A/N: Sorry for such a late post! Uni has been keeping me busy. I should have been doing my work instead of this right now, but this sounded more fun. I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read/review though. Especially to my regulars.

(MissBrennan, DoubleBubble96, and InspiredSimplicity. You guys are awesome)

Amber; I can't wait to hear you read this dramatically like the last chapters. You actually made me cry with laughter & your review was….interesting? o.O Thank you for being my best bud, Pumpkins…

Chapter 9: First Love Is The Deepest

The world was angry, she thought as she listened to the harsh sound of the spring rain hitting her car with its strong force. Since she had read the email, she had placed herself into auto-mode and stayed that way through the night. Her dad's had noticed her change in behaviour but never commented. Probably too afraid to see their daughter cry. She had been ignoring Will's texts all morning not having the strength to read them without breaking apart.

Through the night she had woken up with tears in her eyes and gasping for air and all those times she checked her emails, hoping that the email had been a force of her imagination. But even if it had been, would she just ignore it now? No. She had convinced herself that whether it was real or not, the thought of what she was putting Will through actually scarred into her mind, and like scars once they were there they'd never leave.

The cacophony of a sound coming from outside her car suggested that school was about to start and as she unbuckled her seatbelt she took in a deep breath and got out of the car where she was instantly greeted by the heavy rain, which she did not care.

She was thankful however that her first lesson was biology; it meant she didn't have to go anywhere near the language department and face him. Not yet.

She was stuck in her own lost word that the sound of her friends laughter illogically angered her further. It was almost offending. As she entered the class room, she strolled to the back table and threw her numb body towards the chair. Nobody sat next to her. She felt both thrilled and rejected. Did people care so little for her?

Hearing chairs scrapping the floor rapidly told Rachel that the lesson had ended. She stared at the closed book in her hand and wondered why she had even bothered turning up to class and as she passed through the threshold of the room into the wild corridors of the school she saw him, standing there looking straight at her. She felt her feet push into the ground begging her to stop walking in that direction, but it was too late. He was already standing in front of her with his big questioning eyes.

"Rachel. Are you okay?" she heard him say. "Rach?"

"Umm-I-we-," she sighed desperately, suddenly forgetting to speak.

"Can we talk in my office?"

"Yes" she said through a pathetic whisper.

Will closed the door to his office and turned to the obviously upset brunette. She looked puzzled, confused and scared, he thought and when her deep brown eyes focused on him, he felt his heartstrings tightening. He brought his lips to hers he could have sworn he heard her cry in protest before her lips moved against his.

Her hands slowly pushed against his chest as she ended the kiss, knowing that if she continued she'd never be able to do what she HAD to do. "Will please…stop. We…we. Can you sit down?"

Will nodded and sat on his chair beside her. With his heart on his throat, he looked at her and instantly knew his heart would die that day. "Rach?"

"Let me speak please," she begged, "I've thought of so many different ways to tell you this but they all sounded pathetic and weak and I want you to listen careful and please know that I'm thankful for having you in my life for the short time that I got to have you,"

"Rachel…"

"Please Will," she cried. "I got into NYADA. I'm leaving for New York in two months and I'm not coming back to Lima. I don't want to be with you anymore," she watched his tears falling through the reflexion of her own.

"I will go with you to New York Rachel. I will quit my job and I'll find one there near you. I love you Rachel. You complete my life. You've placed all of my fucking life together and made me believe in love again. Please don't give up on us. Rachel, please." He grabbed her hand and desperately kissed her knuckles. Begging her.

Rachel looked now at the floor and soundly cried. The lump on her throat hurting like hell as she failed to suppress her emotions and then she knew her next words would forever kill her.

"I don't want you dragging me down Will. Broadway doesn't allow second best. They only want the best and with you I will never be the best. It's over. I will go off to Broadway and become a star and you will stay here. You're going to find a wife. Have kids and you'll eventually forget about me," She said and pulled her hand from his grasp.

"Bye." She managed to say before she walked out. Walked away from her heart.

Everything around her became a blur of colours as she ran as fast as her legs could handle. And just as she was about to leave the building, she stopped in front of Emma's office and opened the door, not bothering to knock. "I did it! I broke up with him. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" she screamed.

Emma and Quinn looked up at Rachel with pure shock on their expressions. "Rachel. You did well, it might not feel like it right now, but you saved him."

"What the hell is going on?" Quinn asked and got up from the seat in front of the counsellor to hug her obviously distressed friend. "You and Mr Schue okay?"

"How-how did you know?" Rachel managed to say through her cries.

"Rach. I'm not stupid. I have eyes and you two weren't as discrete as you thought. It doesn't matter. What do you mean by you 'broke up with him'?" Quinn said.

"Quinn. Rachel did what's best. Can we cut our meeting short today? I need to talk to Rachel,"

"NO!" Quinn screamed at the counsellor. "You've done enough. Come on Rach. I'll take you home," she said and glared at Emma on her way out.

"Rach. You need to eat more," Quinn protested. "You've barely touched your food."

"I'm not hungry."

Quinn sighed and grabbed their plates and threw them into the trash. "Where's your dad's?"

Rachel shrugged and then got up.

"Where you going?" Quinn asked and followed.

"To my room."

"Okay. That's it! The Rachel that I know would NEVER listen to anyone. Why did you break up with Schue if you're clearly in love with him? I don't understand."

"He has friends, family, a job and so much here. I can't ask him to move hundreds of miles away just for me. It's not fair. He will be giving up so much for me. For what? A few more months? Maybe years if we're lucky? I made a mistake when I went after him, I shouldn't have. He was perfectly okay before. I was okay too…I KNOW I'd bring him down. His dream is to be a teacher. To settle down and have kids and I'm nowhere near that stage in my life and let's face it he's not getting younger," Rachel convinced herself, although deep down she knew age didn't matter, but she needed something to keep her from dying even more.

"He would resent me eventually. Everybody does and I couldn't live with knowing that I was the reason for his unhappiness. I know he's sad now, but in a few months he will be okay again and I will be in New York and eventually I will just be a faded memory."

"Rachel you don't mean that. Those aren't your words. Their Ms Pillsbury's."

"You don't get it Quinn. I can't be with him. I'm too young for him. I've never even seen the world yet! You even told me that I don't belong here! Remember? You told me I'd leave, become a star and…"

"Rachel….don't use my words against me. I was upset that day. Please just think about it. It's not too late to turn back time."

"Yes it is." Rachel whispered and closed her bedroom door. Quinn looked at the white wooden door in bewilderment. She knew Rachel had made her mind up and in a few weeks, she would probably never hear from Rachel again. Quinn grabbed her bag and slowly let herself out of the Berry's house with her own sad tears streaming down her face as she hoped her relationship with Rachel turned out differently.

***One Month Later***

Looking at her reflexion on the mirror of the girls bathroom, Rachel posed a fake smile and fixed her graduation cap. Today would be the last time she walked through the corridors of William Mckinley High School. Her dad's had seemed more excited than she was as they took hundreds of pictures. Rachel knew her name would be called soon to get her diploma and give her speech, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She remembered the faces of her friends when she had quit the glee club and only participated in Regionals to make sure they won. Which they had. Then when they had gone to the after party she had simply got on a car and drove back home, not wanting to stay there for longer than needed.

Quinn had tried to speak to Rachel about Will several times over the past weeks and after receiving the same response from Rachel, she had given up and simply smiled whenever Rachel showed any signs of life. Which was rare. Will had been the same. There were times where he would call a substitute teacher to take over the glee club and on the odd occasions when he did show up he usually kept his lessons to the point and never once did he look for Rachel.

"She's not here," Quinn told him, "she hasn't turned up for practice in weeks."

Will nodded and blinked rapidly to erase the tears that were threatening to come. "How will she…"

"She usually asks me for the songs and practices them at home," Quinn told him. He nodded once again. "I'm sorry Will," Quinn whispered with sympathy before she wrapped her arms around him for a friendly hug.

"Hey Hobbit, you're up next" Santana called. Rachel nodded and took a deep breath before she followed Santana to the stage.

"Rachel Berry," Principal Figgins called. "Congratulations for of the class grades in your year," he smiled and handed her her diploma. Rachel thanked him then turned to leave. "Haven't you got a speech to give?" he asked.

Rachel nodded then turned to watch all the people staring at her waiting to hear her brilliant speech. "Well done everyone for graduating. You should all be proud. I hope you all have a fabulous time at college and in the future. It was a pleasure knowing each and every one of you. Thank you." She stated then walked off. The crowd cheered knowing that they were done with high school.

"We're all going to the choir room to sing one last time as a team. Please come Rachel. Please." Kurt and Finn begged.

Rachel nodded and followed the boys who were actually shocked that she had agreed. As Rachel entered the room she once had called home, Will's eyes landed on her and for the first time in a month so did hers. He looked thinner she thought, also a tired as if he hadn't bothered to sleep for years.

Their eyes lingered at each other's faces for a while longer until the team began to sing the song that brought them all together. "Don't Stop Believing".

The song was over too quickly for the team and as they all hugged and cried as they said their goodbyes. Puck invited them all to his place for an after party and as usual Rachel declined.

Will was packing his bag when he heard her voice. "Mr Schue." He turned to face her and it physically hurt him not to cry for her as she said.

"Goodbye."

To be continued...