Chapter 13

The family clean up dinner, having to throw away a lot of food, since no one was really hungry. Especially one plate is completely full as the intended person never came down. Mrs. Knight sighs when she looks at it.

"We should bring it to him." Kendall suggests. Everyone just stares, no one sure who should be the one to do it. He is so scared of everyone now.

"I'll do it." James replies.

"James, are you sure?" Logan asks carefully. They still haven't forgotten the first moment James tried to reach out to Carlos. Not that it's something easy to forget.

"Yeah, I have to. I need to show him he can trust me." He says, but the others can hear some doubt in his voice.

"Okay, but be careful." Logan tells him and pats him on the back. James just nods. He grabs the plate and takes a deep breath before climbing up the stairs.

He walks down the hall and stops for moment to sigh deeply and knocking on the door.

"Carlos?" He softly calls out, waiting for a response. "I've got some dinner for you. Carlos?" He knocks again, not even realizing that his friend will never respond. "It's corndogs, you're favorite." He says with a smile, then finally realizing why his friend won't respond. He grabs the door handle and slowly opens the door.

He carefully pokes his head inside. "Carlos?" He softly calls out again and looks through the room as he steps further in. He walks up to his desk and puts down the plate as he looks around. He frowns when he doesn't see Carlos anywhere.

"Carlos?" He calls out louder now as he walks out the door again and into the hallway. He walks around, panicking a little as he doesn't see his friend anywhere. Just when he's about to yell down the stairs, he can hear rustling nearby.

He steps back a little and is confused to hear sounds coming from his own room. He walks towards the doorway and his eyes widen when he sees Carlos sitting on his bed, frowning at a small plastic bag in his hand.

"What are you doing in here?" He calls out harshly and Carlos whips his head up with panicked eyes. "How did you find that? Give it to me!" He hurries over to the bed with angry eyes, but Carlos quickly gets up and runs past him.

"Give it back, Carlos, that's not yours!" He quickly hurries after the boy in a panic. Carlos runs into a nearby bathroom and locks the door. James runs up to it and jiggles the handle, before starting to pound on the door. "Open this door, Carlos. Carlos!" he yells as he starts to pound his body into the door to try and get it ti open up.

With allthe yelling going on suddenly, the others have rushed upstairs.

"James, what are you doing?" Kendall asks him as they look at him in confusion.

"Carlos locked himself in the bathroom. He was in my room, Kendall. He took something that wasn't his.." He says while he still tries to pound the door down.

"James, get yourself together, man. You're probably scaring the crap out of him." Kendall says again as he tries to pull James away from the door. James just shrugs him off.

"I don't care, he needs to learn not to touch other people's stuff!"

"Dude, he's not a child we're raising. What did he take anyway?" Logan asks him.

"It… It doesn't matter. I just need it back." James tells his friends as he pounds on the door again. "Open up the freaking door, Carlos!" He yells and then in one movement finally swings the door open.

Inside the bathroom stands Carlos. His eyes go wide as saucers as he sees James. But James is looking at what he's got in his hands. The boy is standing in front of the sink, quickly holding the plastic bag upside down and trying to shake the contents out and into the sink.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" James yells and barges in and straight for Carlos. He grabs the bag from his hands roughly, pushing the boy aside. Carlos falls to the ground, resulting in a gasp from the others.

"Dude!" Kendall exclaims and James whips his head around.

"What!" he yells and then finally looks at Carlos. The boy is cowering on the floor, trying to avoid James' gaze.

"What is wrong with you?" Kendall now yells and he comes into the bathroom and stands in front of Carlos in a protective stance.

"He took this from my room. He doesn't have the right to touch my stuff!" James yells.

"We have always touched each other's stuff. What is so different now?" Kendall asks him with an intent gaze.

"I just… This was private… He shouldn't have touched it. And he sure as hell shouldn't have thrown it out. Do you have any idea what you've done?" he yells as he directs his gaze on Carlos again. The boy flinches and the others watch from the doorway in shock, as he seems to hide himself behind Kendall's legs. Kendall himself hasn't noticed.

"Don't yell at him! If this bag was so important to you, you shouldn't have kept it laying around!" He yells at his friend.

"I didn't leave it laying around, I hid it in my suitcase!" James yells back and suddenly the room is filled in silence. Kendall looks at him curiously.

"Why were you hiding something in your suitcase?" He asks, crossing his arms.

"I… Does it matter? What matters here is that he went through my suitcase. He stole it from me!" James yells again and Kendall walks closer to him.

"Why are you getting o worked up over this, James? What is so important about that bag?" He asks in a soft voice.

James gulps. "I..It's not. It's not important. I just…"

"Let me see the bag, James." Kendall tells him, holding out his hand.

"I… No, why should I?" James tells him as he tries to avoid his gaze.

"Give me the bag, James." Kendall tells him a bit louder now, his voice is starting to sound threatening.

"No." James tells him and he steps back.

"James, give me the damn bag!" Kendall tells him and lunges for him, successfully grabbing the bag from his hands. He eyes the small bag curiously, seeing the pills inside. "What kind of pills are these?"

"It doesn't matter." James tells him, now looking at the floor.

"James, what kind of pills are these?" He asks in a louder tone as he opens the bag and takes out a pill. He waves it in James' face. "What is this?"

"It's ecstasy, alright?" James finally admits. They all stare at him in shock. "You don't get it, alright? I just feel so tired sometimes and these help me relax."

"Why would you ever take these? Why didn't you just talk to us about it?" Kendall asks in a softer voice now, etched with concern.

"It's not like you'd understand…" He mumbles.

"Not understand? You think we wouldn't understand? James, we're all going through the same thing here!" He yells again, but his eyes are filled with hurt and confusion now. "How long have you been taking them?"

"Not that long.."

"How long have you been taking them?" Kendall's voice sounds angrier now as he stares at his friend.

"A couple of months." James tells him with a sigh.

"Oh my god.. James.. I don't even… I don't get why you couldn't have just talked to us. You really think we feel all relaxed? You think we're doing fine? God… I just don't…"

"No!" james suddenly yells and he looks behind Kendall. Kendall looks behind him as well and sees in shock how Carlos has somehow managed to grab the bag from his hands and lets it fall into the toilet. James tries to stop him, but he quickly flushes the toilet.

Everyone stares in shock as to what just occurred.

James shakes his head slowly, before suddenly lunging himself at Carlos. Carlos' eyes widen and he jumps behind Kendall, who in turn stands before him, holding out his arms to protect him.

"James…" Kendall starts as he tries to remind him what he's doing. "James, calm down…"

"He threw them away. Those were expensive!"

"You don't need them, James, think about what you're doing…"

"He shouldn't have done that, Kendall. They were mine.." he lunges again and suddenly Kendall freezes up. He finally feels that Carlos has grabbed onto the back of his shirt tightly and is hiding his body close behind his.

His eyes are wide and he locks them with the others, who still stand in the doorway in shock. They too have seen Carlos grabbing hold of Kendall and try not to smile.

"James, just knock it off. Carlos just threw out your pills. Carlos did that, think about it!" Logan suddenly appears from behind him. James look back for a second.

"I know he did that, that's why I want to reach him!" he says as he tries again. Kendall carefully steps back as Carlos' other hand now also grabs him.

"James.." Logan starts again and he carefully puts his hands on his friends', pulling them away from Carlos' reach. "Carlos threw out your pills. He made sure you couldn't take them anymore. Don't you see? He was concerned about you." Logan softly explains.

James looks back at the cowering Carlos for a moment, before looking at Logan again. "But I… I don't understand." He shakes his head. "Why was he even going through my suitcase in the first place?"

"I don't know, but he did. And he tried to help you. He's sending you a message, James." Logan tells him with a smile. James looks confused, but he finally steps back.

"So, you really think he threw them out because he's concerned about me?" He asks, a little bit of hope in his eyes.

"I think so, yeah.." Logan softly tells him.

"Wow, I… Carlos, I…" he walks up to Carlos, but he makes sure to hide himself behind Kendall. James looks guilty. "I'm sorry, buddy… I didn't see what you were doing. I just… I know, I shouldn't have taken the pills in the first place. Sometimes I just… I can't relax, you know and I…" He sighs and Logan squeezes his shoulder.

"We'll talk about this later." He tells his tall friend, who nods with his head held down as he walks out of the bathroom. Katie and Mrs. Knight let them walk aside.

"Uh, guys?" Kendall suddenly squeaks. They look up and try not to laugh as they see Carlos still latched onto him. "Carlos? It's okay.. James is gone now. Carlos?"

It's not that he wants Carlos to let go, he's happy that his friend seems to trust him suddenly. But he can't move right now and his friend is pulling on his shirt so hard, that he is starting to choke him.

The others look on with affection as Carlos slowly lifts his head with scared eyes. He suddenly seems to realize what he's doing and he quickly lets go of Kendall as he if he was burned.

Kendall smiles down at him. "It's okay, buddy. That uh, that was a great thing you did for James there." Carlos starts to breathe faster suddenly and they look on with smiles fading as he seems to panic again. "No, Carlos. It's okay.." Kendall starts in a calm voice. He sends Carlos a reassuring smile.

Carlos seems hesitant, but then his breathing calms down and he remains standing behind Kendall. The moment Kendall tries to hold a hand, he flinches, so Kendall pulls it back again.

"Come on, lets go to your room. James put a plate of food in there for you. You must be hungry." Carlos doesn't respond to him. Kendall starts to walk forward, giving Carlos another smile and a nod. "It's okay." Carlos looks hesitant, but suddenly starts to walk after him. The others look on in amazement.

The two walk out into the hallway and James feels pain take over when Carlos quickly adverts his eyes when he looks at him.

Kendall walks into Carlos' room and Carlos hesitantly follows him inside. He stands in the middle of the room as Kendall picks up the plate of food.

"Uh, okay, this is cold now. I can go heat it up." He moves to walk out and yawns suddenly. He goes to apologize, suddenly stopping when Carlos yawns as well. He tries hard not to burst out laughing when he witnesses that. Carlos himself looks a bit shocked. "On second thought, maybe we should all go to bed." He says with a smile.

The others chuckle slightly when Katie yawns as well. "You know what, you're right. I'm pretty beat myself. It has been a long day today." Mrs. Knight announces as she hugs her daughter slightly.

"yeah, it has been." Kendall replies with a smile as he still keeps his eye on Carlos.

"Oh, we almost forgot, guys." Logan suddenly announces. They all look at him. "Carlos, we haven't given you your welcome back present yet."

The others smile when they too remember this. "I'll go get it." He rushes away, while the others watch Carlos. He still stands in the middle of the room, looking very uncertain.

Kendall walks over to the bed and sits down. He pats a spot next to him. "Come on, sit down." Carlos first slowly moves towards him, but then frowns a little. Kendall watches him curiously and his smile goes away when Carlos' seems to get lost in a trance for a moment. "Carlos?"

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Knight asks in concern.

"I don't know. He seems really far away all of a sudden." Kendall tells her as he gets up and walks towards his friend. "Carlos, come on. Why don't you sit down for a moment?"

Carlos blinks and suddenly returns to them fast. Kendall has put his hand on his back ever so slightly to guide him towards the bed. But Carlos seems to panic and steps backwards. He doesn't even seem to care that he is leaning into Kendall as he tries to scramble away.

"Hey, hey, it's okay…" Kendall tells him as he lightly holds on to his shoulders. Carlos seems so preoccupied in getting away, that he doesn't even fight him.

"Here it is…" Logan's cheerful voice trails off when he sees Carlos' panicked frame leaning against Kendall and still moving backwards. "What's going on? What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I just tried to get him to sit down on the bed and he started to freak out." Kendall explains. Logan looks thoughtful for a moment and looks into Carlos' eyes, before following his gaze.

"I.. I think it's the bed." Logan softly says.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Knight asks.

"His eyes are looking at the bed. If he started to react like this after Kendall tried to guide him towards it, then that must be it. Something about the bed is scaring him." Logan explains.

"Oh my god, guys…" James then mentions. The others look at him and his eyes are filled with pain as he looks back at them. "The bed… He's remembering what happened to him.. what they did to him…" He softly says in a pained voice.

"What are you… oh god…" Logan suddenly realizes what James is getting at. "We should have known that. The bed is triggering memories for him, they must have… done that on a bed…" He hesitantly adds.

The others close their eyes for a moment. "How did we not think of that?" Kendall asks.

"Hey, it's a bed, how could we have taken that into account? I mean, he needs to sleep somewhere." James tells his friends.

"So, now what do we do? We can't just drag the bed out right now." Kendall asks and the others exchange a look.

"Carlos, do you want to sit down?" Kendall softly asks his friend, who has stopped moving backwards and now is trying hard to avoid his gaze away from the bed. "Come on, why don't you sit down?" Kendall tries to push him a little and Carlos suddenly notices Kendall's hands on him.

He quickly moves out of the way, looking at all of them with panicked eyes. They watch with pain in their eyes as he rushes into a corner and sits on the floor. He draws his knees up, trying to make himself disappear.

"I uh… Here's your welcome back present, Carlos." Logan says with a half smile, which is gone right after. "We got you a new one, because we couldn't find the old one. We did make sure it looks the same. I'll uh, I'll just put it down here. So you can take it if you want to." He walks forward a bit and puts a black hockey helmet on the floor in front of his friend. Carlos doesn't respond and just rocks himself back and forth, pretending they're not there.

Mrs. Knight sighs deeply. "Come on, boys. Let's leave him alone. He's had a long day today, we all have." She motions for them to come out of the room. The boys just stare at their friend with heavy hearts.

"But we can't just leave him there…" Kendall mentions.

"Come on, Kendall. He'll be okay. He did take a big step today. Just give him time." Logan tells him and he grabs hold of his friend's arm, slowly leading him outside.

They all look over their shoulder one more time, before quietly going into their separate rooms. But they don't stay in separate rooms for long. Katie eventually ends up in her mother's bed, while the three boys lay wide awake in their beds, before all get up in the middle of the night.

James heads for the bathroom, but doesn't stay in long. Absentmindedly all three of them end up walking towards Carlos' room. They smile slightly as they notice each other. Weird how they still think alike after all this time.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Kendall asks and the other two shake their heads. They all carefully step a bit closer into Carlos' doorway to get a better look. They try hard not to gasp at the sight before them.

Carlos is still curled up in the corner of the room. But there are a few differences that stand out. Completely unexpected the boy is fast asleep. But the biggest difference is the black hockey helmet, which he now holds securely in his arms.

"Oh my god…" James whispers as he sees it.

"Well, it's not on his head yet, but it's a start." Logan says with a smile.

Kendall just shakes his head in disbelief and he walks into the room.

"kendall, what are you doing?" Logan whispers from behind him.

"Shh, I'm just going to give him a blanket." He whispers back.

"You'll wake him up." James whispers.

"I'll be really careful, now shh!" Kendall whispers again. He carefully tugs on the blankets on Carlos' bed. They make a sliding noise and he stops dead in his tracks, glancing at Carlos. But Carlos is still fast asleep and he sighs in relief.

He starts to pull on the blanket again and gathers it up in his arms. He carefully tiptoes over to Carlos and gently places the blanket over his small form. He smiles slightly as his friend looks even more like a child now as he is completely lost in the oversized blanket.

His eyes widen for a moment as the boy shifts slightly. He thinks he woke him for just a moment, but then Carlos just moves his had the other way and one hand pulls the blanket closer to him.

Kendall smiles brighter and gets up before tiptoeing back to his friends. He shakes his head at their faces full disbelief. "Guys, this may be a slow process. But after today, I really think our Carlos is still in there. He's still in there, he's just waiting for us to come and save him." He whispers to the others.

"Kendall, you heard the doctor. He might never be himself again." Logan reminds him.

"Yeah, but you saw him today. He has already done so many things I never thought he would do again. I mean, the way he threw out James' pills. Which we still need to talk about, by the way." He says, directing his gaze towards James now.

"yeah, yeah." James waves him off. "Let's just go back to our rooms before we wake him up." The others nod and they all head back down the hall.

Just as they are about to enter their rooms, they all stop and turn around. They all open their mouths to say something and then have to keep from laughing when they realize the others do the same.

"My room?" Kendall asks and the other two nod. He chuckles and they quickly follow him inside, closing the door behind them. Silent laughter and scolding can be heard as the three boys spend another night in one room.

A/N I have so many ideas for this story, I just have to restrain myself from putting them all in one chapter :P

Hope you liked the chapter again, still very grateful for all the reviews, so thank you so much

I might write another chapter tonight, so look out for that tomorrow probably. Right now, I only have ideas for this moment, so the entire process of Carlos going through this is being made up on the spot.

Therefore, if there are moments you would like to see here, whether it's bromance or angst or anything, let me know For now I only mean moments where he doesn't speak, because he might never will.

I can't tell you if he will, because I don't want to spoil the rest of the story ;)

One thing; if this story seems to be going fast, it might only seem like that. In fiction, time can go a lot faster than it looks. Day may have passed in between. So when Carlos seems to be recovering faster than is realistic, just remember that this is all spread out over more days than written.

Anyway, thanks again and until next time!

Love, Baxxie