepened the kiss. His fingers locked together around her waist as their lips parted and she leaned against him, her head resting in the crook of his neck. Gently, he led her to her bed and gave her a gentle peck on the forehead, before he walked and opened the door.
Korra sat on her bed as her eyes dropped, too lazy to change out of clothes. Her eyes caught on a silver glint and she smiled. He still hadn't found that helmet.