Chapter Thirteen – Spinning Webs
Severus Snape had never been a romantic man, but his thoughts always seemed to turn to Chessie ever since she'd helped him get control of the muggle situations he'd found himself in. He had to admit her brown hair was very opposite to his own and was smooth and silky without the slightest sign of oils or dandruff. Her slight frame was very much like Lily's, only with slight different curves. Her eyes were a chocolate brown like her hair, and better yet she was good with children, while he wasn't at all. She was good at transfiguration and healing arts, while he was a Potions Master and was better with hexes or jinxes. She was hyper and open, while he was cold and reserved. He was more suited for the wizard world and its customs, while she was more suited for the Muggle world and its customs. Between the two of them, they were very much knowledgeable, and she never once treated him like dirt or anything of the like, and he likewise.
Chessie had taken to visiting him on an almost on a daily basis, much to his dismay, and he'd even seen her parents come to her house to see how she'd settled in. Much to their surprise, he's just returned from shopping and had the three children helping him bring the groceries in. He looked over, and nodded curtly before passing the next set of bags over to Dudley, who turned them over to Kiru, who turned them over to Harry. As the last of the bags was finally unloaded, Chessie dashed up to him.
"I was wondering if you could come meet my parents properly," she said quickly, acting like a small child from what Snape could see as a front. He sighed, motioned for Harry to follow him, and the two headed over to Chessie's house for the first time.
"Before you enter, Mr. Snape," Junketsu Hitoi said with a gleam in his eyes. "You have to answer a riddle."
"What do we look like, people sorted into Ravenclaw?" Snape retorted, but folded his arms and remained still.
"It cannot be seen; cannot be felt; cannot be heard; cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars, and under hills, and empty holes it fills. It comes first then follows after. Ends life, kills laughter," the old man said.
"The answer is dark," Snape grinned, having already heard it, but continued the song. "The Dark."
"Although that last part sounds like his potions dungeon in the school," Harry piped up, and the men had to suppress laughter. The old man moved out of the way, and Snape stepped into the threshold.
"Have the two of you ever seen the movie The Hobbit?" Junketsu asked, and Harry and Snape nodded. "Really? What were your favorite songs off of it?"
"Old Fat Spider," Harry grinned. "It reminds me of when I had to get away from one of the giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest. Aragog, they called him."
"Only you," Snape glared. "That one was my second favorite, but only because it was won over by Gollum's Riddle."
"So that's how you knew the answer," Junketsu laughed. "Only those with the soundtrack would get the riddle. I must admit, Snape-san, I didn't expect you to get it right. I've tried that riddle on more than a dozen men, and none of them got it right, thank goodness. You see, they were all stricken and trying to get into the house to date Chessie, but for some strange she kept saying no since they weren't wearing green robes. I didn't fully understand, so I came up with the riddle, and she explained the four colors of the houses. You're wearing black, but you were in Slytherin, yes?"
Snape nodded, and Chessie's mother openly laughed at her husband's stupidity. Snape shook his head, and interrogated by Chessie's dad while Harry had begun talking to Chessie's mom. Within hours, the old man was grinning, and the Potions master was tired. The old man knew the reason, so he nodded and let the two raven-haired Hogwarts attendees leave, much to Harry's dismay and Snape's extremely well hidden delight. Chessie followed them over, ensuring that Snape got the medicine he needed, and was startled by a raven tapping on one of the windows. She relaxed when Snape let it in, however, and was startled to find that Snape was upset at what the letter said.
"Snape-san, what's wrong?" Chessie asked tentatively, and the wizard sighed, pulling on his raven locks to cover a lie. "Oh, you, too? I used to have oily hair that would get extremely oily no matter how often I washed it, and every time I got the oil out in the shower it was back within hours."
"But, that makes no sense," Snape snapped. "How do you suddenly get rid of the oils in your body? It's physically impossible to do so!"
"Not necessarily. I wash my hair daily with a special potion I invented one summer," she grinned. "It took me until my seventh year to figure it out and get it just right, but I did it. You wash your hair with it, and presto, no oil for twenty-four hours, no signs of dandruff, and it comes out so clean and silky that it would startle anyone! Even steam from potions won't affect your hair!"
"I never would have guessed," Snape said shaking his head. "You'll have to show me how to make it sometime. I'd like to see the looks on the students' faces when I walk into class and don't have oily hair. They'll be shitting bricks those first few days unless they're first years."
"Or," Chessie grinned. "You could start it in the middle of the year right before Christmas break. That'll get them all crapping bricks!"
"You vile woman," Snape grinned. "I love it, and I will most certainly do so!"
About a week before the term started, the two were tucked away by a few aurors, with Harry and Kiru as well, both dressed in dress robes. Snape's were a dark purple and almost black, much to everyone's shock, while Chessie's were a pastel pink. Harry and Kiru knew to leave the two alone in Chessie's home, and they'd even gotten Lupin to keep an eye on Dudley for them so he couldn't crash the wedding. That had been one of Snape's biggest issues was that Dudley and Lupin weren't there, so they decided to kill two birds with one stone. There were a few of Snape's favorite students there, as well as a few that Chessie had invited, but there were equal numbers of both from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Only two of the other Professors were there as well (McGonagall and Dumbledore), and were quite shocked to see Harry at the wedding since it was common knowledge that he and the Potions Master detested each other. The wedding vows were soon exchanged, after much impatience from Snape and Chessie.
"I'll be damned if I let Hogwarts think they get rid of having a Professor Snape," Chessie grinned evilly, a sadistic gleam in her eyes. "You know, the hat said I had equal traits for Slytherin and Gryffindor, and told me to choose one. I had an acquaintance in Gryffindor, and a fear of Slytherin since it was the house the Dark Lord came from."
"Ah hah," Snape smirked as they kissed. "That explains the lunacy I love so much. Speaking of which, don't you dare egg the Weasley twins on if you start teaching."
"I could take over History of Magic," she taunted, and he had to force himself to keep from laughing out loud. Too many students were in front of him, and it was bad enough that his hair was clean, albeit he'd only used a few drops, so it was now getting quite oily again.
"And I'm sure that would scare the crap out of a number of students," he chuckled as they walked down the aisle together.
He slipped Harry and Kiru a note that they'd be over at Chessie's house if they desperately needed some help, but were only to ask for help if Death Eaters were involved. Lupin would babysit them for the next thirty-six hours, not that they'd mind since they'd been on good terms with him. They grinned and apparated into Chessie's backyard, startling her parents, who had let themselves in since she didn't answer her phone. They took one look at the couple, saw the outfits and rings, and immediately understood what had happened behind their backs.
One look from Snape, however, and the two Muggles thought and left for the wiser to give the couple some privacy and alone time. The newlyweds grinned widely, although they had a lot to talk about. She explained how she'd thought he was her potions teacher, the one who'd gone from substitute for Slughorn, to full time teacher that next school year. He'd been the reason she quit potions as well as the fact that it was her weakest area. He explained how he'd vaguely remembered teaching her, but how he'd been terrified and aloof that year since they were rounding up Death Eaters and he'd been one as a spy for Dumbledore. She'd busted a lung when he told her, but calmed down once he'd forced her to use legimency on him to prove it.
Naturally, the ministry of magic sent an owl over to their house, containing a letter to Chessie. He glared at it, and she read it quickly before jumping up with joy happily. She raced over and tackled him, something he had somehow become accustomed to with Sarabella and Kiru, squealing "I got it! I got it! I got the job!"
He grinned, seizing his opportunity to put his hands on her hips, and she squeaked in alarm, putting her hands on his. Within minutes, she had forced him into a tongue war, which he was winning by gagging her profusely and repeatedly. Her hands began to wander, his own body becoming seized by what he detested most about teenagers. He sighed at the ludicrousness of it all, inching his hands down her gown, slowly and sneakily undoing the buttons while protecting his.
"Oh, no you don't," she scolded as he got to her waistline. "Not without compensation, Severus. If I go shirtless, you go shirtless. Got it?"
"Hm, I was thinking a little more long term than that," he whispered.
"Oh. Oh. Well, if that's how you want to be, one will remove all the clothes, the other leads," she grinned happily.
"Then I am at your mercy," Snape grinned as he led her to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake.
He cracked his eyes open the next day groggily, Chessie asleep with her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He was startled to find his own hand around her waist, the other on her upper back. It all came rushing back within moments, though, and he smiled triumphantly. He'd gotten married, although not to the first two women of his choice, but this one overshadowed them now. One had betrayed him, the other had gone insane, but this one was still pure – almost – and all his. He frowned, not wanting to lose her to somebody else.
He flinched, then slightly, ever so slightly, he moved out from under her and placed her on the bed gently. He sighed in relief when she didn't awake and ran to the bathroom for relief. She ran in just as he finished, and he stepped back to let her relieve herself. He smirked, and she looked down to find herself a complete mess. She glared back up at him accusatory in her eyes, but with an impish look on her face.
Snape held his hand out and summoned his underwear and Muggle attire into the bedroom to hide them under the pillows. He did likewise with Chessie's, holding the bra out at arm's length.
"Oh, Severus," she sang as she went back into the bedroom. "It's my turn, now."
Heaven help me, he pled silently.
"Chessie?" her male cousin called into the house a few hours later. "Chess, I know you're mad at me, but I'm sorry about the blackmail, okay? I lied, I only did it so you'd start looking for a husband. I don't want you dying alone like that Snape teacher we had for Potions, okay?"
"Should we tell him?" Chessie whispered, just barely clothed.
"Hell no," Severus whispered back. "I want to see the look on his face. Quick, under the blankets, and pretend to be asleep."
"Oh," Chessie whispered and obeyed, positioning themselves exactly as they'd woken up that morning. Snape buried his face in her hair to hide the smirk he had on his face. And, of course, Chessie buried herself in his blankets.
"Oh my god," her cousin murmured as he opened the door quietly. "Chessie, what the hell have you done?"
"Hmm, Severus," Chessie murmured, cuddling closer into his chest. He moved slightly to further bury his grin in her hair, moving his left arm slightly. It was amazing to them how quickly their hormones could rise and die down.
"Oh my god. Oh, Kami, this is illegal," the man muttered, closing the door silently. The Snape duo immediately grinned, pulling out their muggle attire and yanking it on furiously.
"Did you enjoy that, Mrs. Snape?" the potions master grinned, and Chessie jumped.
"I guess it'll take a while to get used to that," she whispered. "Come on, we've got to stop him, before he gets you arrested."
"Lead the way," he grinned, and the two raced downstairs, leaping over the banister. Chessie's cousin's eyes widened when he saw the two alert and awake, but most importantly not aroused, although they most certainly smelled like it.
"Hello, Professor," the man grinned sheepishly. "I hadn't heard from my cousin in a few weeks, and I got kind of worried since she usually calls my brother or me, so I thought I'd come check on her."
"By barging into my/her house?" the two snapped, then looked at each other.
"Well, I guess it would make it our house, wouldn't it?" she asked quizzically, and the ex-death eater rolled his eyes. "Either way, that's breaking and entering! And I'm your cousin for Kami's sake! You're supposed to respect my privacy!"
"Speaking of things that are meant to be respected," Severus growled. "Rules and laws are as well, no matter what country you are in, must also be respected, Ohaka."
"Sure, like teachers are, too," he retorted. "Last I checked, students and teachers are supposed to respect each other, not sleep with each other."
"Ah, but you're forgetting – there are ways around that law," Snape taunted. "For one, she is no longer my student. Second, we are equals under the law as adult witch and wizard. And third, you cannot ban a husband from sleeping with his wife."
"Wait – what?" Ohaku questioned in disbelief. His ears had registered it, but his brain obviously hadn't. Chessie and Severus smirked, trying to keep from laughing and cussing at the same time. "Married?"
"Yes, Ohaku, you idiot cousin," Chessie snapped. "What part of 'husband and wife' did you not understand?"
"But- he said – mom said – how-when?" he sputtered confused.
"Yesterday afternoon," Chessie said angrily. "You'd all have known if you idiots hadn't cornered and blackmailed me into it. But, I will admit, I'm glad you guys did. It helped me realize who the love of my life really was."
"Yeah, instead of that bastard Sirius Black," Ohaku sneered. "He got what he deserved to go into Azkaban."
"Without a trial," Severus said coldly. As much as he hated the man, he didn't want him to end up like Frank and Alice Longbottom. He wouldn't with that upon anyone but the true Death Eaters who were enjoying torturing people and destroying homes like that.
"Severus, what time is it?" Chessie asked confused suddenly, and Snape took a look at a clock he had hung at the top of the stairs. "Please tell me it's not noon."
"Ten in the morning," he assured, and she panicked as she raced up the stairs to get in the shower and change clothes. "Blast it, Chessie, stop panicking. You won't be late if you use the Floo Network. Tch, bakamono."
"If it's alright, Professor," Ohaku said sheepishly. "I'll keep quiet if you will."
"Oh, no you don't," Snape glared. "I'm not through with you yet, boy."
The man's eyes widened, and he turned tail as Severus Snape obliviated the scene from the boy's mind. the young adult collapsed, and Snape hefted him onto the front door, conjuring a flask and putting the boy's memory of breaking in into the tiny glasswork and corking it. He smirked widely – revenge was oh so very sweet. He could only hope that Remus' babysitting went as smoothly as his day had been so far, if not smoother.