Chapter 2
"So who's next?" Mason asked slouching a bit more against the arm of the couch to get more comfortable. "Uncle Leo, you got something?"
Leo rubbed his chin in thought "Hmm?" he suddenly snapped his fingers "The Federation and The Triceraton Republic" he said.
"Alright now correct me if I'm wrong but those are the alien guys who were after the same robot dude right?"
"That is correct" Don confirmed
"Right what was that guy's name, Professor…?" Mason said waiting for one of the adults to finish his sentence.
"Honeycutt" Don answered
"Yeah, that guy." he suddenly paused and let out a short chuckle "What kind of name is that by the way?"
Mikey snorted "Dude."
"What? I'm just saying." He shook his head "Sorry we're supposed to be making fun of villains not allies… that was the pain killers talking. Anyway let me just say that the fact that these two groups were not from this planet just make you guys even awesomer than before." Mason shrugged "And you guys had quite a few alien haters."
"D'aww we're flattered Mase" Mikey said
"But really these guys were that obsessed over a robot… a robot. Really?" Mason exclaimed "When Pop was telling us this story I was floored. All the mayhem, all the hype… for a robot."
"Well the whole thing was that the Professor had plans for a transportal device…" Leo started.
"Yeah, yeah I know both sides wanted to use the device for evil like blowing up other planets cause neither one of them have anything better to do with their lives. I get it."
Raph snorted "Kid's got a point."
"Thank you. I mean they spent however long trying to find one stinking robot. Wasted their own people, possibly money and pretty much any other resources that they had on their home planets… for a robot" Mason continued to rant "I cannot stress this enough people. Now all I can say is this: either they need to go to a park and play hide and go seek a life or take their butts to a cemetery and play hide and go seek death" that sparked a few chuckles
"What?" Raph asked still laughing
"I'm guessing you're not too fond of these two groups." Leo assumed
"Nah, they alright compared to who I think is the worst of the villains" Mason said "Uncle Raph, your turn."
"Karai" he replied without any hesitation
"Oh, it seems like you had that ready."
"I kinda did."
"That's what we should do actually Uncle Don and Pop have some enemy ready for when I get to you alright." Mason explained
"Alright." Mikey shrugged
"No problem" Don said before taking another sip of his caffeinated beverage
"I'm sorry who did you choose, Uncle Raph." Mason moved his baby blue eyes to the red banded turtle.
"Karai."
"Right. Uncle Leo's ex-girlfriend." Mason paused when Don choked on his coffee because he laughed at the completely wrong time. Mason snickered, "You alright, Uncle Don?"
Don coughed a few more times to get the rest of coffee out "Yeah, I'm fine. Please continue."
"That wasn't funny" Leo grumbled, crossing his arms
"Ha, yeah it was" Raph said completely agreeing "Laugh at yourself damn it. You made a stupid mistake as a teenager…which is real funny fifteen years later."
"Thank you Uncle Raph. Someone understands me." He pushed his black hair out of his face before continuing "So… what was up with her anyway? She wasted her life trying to destroy you cause her daddy wanted her to. Now, I understand that you want to be loyal to the person that raised and trained you. Like I know you guys would be beside Splinter, God rest his soul, no matter what. But there should be a limit."
"And where should that loyalty end." Mikey asked
"Well, let's pretend for a second that I'm Karai and Pop is here dear, sweet daddy Shreddy bear, okay."
Don snorted at the nickname "Okay." he said completely following.
"Here's what should've happened: Pop, listen I love and everything, but um… you're a fricken psycho who needs some major medical attention. I know you want to get rid of those turtles, but I love my life more and clearly your plans ain't working so give up." He flailed his hands for emphasis. "If I keep telling those turtles one thing and then doing the complete opposite I have a feeling that Leonardo might slit my throat open." Mason saw Leo smile a bit at that "So… yeah. You might want to give up too…" he raised his hands up as a sign of surrender. "Just saying."
"And what exactly makes you think that the Shredder would just let you go?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah, ain't no way in hell that you're getting out of there alive." Raph agreed.
"Then leave him a note." Mason suggested "I'm done being your child, so go seek death. Then leave." He shrugged "And I gotta say Karai… worst Shredder ever. Agreed on that?"
"Agreed" the guys chimed in.
"Good." He turned to his purple banded uncle "Uncle Don, what you got for me?"
Don set his finished cup of coffee on the table in front of him before speaking "Baxter Stockman."
"Hmm?" Mason hummed
"What? Are you at a loss for words?" Leo questioned
"Not exactly. I was just thinking that I really can't hate this guy" Mason scratched the back of his head thinking about what his uncles would say to this.
"Why's that?" Don asked
"I can't exactly choose a reason why cause there's quite a few like," he paused to think of a reason "maybe because every time he would fail he'd lose a body part, maybe because he was reduced to nothing but brain and forced to use robot vessels as a source of a body. Or maybe it's because if it wasn't for him everything that has happened to you guys never would have happened to begin with."
There was absolute silence in the room and Mason could tell that they were thinking it through a bit. "Here let me help you out a bit. You guys spent fifteen years of your life underground living by Splinter's one and probably only rule which was…" he waited for one of the oldest to finish his sentence.
"Never go above ground." Leo finished for him.
"But then what happens, your old home is attacked by Stockman's rat problem solving experiment, what were they called."
"Mousers." Don answered
"Thank you. Anyway they destroy your home, you're forced to find a new one, but the only way to do that is if you…."
"Went topside" Raph completed
"And when you went topside who did you meet for the first time?" Mason continued onward
"The Purple Dragons and the Foot." Mikey finished
"And who was the leader of the Purple Dragons?" Mason questioned
"Hun." Don said
"Who does the Foot and Hun work for?"
"The Shredder." Raph said
"And The Shredder's arch enemies before you guys were…?"
"The Utroms" Leo said
"Leading to the Federation, the Triceratons, even that terrible monster hunter that you met when you first went to the farmhouse. If it wasn't for Stockman, I probably wouldn't be here and neither would any of your kids or wives. It would just be you."
"Holy shit, the kid's right." Raph exclaimed loudly "Almost everything that has happened to us was because of Stockman."
"Well that was a fun game. I love it when I get through to people." he gave a short whoop "So maybe next time you see him, you should hug him and thank him."
"I ain't hugging a brain." Raph grouched sounding disgusted.
"Ew, I think you need a hug. Mister Grouchy." Mason let out a goofy laugh then shook his head. "Whoa where did that come from?"
"I think someone's getting sleepy." Mikey lightly ruffled his son's hair making most of it fall in his face. "You always get a little loopy when you're tired."
Mason groaned "Stupid pain killers."
"You can't go to sleep yet." Raph said "You haven't told us who's the best and the worst yet."
"We'll get to them," Mason raked his hand through his hair again "Right after Pop tells me which villain he would like me to talk about."
"Okay, Draco and the Ultimate Ninja."
"Alright," he cocked his head to the side "Be honest with me guys, did these two guys look absolutely awesome when they were all fused and mashed together like that."
"Hell yeah, they looked awesome like that, but what does that have to do with anything."
"Nothing I just wanted to know. Now, Draco was holding a grudge against Splinter and the Ultimate Ninja was holding a grudge against Uncle Leo. Again two more bad guys with no lives so they have to hate… on you guys of course. Cause you guys attract haters no matter what you do."
"This is true." Raph stated smugly
"There is one thing that was bugging me a bit. Now remember Pop, I love you."
Mikey raised an eye ridge "I love you too." He stated cautiously.
"Good so don't hate me for what I'm about to say. How in the world did you manage to win in the Battle Nexus Tournament? Over Uncle Leo no less."
Raph burst out laughing while Don and Leo stuck with chuckling "Are you saying that I am not able to beat Leo in a fight."
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying."
Mikey turned his blue gaze to his son, who in turn tried to make himself smaller by slouching further in the couch. "Remember, you said you loved me." Mikey crossed his arms and turned away from him. Mason pouted and turned to Leo "So how did you end up losing?"
"I was poisoned." he answered with slight bitterness in his voice
"What? Who poisoned you?" Mason asked getting all overly excited now.
"The Ultimate Ninja."
"Hmmm? Interesting." he said "You guys should wanna take me to go meet this guy?"
"Why?" Leo asked slightly confused.
"So I can kick him in his fricken throat for poisoning you."
"Hey, hey, hey now, there's no need for that violence now." Mikey said "He's good now."
"That's what they want you to think. Come on, let me kick him."
"No"
"In the stomach?"
"No"
"On the side?"
"No"
"On the shin?"
"No Mason"
Mason gave an overly exaggerated groan, complete with him rolling off the couch onto the floor and kicking and whining "Now your ass can stay down there."
"Okay Daddy" Mason used his sweet little child voice "He really is upset that I said that about his fighting."
"Hey Mike, don't ignore your son, he's injured."
"Forget it Uncle Don," he waved it off "He can't stay mad at me forever, which is a well-known fact." Mason continued on "Anyway the Ultimate Ninja and Draco can go and kill themselves."
"Why are you so vicious?" Mikey asked
"I don't know what you're talking about"
"Oh really: Kill themselves" Don repeated
"Kick him in the throat." Raph reiterated
"Seek death" Leo added
"Alright, I get it. This is your fault." He pointed an accusing finger at Don
"W-what? Me? What did I do?" Don sputtered
"You gave me drugs."
"Well would you rather be in pain?" he asked
Mason shut up at that "No" he mumbled
"Exactly."
Mason huffed and crossed his arms.
"Hey, is it time yet?" Raph asked
"Yes," Mason exclaimed suddenly "It is time for me to tell you who I think is the best and the worst villain"
XXX
Told you. Absolute randomness.
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