A/N: So here's the next chapter! WARNING: This chapter is really, REALLY angsty, and it's a big AU from the "Sexy" episode. But there's also a whole lot of fluff going on in this chapter, so I hope you like it, even though some storylines might seem a little out of the blue. But it's me; I'm full of weird surprises… Even though they're not always of the good kind. I'm not gonna give away more now, so just sit back and en… And read!

For whatever reason, Will Schuester entered the choir room one day, preaching about how «some of the Glee club members had been lacking experience in the sexual area» or some shit, and it didn't fail to creep Puck out.

For one, the kids were apparently not the only ones who had been lacking, because Schuester didn't really seem to know what he was doing either.

Second, if there was one person in this world, beside Santana, that had definitely not been lacking experience in that area, it was Puckzilla. Personally, he thought Schuester should be a little less generalizing and take out the ones he was referring to (*cough-Finn-cough-hot tub-cough*) and educate them alone. He wasn't gonna be sitting her taking this crap.

Just as he was about to head out, making up an excuse about his fight club or whatever, Holly Holliday approached the class room and it was apparent she would be taking a (rather huge) part in this sexual education as well, and Puck was more than down with that. He might've been head over heels for Hummel nowadays, but that didn't mean he didn't recognize a hot body of the female kind when he saw one. And Miss Holliday definitely wasn't short on advances in that department.

So Puck was mostly too occupied watching Miss Holliday perform "Do You Wanna Touch Me" to think of anything else that day, but the day after, he was approached by Lauren, who probably still, for whatever reason, thought they were dating. Why she thought that, seen as she knew he had been flirting with Kurt at Rachel's party, was beyond him. But then again, a little flirting didn't seem to be enough to make her lose her mind, oddly enough.

Even though she didn't mean much to him romantically, he somewhat admired her. She was a badass, he was a badass. They had similarities; hence, they got along well.

Anyway; he was approached by Lauren, who bluntly as ever, blurted out immediately: "I wanna make a sex tape."

Puck blinked twice, not really sure if this was actually happening. He was pretty sure it wasn't. He was dreaming, right?

"What?"

"I wanna make a sex tape," Lauren replied as if she believed he actually hadn't heard her, - "With you. My place, Friday night."

Puck's eyes got even wider. He had to make up something to do this Friday. Got it! Finn's place! Video games. And Kurt! … Hold that thought. If only he wasn't with Quinn. Finn, that is. That would be a total disaster.

"Uh… I think I promised Finn to hang out and play video games on Friday."

Damn, why did he have to be such a terrible liar?

Obviously, Lauren could see right through him as well. "You're lying," she stated.

"How did you know?" Puck questioned, not really bothering to deny it. It was pretty obvious.

"First, I can tell when you're lying, and second, I know for a fact Quinn is going over to Finn's place on Friday."

Crap! There goes the chance of getting a glimpse of Hummel. Unless Quinn was long last gone by Saturday or Sunday, of course. When did he become this obsessive person?

"So it's settled," Lauren said fiercely, - "My place. Friday. Sex tape."

She patted him friendly on the shoulder and walked away.

Puck was so not into the whole sex tape thing. Not because he couldn't imagine having sex with Lauren. Usually he would have sex with anything on two legs, but as of right now, he only had one person in mind, and that person happened to be Kurt Hummel.

Luckily he was saved by Miss Holliday later that week, when she informed them both that if they went through with this tape they were planning on making, they could both be arrested for child pornography, seen as they both were underage.

Puck didn't really know why he had suddenly decided to live in celibacy since he started getting feelings (there, he said it, feelings) for Kurt, but everything became official when he got those news from Miss Holliday about the child pornography thing.

Getting convicted of possession of child pornography only meant one thing: Prison. Juvie, quite possibly. And he was not going back there, not for the life of him. He would rather stay in Lima for the rest of his life, and that was saying something.

Therefore, he had an aneurism or something, and decided to join the celibacy club. It was pretty obvious he didn't belong there, and he knew that as well, but at least this was a place where he wasn't triggered into having sex with anyone. Not that having sex in general would send him to Juvie, but it would most definitely not make Kurt believe he was changing.

Because yes, that was what he was hoping Kurt would eventually believe. That he was changing. He was willing to change just so he could get a chance in that department. And his sex shark reputation wouldn't be that difficult to change, would it?

The week went on, in all its sexiness, and Puck came over to Finn's place "just to play video games" on Saturday night. Seriously, when did his life become this lame?

As if his mother was right and there was some supernatural meaning behind everything, Finn suddenly rose up somewhere during the evening, and said: "Crap!"

Puck looked at him as if he had gone insane. "Explanation?" he prompted.

"I promised my mom I would buy mac & cheese today because I can't stand all that healthy stuff Kurt makes. I have to go get it or else I might… Die or something."

Puck looked at him in disbelief. "Whatever dude," he said, but he didn't sound upset. Rather the opposite, which made up a very weird combination of neutrality and happiness. Did that even exist?

"You coming? You could just stay here, you know, I'll be right back," Finn stated.

Stay right there? That sounded promising. As far as he was concerned, Kurt was in his room next door, and this would be the perfect opportunity for Puck to get to at least spend some time with the boy. And some time was definitely better than no time.

"Nah, you go. I'll watch the place for you."

"Cool," Finn said, and as he was out the door, Puck took the opportunity to approach Kurt's room.

Kurt Hummel had been lying on his bed trying to focus on his homework, when the door knocked. Assuming it was Finn or his dad or Carole or anyone, he told the knocker to come in.

What he didn't expect to see was the face of Noah Puckerman. He blushed slightly, thinking back to their weird night a week ago. "Hey," he said, a somewhat questioning expression forming on his face.

"'Sup?" Puck asked, as he entered the room and sat down on the bed beside Kurt.

The countertenor shrugged and smiled his melancholic smile. "I was about to ask you the same," he said politely.

Was it just Puck or did he seem rather tense today? He suddenly had the urge to put his hand on his back and tell him to relax a little, but he didn't.

"Nothing," Puck said, realizing Kurt probably craved for an explanation as to why he was in his room, - "Finn went to buy mac and cheese, and I decided to keep you company. Not really into going grocery shopping with Finn."

Kurt let out a laugh.

"Doing homework?" Puck asked, as if that was the weirdest thing in the universe, because who the fuck did their homework? And in the weekends, to top it all off?

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's really fun. You should try it sometime," he said sarcastically, - "No… Dalton is just so freaking strict when it comes to homework, so I really have no choice."

Puck nodded. "Sounds lame," he said.

Yet another of their oh-so-famous awkwardly comfortable silences occurred, before Puck asked: "So what have you been up to this week?"

He was sure he saw Kurt tense even more, and Puck wondered what the hell had caused that, but he still didn't ask. He would sometime during the evening, he promised himself.

Kurt let out a heavy sigh, and said: "Blaine decided to encourage my father into having "the talk" with me."

Puck laughed out loud at that. Wait… Was he serious? "

He did?" he asked, - "Who is he? Your mother?"

He immediately slapped himself, and impulsively put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. Yup, the boy was definitely tenser than he used to be. "Sorry," he said.

Kurt shrugged and shook his head. "It's OK."

"Must've been hella awkward, though," Puck said, not able to hold in a chuckle.

Kurt nodded hurriedly. "It was," he agreed shortly.

"How did that even start?"

And then Kurt let it all out, about Sue Sylvester encouraging The Warblers to get their sex appeal on, and Blaine taking that way too seriously, and it was awkward and humiliating because apparently "he had the sexual appeal and knowledge of a baby penguin".

Puck frowned. He couldn't really see that to be honest. Seriously, Kurt was one of the sexiest people he had ever met!

Kurt wasn't done though, but Puck knew that the last words were only spoken because Kurt was merely talking to himself, forgetting Puck was there for a moment: "I don't know, sex just makes me uncomfortable to even think of after…"

He immediately cut himself off, and Puck's eyes widened with the horrific realization he was in the process of making.

He had seen this kind of reaction before. In Juvie out of all places. It definitely wasn't normal. The tension that had probably been lying back there for some time, the rushed words, the "sex makes me uncomfortable"-comment. After something… After what? Holy crap! Someone had hurt him, and whomever that was, was going to pay.

His question was meant to be: After what? But instead he asked: "Kurt…? Who hurt you?"

He wasn't stupid or inexperienced. He had been to Juvie, for god's sake. He had seen some of the guys there.

Kurt's eyes widened with the same horror that Puck's had. "Nobody," he said in a voice even more hurried than before.

"You're lying," Puck said, - "I've been to Juvie. I know what this is about. Who was he?"

Kurt shook his head and buried it in his hands. "No one, forget I said anything. It's not important."

"The hell it is!" Puck exclaimed, but he regretted it when he caught a glimpse of Kurt's defeated reaction.

He reached out a hand to touch the boy's shoulder and thankfully he didn't flinch away.

"Kurt," he said, forcing the boy to look at him, - "Tell me. I won't tell anyone if that's what you're afraid of. But I'm not leaving until you tell me."

Kurt sighed deeply. "Just give me a moment," he said, his voice shaking.

"Take your time," Puck said, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders, letting him lean into the touch, - "I just want you to tell me who he was and what he did. That's all."

He started stroking the boy's arm in a comforting manner.

Kurt nodded. "OK," he whispered, giving Puck a small smile.

Puck got lost in the boy's face for a few seconds, and it suddenly dawned on him how much this boy had been hurt in his life. How could they? How could he? He had sure as hell been a part of it at some point, even if that was a long time ago.

Then Kurt started talking:

"It was an old costumer of my dad's. It was extremely suspicious really, because he always appeared to have some problem with his car. I'm sure my dad got suspicious as well, but he never said anything…"

He took a deep breath, before continuing: "He came back nearly every week, and I don't know. I just never liked the way he was looking at me, you know? Anyway, this was back in freshman year. One day he approached me. I was on my way home from school, and he asked me if I could show him where the nearest gas station was located."

Kurt let out an angry sigh and Puck pulled him tighter, resting his cheek on the boy's head.

"I don't know why I was so stupid!" Kurt exclaimed, his voice cracking just slightly, - "I knew who he was, and I sure as hell knew that he knew where the fucking gas station was. Still… I tried to explain it to him, and when he still faked that ignorance of his, he asked me to get in the car and show him."

He shook his head in disbelief. "And I went with him." His voice was barely above a whisper now.

Tears were falling freely from the boy's icy blue eyes, but Puck didn't interrupt. All he could do was holding the boy, and then he would take care of the rest when the story had been told.

"I went with him," Kurt repeated, - "I remember him trying to feel me up when we were in the car and I didn't do anything to stop him, how pathetic is that? When we came to the gas station, he just brought me out of the car. My body had just gone limp or something, I could hardly even think. I knew what was going to happen, but I couldn't believe it, you know? He brought me inside and down to the basement."

A soft sob escaped the boy, and Puck rocked him slightly as if he was a baby.

"Can I just tell you something before you go on?" Puck asked, not realizing how hoarse his voice had become all of a sudden.

Kurt nodded.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Puck's voice was a whisper too now, words flowing through Kurt's system, making him need to take a moment before really finding comprehension of what those words had really meant. It was a confirmation of what he had been so afraid of getting the answer to for far too long now.

He looked up at him. "What?" He just wanted… No, he needed to hear that again.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Puck repeated, - "Nothing. You were a kid for god's sake. You were fifteen years old! This was beyond your control. Way beyond."

Kurt shook his head, not really believing him yet. "You haven't even heard the entire story…"

"Doesn't matter," Puck said, his voice firm, - "You couldn't control this. And one more thing…"

Kurt looked at him, his eyes wide and bright. "What?" His voice was so vulnerable, at the point of breaking.

"You are so brave to talk about this," Puck said, his gaze never leaving Kurt's, he rubbed his finger over his cheek for a moment.

Kurt's features turned a little softer at that remark, and he tried to smile.

"Thank you," he whispered, and leaned closer to the other boy, who wrapped his arms around him more contently.

Kurt continued his story: "He brought me down to the basement, and told me to strip for him. I was too terrified not to submit…"

Puck let out a shaky breath, afraid of dealing with the realization of all of this. But he couldn't dwell on that now. He needed to be here for the boy beside him.

"It's OK," he assured, stroking the Kurt's back.

"It's not, but thanks even," Kurt said, letting out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob, - "So I did, and he walked up to me, grabbed me and bended me over a table that was nearby."

Puck didn't interrupt as Kurt finished his story:

"He started fondling me… Greedily, hungrily, roughly… As if he couldn't get enough."

He stopped. "Are you sure you wanna hear the rest, Noah?" he asked.

There was more? Shit. Still, Puck leaned closer, let out a sigh, and whispered: "No, to be honest I don't want to. But I need to. I need to know exactly what this bastard did to you."

"But this part will make you uncomfortable, I can tell…"

"Kurt," Puck said firmly, but softly, - "I'm already uncomfortable. A guy hurt you and I wanna beat this guy to death. And that will send me to Juvie, but it will be worth it. So now, go on!"

Kurt smiled a little wider, even though his eyes were devastated to say the least.

"He… He put his fingers inside me… Told me what a faggot I was and that I was supposed to love this… The thing was, I hadn't told anyone I was gay at the time, and I for whatever reason thought that I deserved it. But the worst part was," he choked on his words, before continuing, his voice shaking violently - "For whatever reason I can't comprehend, even though I was in so much pain, I could still feel something close to physical pleasure… I don't know why, but… You're wrong when you're saying this wasn't partly my fault, because it was…"

"No, it wasn't," Puck assured immediately, - "You can't control your body's reactions. They just happen. I'm dumb, but even I know that."

"But I came, Noah," Kurt said, obviously not really thinking, - "I got hard, and I came… The guy… He pushed into me, not preparing me at all, and I got hard and I came, even though I cried and begged him to stop over and over again…"

The words got lost in the boy's choked sobs, and Puck had a billion questions, but all he could do was hold the boy even tighter, and tell him that none of what had happened was his fault. Kurt was shaking with sobs in his arms, and every sob made his heart break into thousands of pieces, as cheesy as that might sound.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said, not really bothering thinking about holding the pet names in, - "I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that. It wasn't your fault."

They stayed like that for a while, and when Kurt's sobs had faded away slowly, Puck took the opportunity to ask: "Have you told anyone?"

Kurt shook his head. "No…," he said, - "And I don't attend to either. It's in the past. Also, the guy was caught a year later… He won't be out of prison before 60 years have passed and then he'll be dead and gone either way."

Puck flinched at the thought that the guy must've been about forty when he did those things to Kurt if Kurt had put his words right.

As a matter of fact, Puck was a little out of it at the moment. He had no words to say. All he could do was to hold Kurt still in his arms, as if that could protect him from the world.

He had no idea for how long the two of them sat there. It felt like several hours, but it could only have been about ten minutes. Kurt was the first one to speak up and surprisingly enough his voice didn't carry any hints of what he had just told him. It wasn't even rushed anymore:

"I don't need therapy or anything you know," he said, - "I'm fine. I've gotten through it on my own. It's just that this is the first time I have ever told anyone about it, and it hurts to go back there…"

There was a break.

"You see?" Kurt asked weakly, looking up at his… friend? … comforter? for assurance.

But Puck couldn't give him that assurance. He had no way of knowing, of being able to comprehend what the poor boy in his arms had had to endure. And he couldn't lie to him.

Cupping Kurt's left cheek in his palm; he looked into the boy's eyes and shook his head slowly. "No, I don't… I don't understand this situation; I have no way of knowing what you went through."

Kurt's eyes fell a little, but Puck lifted his chin gently, forcing him to look at him again.

"But I do know," he said, - "That you will be fine. Without anyone's help but your own probably, but please… Let me be here for you, alright? Know that you can lean on me whenever you need to. OK?"

Kurt smiled a completely genuine smile for the first time that evening, and he nodded. "OK," he confirmed.

As if they were in a silly movie where everything is perfectly timed, Puck's phone gave a buzz, and he checked it.

It was a message from Finn, and Puck suddenly realized that he had been grocery shopping for a rather long while now. Seriously, the dude was slow, that wasn't it, but now he was terrifyingly slow, even for Finn.

Kurt curled up against him, probably mostly on instinct, but Puck loved the smell of him, even though he partly smelled of salty tears along with his usual sweet sent. What had caused those tears to fall didn't make anything any better.

Still, he pulled the boy closer, kissing the top of his head without really thinking, happy Kurt didn't seem to mind. That's when he came to think of Finn's message! Damn, Kurt was so distracting sometimes. In a good way of course.

"Sry dude. Ran in2 Quinn at the store. Went over 2 her place. Think I'm stayin the night. Sry. U can sleep at my place if u need 2."

Puck would usually roll his eyes and let out a frustrated groan at Finn's entirely stupid stupidity, but as of right now, the idea of spending more time with Kurt, was probably the best solution ever made.

Therefore he probably shocked the living hell out of Finn by texting: "It's cool dude. See u Monday."

Kurt let out a small yawn which made Puck find him even more adorable, if that was even possible.

"What was that about?" he asked curiously.

"Your brother's staying the night at Quinn's place," he explained with a shrug.

Kurt frowned. "Oh," he said, -"That's pretty douche of him, leaving you hanging like that."

Puck grinned, but his eyes carried a hint of disbelief. "Not like I'm dating him, Hummel," he said in a joking matter, making Kurt giggle, - "But yeah, it kind of was. Still, means I get to spend more time with you, though."

He winked, and Kurt's eyes widened just slightly. Puck had really no idea where all the boundaries he once had, had gone.

They basically just spent the rest of the evening, lying on Kurt's bed. Kurt had his head resting on Puck's shoulder, and he was talking about all or nothing.

Puck could tell he was getting sleepy, because there was no way Kurt was this blabbering in a clear state. He loved it though. The boy had a nice voice. He could listen to him talk for days.

"I really didn't think you were this type of guy, Noah," Kurt admitted, - "You're sweet and funny and…" He paused, - "I don't know…," he said.

"What?" Puck prompted, wanting to know more.

Kurt sighed. "I was just…," he began, - "And you're totally gonna kill me or leave and never speak to me again because of this, but under different circumstances, you are definitely a guy I could see myself falling for now…"

There was a long pause where Puck just needed to take his time to comprehend everything Hummel had just said… No. He wasn't Hummel. He was Kurt. What Kurt had said? He had said that "under different circumstances" he could see himself falling for him. Puck.

He didn't know whether to be shouting with joy or burst out crying because of the fact that he had said "under different circumstances". He was facing the rejection he had feared all along, and it wasn't as good or as bad as he had expected it to be. It was totally different.

"Please say something?" Kurt said weakly, and Puck realized he had probably given the wrong impression.

"Under different circumstances?" he asked, - "What do you mean?"

Kurt let out a heavy sigh, and cuddled up closer, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I just mean," he said, - "That seen as I am used and damaged you would never want me… Not that you would anyway, you're straight, but that's the reason… That's all… I can't fall for anyone now…"

That was when Puck did it. He lifted Kurt's eyes to meet his, and gently planted a reassuring kiss on his lips.

"I want you, Kurt," he whispered, their faces were so close, - "I really do." The next words were spoken with all the sincerity Puck could possess, knowing Kurt needed to know he was telling the truth: "You're not used, you're not damaged. You're the most beautiful, sexiest, amazing person I have ever had the pleasure of even being in the same room with. And I want you. I want to love you, I want to hold you and kiss you when you're upset. I… I want to be your boyfriend. And I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready…"

Kurt interrupted him, his voice was shaky now: "It wouldn't work," he said shortly, - "It would never work. I wouldn't be able to put out for you, and you would leave me, and we…"

Puck interrupted him with a new kiss, this one a little more passionate, and thankfully Kurt only leaned into the kiss.

"Kurt," Puck said, looking into his boy's (that was what he was, damn it!) eyes, and saying with the same sincerity he had before: "I would be OK if we never went any further than kissing. Hell, I'm crazy about you! You're not some booty call I wanna throw away. I actually wanna be with you. Isn't that saying something? It's me we're talking about."

Kurt had to giggle at this obviously, but then he gave Puck a look as if asking whether or not he was serious, and then, as if realization had just hit him, he shook his head and the smile completely fell from his face.

"How can you play with me like this?" he asked, moving his eyes from the mohawked boy again, - "Especially now?"

Puck's confusion was obvious, and to be quite honest, Kurt thought he looked a little hurt. For a moment, he wasn't able to resist the slight feeling of regret that appeared within him, but the thought of Puck not playing with him was far too surreal.

"Seriously!" Puck's reaction was impulsive, - "Does it look like I'm kidding here?"

Kurt forced himself to look at the boy again, really taking in what he saw. There was no denying Puck was hot. He had always thought that, even back when he was still tossing him into dumpsters as it would earn him a fortune. But then he had been too much of a jerk for Kurt to notice anything else about him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then he shut it again. He shook his head shyly. "No," he whispered, - "No, it doesn't."

Puck's face softened again and he reached out a somewhat clumsy hand to touch the younger boy's cheek. "Trust me, Kurt," he said, - "I'm not kidding."

Kurt nodded as if having got it right by now, but then he said: "I…," he hesitated before continuing, - "… would be lying if I said I wasn't into you."

Puck grinned. Obviously. He was Puckzilla for Christ's sake. Who wouldn't be into him?

"I just don't know how this… thing would work out between us."

Puck took a deep breath, trying to say something, but Kurt obviously wasn't quite finished with his speech.

"I mean," he stated, - "You have always been very straight. Like, really, really super straight. You have a badass reputation to uphold, and don't worry. I won't tell anyone about this."

"You're right," Puck interrupted, - "I'm too much of a coward to deserve you. There, I said it. I have a badass reputation to uphold, but both you and I know that when high school is done, and despite what you might possibly think, I will actually graduate this year, that badass reputation will be gone."

He pulled himself together before speaking the next words. "I want you, Kurt. Please. I'm totally into you, and I can tell same goes for you… About me, I mean."

Kurt blushed a little at this, and he nodded instantly. "I am, Noah," he said truthfully, - "I am, I just… I don't know how this is gonna turn out."

"No one does," Puck said, putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder, - "That's the point about relationships. That's what make them so exciting."

Kurt had to laugh. "And how many serious relationships have you ever been in, Noah?" he asked, a bit of a challenge resting in his voice.

"More than you," Puck pointed out, and Kurt let out a defeated sigh.

"You're right," he said, - "You're right, we should try this."

Puck's eyes widened, and for a second he reminded Kurt of a kid in a candy shop.

"Really?"

Kurt smiled wider now, the sadness all gone from his eyes. He leaned in hesitantly to give Puck a soft peck on the lips.

"Really," he confirmed.

Kurt let out a shaky sigh, before continuing: "And Noah?"

"Hmm?" Puck had already gotten comfortable on the bed, laying all down on the pillows. Kurt had a rather large bed, especially for such a small guy.

"You can sleep in my bed tonight."

Puck looked at him. "You sure? But how about your dad? How about… you?"

Kurt shrugged. "I have a lock. And I'll be fine. You can stay in my bed. With me."

His eyes carried no hints of doubt, and Puck was somewhat touched (yes, he admitted it! there was an awful lot of admitting going around here tonight) that Kurt put that much trust in him.

"OK," he said.

As Kurt eventually fell asleep in Puck's arms that night, Puck knew that he would have a hard time dealing with all of this. He knew that. He knew it would be a challenge, and that wasn't Kurt's fault. That fault was entirely his own. He had to start becoming honest with himself, and as soon as graduation was over. But for now, he and Kurt had agreed on a secret relationship. He knew that, even though they hadn't really discussed it with words.

But as he looked down on the sleeping form beside him, Puck for the first time in in his life, was truly determined to work hard on something.

Call that progress.

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm cruel, ain't I? I didn't necessarily mean to make poor, poor Kurt go through all of that… I love him so much! So I just had to make up for it by having Puck