The Greatest Secret

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 149 (Auditions: Running into Trouble)

Within the hour, several people had performed and not one of them fit the bill. They did well on the first two songs, but when they got to Phil Collins, they choked. A couple people seemed to do badly on HighwaytoHell for Pete's sake! Freddie was rubbing his temples while Jonah was nonchalantly sipping some water. Sam was looking over the list of people and Carly was busy brushing her hair with a brush she carried around in her purse.

Freddie opened his eyes and moaned lightly, his head felt like a million hammers were striking down on his head. "We can't use the 'we'll call you' excuse anymore, can we? They're on to us." Jonah chuckled and Carly stopped what she was doing and stared at the stage. She nudged Sam, who promptly covered her mouth to stifle a laugh, then nudged Freddie. When he looked at the drums, he saw Principal Franklin seated at them. The corner of his lips twitched upwards as he straightened himself up. "What the…Principal Franklin, what are you doing?"

"He's here to audition, I think." The kindly principal looked up and smiled happily.

"Nah, I'm just here to liven up the beat, it seems everyone's tired out, so…I was in a band once." A chill ran down Freddie's spine as the color flushed from his face, he had a feeling this would lead to embarrassment. He didn't say anything and just waved his hand in the air, letting the Principal have his fun so everyone could relax. Principal Franklin looked up to Jeremy and called out to him. "Okay Jeremy, play the song!" Freddie raised an eyebrow and the others slowly looked to him as the tune LettheDrummerKick by Citizen Cope started to play from the speakers. He tilted his head to the side and listened as the Principal began to play, hitting the notes rather well.

"Well hell, he can play." The others murmured their agreements, the Principal was the best player thus far. Sure he wasn't auditioning, but as Freddie looked at the audience, he could see them cheering on and strumming with the beat. So the man's attempt to liven up the house really was working. He smiled and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. "All right, let's just relax for a few, then…"

"For the record, I love this song," Carly stated with a bright smile. Freddie's eyebrows rose and he chuckled, impressed that she knew the song. Citizen Cope was a fantastic band, at least in his eyes, a very inspirational one at that. They turned down their microphones so people didn't have to hear them, usually they kept it that way whenever someone was performing for them or when they just wanted to chat amongst each other. Carly leaned forward and looked over to Jonah. "You like this song?"

"It's fine," Jonah responded vaguely. Freddie stifled a snicker and slowly shook his head, amazed that Carly was still trying to figure out why Jonah didn't really seem to like her all that much. Then again, he seemed to be getting a little better with her and she was just trying to be friendly with him. "I'm impressed that the Principal can play the drums, that's all I'm going to say on the subject."

"I guess it goes without saying, older peoplecan play musical instruments." Sam looked to Freddie, showing him the curiosity in her eyes. He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, he knew she was curious about Carly's attempt to get to know Jonah. "So Jonah…Have you heard from Valerie?"

"Yep. She's doing just fine." Jonah's arms were folded across his chest and he appeared to be focusing on the Principal. "What about you, you doing all right these days? I got a question, how do you like surprises?"

"Yep, I'm doing fine. Surprises? Like what? I love surprises." Jonah nodded and leaned in towards Freddie, who had his eyes closed and a big grin plastered on his face. He already knew what Jonah was going to say, that Carly was in for a bigger surprise than she thought.

"Just wait till she sees Griffin on that stage." Yes, Freddie was going to enjoy that moment. After all, the very minute Griffin would step on that stage, he was certain Carly would die of shock. She'd have to try to not reveal anything crucial, such as the guy being her boyfriend. After all, if she wanted to succeed in the whole secret relationship thing, she needed to know how to do so. Experience truly would be the best teacher. "How do you think she'll react? Hugely, or not at all?"

"If she's smart, which I'm pretty certain she is, then she won't react at all." Jonah nodded and Sam snickered just a second. Carly stared at the three curiously, having not heard the conversation. She lifted her hand up to ask, but then brought it down. Chances were, whatever the joke, it was between them and not her. "Carly, you do know Jonah doesn't hate you, right?" Carly perked up momentarily and Jonah rolled his eyes to the side.

"He doesn't trust me, I know that."

"It's not so much you that he doesn't trust, but that's a conversation for another time. All right?" Carly pressed her lips together and slowly nodded her head, not wanting to get into any kind of debate or argument. He looked over to Principal Franklin and rubbed his chin skeptically. "How the hell does he know that song? I'm serious, the guy's been holding out on us."

"Well he's definitely loosening up the audience," Jonah commented. "I don't know why we didn't think of that before." After another minute, the principal finished and stood from the drums, bowing and smiling as the audience clapped for him. Freddie stood as the man walked over to him and shook his hand.

"Thanks for letting me do that, I was hoping to relax. Saw people getting a bit tired, so I figured I could go ahead and do that."

"Sure, thanks. It loosened everyone up well enough."

"Good. Continue on with your auditions, I hope you find a good drummer to help your band out." With that, the Principal departed and Freddie took up the list. He turned to the audience and gave them a pleasant smile.

"Well, that was relaxing, I hope you enjoyed it. We have next on the list…" He turned his eyes to the page and raised an eyebrow. "Stanley Howard?" He turned back to Jonah, who raised an eyebrow back at him. "Isn't that-"

"Okay children!" Mr. Howard's voice rang out from the stage and Freddie flinched his muscles. He twitched and slowly turned to the stage to see Mr. Howard with a red bandana, sleeveless jacket and denim blue jeans. "I'm going to teach you how to rock, oldschool."

"You're joking…" He winced as Mr. Howard sat and began smacking the drums and cymbals with the drumsticks. Hearing the students groan, Freddie quickly ran around the small booth and to the front of the stage. "Hey! Hey, no, no, get off the drums!"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you! I'm too busy rocking out!" He moaned and rolled his eyes. Was the teacher trying to ruin the auditions? Mr. Howard started beating the rightmost cymbal, causing Freddie to cup his hands over his ears. "This is how you rock out on the drums!" The old teacher then began blasting away on the large drum in front of him. "Pay attention in class students, especially music class, and one day you may be as good as I am!"

"Oh god."

Jonah looked back as the girls started trying to contain the audience, which was now starting to bellow out their displeasure. "Freddie! Do something already!" Freddie nodded and smacked his hand on the stage.

"Don't make me get up there!" He looked to the side and saw a few students actually walking out of the auditorium.

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Nah…" He moved his eyes frantically around the auditorium, trying to think of a way to get rid of Mr. Howard. He narrowed his eyes devilishly and slowly looked up to the tech booth where Jeremy was frantically holding his ears. He snapped his fingers and called out to him. "Jeremy, raise the intensity of the lights now!"

"What did you say? My ears are bleeding!"

"I said raise the damn intensity of the lights!"

"Oh! Okay!" Jeremy moved his hands away and quickly worked the controls. Mr. Howard looked up and shrieked as he fell backwards from the drums and on the floor. Freddie smirked and motioned Jonah over as the teacher started rolling, moaning in pain. As the students watched, Freddie and Jonah grabbed Mr. Howard by the arms and started dragging him out the doors.

"Sorry teach, this is a serious thing we're doing, we don't have any time to let you ruin the auditions." The man moaned as he stumbled out, rubbing his eyes vigorously. Freddie and Jonah gave each other a high five and went back to the booth as Jeremy lowered the intensity of the lights. "Okay guys, I'm sorry about that, I did not expect Mr. Howard to show up. Now, another thing…Jonah and I would prefer our drummer to be about our age, so if you're younger than fourteen and older than twenty, please leave. I know it seems harsh, but this is a high school band for a reason."

Some of the people in the auditorium did get up and leave because they were either too young or too old, but it was okay. Everyone understood and after that fiasco with the teacher, no one else wanted a repeat. Freddie ran his hand through his hand and sighed, they'd gotten through about seventy of the applicants and not one of the seven people he wanted to hear. Perhaps it was time to call on one of them and hear what they had to give. He decided to start with the three that were on his personal list that already signed up. "Okay, our next guy is Cort. If you're in the house still, you're up." Someone stood up and Freddie took his seat next to Jonah and Sam. "All right, let's see what this kid's got."

"He's one of the ones you wanted to see?" Sam asked curiously. Freddie nodded his head and she leaned back, anxious to see how good this person would be. "Awesome."

Damn Mr. Howard! Well, he's out for now.