You are now Special Agent Natara Williams.

I cleaned myself up quickly, expecting that Neha had paid me a visit. She was probably drunk and needed a place to crash.

But when I opened the door, I was stunned.

"Mal?"

He smiled, with his hands behind his back.

"What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

He kept smiling, and made his way around me into the hotel room. I desperately tried to see what was behind his back, but he moved quickly enough that I couldn't. "I know your wedding is in a few days. And I didn't really know what to do for a gift. I didn't want to get you and Santos silverware, plates, or potpourri so…. Here's your present."

He brought his hands out, and I couldn't help but smile at what was in them.

It was a tiny, stuffed horse. In the other, was a tiny black box. I panicked. "A horse? I'm so confused."

He chuckled. "I wanted to get you a pet, because I know you kept saying you wanted one. And I know the only animal you truly want is… a horse. But, you live in the city, and can't really keep one here. So, I give you…" He opened the little tag attached that had the horses name printed on it, "Shane."

You are now Detective Mal Fallon.

"…Shane…" Her beautiful green irises began to swell. "But that sounds like.."

I had never seen her shed a tear. She was always so strong. And when I came up here, I noticed she looked upset, but I never thought I'd see the day where Natara Williams cried. "Are you talking about Shawn Mallory? Nat, I know it was hard, and that you were very close to him before he… you know… fell off the deep end. And look, I swear I didn't do this to upset you.. I… "

She shook her head. I could see her breaking point on the verge. And a cruel, deep, sadistic part of me wanted her to break down a little. I wanted her to see that I was here for her. I was going to be strong when she couldn't. That was the point of us being partners. "It's fine, Mal. I'm fine."

Suddenly, I couldn't control myself. "No, Natara. You're not. Your eyes are red, swollen, and you look pale. You look terrified. What's wrong?"

She froze, all I could do was move closer.

"Talk to me." She buried her face, trying to hide the oncoming tears.

"Mal, I'm fine." She mumbled.

"I'm sick of you telling me that. You shouldn't lie to me. I can understand hiding things from yourself, but don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying Mal!" She completely broke down. She kept talking, but I couldn't make any sense. Everything was muffled by tears and my chest.

My arms were around her instantly, comforting her, rubbing her back, stroking her hair. I acted like I knew what to do here, but really, I didn't have a clue.

Nobody wants to see somebody they love hurting. Especially when I didn't have the slightest clue how to fix it.

After about five minutes of her blurting out sentences and words I couldn't understand, I felt the crying stop. "Natara, listen. I don't know what you're going through, and it would be a whole lot easier if I did. But here's what I do know. I know that you and I, we've survived so many things. We've surpassed terrorist attacks, psychopath ex-boyfriends, masked murderers, and well… we've come this far. And we're still in one piece. I know you're going to be okay, Natara. You're the strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I know. You're going to do just fine, no matter what you do in life. Trust me."

Suddenly, everything was silent, and there was a sniffle. And she slowly pulled her face out of my chest. "I know I'm going to be alright… it's just that… I don't want to be."

I waited, knowing there had to be more.

"I wanna be good… I wanna be happy."

I froze. "Wait, aren't you?"

She moved away from me towards the window, where she glanced down. Obviously, she didn't want to be near me. I didn't know if she felt insecure or what, but I knew that this was my chance to talk to her. And I had to take advantage. "But doesn't Oscar make you happy?" I followed her, and brushed the wispy hairs out of her face.

"Oscar's great but… I don't know."

"Aren't you guys in love?"

I moved my hand down to her waist, and that's when she froze.

"M-Mal… To be honest, I don't know. I know he loves me… but I-I don't know if I.. "

I turned her around to face me, as more light tears continued to fall. "Natara, honey… Look at me." I let my finger rest underneath her chin, while I attempted to tell her words with my eyes. They screamed at her. I love you, Natara. That's right, I, your partner, am in love with you. Please. Tell me you do. All you need to do is say the words, and I can make everything perfect for you again.

I saw a light in her eyes, despite how dim the room was, and how eerie the silence was. Everything told me to move in. I even heard Ken, screaming down from the heavens, to do it. Just do it.

So I did.

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams.

The earth shattered when I felt Mal's lips crash with mine. My legs gave out, but Mal caught me. His arms made their way around my waist and I was stuck. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I could barely even breathe. I felt like a teenage girl again, in love.

But then, my brain had to interfere. "Mal? What are you doing?"

He frowned and backed far away. I felt horrible. I couldn't bear his puppy dog gaze. Those piercing blue eyes burning holes in the floor… I wanted them to look back at me. But he wouldn't. He felt bad, and I could tell. But I had done it, I had technically cheated on Oscar, with my partner, Mal. I felt way worse than he ever could have felt. "Mal, I think you should go."

He nodded. And that eerie silence that was there earlier, it came back. But this time, Mal wasn't in it. And he didn't have his lips pressed against mine. And his arms weren't wound around me. I felt… alone. That's when I realized the worst part of the whole thing.

I was the one making the mistake. If I loved him, which I did, I needed to be with him. Not Oscar. And as handsome as Oscar was, he wasn't Mal. He didn't have the trust I gave Mal. He didn't have Mal's personality. Not his cheeky grin, his ocean blue eyes, his amazing smile. Oscar didn't have one big thing though, the love. Mal gave me so much unconditional love, even as friends and partners, that Oscar could never give me. And during those few seconds when Mal and I were tangled up in each other during that kiss, I realized that I was happier then, then I'd ever really been.

And it was only fitting that I needed to follow my gut. I ran down the hall of the hotel, panting, but still running. "MAL! WAIT!"

Fellow guests noticed as I ran past, but I didn't care.

I turned the corner, eyeing the elevator. "M-Mal!" I whimpered. But I was out of breath. I was too late.

Detective Mal Fallon

I didn't think it would ever come to Natara rejecting me. I was certain that she felt the same way that I did. She was stubborn, yeah, and I was prepared to break through that barrier. But this, her asking me to leave?

I didn't know what else I could do.

The only thing I could think about was her, and the softness of her lips as she buried herself in my arms, how amazing her perfume smelled, how smooth her hair was. I just wanted it back. But then I realized the harsh truth. That if she loved me, and it was meant to be. She would have come running after me. I waited then for a moment. Waiting to see her hotel room open.

Oh well. I went back to the elevator, and pressed the respective buttons to get back downstairs. And as the doors closed behind me, I thought I heard my name.

But knowing me, and my clearly delusional mind, I kept going. She didn't love me at all, at least not like how I loved her. That was for Shawn, for Oscar, for anybody else in her past… but not for me.