SATAN went to the Pokémon Center for two reasons - mainly because he liked the chips, but also because his Pokémon were nearly dead. He went to see the nurse who took his balls and shoved them in some machine thing. It flashed a few times, and then the sadistic bitch said "I hope to see you again!".
Before he went to Pewter Gym, SATAN jumped on a super space hopper and went to see his uncle on the moon. His uncle was a creepy guy who had Pokémon.
"Fight me you old git!" shouted SATAN, as he sent out Charmander.
"Why not!" shouted Uncle Fukwad, as he sent out a Jigglypuff. SATAN wondered if his uncle was gay.
"Charmander, scratch the shit out of that thing's eyes!". Charmander scratched the shit out of that thing's eyes.
Jigglypuff picked up a chainsaw and started chasing the hell out of Charmander. Charmander saw the rage in its eyes and thought "fuck this", so he evolved into Charmeleon, pulled a piano out of his arse and threw it on Jigglypuff's head. Jigglypuff died.
SATAN killed the fuck out of Uncle Fukwad and stole all of his money, then jumped back down to Pewter City.
SATAN was then really pissed off because he realised Asshat had stolen his car, so he went on a generic filler-tastic sidequest to get it back. He called out Houndoom and sat on his back, and they ran off to that place near the Pokémon league in chase of Asshat. They got him corned.
"So, you may have killed my Skitty, but I have a new Pokémon!", shouted Asshat. Asshat sent out Sunflora.
Houndoom used Flamethrower and burnt that weed to the ground