Chapter 12: Extremely Painful

The next morning, Chris woke the campers up by flying a plane into the camp. He crashed into the outhouse, but survived. "Yes!", he yelled, "I can't wait to get my pilot's license!" The campers came out to see what was going on, and Chris hopped out of the plane. "Just flexing your muscles for today's..." he paused to pull out a megaphone. "extreme sports challenge!" Gwen groaned. "Ugh, it's too early for this." "This week you'll participate in three challenges. First up: extreme sofa bed skydiving! Contestants will plummet, uh, skydive, to a waiting sofa bed target below. Of course, you'll be skydiving from five thousand feet. And, using these." He pulled out some old, tattered parachutes and threw them at the campers. "Our lucky contestants are Trent and DJ." Trent shrugged. "Sure, why not? You know what they say: best glimpse of heaven's on the way into hell." He put his hand on DJ's shoulder and smirked. "Let's do this." DJ tried to smile. "Yeah, uh, sure. Bring it on." "Not so fast", Chris said. "The second challenge of the day is: extreme rodeo moose riding! Contestants will rodeo ride the great Canadian bucking moose for eight seconds, or get hurled into a giant pile of socks from the lost and found." "That stink pile ain't nothin' but laundry day back home", Leshawna said. "It's your lucky day, Leshawna. You're riding for the Gophers, and Geoff, you'll ride for the Bass." Geoff cheered. "Awesome!"

"And, the final challenge: extreme seadoo water skiing! Contestants will water ski a race course, grabbing as many flags as they can before crossing the finish line, while a camper from the opposing team drives." "How are we supposed to water ski without water?", Heather asked. "It's really hard! Check it out!" Chef drove up to demonstrate, and flipped over and slammed into a tree. Chris laughed. "Awesome! Sadie, you'll ski for Killer Bass, and Lindsay for the Screaming Gophers." "Cool, I can model my new bikini!" Lindsay stopped paying attention and began posing. "Now for the cool swag. The team that wins the most challenges wins bragging rights for the night, saves their butts from elimination and wins a trip to our multi-massage mobile shower." The girls gasped. "Can it be?" "Oh, it be." Heather turned to the Gophers. "Listen to me, we are going to win this challenge if it's the last thing we do, got it?" Lindsay, Katie and Leshawna nodded in agreement.

Chris went back to the plane and started the engine. "Okay gang, go get brekkie, then report back in twenty minutes for the extreme sports challenge!" He flew off and left the campers to choke on the dust he stirred up. At breakfast, Gwen found a piece of paper by her plate. She picked it up and read it. "Wow, a corny haiku poem. Who the heck wrote it?" Gwen blushed. "And is it for... me?"

Confession Cam: Gwen
"Please don't be from Cody, please don't be from Cody, please don't be from Cody..."

After breakfast, the campers went out to the plane. "Now remember", Chris told them, "the ground teams can push the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrade with the landing." "You can do this, Trent!", Heather said. Gwen glared at her, and then DJ and Trent went up in the plane. Chris flew it over toward the beach, and the door opened. "If you could just fill these out?", Chris asked. "But we already signed insurance forms at the beginning of the show", DJ said. "Yeah, but these are for organ donation! I have this cool cannibal challenge I wanna pitch to the producers, and this'll go a long way toward budgeting free props! Oh, here comes the drop, boys!" Chris went back to the pilot seat and Trent looked out the open doorway. "I don't see the drop zone! I don't think I can do this, man!" "Don't worry, dude", DJ said, "I'm sure you'll hit the mattress." He patted Trent on the back and accidentally pushed him out of the plane. "Oh, snap..." Trent fell down, screaming the whole way, and landed flat on the sand. Back in the plane, DJ was getting ready. "Okay. Pull the blue cord first, then the red. Blue, then the red." He jumped, and pulled the wrong cord. "Oh, crap!" He began screaming, but unlike Trent he landed safely on the sofa bed. His team cheered and the bed snapped shut, and they tried to ignore it.

Chef came to bandage Trent up, and was getting ready to take him away when Gwen walked up to him. "Trent? Is there... anything you wanna ask me before they take you to get, uh, re-boned? Like, if I got something you made for me secretly?" "Yeh. Ish mah hare mesht up?" Gwen shook her head and sighed as Chef took Trent away. Then, she and the other Gophers walked to the woods for the next challenge.

"Okay, folks, let's start the rodeo moose challenge!", Chris said. "Rodeo riding's kinda like surfing", Geoff said. "Once you catch the lip you just flow with the mojo." He slid over to the moose and climbed on. "Alright, let's do this!" Chef let the moose out of its pen and it rammed at him, running and bucking, with Geoff screaming and quickly losing his grip. He got thrown into the sock pile within five seconds. "And, Geoff's out! Ooh, that stinks bigtime for Bass!" You're up, Leshawna!" She cracked her knuckles and walked up to the moose. "I hope you got a moose burger recipe handy!", she told Chef. The moose flared its nostrils and snarled. "Sweet mother of-" and slammed through the pen, knocking Chef over and cutting his sentence short. However, Leshawna was safe and managed to hang on for the entire eight seconds. "So, we have a tie", Chris announced. "Whoever wins the extreme seadoo water ski challenge! Wins invincibility." Lindsay walked up in her new swimsuit. "I'm ready!" she said. The guys were impressed, but not Heather. "We are so dead." "Okay", Chris said, "Now for the drivers. For the Killer Bass, Courtney. And for the Screaming Gophers, Katie!"

Katie and Sadie turned to each other and gasped. "So... we're competing against each other? Directly?" Sadie nodded. "Yeah... this is gonna be the worst challenge ever." Heather walked up to Katie. "Please, you have to do this! For the team! For the alliance! For the showers!"

Confession Cam: Katie
"I can't believe this! If I win, Sadie is gonna hate me. If I lose, I'll probably be voted off!"

Confession Cam: Sadie
"I knew this day was coming. I've been dreading it ever since Katie and I got separated. Just wish it hadn't come so soon..."

While Katie and Sadie started their panic attack, and the challenge, Gwen walked up to Cody. "Um, hey. Can I ask you something?" He smiled and nodded. "Of course! What's on that beautiful mind of yours?" "I found this poem at the mess hall this morning... and, um... I was wondering if you knew who wrote it." She handed the paper to Cody, and he blushed. "Um... I did." Gwen sighed. "I was afraid of that. Look, Cody. You're cool. You're only partially annoying. But I don't like you. I like Trent. So please, don't do this again." Cody sighed, but Gwen smiled. "I got an idea! Just change a few of the lines and give it to Lindsay!" "What!" "You like her, right? Come on, don't deny it." "Yeah, but-" Gwen punched Cody's shoulder. "Oh come on. You saved her life, she said you're her hero. I'm sure she'd go out with you if you asked." Cody thought about it for a minute, then pulled a pen out of his pocket. "Alright. Fine. Just... we're friends, right?" Gwen nodded and Cody smiled. "Thanks."

Sadie and Katie got set up for the challenge, and Chris drove by on a dirt bike. "Here's the road rules. Oh, wait- there are no rules! Which means this is gonna be awesome! And... go!" Katie started the seadoo and drove it at about five miles an hour. Heather facepalmed. "Come on, Katie, go faster!" "But what if Sadie gets hurt?" "Just listen to me!" Katie groaned and pressed down the gas pedal. She drove faster, nearly bumping into rocks, but Sadie kept grabbing flags. They got to the edge of the mud pit, then Katie turned around, but didn't turn her head fast enough and drove into a rock. The girls both went flying, and Sadie dropped the flags. "Oh, and it's a total wipeout!", Chris yelled. "Okay. Next up, Lindsay and Courtney!" They set up and Courtney started driving like a madwoman. She floored the gas and swerved left and right, shook the seadoo, but Lindsay held on and kept grabbing flags. "I am not going to lose to some blonde bimbo!", Courtney yelled. Lindsay gasped, the growled and gripped the skiing line handle tighter. Courtney yelled and drove back to the start/finish line, and Linday ran over to the Gophers. "Gophers win!", Chris announced. "Sorry 'bout that, Courtney, I just really wanted that shower!" Courtney just crossed her arms and glared at her. Geoff sighed. "Really could've used that shower." "Right you are, my skunky friend", DJ said.

Cody walked up to Linday. "Um... hey. Way to go on the skiing thing, glad we won." Lindsay smiled. "Me too, Brody!" "Actually my name's Cody. And I, uh, got something for you." He pulled out the poem and gave it to Lindsay. She read it and smiled. "Oh my gosh, that's so sweet! I'm not sure what some of it means, but it's still sweet!" She hugged him. "First you save me and Trent, and now this? You're full of surprises for a nerd." Cody blushed. "I've got one more for you. Do you wanna... go out with me?" Linday picked him up and crush hugged him. "Totally! Skyler's gone anyway, so I'm all yours. Except for the alliance..." "What alliance?" "Oh, nothing!" Cody shrugged. "Okay then. Can you let me down now? It's kinda hard to breathe." "Nope!"

After the Screaming Gophers had their showers, it was time for the campfire ceremony. "As you know", Chris said, "if you do not receive a marshmallow, you will be forced to walk the dock of shame and you can never, ever return to camp. Sadie, DJ, you're safe. And the final marshmallow goes to... Geoff." Courtney glared at Chris. "If it weren't for that dumb blonde I would've been safe. Darn it!" She got up and stormed off toward the dock, grumbling. "Well, that's it for tonight. Get some sleep, campers, because it's time for a whole new challenge tomorrow."