Chapter Fourteen: Free Voices

L opened his eyes and looked around, wondering how he'd gotten into the room that he used to share with Light Yagami. The last thing he remembered was standing on the roof in the rain listening to the bells in the distance, feeling that his time here was coming to an end. Light had come up to the roof looking for him and the two of them had gone inside together. Light had sat on the stairs, towel in hand when L had decided to give him foot massage. Light had used his towel to dry L's hair and for a brief while, L felt the peaceable contentment that he hadn't felt since the night before the helicopter spread through his chest and he'd allowed himself a small smile.

A last piece of happiness before his inevitably demise.

But that didn't tell him how he'd gotten into the room that held such painful memories for him. Memories of him and Light, holding each other, kissing each other, loving each other. He hated this room. Though he knew it was stupid to do so, because the room itself had done nothing. Still, he despised this room with as much passion as he loved Light Yagami, because to him this room represented false hopes, and heartache.

"Ryuuzaki," Light's voice drew his attention towards the doorway, "It's good to see you're awake."

"Light," L's voice was low and audibly fragile, "How did I get in here?" He wanted out of this room that had held his moments of impeccable happiness along with the moment of his greatest turmoil.

"I carried you here," Light replied. "You got a fever from being in the rain so long; you fainted in the hallway and I carried you here to lie down."

L nodded, so Light had carried him here. How ironic that he would choose this room, out of all the ones available in the new Task Force building, to carry him to. The one person that caused him more pain than anyone else had brought him to the one place that caused him more pain than anywhere else. L almost laughed at the bitter irony of the situation. Instead he hugged his legs to his chest and stared at the bed spread below him.

A hand pressing against his forehead caused L to look up in surprise. "Seems your fever has gone down." Light said, seeming to not notice how L's breath had caught in his chest at the innocently intimate gesture, "But you're still a little warm. You should lie back down."

L only nodded and looked away from the brown eyes that seemed to see down into his very soul, those beautiful brown eyes that he loved so much.

"Would you like me to inform the rest of the team that you won' be returning to work today?"

L shook his head. "There would be no reason to do that," he said in the same low, fragile voice as before.

"Surely you don't plan on returning to work with a fever, Ryuuzaki, you need to rest."

"All I meant was that I don't think it would matter to them if I returned to work tonight or not. We're not making much process on figuring out who the owner the Death Note is, nor do we know exactly how it works. The atmosphere down there is pretty tense; we all need time away from each other."

I need some time away from you.

Light nodded, unable to deny the truth of that statement. "Then I at least should go down there and let them know they have the night off."

"Are you so eager to get away from me, Light?" I need time away, but I want you to stay. Please stay. L bit his lip to hold back the words he knew he could never say.

"What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?"

"I promise, Light, I won't try to force myself on you. So please stay with me for a little while. Humor me, please." I love you. I hate you. I need you. Don't leave me. Time is already too short.

Light sighed but took a seat on the edge of the bed. "Happy now?" he growled.

No. Not happy, won't ever be happy unless you love me. "I don't think I can ever be happy again, Light." L didn't look at Light; instead he busied himself with tracing invisible patterns on to the bed spread.

"Damn it, Ryuuzaki!" Light yelled. "What's with this emo depressed attitude of yours? You act as if the whole world is against you."

"Not the whole world," L said softly. "Just you, Light."

"What?"

"You're the only one against me, Light." L repeated.

"Oh don't you go there again," Light said. "We are not about to have another conversation about if I'm Kira or not. I refuse to discuss this again."

"I actually wasn't implying that you are Kira, Light, I was simply stating another one of my truths. You're the only one against, whether you're Kira or not."

"And how do you suppose that?" Light wanted to know.

"I don't want to talk about it." L replied sullenly.

"Oh no you don't, I humored you by staying in this room. It's your turn to humor me. How do you suppose I'm against you?"

"Telling you would only end in an argument and I don't want to spend what may be my last moments alive fighting with you."

"Are you still going on about that, Ryuuzaki?"

"Of course I am, Light. We both know that I'm going to die soon."

"And how do we know that. For all I know, you're going to live forever."

"You would hate that wouldn't you, Light? Me living forever, always having someone watching you, always having someone chasing after you, it would be enough to drive you mad wouldn't it?"

"Damn it all Ryuuzaki!" Light lost his temper and yelled, "What is it that you want from me!"

"I want you to love me!" L also yelled causing Light to look at him in shock, his volume dropped, "I want you to love me." he said again. "I want it more than anything; I need it. You loved me before, you can't deny it. All I want is for you to love me again. Is that too much to want for in my last hours of existence, for just a moment's more happiness? I don't want more time to walk this earth. I don't even care if I solve the Kira case or not. All I want is for you to love me again."

Were those tears pricking at the corner of L's eyes? Had he once again lowered himself to crying over Light Yagami? When had he become so weak? The boy seemed to be the only one capable of bringing the seemingly emotionless L to tears. The World's Greatest Detective was helpless when it came to matters of love. L sniffed and refused to let the tears fall, he'd be damned if he'd give Light the satisfaction of seeing him cry. But he was already damned wasn't he?

"Ryuuzaki," Light said softly, L paid him no mind; instead he once again concentrated on tracing invisible patterns into the bedspread, "Ryuuzaki look at me."

The tone in Light's voice told L he couldn't refuse, he slowly turned his onyx colored eyes to look at Light, the tears he'd been fighting still clinging to their corners. The sight waiting for him was enough to set the tears to falling. Light looked at him with such a gentle expression, it was almost loving in its sweetness. He raised a hand to wipe away the tears spilling down L's cheeks.

"You're hurting aren't you?" Light said in a soft voice. "There's no denying the pain you're feeling it's written all over your face." His hand lingered on L's cheek a little longer and L found himself leaning into the touch and missing it once Light finally pulled the hand away.

"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," The Yagami boy said in the same soft voice. "I… Love is something I can't offer you."

L's heart sank in his chest and he once again turned away from Light, he hadn't expected Light to say that he did love him, but that hadn't stopped him from getting his hopes up. But Light wasn't done speaking yet.

"I can't offer you love." Light repeated softly, "But I can…" he hesitated seemingly searching for the right words to say, "I can humor you."