Welcome to the preparation before the big battle! Yes, the long boring part where all we do is develop the characters and talk about how we're all gonna die! YAY!

WARNING! INTENSE SWEARING IN THIS CHAPTER!

…I own nothing

Chapter 32

The Calm Before the Storm

Everyone had their own little inner monologues and conversations before the battle. First we'll do the monologues.

Zim

Oh I will enjoy bringing them down. The Tallest used me. I've done a lot against the Empire… I know that… But none of them remember the good, do they? They don't remember the assassin on Devastis who was stopped in the power out. They don't remember who it was that obliterated the race of Evil. The Clarlacks. Such horrid beasts!

And now the Mighty Zim shall exterminate them for their evil! Now They shall pay! …And my own evils shall be repented. I've done a lot of bad things and I've hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve it.

So I shall take part in the destruction of the almighty Tallest. They shall fall before me. "Defective" Am I?

I feel. They don't.

I have what they do not. Who're the defectives now?

Tak

Disgusting! The Tallest decide to kill me for what? FOR QUITTING A TERRIBLE JOB! It was bad enough that the control brain made me wait SEVENTY YEARS! I hunted Zim for fifty… and now this! I WILL RIP OUT THEIR SPINES AND USE THEM AS FLOSS!

And then what?

What after I take out my revenge? Who will deliver the killing blow?

Will I even survive?

Nah. None of us will.

Skoodge

Why am I doing this? Cause the Tallest threw me into Blorch. I'm wanted because I'm SHORT. What is WRONG with them? Does tall mean smart or strong?

…Tallest Purple pretty much answers that question.

Well… I hope that somebody on Irk is with our cause. I'd hate to be part of an endangered species.

Nny

This should be neat. I'm about to help save the universe from an evil empire! Fun!

…Does the universe really want to be saved?

Maybe not. I hope so. I'd hate to save something, only to find that it should have died.

Well, on the plus side, I can release a lot of excess stress.

Let's see… Butterfly knives, sickles, salad tongs, spork…

I'm set!

Gaz

I'm surrounded by nutcases. Great. At least my game still works.

The rest of her thoughts have been censored, because they're too damn scary!

Lard Nar

Soon the evil Irken Empire shall fall. Or we will. Probably us. At any rate, the least we'll get to do is spit in the Irkens' faces a little. And maybe even burn the Tallests' snacks!

Small voice: And how do you plan on continuing your life after the Empire falls, IF the empire falls.

I'll probably end up helping a lot of the civilizations that the Irkens have enslaved getting back on their feet.

Small voice: They don't all have feet.

METAPHORICALLY!

Small voice: Okay! Sheesh…

Dib

"If I survive, I'll have enough evidence to prove the existence of alien life. I'll be famous! People might actually believe me! Well… Maybe not. Anyway, if I die, dad will make a clone of me that will probably be exactly the same.

"So It's kinda win-win.

"Well…Not really.

"Why am I talking out loud to myself again?"

While Dib ponders his way out of THAT quandary, let's see what Shast is thinking.

Pace. Stop. Think. Repeat. Pace. Stop. Think. Repeat. Over and over. I can't focus for some reason. I don't know which emotions are which, so I don't know what I'm feeling. It's rather annoying to be frank…

Who the hell is Frank anyway?

Ah, forget it. At least I have a basic knowledge of emotions.

I should thank Zim for uploading knowledge, and some of his memory into my mind. At least I can think on my own.

But what am I feeling? DAMN IT! Damn, damn, DAMN! DAMN IT ALL!

…Oh, I should also thank Zim for teaching me all known expletives in the universe.

So… here I go…

SHIT! DAMN! BLAST IT ALL! WHY CAN'T I FUCKING UDERSTAND! OF ALL THE THINGS ZIM DID FOR ME, THE ONE THING HE MISSED WAS GIVNG ME COMPLETE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OF MY FUCKING EMOTIONS!

"AAAAAK!" (This part was said aloud, but very softly)

X

So. I finally will be able to deal with my little demon. Except I shouldn't say little. More like, the size of the Irken empire…

Fuck. This is pissing me off. I am sure as hell annoyed by how long my Omega beam takes to charge… But it'll be fun to use…

Heheheh…

Oh lord, I'm doing evil laughter in my mind now. I must really be insane.

Eh, who cares?

Tina

I can't believe it. Kish is here, Sarkon is here, but on our side, mainly because he's bored, I'm starting to actually respect Zim. *Insert Shudder here*

Crud. This is not going well… And I'm ranting to myself silently. THAT makes me feel a lot less sane.

Oh to hell with it. Ranting feels nice.

The rant was so long it could never in your life be heard in a fanfiction.

…On to Shadow!

It seems that I shall finally get a chance to use some of my power. It has been a long time since I fried a few brains… I think that it'll be nice to vent some energy.

Yes, that's what I'll do.

Sklalians are very quiet in mind and body.

Anyway, Havel.

For being honest. THAT is what the Empire wants us dead for. Not for having traitorous feelings, but for speaking out. Many Irkens feel this way, but none of them dare say it. So they merely kill those that do and proclaim them 'Defective'. How long has it been this way…? Three hundred years? No… I remember it coming to pass when I was a smeet so…

Three hundred and Twenty-Seven Irken years. A very long time…

(A/N: Cookie for whoever does the math and figures out Havel's Earth age. HINT: Zim is one hundred and fifty some-odd Irken years old, but about 16 earth years)

And now we shall end this… How odd it feels. Odd. But good.

Gir

WAFFLES! I LIKE CHICKEN! WHERE ARE ALL MY DOOM CAKES?

OOO! Wassat? IT'S A TACO! TAACCOO! Oh wait, it's a goatman!

WHEHEEHEE! I gonna sing the doom song now! Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom ,doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom….

And so on.

Insert end of chapter here.

Please review.

…Why am I still here?

Why are you still reading!

AND WHY AM I STILL WRITING!