Chapter 37
AN: I know you all just love me for the ending of the last chapter, so I'll update quickly for you.
Disclaimer: Me *points to self* No Kate Brian *Shakes Head* You *Points to computer screen* No sue me *Shakes head* Thank you! *Smiles*
To recap: Luckily, we made it through the common room without incident, but as we were passing by Mr. Cross' room I heard a noise that sounded suspiciously like footsteps and my heart was in my throat.
I froze, I looked at Josh. He was just as panicked as I was. We paused for just a moment and listened for more footsteps, but they didn't come. I heard something that sounded suspiciously like Mr. Cross collapsing onto his bead. I breathed a sigh of relief. Josh reached for my hand, a smile playing on his face, erasing any sign of the fear that had been there before. Once we were in the safety of the stairwell, we burst into hysterical laughter. It felt so good to laugh again, but it also kind of hurt, like exercising a muscle I hadn't used in a while.
When we had finally caught our breath, Josh said "Okay, come on. We're not out of the woods yet. We don't want to wake him up."
We began making our way up the staircase and I felt truly happy. Until the last few days, happiness had been missing from all of our lives. Now, if they can just figure out what happened to Thomas, everything would be just about perfect.
We entered the room Josh was still living in, as the room he shared with Thomas was still considered a crime scene. Maybe it was better that Josh is living in this little broom closet. I don't know if he could take being in the room he shared with Thomas. Josh was finally returning to normal, and I wondered if he was moving on a little too quickly. He could very easily be hiding the true depths of his sorrow from me. I hated to think that Josh was in pain, but didn't want to let me help him through it.
Josh and I squeezed into his room, with all his stuff, there was hardly any room to stand. We sat down on his bed, and I wrapped my arms around him. Josh leaned into me and sighed deeply. He turned and stared lovingly into my eyes. I gazed into his, and all of a sudden we were lying down and he was supporting himself over top of me. We lay there like that for a moment, just gazing into each other's eyes. The look in Josh's eyes had me completely at ease, but then, something changed. Josh's eyes flashed with something I had become accustomed to from him, jealousy, but I was confused, I was with him, I loved him and he knew it, didn't he?
"Reed, I need you to tell me the truth. We're you cheating on me with Thomas?"
My mouth dropped open. I couldn't even formulate words. I couldn't imagine what had made him think that.
"You were, weren't you? I can't believe it, he told me and I didn't listen." Josh was raving. I could see both anger and hurt splayed on his face.
I reached for his hand "Josh, you know that's not true. Why on earth would you think that I was cheating on you, and with Thomas of all people?" I tried to remain clam, but then he started yelling at me.
"Don't lie to me Reed. He told me, and everyone on campus knows, but I didn't want to believe it. The look on your face said everything. I can't believe you. You had me believing you loved me, but I guess that was all a game, wasn't it, Reed? Never trust a Billings Bitch" He murmured the last part under his breath, but I heard it none the less.
I kept trying to open my mouth to interrupt him, but with ach word it was like a knife was driven into my chest. "Josh, it was never a game. There was only ever you. I do love you, just listen to me Josh."
But he was having none of it. He was convinced that I was cheating on him, and at that point, there was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise.
"You know what, Josh, if you're not going to listen to me, I'm leaving," I wanted to stay and convince him that nothing ever happened between me and Thomas, but I was too furious that Josh didn't believe me.
I took the three steps to his door, and as tempting as it was, I didn't slam the door; I wasn't going to get caught for that. I bit back tears as I ran for the stairs. I would let them flow freely when I got back to Billings, but for now I couldn't afford to lose my focus. I crept past Mr. Cross' door, and after that, I was home free. I raced back to Billings as fast as I could in my skirt. Of all the times Josh and I had fought, this was the first time that he accused me of cheating on him, and those words dug deeply. I wasn't sure if I could forgive him for that for a while.
By the time I got back to Billings, I was past the point of being sad. Now I was pissed I couldn't believe Josh had spoken to me that way. Not only accused me of cheating, but also calling me a liar, and calling me a bitch, and in the name, also a slut, because I knew that's what Josh thought of the Billings girls. I had hoped that that opinion had changed now that I was one of them, but apparently that was too much to hope for.
My resolve hardened. I was not going to let Josh get to me. If he didn't trust me, he wasn't worth dating, and as much as it would hurt me, if he didn't beg for forgiveness by tomorrow at dinner, I was going to end things with him. Even if he did beg for forgiveness, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to continue going out with him. I was both happy and afraid of the prospect of ending things with Josh, because, as much as I cared about him, I couldn't be with someone who didn't trust me. I settled in for a night of studying, and refused to think about Josh, no matter how many times thoughts of him tried to creep into my mind.
AN: So, I'm guessing you guys knew they weren't going to get caught, duh. And you were probably expecting a lovely-dovey scene with Reed and Josh, and quite frankly, so was I, but it didn't work out that way, but on the plus side, SOCCER probably in the next chapter, I know I said that like four chapters ago, but I'm serious this time, it's going to happen.