The Greatest Secret
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly
A/N:
Chapter 150 (Auditions: Drummer 1, The 'Brilliant' Cort)
Freddie leaned back as Cort walked towards the stage, the guy was tall and thin with short brown hair. He hadn't really talked to Cort, but he did get the chance to see the guy play on his own. He looked cool, a lot of girls had been fawning over him earlier in the day. Perhaps the band could use someone who wasn't already either married or engaged. "Okay, so you're Cort?" Cort stood in front of the drums and nodded his head.
"Yup, that's me. I think." He paused as Cort rubbed his hair for a moment, then looked at his hand. "Hey, my hand is still clean!" Sam and Carly leaned their heads back and Jonah slowly looked up to Freddie. Freddie chuckled helplessly and crossed his arms over. Please let Cort be smarter than he was acting, that was the only thing he could think at the moment. He watched as Cort pointed at the lights. "Ooh colorful!" Jonah closed his eyes and chuckled, his vain tone battered Freddie in a soft spot. Sighing, he put his fingers to his forehead and breathed out.
"Cort, um, could you-" Cort put his hand to his forehead and Freddie cringed as several girls behind him squealed out and crooned. After a second, Cort smiled and waved at Freddie. He clicked his tongue and stared, pondering whether he should really give him a chance. When he heard Cort playing the drums solo, he knew he was good. Jonah once more looked to him and he shrugged his shoulders. "Well, maybe if he can play the drums well enough…" The girls looked up at Freddie as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay Cort, you're going to play the drums. I want you to first attempt Highway to Hell. Can you do that?"
"Highway to Hell? Sure!" Freddie smiled as Cort swung around to the drums and grabbed the drumsticks. The first thing Freddie took note of was Cort holding the drumsticks backwards. Judging by the groan that came from Jonah, it was clear he noticed it too. Was this some kind of joke? Cort held up his drumsticks and grinned a toothy white grin. "Highway to Hell!" The girls behind them cheered and Jonah quickly rubbed his ear, shouting out painfully.
Freddie lifted his eyes up and waited as Cort started smacking the drums and cymbals. It was the same repeated motion of striking the drum with one hand and the cymbal with the other. He slowly bowed his head into his hand and dropped his shoulders down. It was clear Cort wasn't playing the right song. "Jonah. What song is Cort drumming?"
"Uh…" Jonah looked up to Jeremy, who was staring at Cort with wide eyes. "Jeremy, what song is that?" Jeremy stopped playing the Highway to Hell song and played the song he thought the drums fit. As the music of OhSusannacame to Freddie's ears, he twitched and slowly lifted his head up.
"I don't get it. We asked him to play one song and he's…" Freddie cleared his throat and held his hand up, to which Jeremy automatically stopped the music. "Cort." Cort continued to drum, which further irritated Freddie. "Uh Cort, hey…" He waited and still the drummer kept on drumming. "Cort! Enough drumming!" With that, Cort smacked a cymbal and looked up with a grin.
"How was that? Highway to Hell!" The girls in the audience screamed while Carly and Sam both moaned in pain. He turned his head to the audience members and saw the majority of the guys in the audience were looking either bored, frustrated, bemused, or flat out pissed. He sighed and turned his head back to Cort.
"Okay Cort, um, buddy…that was not Highway to Hell." The applicant gasped and lowered his drumsticks. "Plus, you're holding your drumsticks backwards." He rubbed his thumb along his chin as Cort's face scrunched up with sorrow. Not wanting to offend him, he knew he should at least give him another chance. "You get three chances, Cort. That was your first. You screwed it up."
"Dang, do you have to be so hard on him?" Carly asked with sudden curiosity. "I know we've had a long day and all, but clearly he has something missing up there. Take it easy."
"If I did that Carly, he'd think being pampered was appropriate." Freddie moved his hands behind his waist and breathed in deep. "Okay Cort, this time make sure it's HighwaytoHell that you're drumming to. Got that?" Cort let out a big grin and held up his right drumstick, which was now properly positioned, though, his left drumstick was incorrectly positioned. Jonah smacked his forehead and Freddie closed his eyes as Jeremy started the music.
As the music started playing, Cort started off smacking a cymbal. Freddie's eyebrow arched up as Cort continued to smack the right drumstick on the drum every other second while hitting the cymbal over and over again. Occasionally Cort would smack one of the other cymbals with his usual drumming stick. Freddie held his hand out, baffled and curious. This was obviously not the right song. "Now what's he playing?" Jonah nearly smashed his hand on the booth as Sam's head fell backwards in the air. Carly sighed and looked up to Jeremy.
"What does it sound like to you?" Jeremy sighed and quelled the music for a moment. To Freddie and Jonah, it sounded like the drum beat to IShottheSheriff. Much to their chagrin and not surprisingly, that was the very song Jeremy decided to play. Freddie snapped his fingers in front of his chest as he looked down to where Carly was sitting. She met his eyes and shrugged. "Okay, so he's not quite getting the song. Maybe it is nerves?"
"Nerves? Well I can understand that…" He leaned forward and placed his hands on the booth, staring quietly at Cort. Could they even use him, really? If he was told to perform an actual song at a performance, would he know what he was performing? "After all the first guy who applied couldn't even play due to stage fright."
"Maybe try putting some sheet music in front of him to read off of?"
"There is…" They had a stand up for any drummers who didn't quite recognize the songs. They could play off it if they had to. Carly clicked her tongue as Freddie held his hand up. "Okay, okay! Enough, stop the music!" Jeremy cut the music and Cort, once more, continued on with his drumming. Sam smacked her forehead and Freddie slowly walked onto the stage. He'd had enough of this. If Cort wasn't playing the right tune, how could they depend on him where they would really need it? "Cort. Cort, man…" Still drumming.
He sighed and leaned forward, grabbing the sticks from Cort, who continued moving his arms in a drumming motion for a second afterwards. Once the drummer realized nothing was happening, he stopped and looked up at Freddie with a wry grin. "How was that?"
"You want honesty, or do you want me to sugarcoat it?" Cort winced and held up two fingers, smiling nervously.
"Maybe a little of both?"
"Okay, first off, you're not a bad drummer at all. However, you seem to have this problem with drumming the songs we need you to drum. Why? Are you serious about this audition?"
"I am, I'm very serious, I swear."
"Okay, so what's the problem then?" Cort bit his lip and stared down at the drums while Freddie absently tapped one of the drumsticks on his left arm. He watched Cort think and hoped maybe he could figure out if this was truly just nerves. "If we have a gig and you need to perform something from Skillet or Savage Garden, how can we trust you not to play something from Sonny and Cher, for crying out loud?"
"Well, I don't know. I usually play what comes to my mind."
"We ask you to play Highway to Hell and you pull out OhSusanna?"
"I can do Highway to Hell, I can!"
"No you can't."
"Yes I can!"
"Then showme!" Cort narrowed his eyes and glared ferociously in Freddie's eyes as he took the drumsticks back and started smacking the cymbal and drum. After a few beats, Freddie smirked and looked over to Jeremy, nodding as Cort rapidly began smacking both drums to his right as the song played from where he was. "Good! That's what I want!" He looked over to Jonah, who was flat out astonished. The girls were surprised as well, Cort actually knew the song well enough. "Now if you can just do that…Then maybe I'll be a miracle worker." He moved his eyes to the drumsticks and sighed, Cort was smacking the drums with the opposite ends of the sticks.
He waved his hand in the air dismissively and started to walk off. "Just as long as you don't start pulling the Bee Gees out of your ass midway through, I'm happy." Just as Freddie stepped off the stage, Cort's drumming changed to Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. "The hell…" He turned around and stared at Cort with a blank expression. "Okay so we've figured that problem out…Apparently he needs someone next to him to guide him or motivate him into a song. Great." He slowly turned around and walked back to the booth. He met Jonah's tired eyes and looked up to Jeremy, moving his hand across his throat. With the gesture, Jeremy flipped off the song and Cort stopped playing.
"I told you I could play!" He put his hands behind his waist and turned to face Cort.
"Yeah, but you also get distracted easily and need a lot of help with-" Instantly Cort started playing around with something on his jeans. Freddie's eyes became bewildered as he turned his head to Jonah and Sam. "One of you guys want to try to talk to him? I'm pretty sure if I do, it's not going to end well." Jonah laughed, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he waved his hand through the air and turned away.
"Hell no man, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be as nice as you." Freddie narrowed his eyes and Sam started to curl the bottom of her hair with her finger, a sign that he was on his own. "Even you, huh?" As soon as his eyes moved over to Carly, she through her hands up and chuckled sheepishly. "Gee, thanks sis." As he turned around to speak, Jeremy spoke out before him.
"Hey Cort!" Cort looked up from the drums and wildly around the room, as if trying to find an invisible voice. "Up here. Cort, up here!" Cort eyed the ceiling and gasped.
"God? Is that you? Or is it my conscience?" Freddie groaned out and the others sighed. Jeremy cleared his throat and crossed his arms.
"Uh, yeah, I'll go with conscience. Cort, you have a different destiny than this." Jeremy spoke in a slightly mystical voice. Freddie found it amusing and the girls perked their heads up. Jonah raised his eyebrows as Cort slowly stood up.
"Then…then what would you have me do, God? I don't understand, what is my purpose?"
"First of all, I said I'm your conscience. God is a lot higher than I am, but I know God. God and I are good friends. He talks with me, he walks with me, we're best of friends, and I have to say. He has something much better in mind for you. I say it's time to put down the drumsticks and find your true calling!"
"Y-Yes, yes, I will! I will do as you say conscience-god-person!" Cort ran off the stage and quickly shook Freddie's hand. "Thank you for having me, but I have to take away my audition request. Something just came up!" Freddie was taken aback and had to keep himself from laughing. He watched with bemusement as Cort ran off to the doors and stopped to look back and throw his hand in the air. "I'm coming god-conscience-person! I'm coming!"
"Keep going! Keep going and don't stop." As soon as Cort left, the whole auditorium erupted with laughter. It was nice to end it off with a light bang. No one wanted to tell Cort he'd been rejected. Freddie glanced up at Jeremy and he simply smiled back. "Someone had to send him out. Figured you guys didn't want him, so I just went ahead and did you a favor there."
"All right, all right…" It was late and everyone was exhausted, so Freddie figured it would be best to pick up where they left off tomorrow. "Everyone go home for the night, auditions will be at the same time tomorrow night. Hopefully we'll see some of you guys then." It didn't take long for everyone to disperse, leaving Jonah and Freddie to compare notes.
Carly grabbed her backpack and looked at the three, Freddie could see a bit of longing in her eyes, as though she wanted to see someone. "Hey guys, I'm going to head off, all right?"
"All right, have fun." They watched her run off. Freddie slowly shook his head and grabbed some of the papers off the desk. "She probably went to see her motorcycle boyfriend."
"You don't know anything about him?" Sam walked around Freddie as he slowly shook his head. He felt her hands on his shoulders and raised his eyebrows up. "You're tense, let me massage your back."
"Okay, thanks." He curled his neck back as she started rubbing his shoulders, her smooth hands glided across his broad shoulders and pressed down in the tender locations. He sighed gently and closed his eyes as his mind continued to rest upon the drummers they saw tonight. "I'm guessing we didn't see anyone that really stood out?"
Jonah clicked his tongue and went over the applicants. "There were some that stood out. Though others stood out like a sore thumb, but not in a good way. I'm surprised Jeremy knows anything about drums actually."
"Yeah…" Jeremy already took off, so they couldn't ask about his knowledge there. He was constantly busy, so they couldn't really ask him to be their drummer. "Ah well, tomorrow's another day. We'll find someone by the end of the week, no matter what."
"Well, we kind of have to."
"Yep." He felt Sam slide her hands under his arms and around his chest, bringing them to rest as she rested her chin on his shoulder. With a smile, he looked back at her and gently kissed the corner of her lip. "Hey there."
"Hey there…I love you."
"I love you. How do you think tomorrow will go? Any luck?"
"Hopefully better than tonight was. We'll see." She closed her eyes and rested the side of her head on his shoulder, possibly falling asleep. He wouldn't mind if she did, not at all. Jonah smiled at his friends and chuckled as he started walking towards the door.
"I'll see you guys later, I have to get back to my son and make sure my parents and Olivia haven't spoiled him too much." Freddie and Sam nodded and waved him off, they were happy with a little time to themselves before leaving. It never hurt anything.
Whoo, Cort wasn't too good there, though I'm not sure who I felt worse for. The band, or Cort. Seems pretty damn painful that the main person they want at auditions most of all just isn't there!