Paneau: capitol city of Dalon
Rys'tihn Manor
5.4 APC

Though she had taken a few minutes to carefully look in on Derek and Dirani as they slept, it was taking even longer for Elena to muster enough courage to enter her own bedroom. She could sense that Koril was still inside, but he was...idle, awake but completely unaware that she was standing just beyond the door. Anxiously trembling, she struggled to swallow a hard lump in her throat, a thousand different thoughts racing through her mind. Her wedding ring, a Hoth Diamond solitaire, easily slipped about on her finger as she nervously played with it, realizing for the first time just how thin she'd become during her mission. Her constant worrying about Koril and her children must have taken such a drastic physical toll on her that she hadn't noticed before.

Setting her jaw as she took in and held a final shaky breath, she depressed the panel beside the door which slid it open with a soft whoosh. It was dark inside, but what she could see of their room with the hallway's lighting filtering in behind her looked just as she had left it almost two years ago. As her eyes continued adjusting to the darkness, she saw that at the back of the room, the balcony doors were wide open to the cold night outside...and Koril was sitting on the edge of their bed with his back to her, looking through the doors out into the early dawn's purple sky. He didn't move or even flinch, seeming to have not heard the door open or close behind him at all. The frigid air that filled the room made Elena shake even more as she stepped in further, her heart pounding in her chest...

"...Koril?"

He only moved his head, turning an ear partially back toward her, but appearing to dismiss what he heard after a few tense moments, he returned to his previous position, becoming still once more. Did he not believe she was actually in the room?

She could hardly find her voice. "Koril...I'm right here. I know that this has been so hard for you, but...please...talk to me..."

Again he turned his head slightly back to her when she spoke, but he remained wordless as he leaned forward and held his head in his hands, propping himself up with his elbows on his knees. Feeling her eyes beginning to sting with forming tears, she continued into the room toward him, though her legs felt heavy as durasteel. After what felt like an eternity, she stood just in front of him, and still he was unresponsive to her presence. Though she was afraid of startling him, she slowly sank to her knees at his feet and looked up into his eyes, not entirely shocked to find them unfocused and distant. Though his expression reflected the anguish and turmoil she could easily sense flowing from him, he seemed to be staring straight through her without even realizing it, and it wasn't the first time she'd seen him like this. Against her better judgment, she reached a trembling hand up to his face, gently placing her palm against his icy cold cheek...

She was expecting a more...dramatic reaction, but the instant she touched his skin, he closed his eyes as he drew in and let go of a long, deep breath. She could feel his tension leaving him as he released, his body sagging with fatigue, but as he opened his eyes, the change was immediately noticeable. Though his irises were black and had lacked depth for years, she had learned to read his eyes in other ways; he looked genuinely surprised to see her kneeling in front of him, but he was silent until he brought his hand down from his head to lightly grip her wrist, finally recognizing her presence there in front of him.

"Elena... You're home."

With a weak, pained smile, she nodded, delicately running her thumb over his cheek to comfort him. His skin was so cold under her hand, colder than she remembered even when he had been in a coma more than four years prior, worrying her more than his apparent confusion and disorientation. "Koril, you're freezing..."

Considering her words for a moment, he looked up at the open balcony doors behind her, and she could see the comprehension on his face as he deduced why the room's temperature was so abnormal. His mental faculties seemed to be returning to him slowly, but she wished there was some way she could speed it up to keep him talking. She saw a heavy blanket laying over the back of a nearby chair, and as she got to her feet to retrieve it, Koril stopped her as he tightened his grip on her wrist with sudden urgency. He was looking up at her with unrestrained fear before he swiftly stood, as well, stepping closer to her.

"Don't go."

Though surprised by how quickly he moved, she met his intense gaze again, feeling her uncertainty about his love for her dissolving the longer they stood together in meaningful silence. Careful not to upset him further, she gently loosened his hold on her wrist and held his hand instead, lightly tugging him toward the chair with her so she wouldn't have to go far from him. The more he came to his senses and the more he moved, she noticed, the more he began to shiver, as if he was for the first time feeling the cold air through the light sleepwear he had on. After depressing the control panel to close the balcony doors behind her, she grabbed the blanket off the chair and wrapped it tightly around him, bringing him back to their bed to sit and hopefully eventually sleep. He followed her silent directions obediently, his eyes never leaving her as though he feared she would disappear if he did. Did he still not believe that she was really there?

Once she ensured that the blanket remained secure around him, she sat closely beside him, brushing her fingers lightly over his cheek. She was glad to feel that he was warming up, but her expression didn't remain positive for long. Though the look of relief and contentment in his eyes said more than she had gotten out of him for months during their transmissions, he still hadn't actually spoken more than five words, and there was so much she needed to know...

"Koril," she began as gently as she could, "...what has been going on with you? Why haven't you said anything to me?" She had to pause as another lump formed in her throat, reflecting her returning anxiety. "...I thought you had...given up on us, on me." After thinking a moment more, though, and considering the terrified, reticent look in his eyes, she was beginning to piece it together. "...you didn't think you were actually talking to me, did you?"

Genuine realization rolled over his face as he shook his head, but his expression quickly returned to shocked sorrow as he struggled to explain himself. Though his mouth moved to form words, he made no sound for a long, tense minute until he regained his voice, trembling even more than before.

"I heard you... I did, but...I...I was never sure..."

At a loss for words once more, he trailed off as the same distant look returned to his eyes. Trying to keep him focused, though, she caressed his cheek again and looked into his eyes, hesitantly continuing for him.

"...those voices again? That's what this is about?"

He immediately locked gazes with her again as he nodded, brought back to her by her touch. "They returned...even louder...after you left."

"Oh, Koril," she soothed, still stroking his face as her voice was moved with pity. "Why didn't you tell me? At the very least, you could have told Rech or Mand, and they would've done anything they could to help you."

But he rebutted immediately. "I didn't want them to."

Though he said nothing more, she had an idea what would have prevented him from involving their friends...

"Asking for help does not mean you're weak, Koril. The fact that you even need help right now means that you are stronger. Your Force-sensitivity has opened you to things you haven't been able to comprehend, and there is no shame in needing an extra hand to control it. I'm sorry I haven't been here to help you and teach you what you need to know -"

She stopped herself, though, as he continued to shake his head, and only after she remained silent, wordlessly pleading for his answer did he speak again, though he struggled to.

"That's...not why..." Visible fear returned to his expression as he went on reluctantly, heightening her anxiety. "I started hearing...Deilia...her voice, and I don't know how, but I could tell that she was in trouble... She needs help, and...I was trying to listen for more, for anything that would tell me where she is...and...I got lost in it." If she hadn't been able to sense the intense emotion radiating from him, she wouldn't have understood what he spoke well below a faint whisper. "I'm sorry..."

With his sincere, heartfelt apology and the revelation that their lengthy separation was not the root cause of his distance as she had thought, she couldn't withhold her own emotions any longer. She broke down into sobs of relief, allowing all the tension and worry of the past months to fall freely as heavy tears from her eyes. Her entire body shook as she sat beside him, and though she began to lean against him, he stood from her side without a word, slowly stepping toward the balcony. With his back to her again, he was staring out the closed transparisteel doors, quieting her sobs and concerning her even more.

"...Koril, don't leave, please..."

"I hurt you," he continued with pain and regret as obvious on his face as in his voice as he turned back to face her, still weakly holding the blanket around himself. "How can you...why wouldn't you want me to leave?

Wanting only to calm him as she easily felt his deepening anguish, she, too, got up from the bed and stood just in front of him. His eyes were again beginning to express his lost, broken spirit, even as she gingerly ran her fingers across his cheek. She softened her voice with such heartfelt care, she wasn't even sure she had spoken aloud to him, perhaps instead communicating her words through the Force. "It's okay... It'll be okay..."

But he shook his head, his eyes sharpened and intensely focused on her once more. "No, no, it's not okay. I've...no excuse..."

"Koril, stop," she demanded with sudden strength that even surprised her as she gently cupped his face with her hands. "Do you hear me? Stop." Even though she knew he had to feel her shaking, she remained entirely intent on relieving his escalating distress instead. With her volume quieted again, she carefully studied his unique onyx eyes as she hadn't been able to for years. "I can sense...everything you're feeling right now...and it's crushing me."

His only response was even more guilt, but as tears again silently fell down the side of her face, she gently pulled him closer, lifting herself up onto her toes to softly kiss him. Like the air in their room, his lips were still icy cold, and though she wanted more, she refrained, leaning back from him just slightly to meet his gaze again. He still seemed so...desolate and miserable, but she could tell his heart rate was slowing the longer she stood with him just so...

"I will help you," she continued at a whisper. "I will help you find her."

Taken by surprise by her pledge, he furrowed his brows. "Why? Why would you do that?"

He knew full well her relationship with her sister-in-law was...rocky at best, especially after how the Ghost Heir had treated her during her pregnancy with Dirani. However, Elena had in her own mind settled her major issues with Deilia, choosing to overlook them in favor of appreciating the insurmountable task Koril's twin sister faced every day. "Though I've not agreed with...most of her methods," she continued softly, "I can't ignore the fact that she has sacrificed so much for us...rescuing you, me, and Dirani from the wreckage of the Driftdance, and then protecting you and Derek in the hangar..." After releasing a shaky breath as those memories returned to her so vividly, her voice hardened with resentment. "She didn't deserve what they did to her." Feeling him calming even more as she spoke, she was beginning to relax herself, allowing a small smile as she continued. "And she's your sister. Nothing will ever change that."

As another long silence stretched between them, she could sense his tension slowly easing its grip on him, his shoulders sagging with fatigue that had imprisoned him for so long. She lifted herself back up onto her toes to get closer to him once more, gently touching her forehead to his as she had done countless times before. In such an emotional moment, she hardly breathed, partially out of relief, but also in fear of missing anything he might say. Instead of more words from her, though, she focused on creating a stronger connection between them in the Force, allowing him to feel only the deep love and affection she had been unable to express to him since he had closed himself off. His heart had so suddenly and so heavily been laden with guilt in the span of only a few minutes as they talked, but she was doing everything in her power to reverse it...

Comforted even more by her touch and her efforts he still couldn't fully grasp, he kept his eyes closed as his breathing slowed to a restful pattern, but his voice, while quiet, was sharper than she had yet heard from him. "My mind hasn't been this clear...in a very long time."

With her hands still on each side of his face, she tilted his head down to her slightly, planting a soft, gentle kiss on his forehead. "I will help you with that, too."

But when she met his gaze again, his sadness and guilt had returned, dulling his voice as it trembled. "...how can I ask you to forgive me for what I've done? How could I ever make it up to you?"

Moved with overwhelming compassion, she took him up in an earnest, passionate kiss that she had withheld earlier, even though tears had again begun to stream from her eyes. She released him quickly, though, taking in a shaky breath as she looked back up into his eyes...

"Just...hold me."

Hesitating only a brief moment, he enveloped her in a tight embrace, easily draping the blanket that still hung around his shoulders over her, as well. She tucked her head under his chin as she wrapped her arms around his chest, holding her breath with the fear that a single sound from her would ruin the moment she had only imagined for months. Feeling his heart beating against hers, she focused on it, listening to its slow, even rhythm...but the more she paid attention to his physical state, the more she realized just how tired and weak he was from his own prolonged torment.

"You're exhausted," she whispered with care as she looked back up at him. "I can feel it."

He nodded faintly, longingly gazing at their bed behind her. "I haven't slept much." As she began to tug him back toward it, though, he glanced back out the balcony doors, gauging the early morning hour. The sky had lightened considerably during their lengthy discussion, almost reaching daybreak, and he shook his head to deny her intention. "I have meetings...later this morning..."

"Admiral Sokol can take your place and fill you in later," she bargained softly, continuing to pull him to the bed. But when he continued to resist, she held his gaze intently, making her tone more insistent yet still gentle. "Koril, you need rest. If you want me to help you find Deilia, you need to be able to focus. There's only so much you can force your mind to do without it being properly rested. Okay?"

Though he was reluctant to answer, she was able to bring him the rest of the way to their bed, sitting him down on his side of it. She again brought her hand up to his face, caressing his cheek as he closed his eyes. With her touch, he seemed to give in, releasing a long, heavy breath as he lay back onto the pillows with the blanket still wrapped around him. Looking forward to sleep herself, she forewent changing out of her Jedi traveling robes, save for kicking off her boots and removing her utility belt. Settling her lightsaber on her small bedside table as she had done for years out of habit, she, too, climbed into bed, laying next to him on her side to face him.

Once again, she read nothing but fear in his eyes, and though she had an idea why, she patiently waited for him to speak.

"...you'll still be here when I wake up?"

Despite feeling the weight of her own fatigue, she smiled wanly and nodded, lightly tracing the side of his face with her fingertips. "I'll be right here, I promise."

Seeming to accept her pledge, he relaxed only slightly, though still holding her gaze. Another lengthy silence between them found her almost asleep...

"I love you."

Having waited an untold number of months to hear those words from him, her eyes teared up in long-awaited elation as she moved even closer against him, leaning over him to kiss him sweetly once more. "I love you, too." As she gently settled her head on his shoulder, she sent a short message through the Force to Mand before she delicately lulled her husband and herself into an easy, peaceful sleep they both so desperately needed.

Though just downstairs in the Manor's banquet hall for breakfast with the rest of the staff, Mand's thoughts were far from focused on anything within its walls until Elena's silent message reached her, startling her out of her reverie just enough to elicit a subtle gasp.

Just about to eat another bite of his breakfast as he sat beside her, Rech took notice. "Mand?"

Looking over at him, Mand smiled broadly with relief. "They're okay."

A warm smile spread across his face, as well, as he nodded, understanding her meaning. "Good." He let go of a long sigh to release his tension that had been building since Elena had returned, but sitting on the other side of him, Cordira earned his attention once more. "Don't play with your food, Cordira. If you don't like it, you can get something else."

Almost five and a half and already developing quite an attitude, the girl took another bite, doing so dramatically and grudgingly. Just next to her, Derek watched her carefully and laughed heartily at her antics, mimicking her with even more exaggerated gestures and chomping sounds. Across the table from him with Dirani seated on her lap, Kollie gave him a stern look.

"Derek, we are not rude at the table. You eat politely, or you won't get any playtime after school today."

Saddened and embarrassed by getting in trouble, Derek shrank in his seat, looking down into his lap. "Yes, Kollie."

Cordira began to look triumphant for escaping possible punishment from her nanny, but as she turned back to Rech, he gazed down at her with an equally harsh look.

"That goes for you, too, young lady."

Soured, as well, Cordira replaced her utensils on the table, crossing her arms in a huff. Before Rech could scold her again, though, she left her seat, tossing her long, braided fire-red hair behind her as she headed toward the main atrium with Derek close in tow. "I'm ready for school!"

Frustrated with her, Rech began to stand to follow Cordira, but Mand gripped his arm before he got up, shaking her head. "She's tired, Rech. She's suffered just as much as he has through all this."

Though he seemed to agree as he returned to his plate, he sighed irritatedly. "I'm tired of her attitude. If it keeps up much longer..."

"It'll get better," she reassured him with a gentle squeeze of his arm. She kept her expression hopeful and pleasant, hoping to ease his anxiety, and he did eventually calm. Helping Dirani to finish her breakfast, Kollie stood from the table and kindly excused herself, chasing after the older two to begin their day. Rech watched her with the three children briefly, but as he returned to Mand, he furrowed his brows, seeming to have picked up on some hint...

"Something's different about you."

Surprised by his statement, she felt a flutter low in her abdomen, and she wasn't entirely sure it was just nerves. She kept her expression neutral, though, curious what had caught his attention. He couldn't have figured it out yet, could he? She was only just starting to show...

"You've hardly been here all morning. Your mind's somewhere else entirely."

Thankful for the chance to avoid questions concerning her health, she nodded, smiling as she let go of a slow breath. "I'm sorry, I've just been running through the past couple years. Master Lithess will be arriving later today. I've asked him to take Ri to Coruscant...so she can build her lightsaber."

Rech considered it a moment. "You think her training is complete?"

"Not entirely, but I do believe that she's progressed enough...that it's time for the next step."

With only brief hesitance, he nodded and smiled in agreement, his eyes beaming with pride for both of them. He stood from his seat and leaned over to kiss her sweetly before he left. "I should get to the Medical Center; they're expecting me for the first shift. I'll see you later tonight."

As he walked away, she anxiously placed her hand atop her stomach, deciding she would finally tell him later that night.