The Greatest Secret

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly

A/N: As you know, thoughts are in italics and speech is in regular font.

A/N: This chapter has a song in it, I don't own the song. No, Josh Turner does. There are also two monologues, neither of which I own!

Chapter 114 (Reunion: Puckett Performers)

The four made their way into the cafeteria and found everyone finishing up. Emily walked over to them and raised her eyebrow, she had wondered where they went to, but figured they probably just wanted to escape all the drama for a little bit. "So, did you four have fun?" Emily asked. "What were you up to?" Jonah and Valerie looked to their friends and smirked. Sam blushed like mad and Freddie simply shrugged his shoulders.

"We were on a walk," Freddie replied. "It got a little hot out, so we decided to come back inside." Emily's eyebrows rose and Jonah snickered. Sam narrowed her eyes and stared at him, debating whether or not she should hit him. Jonah must have read her mind, because he stopped snickering and looked away. "We just needed to relax and get away from the family for a bit. Did we miss anything important?" Emily rubbed her chin and looked over at the front of the room, nothing had really happened except for a few games.

"Nah, games were played and prizes given away…but that was about it. You're in time though, the Pucketts are going to do some performing…I believe Greg and Garth." Sam's eyebrows rose and a smile formed on her lips, it would be nice to see what her cousins were going to do. "Come on, come sit with us." The group followed Emily to her table and sat down. Robert, Spencer, Sasha, Lisa, Elaine, Veronica, and Angeline were all there as well. Sam looked over to see Greg and Garth talking to a little four year old girl. It was Stephanie, the same baby that Freddie couldn't get to laugh so long ago. Nowadays, he could get her to laugh whenever. It seemed that Greg and Garth were having some trouble with it, though.

"Hey Freddie, I think my cousins are trying to get Stephanie to laugh, and they're failing miserably," Sam joked. Freddie looked over at the three and chuckled. Sam was right, they were failing miserably. Greg was making some sort of joke or telling some kind of story while Garth flailed his arms and performed other movements. Stephanie merely stared at the two with a blank expression on her face.

"Yeah, they seem to need some help," Freddie said while standing up. He took a pie and walked over. "Hey Greg, Garth, Stephanie, how are you three?"

"This girl won't laugh!" Garth said with a quick voice. "We're doing everything in our power, but she just doesn't laugh." Freddie chuckled and rubbed his chin, wondering which one was going on first.

"Okay, so which of you two will be performing first and which second?"

"Actually I'm going up second," Garth said while raising his hand.

"Okay, and you want Stephanie to laugh?" Garth nodded and Freddie turned to Stephanie. "Stephanie, watch this." The little girl blinked and smiled as Freddie splat Garth in the face with the pie. Sam quickly brought her hand to her mouth and hid a smile as Stephanie began laughing. Garth frowned and sighed as Greg started to laugh.

"Well, I'd better wash this off…" Greg looked over and grinned, it was time for him to go up and perform. Garth walked to the bathroom as Greg hurried to the front. Freddie sat next to Sam and felt her nudge him in the side.

"Why did you do that?" Sam asked with a small smirk.

"I just wanted to help." Sam smiled and slowly shook her head. Greg tapped the microphone to see if it was working. It boomed with his tap, so that meant he was good to go. Everyone looked over and Greg smiled happily.

"Hello, I am Greg Puckett, cousin to Sam Puckett. My cousin Garth will sing for you after I'm done, but right now he's in the process of wiping pie off his face…but hey! He got Stephanie laughing!" Some of the relatives laughed at the statement, others chuckled. "Anyway, I'm going to play the flute for you. The first song is Hava Netze Bamochol, which hails from the Spirit Flute songs…Hava Netze Bamochol means Let us go to the dance. After that is Cantos de Floresta, meaning songs from the Brazilian rainforest. Then I'll perform One night in Hilo. These three songs are on the Spirit Flutes CD which my sister's selling alongside her paintings for everyone. Please enjoy!" Sam smiled and leaned back as her cousin began to play the flute. He did rather well, hitting each note perfectly. He must have practiced quite a bit. It was commendable, really. His songs were so relaxing and so perfect.

It seemed everyone with any tension on their shoulders was just eased into calmness and relaxation when he played his music. He was doing splendid, everyone would want to buy the CD he spoke of. When he finished with his song, the room erupted into a large applause. He thanked them and then waited as Garth walked up to the microphone.

"Hi, I'm Garth…I'd like to thank Freddie for slamming pie into my face…" Garth narrowed his eyes and stared at the wide grinning Freddie. Greg laughed and walked off to his seat. "Anyway, I'm going to sing some songs that I think you'll enjoy. I'd like to start off with a personal request from…the pie thrower." Freddie smirked and held up a thumb. Sam couldn't help but to laugh, yet Garth only rolled his eyes. This is a request for his beautiful and wonderful love…my cousin, Sam!" Sam gasped softly, she had to hear this now. "The song is called Firecracker, sung by Josh Turner."

The music began to play and Freddie draped his arm around Sam's waist. She smiled and started to tap her foot with the music. "When I look into her eyes, it ain't no surprise. Sparks start a flying like the 4th of July! She gets me so hot my heart starts a pumping. When we get to Kissing, there ain't no stopping." Sam blushed and Freddie smirked, that was pretty much the truth. Already, the song seemed to work. Sam playfully smacked Freddie, but it only caused him to kiss her on the cheek. "When it comes to love, she ain't no slacker. My little darling is a firecracker!"

"When I light the fuse, I gotta get back quick. You gotta be careful with a dynamite stick. Son of a gun, she's fun to handle and she packs a punch like a roman candle!" Sam was amazed, Freddie picked a song that she happened to love and her cousin was singing it so well. As her eyes drifted to Freddie's family, she found they all seemed to be enjoying it themselves. "She's a pack of black cats in a red paper wrapper. My little darling is a firecracker."

Garth ran through the chorus the second time and started on the second verse. "We might not ought to take a roll in the hay, because we'll burn the barn down one of these days! We're a match made in heaven and it ain't no joke, but I'd sure hate to see it go up in smoke!" Sam giggled at that line because it was probably true. When she and Freddie got to kissing, things got heated. "We got a good thing going and it feels so right! She's a firecracker, she's the light of my life!" Sam kissed Freddie on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, she was so happy that Freddie requested a song, even though she hadn't wanted anyone to request Garth to sing something, just that he'd sing what he wanted.

"She goes off with a great big bang! Boy I tell ya, it's a beautiful thing. When she takes off you better hang on tight, she's a blonde bottle rocket in the middle of the night! When she makes love, she's a heart attacker, my little darling is a firecracker!" Leave it to Freddie to choose a song that will make her remember their first night making love. She blushed and playfully shoved Freddie. He on the other hand was loving her reactions to the song.

When Garth finished that song, he decided to run through some other songs. He sang patriotic, he sang rock, he sang country and so much more. Everyone in the reunion was having a blast. This was the third relative of Sam's to make her feel proud and extremely glad that they came along. When Garth finished, it was Sam's cousin Venus and aunt Violet that came up next. "Hello, I'm Sam Puckett's aunt Violet and this is my daughter Venus. We've memorized two monologues that we wish to share with you. My monologue is called from the play by Alice Gerstenburg, it is called Fourteen. I will begin…" Violet walked over to an empty table and started muttering as Venus walked over to her.

"Mom, I want to marry this man, Oliver. I am in love with him," Venus said with a determined nod. Violet appeared to become even more greatly annoyed as she turned to her daughter and put her hands to her hips. The rag in her hand dangled against her thigh.

"I don't have the time to deal with this my dear…"

"Why mom? What's going on? You seemed to have so much fun entertaining the people with the games tonight…you were in such a good mood." Violet scoffed and threw her hands into the air.

"Please! I shall go mad!" Venus raised her eyebrow as Violet threw her rag to the ground. "I'll never entertain again. Never, never…people ought to know whether they're coming or not, but they accept and regret and regret and accept, they drive me wild!" Venus stepped back as Violet began stomping on the rag now lying on the ground. "This is my last dinner party, my very last. A fiasco, an utter fiasco! A haphazard crowd-hurried together-when I had planned everything so beautifully! And how shall I seat them? How shall I seat them?" Violet positioned her hands in the air and pointed her fingers forward. "If I put Mr. Tupper here and Mrs. Conley there, then Mrs. Tupper has to sit next to her husband and if I want Mr. Morgan there…Oh! It's impossible! I might as well put their names in a hat and draw them out at random! Never again! I'm through!" Venus chuckled and put up her hand to say something, but she couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"Through with society, with parties, with friends, I wipe my slate clean! They'll miss my entertainments! They'll wish they had been more considerate!" Venus gave a sigh and held her arms out as her mother crossed her arms. "After this, I'm going to live for myself! I'm going to be selfish and hard! And unsociable and drink my liquor myself instead of offering it gratis to the whole town!" Venus sighed once more and watched as Violet picked up the rag and walked to a sink. "I'm through, and through with men like Oliver Farnsworth!" Venus's face fell and she held up a finger to try and interrupt, once more, she failed.

"I don't care how rich they are! How influential they are, how important they are! They're nothing without courtesy and consideration. 'Business' 'off on train' 'didn't want to come'" Venus rolled her eyes and Violet stared at her daughter. "he didn't want to meet a sweet and pretty girl, didn't want to marry her." She poked her finger into the air at Venus, causing her to jump back. She then began shaking her finger. "Well he's not good enough for you! Don't you marry him! Don't you dare marry him! I won't let you marry him! Do you hear? If you tried to elope or anything like that, I'd break it off. Yes, I would! Oliver Farnsworth will never get recognition from me! He is beneath my notice! I HATE Oliver Farnsworth!"

"But MOM!"

"No buts! End of conversation!" Venus sighed and the two moved over to the microphone. The family applauded and Venus stepped forward.

"Now my monologue is Martha's monologue in the play Charge by Eric Kaiser." Venus cleared her throat and stepped forward. She sighed in a slight dramatic tone and began. "In the beginning, I am mean and greedy and selfish. This is symbolized by three things." Venus held up three fingers and brought one down. "A: There is a half-finished sculpture of an angel in my garage." She brought down a second finger. "B: There is a hungry little boy that sleeps on my doorstep every night that I call the police on!" Sam chuckled and Venus brought down her third finger. "And C: I have a dying father that I haven't talked to in years! Then one day, I see the error of my ways!" Venus shot her hands in an arc form in the air. "I don't know how, I don't know! But I see it! Then…" Venus paused for a moment and gave a tiny smile as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest.

"The song comes on!" She held out her arms and opened her mouth. "And in the three minute duration of this song, I make all of the changes I need to in my life! They are symbolized by…" Once more she held up her fist as though she were shaking it. She brought up one finger. "A: I finish the angel sculpture in my garage, and incidentally it is a masterpiece." She brought up her second finger. "B: I feed the little hungry boy on the porch, I bring him in the home and incidentally he becomes a senator and loves me. And finally!" She brought up her third finger. "C: I call my father and tears stream from our eyes as we tell each other we love one another, and incidentally moments later he dies…but I tell him in time." She nodded and brought her hands on. "And them moments later all is right with the world and this is symbolized by the ambient light that my soul generates…" She clasped her hands together and then began to dramatically act as if she were choking up. She wiped her eyes and shook her head. "Excuse me, excuse me. It's just so dramatic! I do all that in the duration of a three minute song! It frustrates me so that I can't change like that. It is amazing how the people whose stories are told by movies, during the duration of one song, can switch their whole life around. I want a dramatic life like that!"

Venus and Violet both bowed as their audience stopped laughing and began to applaud. As time went on, more monologues and plays were performed for the entertainment of the Davidson family. Hugh and Susie performed a short skit for seniors. Buzz, Maggie and Morris did a play that caused everyone to erupt with laughter. Leon actually recited a monologue, it was awesome. In the end, Sam was very proud of her family, they hadn't done one thing wrong yet. They were, as Freddie said, honestly trying to make sure everything ran smoothly for Sam.

Not long after, all of the spouses were being introduced to the family. Sasha was accepted, Robert had been accepted, Ryan had been accepted, and Sam had been accepted. Each spouse had done something. Robert gave a military salute, basically. Sasha had reviewed certain games and gave jokes and commentary. Ryan had learned some sort of dance and danced with Amanda. Now, it was Sam's turn. She was nervous, but she felt she could give her presentation perfectly. She swallowed hard and left her seat, taking all her papers and items with her.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I had fun writing it. Took me forever to find two good monologues, and I'm still not sure Violet's was all that good. Next chapter is Sam's presentation, I'm sure you're going to enjoy it.