Yay! Another chapter after only a day :D After this one, I probably won't be publishing for a couple days because I have summer school finals. But after that, summer school will be over and I will be FREE :D :D :D

Anyway, here is the next scene...

(Curtains open. Enter Alonso, Gonzalo, Antonio, Sebastian...a.k.a. everyone who was in the ship except the crew.)

Gonzalo: Everyone's depressed, because a bunch of people died. But actually we shouldn't be depressed. Because guess what?

Sebastian: What?

Gonzalo: We're still alive!

Sebastian: Oh. I thought advisors of the king were supposed to be intelligent.

Hamlet (above): *stares pointedly at Polonius, who was one of the unimportant people watching the play*

Polonius (above): What?

Hamlet (above too): Nevermind. You're a fishmonger.

Alonso: Will everyone shut up? Including you, audience! My son is DEAD!

Gonzalo: Well, it's ok, because this is a comedy. No one dies in a comedy unless they're stupid, right?

Alonso (slightly perking up): Hey...hey, you're right!

Gonzalo: Exactly.

Alonso (excitedly): So that must mean-

Gonzalo: He was really stupid and unimportant! Precisely!

Alonso (all depressed again): Oh.

Gonzalo: I take it that doesn't make you feel any better. Well, guess what? The grass is so lush, so green!

Antonio: Is he blind? The grass is brown and old.

Sebastian: No, no. See, there's a tiny bit of green in it. Gonzalo doesn't miss a thing.

Antonio: No, he just completely misses reality.

Gonzalo (blissfully continuing on as if nothing happened): And our clothes look just as clean as they were when we first wore them...except that they're covered in seawater. But anyway, if I were king of this island, do you know what I would do?

Sebastian (rolling his eyes): Die of boredom since this place has nothing.

Gonzalo (once more continuing on): I would do things totally different. There would be no schools, no money, no work, no marriage-

Romeo (above): WHAT?

Hamlet (also above): Good.

Gonzalo: No president, no king even though I would somehow be the ruler, no sovereignty, no animals, no plants, no carbon-based life forms, no geniuses, no idiots, no-

Polonius: This speech is too long.

Hamlet (irritated): Oh, shut up. Keep talking, Gonzalo.

Gonzalo: No math, no science, no reading, no chocolate, no Internet even though it doesn't exist yet, no social life, and no island to begin with. I would govern perfectly, and the country would flourish.

Sebastian (sarcastically): Long live Lord Gonzalo!

Antonio: (also sarcastically): God save His Majesty!

Gonzalo: You two are so brave, you would shove the moon out of her orbit if she were stuck there for five weeks.

Sebastian: Wait...whaat?

Antonio (to Sebastian): I have NO idea. (aloud) Uh...yeah. And...then we'd go bird hunting.

Alonso: You guys are stupid. I'm going to sleep.

Gonzalo and everyone else except Antonio and Sebastian: Us too.

(They fall asleep almost like magic. Hmm. How mysterious.)

Antonio: Wow. They fell asleep almost like magic!

Sebastian: Hmm. How mysterious.

Antonio: Very mysterious. Very mysterious indeed. But enough about them...let's talk about you. Because, you know, I can almost see you with a crown on your head.

Sebastian: What? You must be asleep. It is very odd to have your eyes open and be talking when you're asleep.

Antonio (irritated): You're the one who's sleeping if you don't use this opportunity. Why won't you listen?

Sebastian (suddenly intrigued): I'm listening.

(Scary, dramatic music plays. The lights dim.)

Antonio: I'm talking about the king. Your brother, the king. Wouldn't it be better if you just killed him? That way, YOU COULD BE KING BECAUSE YOU KILLED YOUR BROTHER.

Claudius (above): What the-

Hamlet (also above, giddily): Isn't this a great play, Uncle Claudius?

(Claudius glares at him and Hamlet realizes that maybe he's said too much.)

Hamlet (still above): Er...haha...um...carry on, actors, carry on.

Sebastian: Yes! Yes, I will KILL MY BROTHER, THE KING! (singing rather off-key) BE PREPAAAARED!

Antonio (wincing): You can sing once you've killed him. I'll kill Gonzalo, because I feel like it. Now just let me tell you one more useless thing...

(They whisper. Ariel and Puck come out, still invisible.)

Ariel (singing): While you here do snoring lie, open-eyed conspir-

(Puck randomly pulls out a trumpet and starts playing loudly.)

Ariel: Well...that works too.

(They exit.)

Sebastian: Weapon, weapon, where's a weapon? Oh well. I'll just POUR THIS POISON INTO THE KING'S EAR WHILE HE SLEEPS, AND THEN I WILL BE THE KING!

Claudius (above, freaking out): Give me some light! Away!

(He runs away, freaking out. Everyone on the balcony follows him except Hamlet, Horatio (who was another one of the unimportant people) and Romeo and Juliet.)

Antonio (out of character): Wait...did we do something wrong?

Hamlet (above): No, just ignore Claudius. He's kind of...mentally disturbed, one might say.

(Romeo and Juliet are now staring at Hamlet like he's the mentally disturbed one. Maybe he is...)

Gonzalo (acting like nothing happened): Oh my! We just woke up and you guys are holding poison!

Sebastian: Er...while you were sleeping, we heard a noise like roaring bulls, wait...no, lions. Yeah, lions.

Antonio: Yeah, it was really loud. I'm...er, surprised you didn't hear it.

Gonzalo: It is surprising. I just heard a weird humming noise. But if you say this place is dangerous, we should probably keep moving.

Alonso: Well then, we should leave and keep looking for my son.

(All onstage characters exit. Curtains fall. Everything from now till the end of this scene is on the balcony.)

Hamlet (in the middle of a discussion): So you definitely agree he's guilty then?

Horatio: Of course. Otherwise he wouldn't have run away while freaking out.

(Polonius enters.)

Polonius: My lord, your mother wishes to speak with you.

Hamlet: Yeah, whatever. I'll go talk to her soon. But do you notice that cloud up there, shaped like a camel?

(Hamlet and Polonius start walking toward the exit.)

Polonius: Um...yeah. It does look like a camel.

Hamlet: No, it obviously looks like a weasel.

(They walk through the doors and their voices fade away. Horatio stands there awkwardly for a moment, then rushes after them. Romeo and Juliet are the only ones left on the balcony.)

Romeo: ...Well, this is awkward.

(Curtains have already closed, but too bad. Deal with it.)

This one was actually a bit easier than some of the others, because this scene is where the actual play really starts becoming a comedy. So a lot of the Gonzalo, Antonio, and Sebastian banter is actually pretty close to the real thing.

Oh no! Hamlet's gone! D: Whatever will happen...

But since you know how much of a Hamlet fangirl I am, it shouldn't be too hard to guess whether he's coming back or not.

Sorry if you felt kind of cheated about the new characters-Polonius and Horatio sort of count, right? I mean, they weren't mentioned by name before. So oh well. Too bad. There WILL be new characters in the next scene.

Again, reviews are very appreciated! :)