The Greatest Secret

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly

A/N: This chapter includes the song 'Wake up Little Susie' by the Everly Brothers. Do I own it? Nope, not at all.

Chapter 154 (Auditions: D4, Wake up Little Susie)

Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
We've both been sound asleep, wake up, little Susie, and weep
The movie's over, it's four o'clock, and we're in trouble deep
Wake up little Susie

A dull, throbbing sensation came from the center of his arm as he slowly opened his eyes, why was he hurting? He moaned lightly, his vision blurred and he felt an empty feeling on his right side where Sam should have been sleeping at. He heard her soft sleeping breaths, so maybe she was asleep on the arm of the couch. "Sam?" His voice came out slurred and exhausted. He rubbed his eyes and looked over to see Sam sound asleep on the edge of the couch.

Sleeping? His eyes widened with realization, they had been asleep? For how long? What time was it? Someone cleared their throats. When he turned his head, he saw it was Jonah with his arms crossed, he did not look happy. Jonah was wearing a white t-shirt and some black flannel pants. "Well, glad to see you're finally awake. Do you know how long I've been trying to wake your ass up?"

"Sorry, I didn't even know…what time is it?" Jonah handed him a cell phone and his eyes grew large, it was four in the morning! "Shit! We've been asleep that long?" What the hell would Uncle Morris and Aunt Maggie say to this? What would Marissa and Robert say? Dear god, they were in for a world of hurt.

Wake up little Susie, well
Whatta we gonna tell your mama
Whatta we gonna tell your pa
Whatta we gonna tell our friends when they say "ooh-la-la"
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie, well

"Yeah, you seemed pretty damn comfortable. I got called up because you guys never came back home and nobody knew where either of you were at! To top it off, the damn Everly Brothers was playing on the radio all the way over here. Now I can't get their song out of my head. I was also not happy about waking up my mother to come watch Aaron while I got your ass up."

"I'm sorry, a million times sorry, who all is looking for us?" Currently he was imagining Morris running around the streets with a shotgun, so that wasn't a pretty thought. He heard Sam moan and looked over to see her stirring from her sleep. "Hey Sam, wake up."

"Freddie? W-What happened?"

"We fell asleep on the couch backstage. We're screwed." Sam's eyes shot open and she quickly sat up, it was clear her eyes were filled with terror and panic. He chuckled nervously and sighed. "Relax, we just…we have to think of something. Damn…I know Aunt Maggie and Uncle Morris were expecting you by ten or eleven, right?"

"Yeah…"

I told your mama that you'd be in by ten
Well Susie baby looks like we goofed again
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie, we gotta go home

"Relax," Jonah said as he poked his ear with his finger and growled. "Carly's worried and is looking around for you with your mother. Morris is also out looking for you guys. They called me up because they wanted to know if I'd seen you. I start looking for you, then figure maybe you got stuck here after hours…It's not hard to say you got locked up inside the school."

"Really?"

"Sure. How was the auditions anyway?" Sam chuckled nervously and rubbed her arms, feeling rather cold all of a sudden. Freddie wavered his hand in midair and shrugged.

"Eh. It was just eh."

"Oh, okay then…"

Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
The movie wasn't so hot, it didn't have much of a plot
We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie, well

Jonah took his cell phone and started dialing numbers. "I'm going to tell them to get home, that I found you guys. For your secret's sake, dealing with Carly, we'll just say you got locked up after hours because of an argument or something."

"Oh that's great…"

"Eh whatever, I'll think of something. Unless you want to think of something to say to them?" Freddie turned his head to Sam and scratched his neck. In all honesty, his mind was drawing a blank. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he still felt sluggish after all these hours.

Then again, when it came to explanations, why wouldn't they be able to use their phones? Jonah might be able to tell Morris and Maggie the truth, but Freddie knew the cost of that one.

Whatta we gonna tell your mama
Whatta we gonna tell your pa
Whatta we gonna tell our friends when they say "ooh-la-la"
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie

The cell phone rang and Marissa picked up, Jonah took a deep breath and smiled slightly. "Hey Mrs. Benson."

"Did you find them?"

"Yeah-"

"They are in a world of trouble!" Freddie and Sam winced and Jonah's eyebrows rose up. There wasn't much he could say to deny that, nor did he want to. He was actually finding this mildly amusing, much to their chagrin.

"Yeah, they know. Is Carly around?"

"She's in the passenger seat."

"Can she hear me?"

"No."

"Okay. Well first off, you might want to tell Carly that they had an argument, stormed off and got locked up in the school. Their cell phones are dead, so they couldn't call anyone." Marissa nodded and repeated that to Carly, who simply sighed with relief that her friends were okay, she hated to think of them in danger. "Now the truth? They cuddled up on the couch after the auditions and fell asleep, purely accidental."

"Jesus…"

"Yeah I know, all that crap for that…" Freddie slowly glared at Jonah and narrowed his eyes, he just knew he wouldn't hear the end of this for a long while. "Oh, and would you believe the janitor actually sleeps outside the school in that barn? I had to get him to open the doors."

"Hopefully you thanked him for the trouble. I'm on my way over there…"

"All right, and yes I did. I'm going to call Mr. Puckett now." Sam slowly cringed and Freddie began mentally counting down the minutes to his doom. Please, please, dear god, let Uncle Morris be understanding about this. As Jonah hung up with Marissa, he smirked at Freddie. "I am going to tease the shit out of you guys now. I hope you know that."

"Yeah shut up…"

Within minutes, Sam and Freddie were outside the school with Jonah. Morris and Maggie were the first to show up, and when they did, Freddie decided to step behind Jonah. "Nope, you have to face the music sometime." Jonah stepped out of the way and Freddie's jaw dropped.

"Oh come on!" Sam smiled vaguely and watched as her aunt and uncle exited the car. Maggie ran up to her and hugged her tightly while Morris walked over to Freddie, eyeing him with mild anger. "Hello sir…"

"Is it true, you two just fell asleep?"

"Yes…"

"Okay…" Morris looked over as Sam took Freddie's hand and smiled at him.

"I love you Freddie."

"Love you too, Sam."

"Aunt Maggie just told me I can't show up for tomorrow night's audition." Freddie sighed and slowly nodded his head, he understood that. After the stress the families probably just suffered, they might not want to risk it happening a second night in a row.

"Okay, I understand. Uncle Morris, Aunt Maggie, I'm really sorry to have worried you guys. It won't happen again." He felt Morris rest a powerful hand upon his shoulder and smiled nervously as the older man gave him a stern look and a stern nod.

"I know it won't happen again. At least, it better not. You're lucky you only fell asleep this time and nothing more. You're forgiven, just don't let it happen again."

"It won't."

"Good." Morris pat Sam on the back and gave her a fatherly smile. "Let's get you home."

"Okay Uncle Morris." As they walked to the car, she turned her head and smiled at Freddie, waving him off. "Bye Freddie, have a good night!"

"You too, Sam, you too." He felt Jonah rest his elbow on his shoulder and start snickering as the Puckett family took their leave. He glared at Jonah and narrowed his eyes. "Screw you, this isn't funny!"

"It may not be funny to you now, but it's funny to me right now. In ten years, it'll still be funny."

"Yeah, yeah, in ten years you'll be a mute with no lips or tongue if you keep it up."

"You'd have to catch me first for that one, bro."

"So be it." He folded his arms over and scowled as two headlights came driving up. It was Carly and Marissa, finally arriving. He rolled his eyes and sighed, he hated it but was willing to accept that he was about to get an earful. "Well. I just got an idea for our next auditions to try tomorrow night."

"If it has anything to do with the Everly Brothers, then you're dead." Freddie smirked as the perfect song came to mind. WakeUpLittleSusie, and it was the perfect fodder to use in order to torture Jonah for all his teasing. He eyed his best friend and watched with pride as Jonah began to pale.

"Aw you asshole."

"I know, right?"

The next evening, they got in about fifty more auditions before they called up Jocelyn. The only ones there were Freddie, Jonah, and Carly. Sam, of course, had been unable to attend tonight's judging table. By now, everyone knew Freddie had been locked up after school with Sam, they were already teasing him, claiming he must have been beaten to a pulp several times over.

As Jocelyn walked up to the stage, she folded her arms and smirked. He wasn't too keen on her, considering she was actually a bully as it were. She'd messed around before, picking on the group. Primarily Carly, but Sam was becoming a recent victim only because it seemed like she was softening up. "So Benson, did you have fun last night, locked up with the she-devil?" He raised his eyebrow as Carly sighed desperately and Jonah shook his head.

"Really? You're going to pull that one, Jocelyn? Don't you want to be a drummer for our band?"

"Yeah, but hey, I'll take an opportunity to pick on whoever I want." Needless to say, he was not in the mood for her to be teasing anybody. Especially considering this girl was older than most anyone there! She was nineteen and still in her junior year of high school.

"You know, some people say you'll never graduate." He slowly rose from his seat, smirking dangerously at her. Jonah and Carly eyed him carefully as he started walking around the booth. "Yes I was locked up here all night with Samantha Puckett. It wasn't either of our faults, we got caught up in an argument of sorts." He waved his hand in a circular motion while stepping up the stairs along the side of the stage.

Jocelyn eyed him closely and swallowed as he continued his walking. "Okay, what are you doing?"

"Now our phones were dead, so we couldn't call anyone at all. I'm in a grouchy mood Jocelyn, so you might want to watch who you try to torment, because if you torment the wrong person at the wrong time…or the right person at the wrong time…it, or they, can come back and bite you in the ass." Jocelyn raised an eyebrow as Freddie held his wrists together behind his back and grinned. "Now Sam may be a bit of a bully, but unlike you, she's making decent enough grades to actually pass her classes and graduate. For you, I'm sad to say, possibly the only way for you to ever pass your classes and graduate would be to screw your professors for an A." Jocelyn's face drained as the audience laughed and cheered. "Unfortunately, you're so damn ugly that not even the slimiest person, AKA Gary, would want to fuck you." Her eyes bulged out as the audience laughed a bit more.

"Y-Y-You take that back!" He blinked quietly and put his hand to his chest.

"I apologize, I'm not myself tonight. See, I'm a horrible grouch because of what happened last night. Now, I don't think you'd want me to take that back. It's a good thing. Sort of. I guess you could live your life just torturing people you imagine yourself to be better than, but in reality, how long will that last?"

"Uh…." She shifted her eyes to the side as Freddie rolled his head to the left.

"See, while you do that, the people you torment will go on to graduate high school. They'll attend college where they will build successful careers for themselves, then they'll meet someone and marry, start a family…not necessarily in that order. You, you will be stuck an old hag without a high school diploma, no intelligent man would want to date you, and therefore you'd probably end up living at this school."

"I, I, you can't…I…" She stammered to think of something she could counter that with, but her mind was drawing a blank. She never really focused in English enough to expand her vocabulary.

"So what is one night stuck in the school with a 'she-devil' as you call her, when you'd probably wind up living in the school yourself one day. You know, the janitor lives in a barn just down the street. Maybe that'll be yours." Her face paled and she took a step back, shaking her head.

"N-No, I'll be something! I can be something and I will!"

"Not the way you're going about it you won't. Now, did you want to audition or did you only come here to tease? If so, I have a new song for you. I've been tormenting Jonah all day with it, as you can see. It's called Wake Up Little Susie, by the Everly Brothers. Let's see how well you fare at the drums. Who knows, do well enough and maybe you'll be able to actually make something out of yourself."

"No! I'll find another way besides your drums…"

"Okay, suit yourself then." He watched as she quickly bolted from the stage and towards the door, her eyes were misty and tearful. He crossed his arms over and sighed as he eyed Jonah and Carly. "Next! Let's get a move on people!" He really wasn't normally this way, but that couch had just not been all that comfortable when laying in that same position all that time.

Okay, so Freddie and Sam got everyone looking for them XD. Smooth move guys. Oh, and ouch to Jocelyn, yes Freddie feels bad about that.