Title: Promises

Summary: "At what point did you realise that all of our memories and all of our tears didn't mean as much as being Sam's princess?"

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is produced without profit.

Characters: Leah/Emily

Genre: Family/Hurt/Betrayal

Rating: General

Warnings: ~

Status: Completed.

Archiving: Please PM me

Inspirations/Dedications:

Author's Notes: Part of the Your Gift, Our Curse series.

Promises

I remember when we were young. We would spend hours playing and laughing, over nothing important really. Do you remember that time my Mom and Dad had an argument and we stayed with you and you parents for nearly a month. I should have been upset, but I think in my heart I knew they would get back together, so all I felt was excitement. You and I could spend all day together laughing and playing.

You were a few years older than me, and we were related, so that was enough for me to tell everybody that you were my big sister. We had so much fun, didn't we? Making pacts, vowing that it would always be the two of us. We were gonna be sisters forever, you and me.

I probably never told you this but I admired how different you were from me. You were quiet and kind, where I was boisterous and stubborn. People fawned over my pretty face and hair but I could see a different kind of beauty in you, even if others didn't really notice.

Even when we went back home, our bond couldn't be severed. As the years went by, we visited each other less and less but nothing changed. We switched from laughing in the backyard to laughing over the phone. You were still my best friend. My only sister. I didn't think anything could come between us.

I was thirteen when Sam asked me to go watch a movie with him. My stomach flipped and fluttered as I tried to play it cool and when it was over only one thought crossed my mind. Telling you. We talked for hours as I gave you a play by play and you tried to help me decipher his actions. I must have described my whole wardrobe to you that night as you helped me pick something to wear. It wasn't that easy over the phone but you stuck it out, for however many hours it took. Mom wasn't so impressed when she saw the phone bill.

The date went pretty well, despite my nervousness. I told you everything that happened that night and everything that happened afterwards. Every milestone and kiss was related to you in detail. We talked for two hours when I first slept with him and I could hear the envy in your voice when I told you how awkward and wonderful it had been. I wasn't mad at you for that. I knew you were lonely, and I sent up a prayer that night that you would find someone who would make you as happy as Sam made me. Looking back, maybe I shouldn't have bothered.

When Sam went missing, I wanted to call you so bad. I needed you to hold my hand but just hearing your voice was enough. You told me not to worry, that he would come back to me. When I wasn't out looking for him, I was talking to you. You were my rock. The only thing that kept me sane. I remember thinking that there was nothing I couldn't face with you by my side. It was always going to be me and you together, and nothing would ever change that. Or so I thought.

See, maybe you never knew this but there was nothing more important to me than you. You were my sister. You were there from the beginning and I was so sure you would be there until the end. You'd seen me at my best and worst, and I knew everything about you. I would have done almost anything to keep you safe and happy but you managed to find the one thing I couldn't give.

The minute he set eyes on you, I knew something had changed. I saw the emptiness in his expression when he told me he couldn't love me anymore, and so I did what I always did when things hurt. I turned to you. I felt like the whole world was against me, sometimes I felt nothing, but with my big sister's arms around me, I felt like I could deal with anything.

It was easy to hate him, even despite the overwhelming love I still felt. He had torn my heart out and when I found out why, I hated him just that little bit more but it was okay. I knew he would never get what he wanted. I knew my big sister would never betray me. The things a fool believes, huh?

I could see how hard it was for you. I could see it in your eyes, but every time you told me he wasn't worth it, I could see you fighting for me. Why did you stop, Em? I wouldn't have stopped for you. Not even for Sam Uley, not even for the world. I could have fought forever just so you would know that you were first. You were the one I loved most. I would have fought as long as you needed me to.

When you gave in, it was the biggest shock of my life. In my deepest thoughts, I never imagined you giving up on me, or giving me up. I knew my daddy would die one day and I knew that Sam and I might not last forever, but it was always supposed to be me and you, and nothing was ever supposed to change that.

One of my earliest memories of you was when you broke Seth's toy tractor and we tried to stick it back together with glitter glue. Do you remember that, Em? Sam can't know that you cried because you didn't want to upset Seth. He wasn't there that time I cut your hair and you had to walk around for two months with a blunt, choppy fringe. I still laugh when I think back and then I remember that none of it was enough for you and I get this hollow, empty hole in my stomach. At what point did you realise that all of our memories and all of our tears didn't mean as much as being Sam's princess?

I know Sam is wonderful and he's handsome and kind, I really do. He's a real catch, Em and I'm not being sarcastic when I say that, but was he really so perfect that you could let him come between us? It hurts to think that, maybe, I was imagining the bond between us all along. Maybe it was never as strong as I thought it was. Maybe I always needed you more than you needed me.

I wanted to hit you when you asked me to be your bridesmaid. I know you didn't realise how much that would hurt me, or you wouldn't have asked. You wanted me to bear witness to you stealing my life but that didn't hurt as much as you asking in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if you realise what you've done to me. I could have gotten over Sam, eventually. He was just a guy and guys are a dime a dozen, right? His betrayal would have been something we could have laughed at, something that faded over time but yours, yours will stick with me forever.

What I need doesn't seem to matter to you anymore, but that's the crux of imprinting, isn't it? The whole world disappears and it doesn't matter that I was there, through it all. It doesn't matter that we were soul mates first. All of that is just wiped away. I know you didn't want this to happen, Em...but you could have stopped it. You didn't have to let it ruin everything.

I might have wanted Sam, but all I ever really needed was my big sister to hold me in her arms and love me more than anyone else in the world ever could. I thought that's how it would always be, until you replaced me with the man I loved. I still curse myself for being so naïve. I hope you're happy, Emily...I really do. As much as that hurts me. I want you to have all the things that I never will, because once upon a time, I vowed that we would be sisters forever and that you would always be first...and I won't break my promise as easily as you did.

~fin~