Title: How to get mistaken for being homosexual

Genre: Romance, Comedy, High school, Drama

Rating: Rated R, for Unrated. Or Um, Just lots of sex in the future (maybe)

Warnings: Swearing, sex, gay-bashing, guy/guy, uh yeah.

Thank you for the reviews & favs! :')

How to Get Mistaken for Being Homosexual

Kagami/Kuroko

Class Two: Disgusted?

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Kuroko grew up learning very few things from his idiotic wrestling obsessed father, one: Wrestling, no valid argument allowed, is the best sport in history. Hands down. (Kuroko being a very dumb child, had rebutted with a small roll of his eyes and a whisper of; "Basketball is much better") his father had not only been heart-broken when Kuroko didn't grow up big like his father, but tiny and decided to play the sport his father hated most; Basketball.

Two: Not matter what you say with your tacky little monotonous voice— twinkies, will take over the world. (Kuroko had chosen not to comment on such a retarded thing, merely staring blankly back at his father.)

And three: Homosexuality is okay, if you aren't homo yourself, okay? At least follow this one rule Kuro-chan! (Kuroko wasn't sure how he'd end up straight if his dad gave him such an absurd nickname.) The blue-haired boy had been tired, and his 8 year old mind could only take so much of his dads retarded babble, so with sleep hazed eyes at 3am, Kuroko had agreed.

'Whatever.' He had said, his dad had cheered for getting through to his kid, as if.

Kuroko isn't disgusted with homosexuality, or lesbians, or bi's or any of that shit, contrary, he just doesn't give a fuck — really. So when a newbie training to be on the basketball team,

avoided him in every possible way believing that he's gay because he was reading a BL novel, Kuroko couldn't help but laugh.

Hyuuga was considerably scared.

Kuroko, just doesn't laugh. Kuroko laughing means very, very bad things for the poor sucker involved.

I have a story to tell dad tonight, he thought with amusement as he pulled on his basketball jersey and sauntered over to Riko and Hyuuga's side, letting his amused eyes pier at Kagami for good luck. Maybe I could shut up dad with the same trick.

"Alright boys!" Aida boomed, her hands on her hips as the whistle against her flat chest gleamed evilly —or it did in Kuroko's mind, at least— Kuroko looked over at her, wondering if he had to take off his shirt as well, before just deciding to use his invisibility to his likings. Actually, he wondered looking at Kagami's bare muscled chest, I could work with this—where's that idiot Kise?

Kuroko knows Kise, he knows with his average-intelligence of evil that Kise likes him, and he knows it's bad to mess with feelings, but dammit— he's bored!

He sighed, it's kise's fault anyways, he reassured himself.

Kise had declared because his prestigious school starts tomorrow, he would —bother— accompany Tetsuya. Kuroko suddenly thankful to the idiots idiocy looked around the gym for his old teammate, smirking when his target came into sight, herds of fans girls with him, but still in sight.

He waved over the blonde — hoping this wouldn't back fire.

Kise, gladly skipped over, a smile stretched on his perfect model face.

"Kurokocchi is calling me over! What is it? Ill help you!" Kise bounced, stopping right in front of the blue-haired boy, Kuroko blinked a few times before tilting his head back to gaze up at the model batting his big sky-blue eyes before tugging at the bottom of his shirt.

"I can't get it off, help me." Kise blinked a few times — honestly confused with the request, before shrugging it off, it's not often Kuroko asks him for help, or lets him touch him willingly.

Kuroko raised his arms over his head, looking like a child ready to be unclothed before bed time, Kise chuckled softly before grabbing the end of the shirt and pulling it off swiftly — well, he tried, two hands placed onto his shoulder jerked him from his motion though, stopping the shirt just over Kuroko's tiny perky pink nubs, unconsciously he licked his gracious model plump lips. Damn, he thought glancing over Kuroko's pale chest, delicious.

just what is Kuroko playing at?

Oh— only if he knew.

"K-Kise," Tetsuya whimpered out, whimpered! Kise's eyes widened — trying to hide an involuntary shiver along his spine. "Is there something on my neck?"

Kise gulped, shaking his head. Kuroko with a seductive voice doesn't bid well with him... Or his pants.

"It burns..." Kuroko said softly, too softly, before sliding his hands down Kise's chest, fingers brushing over his nipples before looking up from under his blue bangs, eyes seductive and gleaming. "Can you lick it?"

"L-Lick?" Kise choked out, "lick what?"

Kuroko licked his lips in answer, Kise almost dived in — if it wasn't for the awkward cough beside him signaling him back to reality, he looked over — a tall red-headed freshmen with stained pink cheeks pointed awkwardly towards Riko, Kise almost growled at the kid, almost.

Can't he see Kuroko is busy here?

Oh yes, Tagami can see it — it's not like he had asked to be chosen by Aida to go 'fetch' Kuroko from his gayness with Kise, the whole basketball team had choked, except Hyuuga whom seemed honestly curious.

With much reluctance —which no man should've shown from molesting another man— Kise moved away from Kuroko, looking over the slightly still blushing blue-haired boy, he leaned forward his blonde locks softly tickling the side of Kuroko's face, breathing breathlessly into the ear of the smaller male.

"Later."

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"Alright maggots!" Riko boomed her short brown locks bobbing with the action as she pulled her arm from resting on her hip to allowing her to point sharply at a freshman hoping to join her team.

The freshman gulped, leaning back as if hoping to avoid her predatory eyes. Kuroko pitied the guy, there's not escaping Aida.

"Today," she said simply as looked over her new recruits, "you guys will go against the second years."

"What?" Majority of the boys whined loudly in protest, beginning to whisper to themselves as the second years stepped forward, Kuroko sighed. He hates hard work.

"Aida—"

"No." She said sternly pushing past the blue-haired boy, looking at him from the corner of her eye and began to smirk, "you were disregarding me and acting all homo with Kise— you will be punished."

He frowned.

"But I'm doing something entertai—"

"Homo." She stated dully, her eyes glinting in an evil manor that had the teen taking a step back. "Or else, your plan will be ripped too shreds by me."

He sighed rolling his pretty coloured eyes before dragging his feet back towards the direction of first years who seemed to inch away from him as far as possible, he shrugged. Less socializing for him. Yep-eee.

With as much excitement as he could muster (which isn't very much) he grabbed a ball, tossing it over to Hyuuga before dropping down a bit, bending his knees.

"Basketball," he wondered, his fathers words echoing in his head, "I wonder why I hate it so much— now."

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"Kise." He said simply scaring the male enough to jump 3 feet into the air —quite literally, too.—

"K-kurokocchi!"

"Will you date me?"

"Ha?" Kise asked — blinking a few times too make sure he wasn't in one of his dreams he's had one-too many times. The blue haired boy just stared back at him blankly (not the lovely lust filled expression and rosy cheeks later) no matter how many times Kise pinched his right thigh.

"Are you high?" He asked carefully, first the almost make-out session, and now his 3 years long crush is asking him out, something must be wrong with today; something in the water, maybe?

"No, why?" Kuroko asked his brows furrowing at the blonde's conclusion of the situation.

Kise just shrugged before looking around the area for any camera men, or something where they'd pop out and go "surprise, this really isn't the best fucking day of your life, sorry!" But there wasn't. Kuroko had brought them to a secluded place, behind the building where they place all the equipment for clubs and P.E, Kise knew he should've ran away on impulse earlier.

"Just..." Kise paused re-considering his words, "you're asking me out, you've rejected me, how many times?"

"Are you saying no?" The teen seemed honestly baffled— Kise shook his head frantically,

"No! Just..."

"Um..." An awkward voice coughed from the other side, cheeks flushed and eyes down-casted, the spiky red bits of hair managing to hide most of his tomato red face.

Kise groaned. Stupid fucking guy. He wanted to scream at the interruption, but kept his lips sealed as he watched Kuroko from the corner of his eyes.

Kagami, Kuroko thought with no-tone to his inner voice, he is very excited though, his plan turned out better than expected.

"What?" The model practically snapped, wanting to hit his head against the red bricks laying in wait for his pretty model forehead. Kagami shifted awkwardly on his large feet, looking anywhere but them, before shifting the objects in his arms, obviously wondering if he should just run, cause the look Kise is giving him made him reconsider his decision to break the confession moment of the homo's...

"I'm lost." He exposed with quick spoken words, nervousness showing in his voice. Kuroko stepped forward, away from Kise (much too Kise's dismay) and grabbed two of the basketballs in Kagami's arms, before stepping back and leading the gigantic male towards the storage room.

With a look over his shoulder —

"Never mind." Kuroko said, looking down and stomping away, a about-too-have-a-nervous-breakdown-from-homophobe-ness Kagami following after. The red-head still seemed pretty torn and conflicted over the close call too touching Kuroko earlier.

"I-Isn't that a bit um, harsh?" Kagami finally said, internally hating himself for starting conversation with the gay guy in front of him. But it had been harsh, and even though Kise was about to make-out with his culinary arts partner — Kagami is a man of justice, and justice needs him (no matter if justice may be gay or not), he will solve it.

"Probably." Kuroko said simply before shrugging it off and pointing to the looked storage room, handing over the balls — making sure too brush over the sweaty skin of Kagami, the male flinched, physically.

"Are you homophobic?" The boy seemed honestly intrigued, "my dad is too, I just pretend I'm homo to spite him."

"Too spite him?" Kagami wondered — a tone of disapproval in his voice, Kuroko shrugged.

"I like messing with stupid people, you included, sorry."

The red-head's temple twitched, annoyed.

"Me? Included?" He growled throwing the door open and chucking the basketballs into the nearest empty basket before turning on his heel and jabbing his thumb into the squishy chest of the other, "listen here you little fake-homo," he hissed breath barely above a whisper, "I am not a play-thing to—"

His words were cut off by a soft pair of lips pressed against his, his eyes widened, time stopped.

The lips left, blue eyes boring into his with shining curiosity — "are you disgusted?"

Before Kagami could stopped his words or his damn traitorous hand! His palm was pressed against the pale cheek off his attacker, leaning forward to breathe against the others intoxicating lips — "no".

He pressed for another kiss, to say he didn't enjoy it would be a complete lie, actually, he liked it too much, regardless, Kuroko was the one pushed away in the end, followed by the actions of Kagami running and screaming for dear life as if Kuroko had placed a gun to his temple or something, the teen sighed.

"How bothersome."

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"Kuroko, Kuro-chan? Kuro-chaaan!" A grown man whined beside the stoic teen, flailing his jangly arms and jumping circles around the dazed blue-haired boy: his son. "Please pay attention to daddy, please?" He whined stopping in front of his son's face to be face-to-face with the boy, Kuroko didn't even blink in acknowledgement.

"What's wrong honey?" A soothing (yet monotone) voice asked from the kitchen, sending the brunette's gaze onto his blue-haired wife, he smiled radiantly.

"Kuro-chan seems to be bothered, by something."

Said subject smirked — obviously waking from his day-dream, blue hues locked onto his fathers matching pair. "Dad" he said joyfully, too happily, his father frowned taking a step back from the boy.

"Can you listen to my problems?"

Do I want too? His dad thought with grief, watching in horror as his son's smile merely stretched.

Kuroko doesn't smile it's like — a law.

"Let's talk rhetorically," Kuroko said simply, crossing his dainty smooth arms over each other, crossing his ankles just slightly, "let's say someone is pretending to be something they aren't really just to spite someone, but then suddenly this person likes the person they were messing with... Well not really, just they kinda messed up their plans, and their amusement is gone... How do you lie to get them to be scared of you again?"

His dad tilted his head, eyes blinking with idiocy, Kuroko's mother from the kitchen called out:

"Make a knew plan, a smarter one, correct yourself."

The teen hummed at his mothers words, grumbling something along the lines of, "I don't think Kagami-kun is that stupid mother."

"What is this plan?" His dad asked ears perking up too 'Kagami-kun', Kuroko blinked once — then twice, before shrugging.

"I was reading a BL novel and accidentally tripped on some huge red-headed guy named Kagami-kun and he wanted to read the book, so I decided I'd mess with him for awhile, so currently I'm making out with some guy that likes me to mess with his homophobic little head, but sadly I accidentally spilled that I like messing with stupid people and I asked Kagami if he was homophobic, and kissed him."

His dad screeched, "K-Kiss? Wait a moment how many guys have you been kissing?" His words went through deaf ears, continuing, looking towards his dad with his normal blank face,

"But then Kagami grabbed my face and forced me to kiss him again, but then he pushed me away screaming like a girl and ran away."

"Like a girl?" His mom seemed amused, his father's face paling.

"Like a girl." Kuroko confirmed.

"Kuro-chan you promised to never be gay! Why, you're even making out with g-guys!"

Kuroko and his wife slowly turned to face the man, faces impassive as they said at the same time, in the same tone,

"Because its fun."

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"I feel stupid." He stated dully as he pushed away the darker males hand from his face, Momoi beside the boy laughed evilly, pulling out another piece of 'equipment', Kuroko pouted.

"You asked her to help you, what else did you expect?" Aomine said blandly as he slumped back into the plastic chair, picking up a magazine from the coffee table, Momoi scowled shooting her childhood friend a dirty look.

"I am helping him," she grunted sliding something across Kuroko's thin lips, before plopping a wig onto the boys head, "he said he wanted me to help him scare someone, that's what I'm doing."

"But he actually looks like a girl, a cute fucking one too." Aomine dead-panned, eyeing Kuroko warily as if mentally reminding himself that Kuroko is a he. But damn this he is a good piece of meat, his male sides could only take so much.

"Thanks" Kuroko drawled, unamused with Aomine before standing up and swatting away the girls hands, she pouted.

"No more?" She questioned, capping the thing and placing it in her bag, Kuroko nodded.

"So what are you going to do, anyways?" Aomine asked flipping through the magazine's contents as he looked from the corner of his eye to see Kuroko tapping his fingers against something in a drumming sound, a happysound. Aomine laughed internally, poor sucker.

He knows when Kuroko is formulating a plan. The blue-haired teen looked up before grumbling;

"Something entertaining."

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Thanks for all the love! ;/; 3