A/N: Sorry for the length of this chapter, and…
And just, sorry… in general…
*Tissues*
~xXx~
Chapter Twenty Seven
Robin felt as though he was in some kind of nightmare or altered realty as he followed Simon through to Gene's office. He felt trapped, knowing that out there Layton was right by his side, about to pull the trigger at any moment, while in the world around him only Simon was prepared to help him. He clung to the hand that led him across the room for dear life. Feeling Simon grasp his fingers helped to keep him grounded. He needed whatever touch of reality he could keep hold of.
"Here's the pile of reports," Simon told him, lifting a pile of papers from the desk, "sightings… well, possible sightings of Layton from today." He looked at Robin who seemed unable to focus and stumbled as his head spun. "Shit, sit down," he commanded, helping him down into the chair.
"Sorry," Robin mumbled. He felt disorientated and dizzy. Simon marched to the door, calling back,
"Wait there."
He returned a few moments later and closed the door behind him, grasping Robin's coke can in his hand.
"Here," he said, "try to drink more of this. Whether it's Layton or your lack of food and drink making your head spin you need to get yourself as steady and sturdy as possible. The sugar will help for now; we'll get you some proper food as soon as we can."
Robin felt Simon pressing the can into his hand. He seemed to be losing his grip on reality, as though under the effects of an anaesthetic or something similar. His head threatened to flop as he heard the laughter inside his mind again and he felt extremely thankful for Simon bringing him back to reality by grasping his hand, still holding the can and commanding; "drink."
Robin did his best. He took a few sips and put the can down on the desk, worried that it was going to drop out of his hand if he didn't. He accidentally let out a belch that Kim would have been proud of and bit his lip guiltily as Simon fired him a brief glare before picking up his pile of reports again.
"We'll go through these, look for any patterns," Simon spoke quickly, trying to work as fast as he could, "find a general area where Layton seems to be connected to and speak to any contacts we can who might be able to point us in the right direction."
Robin stared at Simon as he found a pile of papers thrust into his hand.
"Why are you helping me?" he whispered. After everything Simon had said since he arrived he'd thought that the last thing Simon would want to do was to help him home. He found Simon's blue eyes staring back at him, glistening with tears that burst rudely into his field of vision. He had a distant look upon his face. If he was honest he wasn't even sure of the answer to that question himself. Finally he took in a deep breath.
"Because," he whispered, "when you hurt, I hurt." He swallowed, "and that's one thing that's never going to change."
He turned to the papers in front of him and tried not to think about their ultimate goal. Succeeding would mean losing Robin, again, and whatever the situation between them the thought of a goodbye was too difficult to think about.
~xXx~
"Are we going to let them do this?" Alex hissed, her arms folded in anxiety. She started to pace up and down the office, disturbed that Gene seemed to be without answers this time.
"I don't think it's my call to make," Gene told her, "Simon's taken this into his own hands."
"It's not going to work," Alex's voice crackled with emotion, "it's not how things work, Gene, is it?" she paused. "Is it?"
Gene sighed then slowly shook his head.
"It shouldn't be, at least," he said.
"And the Sam Tyler story?" Alex asked.
"I did tell Simon that," Gene admitted, "I don't know how true it was, I only know what Sam told me when he was pissed one night."
"Well what if it is true?" Alex hissed, "what if they catch Layton and put him away and he never shot me so I never came here –"
Gene shook his head.
"It can't work like that," he said, "if he never shot you then you would never have gone back in the wrong body and roped Batman and Stringer in to help you get home, so they'd never have met 'im and Layton wouldn't be sitting by his bedside, reading him horrible bedtime stories about getting shot," he shook his head. "Too much of a bloody paradox."
Alex stared at him, open mouthed.
"Exactly how long were you staying with Simon?" she demanded.
Gene shuddered as he realised how much he'd picked up from him.
"I knew those bloody geek cooties were getting to me," he scratched a little as though he had a severe case of nerdy fleas.
Alex looked at Gene sadly.
"Then," she said quietly, "if it's not going to work, and there's nothing they can do to stop Layton from doing his worst," she swallowed as her heart sank, "then they're wasting their time and at the end of it Robin's only going to hurt more." She felt herself tearing up. "He doesn't deserve this, Gene – he has so much that he needs to get back for. It's not fair."
Gene wasn't expecting to see Alex become so emotional and as he watched her something began to dawn upon him, he always knew that he was a fairly solitary figure. He'd rarely allowed anyone very close to him. It came with the job. He had Alex of course, but since Sam he'd never actually had anyone in his life he considered a friend until he Simon arrived. That was a long time to have no one to turn to. But he had never realised Alex was in the same position before. She'd never really had a friend as such, not since Shaz – the first incarnation of Shaz – went to the pub. Gene started to realise that her time in the real world had brought Alex a close bond with both Robin and Kim, and that her emotions were born of devastation for a friend who was about to lose everything.
"I know," he said quietly, wrapping an arm around her and holding her against the warmth of his chest, "I know, Bolly. It's unfair, it's bloody unfair. Every day here something happens that just makes me wonder if we're wasting our bloody time and making everyone miserable." He gave a hefty sigh, "But we can't stop, because they all bloody need us. I can't put you on a train to Batman's hospital room to slap a set of cuffs over Layton. I can't pat Robin on the 'ed and watch him wake up in time to raise the alarm."
"I already get that it's hopeless, Gene," Alex sighed, trying to keep her tears at bay, "you don't need to rub it in."
Gene moved away and held Alex at arm's length.
"There is one thing we can do," he said, "and that's to trust Simon." He saw Alex looking at him in confusion, "Something makes that spaceship-loving twat think he's got a chance. I don't know why, he's made a habit of being the station's resident pessimist for the last fifteen months. But now he believes he can do something."
"Believing isn't enough," whispered Alex. She thought back to all the times she's 'believed' – she believed she could get back to the real world by saving her parents or figuring out what Martin Summers was trying to tell her or by uncovering the truth about Gene and his world, then from the other side believing she only needed to help Gene find peace to get back. Believing never got her anywhere. Nor did it help anyone else. She'd seen enough disappointment on the faces of those in the 'halfway state' over the years when yet another attempt to get home fails.
"I believed catching Layton would get you back," Gene's voice was stern and strong. She'd never heard him speak with such conviction before and finally looked him in the eye, "and here you are." He looked down for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Now, I know it wasn't all down to us. You were tracking the same pile of rotten bones in two thousand and bollocks. But for all we know, someone out there is doing the same."
Alex hesitated. This wasn't like Gene.
"Do you really believe he stands any chance?" she whispered.
"Until two days ago I'd say he had more chance of surviving an Andrew Ridgeley revival without chucking up down the bog," said Gene, "but rules are changing, Bolly. I can't work them out. I can't say yes or no. Things that have stood in stone for years are being filed down with bloody industrial strength sandpaper and re-written. All the evidence and all me common sense says there's no way in Keats's basement they can change what's happening to 'im out there." He shook his head. "But you, standing here again, that says differently."
Alex stared at him, trying to work out what to say, what to ask, what to do. She swallowed back her tears and tried to stay strong. If Robin stood any chance of making it home then he needed for everyone to be as strong as possible.
"So what should we do?" she asked quietly.
"We?" Gene repeated, "we do nothing." He nodded towards his office and they watched through the windows at the two heads bowed over paper; talking, pointing, writing – "this isn't our call, Bolly." Gene felt a little awkward as he admitted, "It's not my world any more. It's not even our world. Needed new blood," he nodded towards the window, "and it's got it." He shook his head, "not that I'm hanging up me boots –" he glanced at Alex, "not now I've got you back anyway – but I don't think they need us right now."
"So what do we do?"
"Sit and wait," Gene told her, "and hopefully they'll come to us when they know where they're going. This is their call."
Alex nodded slowly. She stared through the window and felt herself choking up again. It moved her to see the difference and the progression in the two of them; Simon, from the confused and bitter man looking for his iPhone in 1985 and the man who resented the responsibility he'd been given upon his return now leading the way and displaying the strength that he'd kept hidden all that time, and Robin whose doorstep she arrived upon in desperation a year earlier, finding the strength to break away from Simon's shadow and fight for happiness in his life.
"Alright," she whispered. She nodded and looked at Gene. "Alright, We sit and wait." She paused. "But I'll warn you –" she nodded to his office, "they've got the scotch in there."
"Bugger," Gene cursed. He reached into his pocket and found his flask almost empty. With a determined nod he reached for his wallet instead. "That's what the offy's for," he said.
~xXx~
Simon's eyes skipped repeatedly from the page in his hand to Robin as he tried to work through the information they'd received. There was a part of him that couldn't believe what he was doing. Was he really going to help him try to get home? It was so much against everything he'd been trying to do from the moment he got back but the moment he heard Robin say those chilling words and he realised what was happening to him in the real world he had no choice; he had to help him. He'd never seen such a look of fear and distress on Robin's face before. He had tried hard to deny that Robin had built a new life for himself, back in 2012. He'd tried not to believe it. He thought that if he pushed it out of his mind then somehow they could just pick up where they left off. But he couldn't do that any more because everything Robin stood to lose was written right across his face.
He thought back to his relationship with Robin. Robin had been right when they'd talked a few days earlier – they had dragged their feet for a long time, and Simon knew that he was the one who wanted to concentrate on his career more than anything. He'd always been more ambitious in that respect, while Robin had more of an appreciation of life in general. Their relationship had been loving and warm, safe and comfortable, but there was something that had been missing until Simon's first trip to Gene's world showed him how much more there was to life. By then, it was almost too late. They only had a few months to enjoy that increased closeness before Simon died.
"You learned from my mistakes," he whispered as his eyes fixed upon Robin's face.
Robin glanced up.
"Pardon?" he asked.
Simon cringed a little, unaware he'd spoken out loud.
"Nothing," he whispered. He gave Robin a slightly wobbly smile and dropped his eyes back to the paper.
He was right though. Robin had learned from Simon's mistakes. He'd grabbed hold of life and ran with it. He'd thrown caution to the wind and started to really live. It wasn't just about his relationship with Kim developing so quickly, there was so much more to it than that – all the things Robin had done, even down to the tattoos and joining the gym – he'd taken chances he'd never have done before. Simon was envious of that. He wasn't sure he'd have ever had the courage to grasp life with such vigour.
Robin deserved to get back to that life he'd created. Not to live a half-a-life in 1997.
"Here's one," Robin's voice pulled Simon out of his thoughts before they could become too maudlin. He glanced up as Robin handed him a sheet of paper, "this one's got the CCTV stills attached. That's definitely Layton."
"Shit, you're right," Simon stared at the page, "Why is no one following this up already?"
Robin looked at him.
"Maybe because we're supposed to," he said quietly.
Simon found himself giving a smile that was tinged with sadness.
"Maybe we are," he said quietly. He found himself desperate to say so many things suddenly. He wanted to give Robin apologies, to tell him what life had been like without him, to ask so many things about their time apart as it became increasingly obvious that there was something buzzing in the air and something important was going to happen that night. But he knew this wasn't the time. There was so much to do and they needed to act quickly. He put those thoughts to the back of his mind as he laid out certain sheets of paper in a particular order across Gene's desk. "Right, let's see what we have so far. Where were those CCTV stills taken from?"
"They were taken from…" Robin began, trying to find the information on the sheet, Oh, here we go. They were taken from a service station. Layton was filling up his car." He squinted at the picture. "We should see if this car has been reported stolen."
"On it," Simon said, reaching for the phone but before he had a chance Robin sat up straight and gave a strained gasp. The sheet of paper fluttered to the floor as he looked at Simon in shock.
"Shit, I know that service station," he said, "this is going to silly but –" he almost smiled as he remembered, "when we were trying to help Alex get home and we travelled to Manchester, we stopped there… there was a bloody fire alarm, we all got evacuated. Kim had a horrible coffee and –" he trailed off as he realised he'd let that name slip and glanced guiltily as Simon. Simon let the receiver go for a moment as he looked at Robin.
"No, go on," he said quietly. He saw Robin hesitate and felt a little guilt of his own creeping on. Of course Robin wouldn't want to continue after all the things he'd said about Kim. He closed his eyes. "please?" he said quietly, "tell me."
"It's OK." Robin gave a tiny smile, "it wasn't important anyway. The main thing was that I knew the service station. That just felt weird."
Simon nodded slowly and picked up the paper. He read over the details himself and found the location striking a chord with him too. He bit his lip.
"Actually," he said quietly, "I know the same service station." He drew in his breath. "Bloody parallels again."
"Everyone talks about being one side of the line or the other," Robin said quietly, "I'm starting to think the line is just a bloody mirror."
He swallowed as the pain started to cross his forehead again. He could hear a click; the sound of the gun primed and ready to fire. He flinched and tried to breathe deeply. He needed to concentrate. He had to find Layton before his future counterpart had a chance to pull the trigger.
"So," he said quietly, "these are the confirmed or at least most likely sightings?"
"Uh-huh," Simon nodded. He looked along the papers, "It looks like he's taking the –" the phone started to ring which made them both jump. "Shit, wasn't expecting that," he whispered, clutching his chest. He calmed down enough to answer the call. "Hello? DCI Hunt's office?... no, this is DCI Shoebury. …Yeah. Yes, that's OK…" he glanced at Robin as the call continued, "Are you sure?" he paused, his expression becoming more intense, "can you put me through to someone at Manchester then?" he noticed a startled and horrified look on Robin's face and tried to calm him with a reassuring smile but since he felt just as unnerved the smile was wonky and didn't help in the slightest.
"What's going on, Simon" Robin asked quietly, "what's with Manchester?"
"Shh," Simon hissed as a voice came on, "Hi, yes, thanks for speaking to me. I hear you…" he stopped talking as the voice on the line began to fill him in with some details, "uh-huh…. Uh-huh… are you sure?... and have you got any footage?... Who made the positive ID?... And how many people are in hospital?"
"Oh Christ, Simon, if you're going to say things like that…" Robin's eyes bolted. This wasn't a good conversation to hear only half of.
"…Alright," Simon said, his voice trembling a little, "we're on our way. I'm going to give you my number, keep us posted and, uh," he paused and glanced at Robin, "and if you locate him… please, try not to do anything until we get there." He took a deep breath. "This is our collar." He passed on his mobile number to the voice on the line, then hung up and turned to Robin who looked stricken, unsure whether the voice in his head or the one Simon had been speaking to on the phone held more to fear.
"Well?" he whispered.
Simon looked at him seriously.
"Positive ID on Layton." He said quietly, "some tainted drugs have turned up along his route. Must have had a small stash somewhere that he's been selling to make some money on the way."
Robin bit his lip.
"On the way," he whispered, "to where exactly?"
Simon swallowed.
"All roads lead to Manchester," he whispered.
Robin closed his eyes and tried hard to keep his cool. Manchester. His pathway into Gene's world – was that his way out too? It made sense to him in a way. Perhaps he had to go back through the same part of the country he'd arrived? Once again, Layton seemed to be the catalyst.
"Manchester," he whispered.
Simon looked him in the eye.
"Worlds are closer in Manchester," he paraphrased the words Gene had used so many times.
Robin nodded slowly.
"Apparently so," he whispered, a lump rising to his throat.
"then that's where we're going," Simon told him.
"It's a long way from here," Robin said anxiously, "we'll never reach it in time."
"We can and we will."
"He's right by my bed," Robin told him, "he's about to pull the trigger. Manchester is hours away."
"Time doesn't work the same here, Rob," Simon reminded him, "one second out there could be days in this world."
"Or the other way round."
"We can beat it, Robin," Simon promised. He swallowed back tears. "The clock… is it still ticking?" He watched as Robin's eyes turned to the clock on the wall and he nodded. "Then it's not too late," Simon told him, "all the time that clock is ticking you've got a chance." He gathered up the papers strewn around the desk quickly and held out his hand. "Come on – we need to leave now."
Robin tried to keep himself calm.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered.
Simon stared at Robin, the face he knew so well, now belonging to a person so much stronger than he'd ever been before. He nodded tearfully.
"Don't make me live to regret it though," he whispered, "when you get back there live every moment to the full."
Robin nodded, barely able to speak.
"I will," he promised.
"Everyone keeps reminding me what I said in your letter," Simon whispered, "about meeting someone new. But no one ever remembers the other thing I asked."
Robin bit his lip.
"Which part?"
"Live your life for both of us," Simon whispered, which drew a choking sob from Robin.
"I've tried," he whispered.
"You've succeeded," Simon told him. He looked him right in the eye. "That's why you need to get back there, Rob. Carry on living that life."
Robin swallowed and nodded firmly.
"I will," he whispered.
Simon stood back and opened the door as Robin got to his feet. As both men passed through the doorway and began to pick up a faster pace through CID they could feel something building in the air around them. Things were shifting that night; changing, moving. If there was any justice then Robin would be moving too – back into his own time.
~xXx~
Gene and Alex walked through the car park with a clanking bag between them.
"Gene, why?" Alex groaned.
"It was on special," Gene protested.
"The last time you drank that stuff your pee was blue for a week."
The sight of two figures running toward the car pool caught their attention.
"Who the buggering hell –" Gene began before he noticed, "that's Shoebury, where's he going?"
"They must have found Layton," Alex said as Gene began to run towards them.
X
Simon plopped into the driver's seat and placed his papers on the dashboard.
"I need a new bloody car," he mumbled, discovering an unfortunate number of wrappers and cans in the car.
"I just needed a car in the first place," Robin commented as he climbed on the passenger side and reached for his seat belt.
"We'll take the quickest route," Simon told him, "with lights and sirens if necessary." He looked at Robin seriously, "you'll get there. We'll stop him."
Robin stared back. The change in Simon's attitude was so unexpected. Whether it was the talk he'd had with Alex or the way Robin's despair had affected him – maybe a little of both – something had changed within him and Robin would always be grateful for that. He could still see the pain in Simon's expression. He knew that there was still a part of Simon that longed for things to be different, but the fact that he was putting his own happiness aside for Robin was a sacrifice few could make.
"Thank you," he whispered.
As Simon turned the key and the engine began to roar the sound of a yell caught their attention.
"Oi! Geek convention!" They turned to see Gene flying towards them, "where are you two heading on a night like this?"
"Manchester," said Simon.
Gene couldn't have been more surprised if Simon had told him they were going looking for daffodils in the Antarctic.
"Manchester?" he cried, "might I ask why?"
"No time to explain," Simon told him quickly, "just got to go."
"Layton –" Robin vaguely called out but Simon hit the accelerator and the car began to move away, out of the car park.
"Bollocks," Gene cursed with a frown.
"Where are they going?" Alex cried as she caught up to him.
Gene turned to her and said in bewilderment;
"Manchester."
"Manchester?" Alex repeated, "W-why?"
"You tell me, Bols," he said, doubling back across the car park. Alex turned to follow him.
"Where are we going?" she demanded.
"Manchester!" Gene told her,
Alex rolled her eyes.
"I had a feeling you might say that," she sighed, "do we know where about in Manchester?"
"No," said Gene, "We'll just have to follow the rainbow."
Alex rolled her eyes as Gene reached the Aston Martin and unlocked the doors.
"It's going to be one of those nights, isn't it?" she sighed.
~xXx~
"Do you want the radio on?"
Simon's words brought Robin out of his thoughts. He realised they'd both been silent for some time. No wonder Simon wanted to fill the silence with music. He'd been caught between thinking about the situation, daydreaming about what it would like to wake up and thinking about Simon's change of attitude. He tried to shake himself back to reality.
"No, that's OK," he said quietly, "you never know what you might hear."
Simon glanced at him sympathetically.
"We'll make it in time," he insisted, "We're close now."
"Even when we get there we don't know where to start looking," Robin reminded him.
"So we look everywhere," Simon told him.
"I don't think that's physically possible."
"We will find him." Simon was very insistent. Robin wished he had the same faith.
~xXx~
Alex felt a strange shiver down her spine as Gene drove along on the trail of Simon and Robin. At first they'd just been winging it but they were fortunate enough to catch sight of the pool car and managed just about to stay on track to follow them.
"I don't like this, Gene," she said quietly.
"You'd better not be talking about me new set of wheels," said Gene.
Alex ignored his remark.
"I'm serious. This has too many parallels." She shuddered, "travelling to Manchester, trying to get home, tracing Layton." She looked at him, "what if it all goes wrong, Gene?"
"In what way goes wrong?" Gene asked, "lonely Simon recruits Layton to the rainbow brigade and they all live happily ever after?"
"What happens… for example… if Robin dies here?" she said quietly, "he might never get back. Layton doesn't hesitate to fire a bullet when he thinks he's got a reason."
"Can't say for certain," Gene told her, "depends on the state of his body out there. If he's ready to wake up and one of us is there to help him he might get home. If he's not ready in two thousand and bollocks," he paused and exhaled, "then two Robins, fifteen years apart, say goodbye for good."
Alex felt her heart sinking.
"And if he can't find Layton? Or he finds Layton but nothing changes?" she whispered.
Gene sighed.
"Then batman finds a permanent post at Fenchurch East," he said sombrely.
Alex bit her lip.
"What are his chances, Gene?" she whispered.
Gene turned to her as they stopped at traffic lights.
"Don't think that's for me to say, Bolly."
Alex looked down. Her heart was heavy. She'd made it home and knew just how desperate Robin was to make it back the other way. She felt her hope fading away and just prayed that Robin and Simon's positivity would prevail.
~xXx~
Simon didn't notice the silent tears rolling down Robin's face at first. His eyes were on the road and he'd been talking away about the phenomenon of Toastercide to try to pass sometime and give them both a distraction but as he realised Robin had been silent for a very long time he turned to make sure he was OK. After his earlier state Simon was worried that he had passed out beside him
"Robin?" he said quietly. The street lights illuminated the tears as the fell from his eyes, "Rob, what's wrong?"
Robin looked at Simon. There was no easy answer to that. There were so many thoughts churning around in his head, he couldn't organise them well enough to reply for a few moments until finally he whispered,
"I'm so sorry, Simon."
Simon looked at him sideways as he carried on driving.
For what?" he asked.
Robin could barely speak. He shook his head slowly as he tried and failed to suppress his emotions.
"Everything," he whispered, "Si, the last thing I ever, ever wanted to do was to hurt you. I would have done anything to stop you from hurting, I promise you that."
"Except choosing me," Simon said quietly.
"Oh, please, don't make me feel worse," Robin begged.
"I didn't mean to," Simon told him honestly, "that's not what I was trying to do, I promise." he shook his head, "I don't think I... I mean, I didn't… until tonight… realise how much she meant to you." He saw Robin turn his head down as though he was afraid to meet Simon's eye and Simon couldn't blame him after the things he'd said, "I've never seen you so desperate, Rob. Never seen that look on your face before. Never seen anyone look that scared of losing someone." He swallowed. It was painful to admit, even to himself, but he had to continue, "I-I don't think even I… when I found out I was dead… "
"Simon, you don't have to –" Robin began but Simon shook his head.
"No, I do," he said insistently, "I've been a complete…" he wasn't sure what expletive would be best so he decided to pause and leave that part for Robin to fill in, should he choose to, "It's not an excuse," he whispered, "but it took losing you to realise how much I loved you. And then when you came back and had met someone else it was like losing you all over again." He bit his lip as the rain started to fall, blurring his vision as much as the tears that had started building in his eyes. "But now were on our way to… to put things right for you," his voice caught as he spoke, "and I don't want to say goodbye while we're…. I don't want to fight… I don't –"
"I know," Robin whispered, "I know, Simon."
Simon swallowed and breathed in very deeply. He tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke again.
"Kim… she was my best friend here," he said quietly, "we were chalk and cheese but we just got on. She did something amazing for me; learning the letter off by heart to bring to you. And in return?" he swallowed. "I let her down."
"What do you mean?"
"I wasn't there when she needed me," Simon said quietly, "to send her home when some madman plunged a knife in her guts. I had a hangover… I'd had far too much to drink the night before. And the night before that. And most nights since we were separated. I overslept and got there too late." He gripped the steering wheel angrily. "Luckily Alex was there to send her on her way, make sure she went home, but I never got over that. I never forgave myself. And I missed her friendship so much." He looked at Robin. "It's no wonder you two got on so well., Didn't expect you to get on quite that well though."
Robin looked down, his cheeks reddening a little. He gave a tiny smile as he said,
"Simon, whatever you might think, Kim's never thought you've let her down in any way. You gave her the advice that saved her from Keats in the real world; how to stay hidden, changing her job. All of that. Friendship works both ways and Kim's memories of this world, all the good ones, they all seem to be about things you did together." He paused, "apart from some jumper that apparently traumatised her."
Simon gave a laugh that caught him by surprise. It was mixed with tears but for a moment he recalled just how much he loved spending time with Kim; going to Bask, hanging around in his flat, sharing a joke on cases. Perhaps his jealousy hadn't all been about Robin falling in love again; perhaps he was jealous of his best friend moving on too.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "when you get home please pass on my apologies to Kim for the years of trauma she's suffered as a result of my knitwear."
Robin laughed gently. This was nice. It was familiar. It was something he had missed. The tragedy was that it had taken the possibility of saying goodbye to get the talking again.
"Simon, right from the start of me and Kim… you know… I have been so scared of hurting you," he said softly, "because it's not that I stopped loving you." he shook his head slowly as he saw Simon's eyes flicker to him again, "I don't think I ever could. And if I hadn't met Kim," he swallowed.
"You don't have to say it," Simon whispered, "I don't want to be second prize."
"It's not like that," Robin whispered, "I wish I could explain this to you. I wish there was a way. It's… it's not the same with you as it is with Kim, and that doesn't make anything more or less important. I still love you and I will forever. And If there was a way that I could make you happy too… if there was a way…" he stopped talking as more tears threatened to fall. It took him several moments to calm himself before he could speak again. "I tried not to fall in love with her," he whispered, "I felt like I was cheating on you." he stared at his hand where the ring looked back at him, the metal catching the shafts of light that passed through the windscreen. Every time he thought what life would have been like without her he couldn't breathe. "I love her," he whispered, "I shouldn't be able to. But I do."
Simon swallowed.
"I know," he whispered, "I can see that, Robin. I can see it all over your face. And as much as it hurts, I think maybe… maybe you were meant to be together."
Robin hadn't expected that.
"You do?" he whispered.
Simon nodded.
"You've got that look in your eye right now, just thinking about her," he admitted quietly, "I never saw that in you when we were together."
Robin bit his lip and looked downward.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I… I can't see,… what you see… from the outside… but it's not that I loved you any the less. You were never less important to me. I'd have given my life for you. And what we had was," his expression hung midway between tears and joy, "wonderful. Powerful. And I will never forget – or regret – a minute we spent together."
"Neither will I," Simon whispered, "and I know what you're saying… but I've seen you in bleedthroughs. Not just… the one I told you about before," Simon said awkwardly. He didn't want to spell it out, "I've seen other moments that I didn't understand at the time. I've watched you laughing together. I've seen the way you smile at her. I've seen the way she looks at you." Simon drew in a tearful breath. She needs you as much as you need her." A ringing spoilt the moment and Simon roughly wiped his eyes with one hand as he carried on driving. "Shit, my phone," he mumbled, "…laws about not using your mobile phone while driving… they didn't come in this early did they?"
"I don't think so," Robin said quietly
"Good," said Simon. He pulled out his phone and held it to his ear. "Hello?" he listened for a while before his eyes flicked to Robin. "You have?" he asked, "Where?... are you sure?... and who identified him?..." he took a deep breath as he turned a corner, "alright, we're heading over. Just keep observing from a distance, don't get too close. We'll deal when we get there."
Robin stared at Simon.
"They've found him, " he said quietly. It wasn't a question.
"Yep," Simon said quietly.
Robin bit his lip.
"It's really happening?" he whispered.
Simon nodded, blinking away tears.
"Yup," he whispered.
"One way or another," Robin whispered, "this is going to decide my fate."
Simon nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. He pulled over to the side of the road. He couldn't see to drive any longer.
"Uh-huh," he whispered, trying to hold back the tears.
"It could go either way," Robin whispered. He turned to face Simon properly, "It might already be too late," he whispered, "or I might –"
Robin trailed off as Simon gulped and nodded.
"I know," he whispered. He opened his eyes and looked Robin in the eye, "but I think… I think," he tried to get his words out. "I think this is goodbye."
Robin's lip trembled as he stared at Simon. However things might have worked out, however much he needed to get home, however much his heart was devoted to Kim he would never ever stop caring for Simon and the thought of saying goodbye again was heart wrenching.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"Nothing to be sorry for," Simon promised him. A salty tear found its way from his cheek to his lip and he licked it away.
"I wish –" Robin's voice was almost too low to be heard.
"I know," Simon whispered.
Robin bit furiously on his lip. He looked into Simon's eyes as their colour almost faded to greys of sadness.
"Thank you," he whispered, "for everything."
"Just be happy," Simon whispered.
With affection and familiarity they were drawn to one another as they shared a long and intimate embrace. They held one another tearfully, the feeling of each other's arms bringing comfort, warmth and nostalgia. Simon closed his eyes as he held Robin's head against the side of his face. He felt himself trembling, the emotion of the night too strong for him to bear. He slowly turned and pressed his lips to Robin's cheek, the seal of a bond that was still there, even if the goalposts were shifting from love to friendship.
"I'll miss you so much," he heard Robin whisper against him.
Simon swallowed.
"I love you, "he breathed.
He understood why Robin couldn't say it back.
Eventually they drew away and looked at one another with the slightest of smiles, both anxious and emotional. They both knew that their time for goodbyes had passed and that it was time to focus on the difficult task ahead. They dried their eyes, cooled their emotions and prepared for the next step. The difficult part still awaited them.
"Come on," Simon whispered, "Let's get you home."
~xXx~
"What on earth are they doing?" Alex peered through the windscreen trying to see the car parked in front of them.
"Looks like about three seconds away from bursting into song," said Gene, "can't work out if that's supposed to be an 'ug or a rugby scrum." He turned to Alex, "What the bloody hell did you say to Shoebury, it's all – hug me Batman, all is forgiven!"
"Just gave him a friendly ear," Alex told him, "look, are we trying to help them or stalk them?" She saw Gene looking at her with confusion, "it's just, we pulled up behind them and instead of telling them we've come to help we're just sitting here, keeping them under surveillance."
No sooner had Alex finished speaking than the pool car started up and Simon began to drive away.
"Bugger, they're off again," mumbled Gene as he started the engine, "looks like we'll have to keep following them for now."
"Where are they going?" Alex wondered.
"Looks like they've been given a location," said Gene, "that speed is the trademark of Simon driving with a purpose."
As Gene began to follow them again, both he and Alex spent the journey in silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts. It was during the silence that Alex noticed the sky was a little too dark and the stars a little too bright. Something was going to happen that night, one way or the other. Worlds were passing closer than ever – Alex just hoped Robin could make that leap before it was too late.
~xXx~
Robin turned the rear view mirror to take a look at his reflection. He wanted to make sure he didn't show any signs of the emotional journey they'd made. The last thing he wanted to do was to slap a pair of cuffs on Layton with tear tracks all down his face. He looked fairly respectable all but for his slightly bloodshot eyes and he was fairly sure that Layton's were going to be ten times worse than his. He pushed his fringe away from his eye and moved the mirror back to where it had been before, took a deep breath and let it out slowly, waiting for Simon to return. He peered out of the window and saw him in the distance, talking to someone in a panda car.
"This is it," Robin muttered to himself, "Robin Thomas, this is your early morning wake up call. No pressing snooze. Open your eyes and get the fuck out of bed."
He could feel his heart beating so hard. He felt alive, desperate to press on and get things started. He pictured Kim in his mind, the smile he missed so much. By her own admission she never smiled before she met him. She'd never truly smiled after she'd come back from Gene's world. But that changed when they began to get close. Now that smile was the one thing he focused on; his prize. It was waiting for him.
He saw Simon heading back in his direction and he tried to pull himself together. It was time for action, not for daydreaming. The door opened and Simon threw himself inside quickly, a sheet of paper in his hands.
"I spoke to the sergeant who's leading the uniformed back-up," he said, "they're happy to leave the collar to us, but if we need help they're there."
"Good to know," Robin said, a little nervously.
The radio in the car seemed to spark into life for a second, spluttering with static before switching back off. Both pairs of eyes turned to it, then to each other.
"What the hell was that?" Simon whispered, his spine tingling with shock.
"Momentary glitch?" Robin said hopefully. He swallowed and stared at the radio but it stayed dead. Finally Simon felt he could carry on.
"Layton's been in there since midnight," Simon nodded towards the ramshackle building they had parked a short distance away from. "Apparently they received a tip-off from a snout who had a long-standing grudge against Layton. Used to deal down in London, spent some time doing business with Layton, bought a batch of pills in good faith during the rave era and fed a load of kids dog worming tablets and slug pellets. Not only did their business partnership crumble but he lost his market and moved up north. He was out working his usual patch when he saw Layton muscling in on the area. He'd seen a news report about his escape earlier tonight and was glad to part with the information."
"So what's the building?" asked Robin.
"It used to be used as some sort of community hall," Simon told him, "youth clubs, judo classes, old women having tea parties…. That sort of thing. But it fell into disrepair at the start of the nineties with the last recession. Since then it's been a hangout for the odd dealer an prostitute. It's not exactly a thriving area."
The radio crackled again. The display lit up and a distorted DJ's voice said a few words before it fell silent again, leaving Simon and Robin with nothing more than a shiver travelling down their spine.
"That thing needs to shut up," Robin shuddered, trying to cover up just how much it scared him. He tried to block it out of his mind. "So, Layton…?" he prompted.
Simon nodded.
"He's squatting from the looks of it. Might have heard about it from another dealer or someone who worked for him."
A sudden knocking on the window caused them both to jump out of their skin and give a strangled scream.
"What the fuck?" cried Robin as Simon wound down the window.
"Gene?"
Shaking his head, Gene stared at them with a mix of disapproval and amusement.
"The pair of you scream like a couple of five year olds who've just found out Santa Claus doesn't exist," he said.
"Where the hell did you even come from?" Simon demanded as he noticed Alex approaching too.
"Followed you," frowned Gene as though it was the simplest answer in the world.
"All the way from London?" cried Robin.
"You couldn't have called my mobile?" cried Simon, "or, I don't know, beeped your horn or something instead of giving us bloody heart attacks?"
"No."
"Oh." There wasn't much to say to that. "OK."
Robin nodded towards the building.
"Layton's in there," he said quietly."
"Just get in, would you?" Simon told them, opening the back door for them to get inside, "too much bloody unwanted attention with you hanging around outside."
Gene reluctantly shifted himself into the back with Alex.
"After experiencing the height of comfort in me Aston Martin this is like sitting on a bed of nails," he complained.
"That can be arranged," Simon threatened.
Robin looked at Simon nervously.
"I haven't heard any voices for hours," he said quietly, "is it already too late?"
"I don't know," Simon told him honestly.
"Has he shot me already?"
"I really don't know, Rob," Simon told him, worry splashed across his face, "maybe time out there is just…." He paused, "waiting for us to catch up."
"Here," Gene fumbled at his wrist then threw something into Robin's lap, "what does this say?"
Robin looked down and found a watch laying across his leg. He picked it up and stared at it.
"Half past one," he said quietly.
"Is it ticking?"
Robin held the watch to his ear, holding his breath. The sound of the second hand moving round was beautiful. He closed his eyes and nodded silently, barely daring to acknowledge it.
"Good," said Gene. He held out his hand, "Now give me me bloody watch back."
Robin frowned slightly but passed the timepiece back over his shoulder.
"There," he said.
Gene took it back and fastened it to his wrist, then looked back at Robin.
"You ready for this?
"Not sure ready is the word," Robin admitted, "But," he nodded, "I have to do it."
"Robin," Alex's voice was quiet and as he turned to her he could see her face laden with emotion, "I need you to do something for me. When you get back."
Robin nodded.
"Anything."
"Tell Kim…" she paused and swallowed. Tell her what? What words could ever express her gratitude, "Just tell her… tell her she'll never know how much she's done for me."
Robin didn't know what she meant but nodded anyway.
"OK," he said quietly.
"So," Gene began, "what's your plan?"
Simon held the piece of paper he'd been given by the uniformed officers.
"Main entrance here," he pointed to a small diagram, "fire exit round the back. Layton is likely somewhere around the front of the building, the back had sustained a fair amount of damage and isn't really used by the… the less respectable members of the public. Gene? Alex? Are you in?"
"Insane," said Gene , "to be thinking about helping you,." he looked at Robin. "Don't get your hopes up too much, Batman. Sam Tyler's fancy-schmancy paradox-beating time-travel techniques don't work for everyone."
Robin swallowed
"It'll work," he whispered, "because it has to."
That was the moment the radio chose to switch itself on again, this time at full volume, with a song bursting through the speakers that chilled Robin to the core.
# …You took the tunnel route home,
you've never taken that way with me before.
Did you feel the need for change?
Apologies on your fingernails,
love flickered in the city of lights,
Like intermittent radio waves… #
"What the fuck is going on?" Simon looked at him anxiously, "what the hell song is that?"
Robin turned as white as a sheet.
"A song that isn't released for another thirteen years," he whispered. He closed his eyes and drew his hand to his head. Suddenly the pain was back. The last time he hard those lyrics, he soon ended up taking a bullet in the back and waking up in Gene's world. Things were moving now. Things were moving at breakneck speed.
"Think that's your friend Mister Layton."
Gene's voice moved Robin away from his thoughts. He looked up, his hand still against his forehead, and stared out of the windscreen as a figure left the building, half-shielded by darkness, and started to move shiftily away.
Shit –
It was now or never. It had to be now. Wait a moment longer and lose him forever.
Robin breathed faster and faster, his heart speeding up as he clasped his gun, then without waiting a moment longer he threw open the car door and let his legs take him with speed towards the man, never once looking back.
"Robin –" Simon called his name, even though he knew he couldn't hear him. He tumbled from the car while Gene and Alex climbed out of the back. "Robin –" Simon swallowed as he watched Robin approaching Layton. He turned to Gene and Alex, "Should we –"
"We wait," Alex said quietly. She thought tearfully back to her first days in Gene's world, her anger as she was stopped from taking Layton down alone. Despite all that had happened since there was always a part of her that had wondered whether she'd have found a passage back to the real world if things had gone as she planned. And while she wouldn't have changed her life for the world, she couldn't help but wonder. Perhaps that was how Robin would find his way home.
X
The music grew fainter as he ran. It called to mind a terrifying night, running to the barge. Back then he'd left the music playing so that he knew when he heard it again they would be safe. This time, as he heard the music fade, the further away the sound of the song he grew the closer he got to home.
There he was. Layton. Close.
"Freeze," Robin cried as he held his gun in front of him.
His voice stopped Layton in his tracks and he stood against the wall, eyes open wide with shock. From the look on his face he'd been at his own stash. He dived back towards the doorway, hoping that the building would provide some kind of shelter or distraction. He knew that the back of the building was in a mess and provided the best chance he had of escaping scot-free – windows had been smashed, piles of rubble made rooms hard to navigate and he had the advantage over Robin, or anyone else who tried to accost him since he'd already explored them at length.
Robin hadn't expected him to double back on himself to the building, he'd expected him to run the other way and the change of direction caught him a little off-guard.
"Shit," he mumbled, spinning around and giving chase. He panicked a little. Should he shoot? Was he supposed to bring Layton in dead or alive, for that matter? Which would help him home? Which would stop the man by his bedside from pulling the trigger? How the hell was he supposed to figure this out?
The pain in his head grew stronger and he flinched as he ran along. It slowed him for a moment, his hand reaching to his temple. Oh god, he could feel the gun there, pressed up against it; the hard, cold metal… unfeeling, unforgiving, determined to end his life.
Oh god, was this it?
Layton ran through the doorway into the darkness just as his voice played through Robin's head.
'…One more problem out my way –'
"No!" Robin cried, as he put on a burst of speed. He reached the doorway and stared into blackness; darkness, nothingness, and then, from somewhere inside his head, the most blinding of lights took its place.
X
"Where the hell's he going?" Simon mumbled as he watched anxiously from afar, the sight of Layton running back to the doorway confusing him.
"What's batman waiting for?" Gene cried, "shoot his kneecaps off!"
"Gene!" Alex cried, "that's not regular police procedure!"
"Do I look like a regular policeman?" cried Gene.
They carried on watching, almost afraid to draw breath, as Robin turned and gave chase toward the building. Layton ran inside until darkness enveloped him and Robin pursued him, one hand reaching to his forehead,
"Oh god," Simon whispered, "that doesn't look good."
But as Robin arrived at the doorway, something happened. A moment before he'd be caught up by the dark interior of the room he stopped, a hand to his eyes as though blinded by something the others couldn't see. He froze where he stood, then dropped to his knees.
"What the -?" Simon whispered, "Is he hurt? Has he been –"
He stopped talking as Robin raised his head to the sky, enveloped by awe for something no one else could see, and before them he faded until there was nothing left to see.
For a moment Simon thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. He stared and blinked, rubbed his eyes, leaned forward and tried to make sense of it.
"It's…. it's dark in the building…" he found himself rambling, "Robin must have… must have gone too far inside to see…"
"Simon, he's gone," Alex told him gently.
"He's in there," Simon tried to protest but even he knew that was a lie. He was clutching at straws. They'd all seen it. Robin had vanished, faded, left the world in a split second of blinding light that had dragged him away. He stared on, half his mind in denial. It had been his decision to help him, he'd wanted to help him, but at the same time he hated to admit he was hoping that Robin wouldn't leave. He pretended there weren't tears in his eyes as he rubbed them away roughly with his sleeve.
"It's not supposed to be that easy," Gene said quietly, his understanding of his world falling apart more with every new development.
"I wouldn't call that easy," Alex said quietly, "a two hundred mile journey to find the man." She put her hand on Simon's shoulder and he jumped a little. "Simon? Are you OK?"
Simon just carried on staring. He heard the radio slowly fading out in the car, its job done for now. The empty space where Robin had stood just a moment before showed no remnants of his passage to another time.
"I'm fine," he said quietly.
They left him standing and staring for a few moments more before they realised that he'd be waiting there all night if they let him. Gene elbowed Alex who made a face and rubbed her ribs dramatically.
"Say something," Gene mouthed to he, nodding in Simon's direction.
"You say something," Alex scowled back.
"Why me?" Gene mouthed.
"Your bloody world," Alex told him.
"Our world."
"Not tonight!"
Gene sighed. He looked at Simon; his shoulders slumped and his expression empty and desolate. They needed to get him out of there for his own good. They could leave Layton to the uniformed officers awaiting the cue to offer back-up.
"Alright, son, time to get out of here," Gene vaguely guided Simon around and turned his head towards the car instead of the building that he'd happily have stared at for an eternity. "Stare too hard and the walls'll cave in."
"We'll drive you home," Alex said quietly, "the pool car can wait."
But before they could move far the radio in the car burst into life again, and another chorus began to play out while from the decrepit building behind them gunfire was heard. Wide-eyed and startled, Simon stared Gene in the eye.
"What the fucking hell was that?" he demanded.
Since Gene had no answer to his question the three did the only thing they could – they turned and ran toward the building together, reaching for their guns and petrified of what they might find when they arrived. Did Layton have a gun? Had Robin's stayed behind when he disappeared? Who the hell had he shot? What was going on in there? All manner of strange and terrible scenarios and possibilities played through their minds, but when it came down to it the reality was much, much worse than any one of them could have imagined.
Bleeding and angry, Layton's cuffed image greeted them, shoved out of the doorway where he stumbled to the ground. The shock of that was soon overshadowed as their eyes rose to regard the person who had pushed him from the building.
"Robin?" Simon stared, aghast, his jaw hanging open and his eyes widening.
"What the bleeding hell –" Gene began.
The three of them stared at him; his face so different from the desperate but hopeful Robin who'd vanished before their eyes. There were angry tears rolling down his cheeks, dark fury in his eyes and a bitterness in his expression that Simon had never seen before.
"Robin?" Alex couldn't understand what had happened, "I thought... we all saw –"
"You vanished," cried Simon, "We thought you made it –"
But Robin's eyes were fixed on Layton.
"Six weeks," he spat as he kicked out and slammed his foot into Layton#s stomach which made him splutter and made Simon reel in shock.
"Rob, what the hell?"
"Six fucking weeks?" Robin cried. He stared at Layton with absolute contempt, "Is that all I'm worth? Is that all I deserve? I had my life back! I was going to have a family! You took everything away from me – everything."
"Robin, I don't understand," cried Simon as Robin tried to go for Layton again, held back at the last moment by Gene.
"You need to stop that before you end up in the cells," he hissed, aware of the irony, all the years he'd spent jabbing the boot into suspects to get what he wanted.
"So?" Robin turned around, "it's not like I've got anything to lose. Not any more."
"Rob, I can't understand this," cried Simon, his confusion reaching epic proportions, "I saw you vanish, I saw you disappear… I thought you'd gone home –"
"I did," Robin's frantic face turned to Simon. The anger was dissipating now, replaced by devastation, "I went home. I had six weeks – six fucking weeks – and then he came out of hiding." His eyes were overflowing and in his despair he could hardly speak. His words were slurred and stammered, "No one even knows how Kim survived –"
"Kim?" Simon repeated.
"What happened?" Alex whispered, trembling.
Robin swallowed and shook.
"A bloodbath, they called it," he whispered, "that was the words of the station, not the tabloid press. Three dead, four injured. Kim's DCI… some DC who only joined a month ago… some uniformed officer who shouldn't have even been in the office at the time.. all dead. He stared in disgust at Layton, still spluttering on the floor. "And as for Kim, " Robin could hardly force the words out. His whole body shook and he barely stayed upright. His eyes focused on Layton, "you depraved, horrifying bastard – she was pregnant! She was fucking pregnant!"
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Layton cried, "I don't know who you're talking about."
"Whatever you've been through this isn't the Layton behind it!" Gene tried to remind him, holding onto his arms to make sure he couldn't dive in for another round.
"They banned me from going after him," he cried, "said I was too close to it. So what happened – he came after me while I was sitting at home."
"But I still don't understand –" Simon cried, trying to work out what was happening.
"I'm dead, Simon," Robin screamed, "I'm fucking dead."
Alex felt like her own heart stopped as she stared at his face; the despair he showed as hot tears ran from his eyes.
"Oh god, no," she whispered.
"It's all over," Robin bitterly pulled away from Gene's grasp and started to walk away, every pace a little faster than the last, every step a little angrier, "It's all over for me now."
Simon stared on, feeling his heart rate quicken and his hands start to shake. He couldn't quite believe what had happened. He couldn't process it. The last few minutes had seen events flip on their head in a matter of moments and he couldn't take it all in. And he knew that the moment Robin vanished he'd gone into denial, the moment he saw him disappear he'd have done anything to see him come back - but not like this.
"Not like this," he whispered his eyes skipping from Robin to Layton and back again, "oh god, not like this." He swallowed as he watched Robin's pace quickening and started to run after him. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do or to say, he just knew he had to be there. He needed to follow. He needed to help him, somehow –
"Robin," he called after him. "Robin, wait –"
Robin couldn't stop walking. He couldn't cope. He didn't know what to do. His body just carried on, running on autopilot while his mind shut down. It was too much, too difficult for anyone to handle. But eventually the voice behind him got the better of him.
"Rob, please, stop – I'm here." There was a pause. "Let me be there for you."
Robin felt his footsteps slowing until finally he came to a halt. He froze, standing in the middle of the muddy grass bank like some sort of human scarecrow. He seemed to stand still for the longest time, then finally he turned around slowly and his eyes met Simon's.
"I've lost everything," he whispered, sobs breaking through his words, "it's all over."
Simons own eyes filled up until they slowly spilled over.
"I know," he whispered. He'd been there. Not so long ago, he'd been right there. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Robin."
He moved towards him, his arms open as his lip trembled. There were no selfish thoughts in his head no, no hint of feeling glad that he was back, or indulging in the fact that Robin could never find his way home to Kim, no thoughts of trying to win him back or relief that he was no longer alive out there. All he had on his mind was to offer the love and support that Robin needed from someone who has been right where he was now.
As he felt Simon's arms close around him, Robin's anger and devastation gave way to a pure and unrelenting sadness and the loud sobs broke forth against his shoulder. The arms that held him couldn't take away the pain but they provided the warmth and care that showed him he wasn't alone.
Robin's life was over; his fight and his journey to no ends. Where to go from there, he couldn't even think about. Six weeks. He'd had six more weeks with Kim, six more weeks in the real world, six more weeks to live his life, and now it was over.
His heart stopped in one world and broke in another.
~xXx~
A/N: So I just sobbed my way through writing this entire chapter. Seriously not helping the migraines!
Special anniversary for me today. Two years since I sat down in the morning and told myself that I was going to write a piece of A2A fan fiction to undo the ending to the series and I was going to bloody well finish it if it killed me. Somewhere in the process I managed to slaughter my writer's block, a whole decade's worth of it, in fact. All thanks to Ashes to Ashes. I am seriously, deeply grateful for that.
Although I can't eat fish or biscuits any more. Nor can I watch Red Dwarf or Come Dine With Me in the same light. And I'm scared my toaster is going to kill me. And I have a phobia of people called Geoff and people who have beards. Don't even get me started on Andrew Ridgeley.
To everyone who's put up with my stupidity (and cruelty, I'm not particularly nice to any characters to be honest, I think I am an equal opportunity torturer!) thank you so much for reading and sharing this warped world. You are awesome :) x x x