AUTHOR'S NOTE: So even though Randy is champ in this story , I'm using RAW storylines with twists . I own no songs or anythingg , I only own my ideas !;D Next chapterr , enjoyy [x

Chapter 5:

I threw my gym bag into the car and left the trunk open for everyone else. I slammed the drivers side door a little more hard than I needed to, but I was just so damn annoyed. What the hell was it about this girl that was making me go insane?

I heard some voices, and then the doors opened to the car. John sat down in the passenger side, Cody, Brandon, and Christienne right behind us. In the far back sat Ted, Istella, and Cody.

"Let's go, Randy." John spoke in a happy tone, but I knew that he cold tell something was up. I started the car and drove all the way to the arena in silence, tuning out the talking in the car.

As soon as we reached the arena I got out of the car, going to the trunk to grab my gym bag. As I walked I realized that I had left my cellphone in the car. I turned quickly and felt a light weight smack into me. Looking down, I saw Istella on the ground with a shocked expression. Her face got red, and I couldn't help but watch her face. The blood deliciously pooled in her cheeks, and her eyes shone so innocently. I shook my head, and against my better judgment, shot out a hand. She took it gingerly, and as soon as she was up, I let go of her hand.

"Watch where you're going," I said coldly, as she clutched at the back of her head. Her legs suddenly gave out, and I caught her on a reflex. "What's wrong?" I asked her immediately, trying to cover my sudden worry.

"I'm s-sorry, it's just that I'm so dizzy, and my head hurts from the bump from yesterday..." She trailed off and I kept a calm face even though I was confused. What bump was she talking about? Then I remembered the events that had unfolded.

"Did Cody hurt you when he was pretending..." I looked into her face, and her eyes looked a little more clear.

"No- I mean yes- Or sort of. It was an accident." She winced, and I felt worried.

"Can you stand on your own?" I asked her. She nodded her head slowly, and I set her on her feet carefully, not letting go of her completely. As she straightened out, I put one hand on the small of her back. Se stiffened a little, but I ignored it. To be honest, her nervousness was intriguing me, and even though I didn't like her, I was amused.

"I can walk." She took a step forward, and I grabbed her by the tops of her arms as she stumbled a little.

"No, you can't," I said emotionlessly, trying to make up for my nice actions. I couldn't bond with her, it was a bad idea.

"No fair, I tripped..." I held back a chuckle at her childishness, and then I used one hand to feel the back of her head. I felt the bump, and my eyes widened. It was about the size of a golf ball.

"You need to go to a doctor, that bump's huge." I gritted my teeth, how did she not realize it? She shook her head, and I rolled my eyes since she couldn't see me.

"I'm fine, really. I don't wanna be a pain in your ass any more than I already am." She mumbled the second sentence, probably not wanting me to hear, but I did anyways. I didn't know she felt that way, but I hadn't exactly been the nicest guy to her as of late.

"Cody, Ted." I spoke quickly, gaining my cold exterior again. They came up to me quickly, and I saw their faces twist into one of shock as they saw me holding Istella steady.

"Istella, are you okay?" Cody looked at her with concern.

"She fell. Can somebody tell me why the hell she didn't go to a doctor? This bump is huge." I turned to them both, and Cody stuttered a reply.

"Well we get bumps and we don't need a doctor so I thought that she didn't need it either." He spoke to the ground and I shook my head.

"We get bumps but we are used to it. She is not a wrestler. I'm going to the trainers to get this checked. I'll be in the locker room soon." I slung my bag over my shoulder, and swept Istella into my arms.

"Alright, then." I heard Ted reply, and I turned and walked into the building, quickly heading to the trainers. I saw people move a little further away as they saw me walking in the hallway. They all looked scared and confused. Scared because they thought I was dangerous, and confused because of the dazed girl in my arms who looked like she was in pain.

I got to the trainers and set her down on the bed.

"Hello, Mr. Orton. What's wrong?" I turned to the doctor and nodded in the direction of Istella.

"She's had a bump on her head since yesterday. She got backed into a wall pretty hard. She just fell outside right now, too, and then started getting dizzy." I stared at the doctor, and he walked over to Istella, checking her head. After a few minutes of observation he walked back to me.

"Sir, it's nothing serious. Just a mild case of vertigo. She's going to need medication, and someone to take care of her for the next two days or so. Is there anyone you know who can take care of her?" The doctor stared at me, and I thought about it. Suddenly, me and the doc heard Istella, and turned to her.

"I can get Cody or Brandon to help, I think..." She was sitting up on the side of the bed, staring at her hands. She was fumbling around, and looked uncomfortable, and she seemed deep in thought. Just thinking about Brandon made me more pissed off, even though there was no reason that explained my annoyance.

"I'll take care of her, tell me what to do." I was a little surprised at myself, and Istella's head shot up, and she stared at me in shock as she held her head, wincing.

" Alright then, come over here. This is the mediation you will need, go to the nearest pharmacy and pick it up. She needs to take it with food every six hours. And make sure she doesn't get up too often, or get under stress." The doc handed me a slip of paper for the medicine, and I nodded to him.

"Thank you," I said, walking up to Istella. I stared at her hard, looking right into her big, scared eyes. "We're leaving." I picked her up easily; she weighed as much as my gym bag. She gasped as I walked quickly to the door, kicking it open with my foot.

I walked to my locker room, shifting her weight so I could open the door. Going inside, I pushed the door closed with my foot and set her down on the couch. She hadn't talked at all, and her face was red and nervous. I looked her over once: She was wearing a black v-neck shirt with a little necklace, and a pair of mid-thigh length shorts and black tennis shoes. I looked back at her face, and she was watching me with apprehension and curiosity. Her hair was falling down her back in long rivers. I looked away and set down my gym back, blinking quickly. What was I doing? Did I want to be tortured? I had no idea why I was getting so intrigued by such an average creature.

"Fuck..." I murmured, remembering that I had forgotten my phone in my car. I turned to Istella, who had her face in her hands. "Stay here, don't move. I'll be back." I left my locker room, closing the door behind myself. I got my cellphone quickly, and checked for any missed calls. I let out a deep breath as I saw the few voicemails that I had.

"Hey, Cody and Ted said that Istella got hurt. Is she okay? Call me back." I deleted John's voicemail and moved on.

"Hey call us back, and tell Istella that I'm sorry for hurting her. It was an accident." I rolled my eyes at Cody's message and moved on.

"Randy, everyone's worried. Where are you? Bye." I deleted Ted's voicemail as I reached my locker room. I stopped cold as I saw who was waiting for me at the door. Our eyes connected, and I walked towards him fast.

"What do you want? And where's your little posse?" I sneered at him as I spoke, clenching my fists. He chuckled, and I clenched my jaw.

"Randy, we've known each other for a while now, why the anger? We're old buddies." I laughed loudly at his words, shaking my head. I stopped laughing abruptly, rolling my head around and staring at him.

"Wade Barrett is only buddies with himself. Now I'm going to ask again, what do you want?" I watched him closely, and he smiled, looking at the wall and then back at me.

"Why don't we take this conversation to a more private place. Your locker room, possibly?" He gestured to the door, and I immediately thought of Istella. Wade was one of those people who loved to torture others , and I had a weird feeling of protectiveness over her. I shook my head blocking the door.

"We talk here. I don't let trash in my locker room." I crossed my arms to stop myself from hurting Barrett as he laughed.

"Fine, I see how it is. I just wanted to know if you were interested in joining us. You know that we could protect you, and we wouldn't interfere in your matches." He looked at me, complete seriousness on his face. I looked away, pressing my lips together. I turned back to Wade, shaking my head.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to see your face. Don't come near me or anyone that I know. I swear, if you ever lay a hand on anyone just to mess with me, then I will take you and your little group of cowards down, one. By. One." I emphasized each word with a threatening glare, pulling myself to my fullest height.

"Oh, so you'd try and beat me up if I ever hurt someone you knew? Like what happened when we were both twenty-three? When I did hurt someone that you were close to?" Wade laughed as I froze, shivers running down my back. "Randy, you're making a mistake. Let's just hope that I don't scar you as badly as I did last time." Wade turned and walked away, and my hands were tingling with the urge to hit something. I felt sick to my stomach, memories flooding into my head. I hated Wade, I hated him so badly that I could bash his head into a pulp.

Shaking with rage and tension, I slammed my door open. I was blinded with rage. I shut the door and walked to the closest wall, punching it hard. A sharp pain flowed through my hand, and I clenched it, hissing through my teeth. I sank down onto the bench, putting my face into my hands as I tried to calm down, the anger causing rolls of heat to pour off of my body. I sat for five minutes in silence, and clenched my jaw as I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder. At first my mind flashed to Wade, but then I remembered that I wasn't alone in the locker room.

"Randy... are you okay?" I didn't move. I just kept breathing deeply, trying to stop my rage. I moved my head with some difficulty, nodding slowly. "Okay then," She said. I felt the soft weight of her hand leave, and immediately I wanted her to come back, so I could feel her comfort. Nobody had tried to comfort me in a long time. All they ever did was prod constantly, or act like they didn't notice that something was wrong. I lifted my head from my hands, and I let out a deep breath, turning to Istella.

"Sit down, I don't want you getting hurt again." I spoke quietly, but I didn't use a menacing tone like usual. I was too tired and annoyed. I was glad to see that she didn't argue. I looked at her closely, and saw that her face was pale, and her eyes shone with worry and fright. She turned slowly and made her way back to the couch carefully, laying down just as gingerly. I looked down at the ground, wondering what I should do.

"Are you- Is your hand okay?" I glanced up to see her staring at me with worry. I looked down at my hand, and grimaced as I saw the swelling that was increasing bit by bit. I bit back a frustrated growl, and nodded.

"I'm fine. Get some rest." I got up, walking to the little freezer, and I pulled out a pack of ice. I set it on my hand, and glanced up to see Istella looking at me. She opened her mouth slowly, looking contemplative before she spoke.

"Can I ask you something?" She looked at me carefully, and I walked to the couch across from her, sitting down. I looked at the coffee table, and nodded slowly. "Why do you hate me?" I looked up, and saw her face. She was completely serious, and I felt a little guilt in the back of my mind. I looked down at my hand, which was swollen under the ice, and thought about what to say. I finally spoke.

"I'm no-It's not... I don't hate you." I rubbed my face and leaned onto my good hand, looking at the ground hard. I could feel her steady gaze on me.

"Then why do you act like I'm a pain? Did I do something?" I closed my eyes. Why did she have to ask so many questions? And why were they such hard questions? I kept my eyes closed as I spoke: it was easier to talk without seeing her.

"It's nothing personal about you. It's just how I am." I felt a little surprised at my words. I had never talked to anyone like this before, and it was kind of weird, but it made me feel good. I liked telling someone how I really felt, but I would never admit that to anyone.

"Did something happen outside? I thought I heard voices." I listened to her voice, and I noticed something. It was soothing. Her voice was calming my nerves, and I felt my tense muscles relaxing. I found it interesting that her voice was full of concern for me, like she cared, even though I had been a jackass to her for the past two days.

"Nothing. I was just talking to... someone." I opened my eyes to look at Istella. She looked like she was thinking about something. There was a little crease between her furrowed eyebrows, and her mouth was turned down slightly.

"Oh, okay then. And thank you, by the ways. For helping out." Her face smoothed out, and she smiled a little. I shrugged, getting up and tossing the ise pack into the trash.

"No big deal. I have to get changed, I have a match tonight. Do you want to take a nap or close your eyes or..." I watched approvingly as her cheeks turned red, which was one of the reasons that I had asked her the question. I couldn't stop watching her face, which flushed so deeply.

"I, uh, well, umm... I'll just close my eyes." Her eyes were wide, showing her discomfort. She slipped down on the couch, closing her eyes. I kept watching as she pressed her lips together. I finally got up, making my way to my gym bag. I grabbed my gear and slipped out of my jeans and shirt, while I kicked off my shoes, left only in my boxers. I got out my wrestling trunks and stripped off my boxers as well, replacing them with the trunks. I sat on the bench as I pulled on my knee pads. I grabbed my boots, lacing them up.

As I fished the tape from my gym bag, I smothered my face into one hand, trying not to smirk. Istella's eyes were open as she looked pointedly at the ceiling, trying to act normal. I acted like I was still looking for the roll of tape just so I could watch her out of the corner of my eye. She didn't notice me watching, and she started fidgeting with her hands, grabbing her necklace and fumbling with the charm. I straightened up on the bench finally, holding the tape.

"You can look now if you want. I'm done changing." Istella turned to me as I spoke, and her face suffused with color. I started taping up my wrists, knowing that she was embarrassed seeing me in my lack of clothing.

"Can I ask another question?" I stopped taping up my wrists and looked up at her. She was looking at me curiously again, and I nodded slowly as I returned to my task. "Why do you act so distant with people?" I did my best not to cringe at her question. She was asking questions that were hitting close to a target that I didn't want her to reach.

"I'm not distant with my friends. I usually don't have strangers around with me." I spoke a little harsher than I had meant, and I relented. "I'm just not used to having outsiders in my life." I spoke softer, and I noticed Istella shuffle on the couch.

"Oh. Why don't you try and be friends with people who you don't know?" I felt Istella's eyes on me, and I looked up at her.

"I think that's enough questions for the time being." I saw her look down, and I returned to taping up my wrists. I finished one hand and moved on to the other. Before I began, however, I pulled my iPod out of my bag, plugging in the earphones. I sat back down on the bench and scrolled through the songs, finally settling on one. I went back to the tedious task of the tape as 'Rusted From the Rain' by Billy Talent blasted in my ears. I had taken note of the song a month ago, and the band's music had interested me.

I watched out of my peripheral vision as Istella reached into her pocket, pulling out an iTouch with her earphones. I saw her look at the screen, her eyes widening, and then filling with tears. Her forehead creased, and she seemed angry and frustrated. I slowly pulled my earphones out of my ears as I watched her openly now. Finally finished with the goddamned tape, I tilted my head to the side, watching her as I leaned my elbows on my knees.

"Hey," I barked out, sounding harsh. Istella barely flinched, just looking at her iTouch. "What happened?" I asked her more softly now. I realized that that was becoming the question of the day. She just shook her head, her lips trembling.

"M-my iTouch. I-It's b-b-broken. I c-can't listen t-to my m-m-m-music. It m-must have h-h-happened w-when I fell." I furrowed my brow as I saw her tears fall. She didn't make any other noise as she cried. I was nervous though, I mean, what was I supposed to do? Hug her? No way in hell would that help: she'd probably cry harder or something. I suddenly got an idea, and even though I didn't want to do it, I remembered that she couldn't be stressed, and I didn't want her to act all... all... all emotional in front of me! And all for a freaking MP3 player!

I got up, grabbing my iPod. I walked up to her and stuck it out in front of her. "Give me the iTouch. Use this." I loved my iPod, but seeing her so broken up about her iTouch was too much. She looked up at me wide-eyed, her eyes rimmed with red, and her mouth open slightly in shock.

"I c-couldn't do t-that." She shook her head, so I gingerly grabbed the iTouch from her, sticking it into my pocket. I pressed the iPod into her tiny hand, and I walked back to the bench. I started stretching for my match, but I was also watching Istella. I couldn't help it, she was so average, but so different. I watched as she looked at the iPod with a slight frown. She then plugged in her own earphones into it, looking through the songs as she sniffled and wiped the last of her tears. Her face contorted into one of shock, and I wondered why. What did she find so interesting about it? She turned to me, her hair flying as she looked at me with an expression of surprise. "You listen to Billy Talent and Three Days Grace?" I looked at her directly, nodding slowly as I raised my eyebrows.

"Is that a problem?" I stopped myself from smirking as she blushed. Shaking her head vehemently, she smiled slightly, following it by a wince as she held her head.

"Ow, I shouldn't shake my head so hard. And it's not a bad thing, it's just that... It's nothing really." She seemed to have played a song, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to rest on the arm of the couch, her foot moving in a steady beat. I kept staring at her, watching her movements. Why was she captivating me like this? This was not normal. I mean, Randy Orton doesn't care average girls that have nothing to offer! What was wrong with me?

I continued stretching, but got distracted from my phone vibrating. Letting out a loud breath in frustration, I snatched it up, looking at the caller ID. Closing my eyes, I answered. "What?" I asked John.

"Hey, you're alive! Now where the hell are you and Istella?" I gritted my teeth, biting back any harsh comments or retorts. I hated how everyone either acted scared of me, or acted like they were my parents. Nobody ever treated me like I was normal... well, nobody except for... I quickly shook my head, rubbing the back of my head as I squeezed my eyes shut even more tightly.

"Ever think of checking my locker room?" I hinted at my annoyance, emphasizing 'locker room'. I listened to John chuckle softly.

"Well, we checked as soon as we got here, but we didn't see you so we kept looking around." John sounded sheepish, and I clenched my jaw momentarily.

"Yeah..." I said, drawing out the word in a bored voice, waiting for him to get to his point.

"Well, we're at Ted and Cody's locker room. Why don't you and Istella meet up with us here?" He sounded so happy about it, that I couldn't stand it.

"No thanks. I have a match tonight against Jack Swagger. I'd rather not be there." I spoke carelessly, thinking of the real reason in my head. The real reason, which happened to be lying on my couch listening to my iPod, the one item which I had never let anyone ever touch before.

"Oh, sure. Where's Istella?" John sounded concerned, and I fought the urge to hang up on him. I opened my eyes, staring at the concrete floor, covered in marks and a few cracks.

"She's within sight," I stated simply, not going further into detail. I heard John sigh, and I waited for him to speak.

"Well, are you making an effort to be nice? I think it's unfair that you're acting so-" John was starting to lecture, so I cut him off, fast.

"Look, John. I don't need or want you to tell me what to do or how to act. You live your live, and I'll live mine. Simple as that. Unless I'm affecting something that personally affects you, I'd appreciate if you'd keep your wisdom to yourself." I had started of cold, but by the end of my small speech I was snarling into the phone. My hand was shaking, and I was doing my best to not break the phone.

"Alright, man. Cool off. I was just saying-" He was speaking again, but I was pissed, so I cut him off again.

"Yes, you were just saying. And I'm just saying for you to keep the hell out of my damn business!" I growled into the phone, hanging up on him. I knew John better than he knew himself. When we would see each other again, he would act as if the exchange had never occurred. It was how all of my conversations went lately.

Sighing, I decided to wait for RAW by playing games on my phone. I pulled it out, scanning through it. I stowed it on a shelf after five minutes, bored with it. I wasn't used to being without my iPod, it wasn't natural. I would always shut out everything with my music, and now it wasn't with me. Almost like she was reading my mind, Istella spoke.

"Hey Randy, do you have an iHome, or any speakers for iPods? My ears hurt from the earphones." I turned and gauged her expression. It was obvious that she was just saying that as an excuse to cover up her concern for me. I felt like laughing at her obvious attempts, but stopped myself. Walking over to some shelves, I pulled off an iHome, setting it on the tabletop by the couch. Istella stuffed her earphones into her pocket, and plugged in the iPod. 'I Will Not Bow' by Breaking Benjamin, one of my preferred songs, started playing. I smiled a little, and then stopped as I realized what I was doing. "You smiled!" Istella looked at me, a shocked expression on her face, and I shook my head.

"I think you're mistaken. There's nothing to be smiling about right now." I turned away, listening to the music, and sat on the bench, closing my eyes. I didn''t know what to think. It was scaring me how she watched me closely. The scarier thing was that even when she wasn't watching, I knew that she could read me like a book. It was disconcerting. It was weird how she wasn't like everyone else. Everyone either acted oblivious to my psychopath habits, or they kept their distance, because they were scared. She was neither, and this was actually the scariest thing of all.

No.

Randy Orton is never scared. Never.

I listened to the chorus of the song playing, trying to distract myself.

I will not bow, I will not break.

I will shut the world away.

I will not fall, I will not fade.

I will take your breath away.

And I'll survive. Paranoid.

I have lost the will to change.

And I'm not proud, cold blooded, and fake.

I will shut the world away.

I felt a shiver go down my spine. Funny how a song could describe everything in your life. In just a few words, that song had me nailed. I vaguely wondered if she had picked this song for a reason.

NO. No, no, no. I had to stop overanalyzing this shit. I would become more psychotic than I already was if I thought about all of this. She doesn't know me. Nobody knows me. Nobody.

'So Cold' by Breaking Benjamin started playing, and I listened to the lyrics, trying to stop all my thoughts.

You're so cold, keep your hands in mine.

Wise men wonder while strong men die.

Show me how it ends, it's all right.

Show me how defenseless you really are.

Fuck this. Music, my one medication which sedated my normally twisted mind, was being my biggest nightmare. What was wrong with me? What did she do to me? I couldn't take it anymore. I put my hands into my face, ensuring that even if I opened my eyes like I wanted to, I wouldn't see her.

"Could you put on another album?" I spoke in a muffled voice, trying to control my feelings. I heard the music stop, and after a few moments, I heard her voice.

"There," she said, playing the song. 'River Below' by Billy Talent played. I relaxed somewhat, my bunched up shoulders slowly relaxing.

Rejected...since day one

My name is...bastard son

I've been damned...so many times I've lost count

Blue collar...working man

Devises...master plan

Bi-polar...with a mental side arm

I'm sick and I'm twisted

I'm broken you can't fix it

Don't make me, cause I'll do it

Red button and we'll all go

Into the river below...I'm running from the inferno...

They'll think I'm insane, but you'll all know my name!

I shot up, my eyes flying open. I rubbed my face, trying to stop myself from going over the edge. Was she doing this on purpose? I walked to the door, not looking up from the concrete. "I'm going out. I need fresh air. I'm right outside the door." As I walked out, I realized just how demented my voice sounded to me. I wondered how my face must have looked like, and I walked to the bathroom a few yards away. I pushed the door open hard, and heard a thwack.

"My nose! Goddamnit my nose! Watch where you're going! You stu- oh, Mr. Orton. Im so sorry, I didn't rea- GAH!" I grabbed the short wrestler, Evan Bourne, by his neck, pushing him up to the wall. I wanted so badly to punch him in the nose. I growled low, baring my teeth, feeling like my eyes were going to burn him. He seemed terrified, and it brought me satisfaction. I let go of him then, realizing what I was doing. I looked at the tiled floor of the bathroom as Evan coughed and held his neck and nose alternatively.

"Sorry." I spat out from between my teeth.

"It's fine... I-I guess I j-just caught you at the wrong time. S-sorry about that." He practically flew out of the bathroom, leaving me alone. I walked to the sink, looking into the mirror, and I was... surprised.

My whole face looked haunted and deadly. It was worse than psychotic. I felt twisted, and I turned on the water, splashing my face. I dried my face on the paper towels, looking at my reflection again. I looked more composed from the cold water, but my eyes still had that look. That scary look that even I hated about myself. Is this what Istella saw when she looked at me? Why the hell wasn't she afraid?

I walked out of the bathroom, slowly making my way back to my locker room. I froze as I saw the door slightly ajar. I walked forward, peeking in to see who it was that had intruded within my domain.

"Little girl, I warn you once more, get out before I-"

"Before you what? I dare you to do something! I've been going through a fucking rollercoaster of shit for the past two days, and if a jackass like you wants to start a fight, then I'll be happy as hell to fight!" I listened to Istella's harsh yelling, and saw Jack Swagger. His back was to the door, but you could see the red rising on the back of his neck and his arms.

"You little piece of shi-" Jack started towards Istella, and though I really wanted to see this little average girl try to take on Jack, I knew she was sick. I speared Jack before he could touch her. I didn't know why, but some small part of my mind was telling me that this was more than just stopping a sick girl from taking on Jack... I was protecting her because I cared.

Wait, no. No. HELL no. Fucking no. I don't give a flying fuck about anyone. Nobody. Never. Not again.

The torrent of thoughts made me spear Jack harder than was necessary. I got up and watched him grasp his stomach and ribcage in agony. After about three minutes, he managed to get up. I didn't dare look at the girl sitting on the couch behind me.

"Orton, the fuck was that for? I was just telling this little tool to get out of here. SHe has no business being here. I needed to speak to you privately." I raised an eyebrow as Swagger talked. It was hard to take a guy with such a major lisp seriously. I snorted, and laughed at him derisively.

"You think you can come into my locker room, tell a sick girl to get out of here, and ask- no, no, demand to speak to me? Just WHO do you think you are?" I stared at him, dangerously close to snapping. I wondered what God or higher being hated me so much that it was testing my patience to the point of snapping like a tightly stretched rubber band. I watched Jack's confidence fade, and I felt a little satisfied.

"Well, we have a lot in common. We're both the top superstars around here. We both are the most good-looking talents. And we both are carrying this show, and this company." I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I looked at the ground. I shot a glare at Jack before I addressed his stupid comment.

"You are pathetic. Get out of my locker room. Before I kick you out. Now." I watched him clutch his side as he stared at me in, of course, fear. He walked past the couch, looking down at her. She glared at him, almost like she could kill him with a single look. He smirked as he looked down.

"Keep on looking, babe. If you want, I'll forgive your rudeness, and you can come to my room later." He winked, grinning. I clenched my fists, and watched Istella get up from the couch, slowly. I didn't move though, because I couldn't speak for her, and I couldnt show her how damn annoyed I was at Jack. Because I was only annoyed at his ass for being so rude to me. I was not jealous. There was nothing to be jealous of.

THWACK.

"Is that clear enough for you?" Istella smirked at Jack as she spoke in a sugar-coated voice. I coughed into my shoulder, trying to cover up the laughter that was about to come out of my mouth. She was sitting back down when Jack lunged for her.

I didn't know I could run that fast. Before Jack reached her, I had him crashing into the cement wall, and I was holding him up against it, glaring into his eyes. I saw myself reflected there, and my eyes were full of murderous rage. I bashed him into the wall again. I didn't care if I had already speared him. Jack was crossing a line.

"Never, and I mean NEVER, come into my locker room and disrespect a female. Do you understand what I am saying to you?" I spat the words out separately, enunciating. I saw his eyes gleam with horror, and he nodded like a bobblehead. I wanted to pnch him until his face was a bloody pulp, but I let him go, pushing him to the ground. I had a match with him, and I was booked to win, so I would enjoy myself then.

"Get out." I spoke quietly, and Jack scrambled out the door like a scared puppy. I shut the door in his wake, and turned. Istella was sitting on the couch, looking at me. At first she looked scared, like she was worried that I was going to hurt her. Then her face relaxed, and she pulled a small smile.

"Would you like to sit on the couch with me? The bench doesn't seem too comfortable." She scooted to the corner of the couch, leaving a wide gap to the other side. I looked at her momentarily. Slowly, before I knew what I was doing, my feet were moving towards the couch. I sat down, and instead of sitting as far as I could, I sat relatively comfortably. Grabbing the remote off of the table, I turned it on. It was five in the evening, and not much was on. I turned to USA Network and put down the remote.

"Do you watch NCIS?" I felt stupid as I sat there. Since when did I talk to people and ask them these kinds of questions?

"Yeah, it's a good show." I relaxed after she answered; clearly, she was observant enough to notice that I wasn't in a talkative mood. We watched in relative silence, and around five fourty-five, I stood up. She had been so engrossed in the show that my movement scared her.

"I need to go. Come with me to DiBiase and Rhodes' locker room." I got up, and watched as she picked herself up slowly. I went to the bench and picked up my gas mask tshirt, pulling it on. I watched Istella walk around, but she lost her balance. SHe chuckled a little, and I cocked my head to the side at the spectacle.

"Seems like I took out my strength in slapping Swagger... pity I didn't use it on something more useful." She was talking to me, but not to me. I nodded slowly, and then walked over to her, sweeping her up and leaving the locker room quickly. We got to Legacy's locker room, and I knocked. John opened the door, and looked at us, raising a brow.

"She's got vertigo, her head hurts. She can't walk alone." I spoke calmly, walking in and setting her down on the couch. I cringed as I saw Brandon run up to her.

"Istella! Are you okay? This is horrible, I'll take care of you while you get better. Don't worry." I released a deep breath, trying to calm my inner self.

"Come on Randy. We have to go, Swagger promo, remember?" I looked at John, and nodded.

"Bye guys," people in the room called to us. John replied, but I walked out, heading to guerrilla position. John jogged up, grabbing my shoulder. I stopped, flaring my nostrils as I turned to him, clutching the title belt on my shoulder.

"What's going on with you? You don't seem like yourself." John trailed off, and I shook my head, laughing fakely.

"Nothing John. You know I don't like outsiders, and I can't act normal around her. It's weird. COme on now man, don't ruin the time I have to be myself." I slapped him on the shoulder as John grinned and started talking about some prank that had occurred in my absence. This was how it was supposed to be.

When Istella was around, I could be my real self. My cold, uncaring self that didn't give two shits about any pranks, and who wouldn't laugh.

When she wasn't around, I had to keep up the farce, the happy exterior, so I could keep the small group of friends I had. I could only be a part of my real self with strangers and acquaintances, having to act somewhat polite towards them.

We reached guerrilla position with five minutes to the show. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, RAW pyros were going off. I felt someone coming up behind us, and I turned to see Jack. He walked normally, but there was a wince to each step that made me smirk.

Jack went out, not looking my way, and started speaking. I ignore everything, and soon John went out.

"Knock em dead," I said, smiling the fake smile. John nodded.

"Hell yeah I will!" He walked out and started the crap about being champion and whatever. I watched the little speeches on the monitor.

"John that doesn't work for me on a couple levels. Now let me tell you exactly why that does not work for me-" Jack's speech was cut off.

I hear voices in my head.

They council me, they understand.

They talk to me.

I strode out to the crowd cheering. I wished they knew that I wasn't really worth cheering for. If they only knew about the demons within my life, if they only knew how true the lyrics of my entrance music were, they would never cheer.

I spoke my lines, acted out what I was supposed to do. I did my job, nothing more. I felt relief as I walked into the back and reached the Legacy locker room. I walked in, seeing the sight before me.

Istella was laughing as she talked to everyone animatedly. She seemed so happy... she didn't look anything like she was in my locker room. I walked up to them quietly. They turned and smiled.

"I need to take her back to my locker room. You're welcome to join me if you want." I spoke without emotion, and everybody shook their heads. Everyone except...

"I'll come with you, Randy." I turned to Brandon and nodded.

"Alright," I was about to pick up Istella, but Brandon was already there, holding her with effort. I ignored it, inwardly growling as I thought about the many ways in which I could hurt him.

I strode out of the locker room, and suddenly it was all too much. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around.

"Keep Istella here. I need to get ready for my match." Without another word, I left. I needed to think for a while, with no interruptions. Because I knew that I was going to be thinking of the past... the past which I had been hiding for seven years.