Chapter 24 Still the same
It's been about an hour since Carlos locked himself inside his room.
Logan and Katie have both tried to get him to come out, but there is no response from the other side of the door. James went into his own room, and slammed the door behind him. From down the hall, Logan and Katie wince at the stuff being strewn about the room, but keep their attention on getting to Carlos.
Downstairs, Kendall is sitting on the couch in silence with the TV on. He's not watching it though. His facial expression is hard and it is clear he has something on his mind. Mrs. Knight scolded him for what happened in disbelief right after Carlos ran up the stairs. She was in shock at what he managed to do after everything that happened. When she asked him to explain himself, he didn't answer.
Now Mrs. Knight stands in the kitchen, quietly cleaning up, ignoring her son sitting on the couch.
Kendall realizes how mad they all must be and after hearing his friend use his voice to get them to stop, it has slowly begun to sink in what he did. He never meant to loose his temper like that, even if it is part of his nature. He just couldn't handle all the frustration anymore and in the heat of the moment, he took it all out on Carlos and James. He was only doing what he thought was best, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he went too far. He just wanted Carlos to talk again so badly, he lost control over his actions and made things much worse. It breaks his heart to know he's the reason Carlos has barricaded himself in his room.
Meanwhile upstairs, Katie tries desperately to get Carlos to open the door, while Logan watches her sadly.
"Come on, Carlos, please don't do this... You've made so much progress already, don't shut us out again..." She pleads near tears. Logan sighs.
"I don't think he's going to respond tonight, Katie. Let's just go downstairs and give him some time." He tells her, sounding defeated.
"But he can't give up now..." She says, her voice breaking. Logan takes her in his arms.
"I know, but he doesn't want to see anyone right now. I'm sure he'll be fine." He tries to assure her and leads her towards the stairs. He throws one more longing gaze at his door before heading down.
As they come down, Mrs. Knight looks at them expectantly. Logan just shakes his head. Her face falls, while Katie rushes forward and into her arms. Her mother tries to console her, while Logan sighs again and slowly walks towards the couch. He freezes for a moment when he sees Kendall there. But after hesitating a little, he moves to sit on the couch anyway. He shoots a small glance at the blond, but doesn't know what to say. Kendall still seems lost in thought.
After a while of sitting in silence, Kendall looks up.
"I know you're all mad at me right now, Logan. Hell, I'd be mad too." He says with a sad chuckle. Logan doesn't respond. "I just thought it would help, you know? You said yourself that he does want to talk, but he can't." Kendall argues and then lets out a long sigh. "I guess I just lost my patience... I wanted him to talk so badly, just hear his voice again..." He starts to explain, his voice slowly starting to crack. "It's so quiet in here without him and he made so much progress so fast, I just wanted to keep it going. And then it wasn't working and I got so frustrated..." He says, tears now starting to spill slowly as he closes his eyes for a moment to compose himself.
"I just... I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry..." He says in a small voice. "Logan? Logan, please say something... I can't handle even more silence..." He pleads softly, as he starts to sob.
Logan looks down and then turns his head to his friend. Without saying a word, he opens his arms and pulls the blond to his chest. Kendall sobs into his body and grips his shirt tightly. Logan puts his head on top of his. And everything had just been going so well...
Back upstairs, Carlos quietly sits in the corner of his room, hugging his knees to his chest as he listens to the crashing sounds coming from down the hall. He stares at the door, tears no longer falling and the apologies having ceased.
Suddenly the crashing stops and everything is silent. Carlos listens closely, but can't hear anything. He frowns and bites his lip. Somewhere in his gut, he can feel something is wrong. He doesn't know what it is, but it's there. This nagging feeling that something is about to happen. He waits for a moment, but then slowly gets to his feet. He moves towards the door and pushes the dresser out of the way. He carefully opens the door and pokes his head into the hall to see if anyone is there. When he sees it's empty, he cautiously walks down the hall.
He hear some strange sounds coming from downstairs and carefully looks over the banister. His eyes grow wide and concerned when he sees strong and fearless Kendall quietly sobbing in Logan's arms. He hesitates and walks towards the stairs. But then, he can feel his gut instinct telling him even stronger that something is wrong. But the crying Kendall can't be it. Logan seems to be fine and while Katie is crying in Mrs. Knight's arms, that's not it either. He turns around and frowns at the only closed door in the hall.
He turns his head towards his friends one more time and then cautiously approaches the door. He puts his ear on the door and listens for any sound. But it's dead silent. His heart starts to beat faster. What should he do? Maybe he should get his friends. But that might take too long and since he didn't see James down the stairs...
He holds a shaking hands out to the door handle and pushes it down. He's relieved it's not locked and opens the door slowly. He shuffles forward, his heart thumping in his chest. The room is dark, but he trudges forth cautiously. He looks around and worry fills his whole body when he sees all of James' things carelessly thrown through the room, some things already broken. A picture frame lies shattered on the floor, a picture of the four boys smiling still visible. Carlos moves on, searching for a sign of his friend. The bed is turned over, but when he walks closer, he can make out a pale hand lying next to it.
His heart pounds as he gets closer. His eyes shoot wide open at the sight of his friend lying on the floor, eyes closed and deathly pale, with some white pills surrounding his hand. He gasps and feels tears coming on. Then, he panics and swiftly turns around. He hurries for the stairs and runs down the steps.
He looks around the room, completely panicking. No one has noticed him yet, but he needs help. James needs help. He bounces on his feet and then rushes towards Logan. He'll know what to do. He starts to poke his shoulder, until Logan turns around, sounding annoyed. His face turns to shock when he sees who was poking him.
"Carlos, you're out of your room.." he says, a smile appearing. The others look up in surprise.
"Carlos?" Kendall asks in disbelief, sniffling a little still. "Carlos, I'm so sorry for what happened... I..." Logan holds up a hand to stop him and frowns.
Carlos impatiently bounces on his feet and seems frantic. Logan slowly gets up, starting to feel worried now as well.
"Carlos, what's wrong?" He asks in concern.
"Logan, what's happening?" Katie asks as she comes to stand with them. Carlos frantically looks between them and the stairs. Logan follows his gaze.
"I don't know... What's wrong, buddy? Did something happen?" He asks, as his heart beats faster. "Did something happen upstairs?"
Carlos bites his lip in frustration, this is taking too long. He looks back at the stairs again and suddenly grabs Logan's shirt and starts to pull him along.
"Woah, slow down, 'Litos..." He mentions as he tries to stop him. Carlos whimpers slightly in frustration and closes his eyes. It's for James...
He turns around, where everyone looks at him expectantly. He takes a deep breath.
"J..." he starts, before chickening out again. The other's eyes widen. Logan walks closer.
"What, what were you going to say?" he asks calmly, trying to hide his excitement."Carlos almost starts to cry with frustration, but looks up again.
"J-James..." He then spills out. Logan looks a little confused and tries to hide a smile.
"What about James, buddy?" He asks in slight awe of hearing his friend's voice.
"Pills..." He squeaks and Logan's face turns to horror. He snaps out of his excited daze and rushes up the stairs as fast as he can, taking two steps at once.
"Call 911!" he calls over his shoulder and Mrs. Knight jumps into action.
Katie and Carlos quickly head upstairs as well.
In James' room, Logan is already trying to slap his friend's face to wake him up.
"James, buddy, can you hear me? James?" He tries. "He's not responding." He tells Kendall, who fights the urge to roll his eyes in a 'duh' manner. He quickly puts his head to the brunette's chest. "He's still breathing." He grabs James' armpits. "Help me take him to the bathroom."
Kendall quickly grabs his legs and together they rush for the bathroom. Logan motions for the shower. "Just put him in the stall." He tells the blond and together they put him in an upright position in the shower. Logan stands next to him and turns on the water, making sure to use only the cold setting.
"Damn it, James..." Logan mutters under his breath as they pour the cold water on their friend. Katie anxiously stands by Kendall.
"Is he going to be okay?" Katie asks timidly. Kendall pulls her close to him.
"I don't know..." He tells her in honesty.
Carlos stands in the doorway, looking very worried as he watches James for a sign of life. Kendall looks over and finally notices him there, looking a little alone.
"Come here, buddy." He offers and holds out an arm. But Carlos just shakes his head and turns his attention to James again.
"Come on, James. Wake up..." Logan mutters as he keeps the cold stream going, not caring that his own clothes are starting to get wet.
Then, slowly, the pretty brunette starts to move. The others watch in silence, their hope going up. They sigh in relief when the brunette starts to cough and blinks heavily as he tries to get the cold water to stop crashing on his face. He limply holds up a hand to try and stop the water, but drops his hand again. When Logan notices, he turns the water off and slaps James in the face again.
"James, come on, wake up, buddy." He shouts in his face. James mumbles something and slowly opens his eyes.
"Logan..." He whispers and the once future doctor looks at him.
"Welcome back, bud." Logan tells him softly. When Logan turns around, he comes face to face with Carlos, who looks a bit unsure. His eyes motion towards James and Logan nods, stepping out of the way.
James' eyes open a little wider as Carlos walks towards him.
"You should thank him, James. If Carlos hadn't found you in time, you might have not woken up again." Logan announces, sounding disappointed in him.
Carlos slowly steps forward and then suddenly, James finds himself engulfed in a tight hug.
"Hi Jamie..." A voice whispers in his ear and his eyes widen in disbelief. Tears well up right away as Carlos lets go.
He is completely in shock as he watches his friend shyly walk away. Just then, Mrs. Knight steps into the doorway and leads in some paramedics. Carlos jumps and flees the room. Katie wants to follow him, but Logan shakes his head. She watches and sees he is still standing by the doorway, sneaking in a glance to see how James is doing.
James hardly even notices what they're doing as they check his vitals and help him onto a stretcher. In his mind the moment of a few seconds ago keeps replaying. Carlos talked to him. He actually talked to him.
When the paramedics guide him over the banister, he sees Carlos looking at him with worried eyes. Mrs. Knight agrees to go with James into the awaiting ambulance. Kendall and Katie watch him go from the front door, while Logan and Carlos stay upstairs. Logan stays in the bathroom for another moment, just staring at the place James was just in.
Carlos hesitatingly pokes his head inside and bites his lip as he looks at Logan. He shuffles forward, making Logan look up. He smiles when he sees who it is.
"That was a good thing you did, buddy. James is going to be fine, thanks to you." he quietly says. "I'm glad you used your voice. Are you going to talk again now?" He slowly asks, looking at Carlos with hope.
The Latino opens his mouth, but then closes it and looks down in guilt.
"It's okay, 'Litos. Just one step at a time, remember?" Logan assures him with a smile. He sighs and closes his eyes while he rests his head against the cold tiles of the bathroom. Suddenly, he feels someone cautiously shaking him. He opens his eyes and smiles at Carlos, who holds a towel out to him.
He looks down and sees that his clothes are wet. He chuckles and carefully takes the towel from his friend's hands.
"You really haven't changed, have you? You're still the lovable teddy bear you always were, caring so much about everyone around you." Logan tells him, a little sadly. Carlos frowns. "I'm okay, Carlos. I just... I don't get why James would do this. I mean, I know he was upset about what happened, but this..." He says, closing his eyes as he feels some anger coming up. "He is so selfish... How did he even get those pills? I didn't know he had trouble sleeping and now he goes and pulls something like this. It's just so frustrating!" He yells out as he fully stands and closes his eyes again, his hands holding a vice grip on the towel.
He nearly jumps when he feels a hand gently being put on his. He glances up and sees Carlos watching him with worry and a small smile. He sighs.
"It's just been a really long day..." Logan says, his bottom lip starting to quiver as he tries to hold it in. Carlos doesn't hesitate and pulls him into a hug. Logan slides to the floor as he breaks down, Carlos sliding right down with him. Logan sobs as he hears a soft tune being hummed in his ear, slowly calming down.
"Uh, Logan?" Katie's voice hesitatingly calls out. Carlos stops humming and Logan looks up. he sees Katie and Kendall both watching, looking a little guilty that they had to break up the moment. "We should go to the hospital too." She offers. Logan wipes his eyes and sniffles loudly.
"Yeah, of course." He says as he clears his throat and slowly gets up. He offers Carlos a hand and helps him up from the floor as well. "I uh, I better change first." He says, before heading out and towards his bedroom.
Carlos remains in the bathroom, an awkward silence falling over him and the Knight siblings.
"Carlos?" Katie quietly calls out. "I'm glad you talked today... It's good to hear your voice again." She tells him with a small smile. Carlos doesn't respond. He glances at Kendall, who seems lost in thought.
The Hispanic boy notices the guilt on his friend's face, but somehow can't manage to comfort him. He feels awkward around Kendall at the moment. He knows it wasn't his fault and hates that he is probably blaming himself. But like Logan said, it has been a long day and right now he doesn't know how to approach the blond.
When Logan is done, he walks back to the bathroom and they head downstairs. Even Carlos quietly shuffles after them.
"Okay, let's go." Logan says as they head for the door. Carlos stands back a little, watching as they open the door.
"Aren't you coming, Carlos?" Katie asks him. "It's okay. We're just going to visit James in the hospital." Carlos' eyes widen at that and he walks backwards. Katie holds out her hand, but he shakes his head furiously and keeps walking backwards with fear in his eyes.
"He's probably still weary of the hospital since what happened when he was there." Logan explains.
"So now what?" Katie asks. "We can't just leave him here by himself."
"I'll stay." Kendall suddenly mentions. Logan looks up in surprise. "He probably doesn't want to see me anyway." He adds quietly.
"Uh, okay. Well, uh, we'll make sure not to stay too long. We'll call you, let you know how he's doing." Logan tells him. Kendall nods and looks down.
"L-Logie?" Logan suddenly hears from behind him. He looks at Carlos in surprise and watches as the boy fiddles with his helmet straps, looking a bit unsure.
It takes a moment for him to find his voice, since he is amazed and so proud that Carlos is suddenly talking to them again.
"Uh, it's okay, Carlos. Katie and I are going to see James, but we'll be right back, okay? Kendall will stay with you, so don't worry." He says with a shaking voice and a smile.
Carlos still looks a bit unsure as he glances at Kendall and then nods slowly.
The minute they close the door, Katie and Logan both let out a deep breath and then smile, before heading towards the car.
In the meantime, it is silent inside the house again. Kendall doesn't know what to say, while Carlos looks at his shoes.
"Uh, you uh..." Kendall starts, making Carlos glance up. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Are you hungry? I-I could make you something if y-you want..." He offers. Carlos looks at him in surprise and then slowly nods. Kendall gives a small smile and heads for the kitchen.
"Sit down, I'll see what we have." Carlos slowly sits down and watches as Kendall rummages through the fridge. "Oh, uh, we still have some dinosaur chicken left?" He offers. Carlos' eyes light up and he nods. "Ok, chicken dinosaur it is." Kendall tells him and grabs the bowl and pours it on a plate to put in the oven.
He turns around and the awkward silence is back. Only the sound of the oven is heard.
"It'll take a few minutes." Kendall tells him. He stands in the kitchen, unsure of what to say. He sighs. "I'm sorry for what happened today, Carlos." He quietly says, looking down at his feet. "I'm not sure what came over me. I just wanted to help you and really thought I was doing the right thing. But I got frustrated when it wasn't working and I just... I'm really sorry for yelling and for trying to force you to talk. I shouldn't have done that and I shouldn't have said that you were stubborn. I know you're trying really hard. James was right all along. It was a stupid idea to begin with and I shouldn't have let it go that far..." He admits.
"It's okay..." A timid voice tells him. He slowly looks up at Carlos. He gulps.
"So you're really ready to talk now, huh?" He asks and smiles at Carlos, who shyly looks away. "I'm so happy to hear your voice again... It's not as loud as I'm used to, but I'm sure that will come in time." He says happily.
When the dinosaur chicken pieces are done, Kendall and Carlos eat them in silence together. But it's no longer awkward. Kendall is happy that his friend is slowly coming back to them and hearing him finally start to talk is unbelievable, but amazing.
Carlos is glad he made his friends happy. He longs to use his voice to tell them what he is thinking and what he went through. But he just can't. Everytime he tries to, he has flashbacks of wht happened to him. Plus, somewhere deep down, that nagging feeling he had right before he found James, is still lingering. He doesn't know what it is, but something is going to happen. Something bad...
A/N Yay, he finally talked I hope I made some people happy about that
I love writing this story so much, with all the drama and slow progress Carlos is making. I am going to add some more angst in the next few chapters though and check in with Lucy Parker. But let me know what you think so far and if you have requests for this story, just let me know
You guys inspire me to write more and I am grateful to each and every one of you, I hope you know that!
Love, Baxxie