He can't fall asleep. He just can't. All that's ever on his mind it Cammie, Cammie, Cammie! He wants her to come back, for her to be in his arms-safe. But she can't and she won't.
She can't come back, because of the stupid C.O.C., because of his stupid mom who needs to go die in a hole. She won't because she never will be safe, because she's too smart, perfect for whatever they were going to use her for. She hides and he likes that. He likes that he can see her in a crowd of normal people. Probably because she isn't (and never will be).
He remembers everything. And that sucks worse than stink bombs. He wishes he would've bugged her shoes, put a G.P.S. in it at the least. Wish he would have thought of this before she left. But he didn't, and she already did.
She's gone, and he wishes he would have gone with her-to stop her from doing irrational things that she probably is double-crossing on. But she's smart and he hadn't gone with her.
He wishes her could have given her a kiss so deep she wouldn't have left, so deep to tell her not too. But he didn't and she did.
She was perfect and he wishes that he could pull her out of all of her thoughts and make her believe he was right- even though he wasn't.
That urge to kiss, and kiss, and kiss her didn't win- and it should have. He wished it did. He wishes so much, its unbearable-inevitable almost.
But those don't get you anywhere.
Especially not in the world they live in.
Secrets, lies, and false identities-wishes don't get you anywhere in that world.