A/N: Oh look, what's that? It's the plot line swirling down the toilet! Haha no, but really, this chapter dissatisfies me. However, it has laid out the foundation for the rest of the story. I might include some smut later, if that's alright with you guys. And the reason I have the exponents wrote out in words is because I can't write exponents as exponents with this site. :( Anyways, happy reading! (and please don't leave yet, I promise I'll work harder to make it better D: )

Chapter 12

"Oh God!" Kurt screeched out, jumping for Sebastian, trying to cover the wound with his hands and apply pressure to the slash on Sebastian's neck. Kurt could have sworn the other boy was smiling as he did this. It was impossible to hold the tears in; Sebastian very well might only have two or three minutes left to live. As Kurt tried to hold Sebastian's neck closed, he reached out for his phone and dialed 911.

"Hello, 911, what's your emergency?"

"Help! I need an ambulance, he- he slashed his throat open-" Kurt said hysterically, unable to process anything going on.

"Where are you?" The female operator's voice cooed.

"0678 West Windsor Street, I think, the doors locked, oh God he's bleeding everywhere-"

"Ma'am, please relax, an ambulance has been dispatched. Where was he cut?" Kurt ignored the ma'am comment from the operator in his hysteria.

"His throat, he cut himself-"

"Is he conscious?"

"Hold on-" Kurt said, dropping his phone on accident, Kurt put his hand to Sebastian's quickly paling face "Sebastian? Sebastian?"

"Let... Let go..." He mumbled. Sebastian looked almost pleading when he said it, probably because he was in pain, and wanted it to be over…

"Never… You've got to stay with me, Sebastian, please…" Kurt said, grabbing his phone and managing to hit the speakerphone button. He desperately tried to apply more pressure as blood soaked through his hands.

"How much blood has he lost?" The operator asked.

"I don't know, a lot!" Kurt shouted, tears spilling from his own eyes. "How much longer?"

"Not too long now, keep him conscious. As long as he's conscious we know he still has time."

"I can see… See it…" Sebastian mumbled, looking off in the distance.

"Sebastian, don't, please-"

"He wants me to come home, Kurt…."

"Stop speaking nonsense!" Kurt shouted, sobbing harder than ever. He heard the faint noise of an ambulance siren in the distance.

"Let go…" Sebastian mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut.

"Stay awake! Stay awake!" Kurt shouted. The operator remained silent as the sirens grew louder. Kurt shook Sebastian gently by his neck, but he didn't respond. His face was pastel white in the dim, low lighting. The operator took this chance to start asking questions.

"What is your name?"

"Kurt… Kurt Hummel, and this is Sebastian Smythe…" Kurt said between sobs, still trying to rock Sebastian awake. Finally Kurt heard the ambulance stopping outside the door, and eventually people breaking the lock on the front door. Kurt screamed at the top of his lungs, the high-pitch shrill noise enough to lure them all to the room, and even to shake Sebastian awake long enough for him to look around in terror, then pass out again. The police kicked open the door to Sebastian's room, and quickly followed by them were the medics, taking Sebastian out of Kurt's arms and placing him on a stretcher, quickly rushing him back out of the house. Meanwhile, the police picked up Kurt, and dragged him out of the house as well. They were both piled into the ambulance, Sebastian on a gurney and Kurt off to the side, watching as the medics went to work resealing Sebastian's throat as the ambulance took off to the hospital.

Blaine pulled up to the driveway of the Smythe household, not sure what to expect, but hoping that Sebastian was at least alive. What he was greeted by worried him.

He parked out in the street and quickly ran up to the flashing lights from the police cars, only to be confronted by a policeman holding a gun to Blaine's face. Blaine put his hands up and backed away.

"State your name and age!" He heard the police bellow, and Blaine jumped.

"Blaine Anderson, 17! Where's Sebastian?" Blaine asked immediately. The police looked confused as he brought down his gun.

"You know the people who were involved here?"

"Both of them are close friends, now where are they?" Blaine asked surreptitiously.

"They're both at the hospital, I'm not allowed to say anything more." Now that Blaine was out of the shock of having a gun pointed his face, he could see a young, and probably new to the job, policeman, with indefinite green eyes and hair like sand at a beach.

"They're both alive?" Blaine asked, now frowning in question.

"One of them we know for sure, the other we aren't. We are going to need to talk to you-" But before the man could finish, Blaine bolted back to his car and shoved the keys roughly into the ignition. Off to the hospital he went.

The drive was short, for thankfully the Smythe house wasn't too far away from the hospital. Blaine felt like a madman as he rushed into the hospital, hitting the front desk hard on accident for inability to slow down, and quickly asked for Sebastian Smythe.

"I'm sorry, we don't have a Sebastian Smythe here." The woman answered politely.

"No, he just came in from an ambulance, I need to know if he's okay-"

"Oh, him, I'm afraid he's in critical condition, you can't see him right now-"

"Blaine!" Blaine heard Kurt's unmistakable high pitched voice calling him from across the empty lobby. Blaine was horrified when he saw him; his hands were drenched in dark blood, his outfit forever ruined by the ruby stain. Blaine wasn't sure how Kurt knew he was down here, but Blaine quickly ran over to him anyway.

"Where…?" Blaine asked unable to finish the question. Kurt signaled for him to follow and the boys began running down the stark white hallways, Kurt in the lead and Blaine following close behind. Kurt made abrupt turns until they finally ended up in the Emergency Room, Kurt quickly weaving through the hallways yet again like a graceful gazelle. Finally they stopped in front of a door, and Kurt stopped Blaine from opening it.

"First of all, Blaine, I want you to know I am going to hate you forever for this. Secondly, I do believe if Sebastian dies here I'm going to have to move out of Lima forever, and you, my friend, are royally fucked. So you better pray that that boy lives." Kurt muttered, out of breath. Blaine knew Kurt meant what he said.

"What happened?" Blaine asked, not daring enter the room.

"He… He slit his own throat." Kurt said simply, turning his head away.

"No shit, what else happened?" Blaine inquired, rushing. He didn't want to sound mean, but he needed to know.

"He… We talked for awhile, then when he was about to hand me his knife, he just… He turned it around and stabbed himself…" Kurt said.

"Did you get into his bedroom?"

"Yes, I did. The doctor in the ambulance said if I hadn't been in there to stop the blood he probably would have died before they got there…"

"So… Well, what about you, are you alright?" Blaine fumbled, meeting Kurt's oceanic gaze.

"Yeah… A bit shocked, but other than that… Yeah… Carol and Burt are going to be here soon to pick me up. I get to go home tonight and then the police want to question me… They probably want you, too…"

"I'll work that out later." Blaine answered, nodding.

"… Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"… Sebastian… Was he acting weird at all before… Before this?" Kurt asked. Blaine felt like a cinder block had dropped on his heart. Sebastian had been acting over-aggressive lately.

"He was… A lot meaner. But I don't know why. I think it might have something to do with the Warblers…" Blaine said, shaking his head.

"You should talk to him. It seems like you're the only one who can get through to him anymore… Good luck, Blaine." Kurt said, and made to turn away and go back to the lobby.

"Kurt, wait…" Blaine said, stopping Kurt in his tracks, causing him to turn around. "I… I made a mistake. I made a huge, huge mistake, Kurt… If it weren't for me, Sebastian wouldn't be here, neither would you. I just wanted to say I'm so, so sorry, Kurt, and… I don't blame you if you hate me."

"Yeah." Kurt replied simply, then continued out. Blaine slumped against the wall, then slid down until he was sitting. For some odd unexplainable reason, his heart felt horribly heavy at Kurt's almost contemptuous reply. Anyhow, he would still wait until Sebastian awoke, no matter what. But it was nearly two in the morning, and as uncomfortable as he was, Blaine's eyelids drooped drearily as his breathing heaved slower and slower, until he was no longer conscious.

It was horrifying, absolutely horrifying waking up under the bleached white walls, the stench of antiseptic filling his nostrils. Sebastian felt unaware of where he was, as if all of it was just an elaborate dream. What had happened? Sebastian wiggled his fingers and looked around. He remembered absolutely nothing at all right now. Who was he? Why was he here? Better yet, where was here? He tried to move his neck to look around, but an excruciating pain shot through him when he did. Oh. He was in a hospital. And he must be hurt. But why? All of a sudden a man in a white lab coat with silver-blonde hair walked in the room, smiling at him.

"He's conscious again. Did you want to try to speak to him this time?" The strange man called out of the room. One of the most handsome men he had ever seen appeared in the doorway. He was buff, but looked elegant as he trotted almost with trepidation into the room, curly raven-colored hair slightly messy and eyes dark with lack of sleep.

"Sebastian?" He said, smiling at him. He moved over and sat down next to him, picking up his hand on the bed. It felt nice.

"Who are you?" He felt himself whisper hoarsely, and it hurt when he did. The other man frowned and turned to the man that Sebastian assumed was a doctor.

"Why doesn't he remember me?" The black-haired boy asked, perplexed.

"He… He has a bit of a severe case of amnesia. It's not from loss of blood; he would be in critical condition even if he hadn't partially slit his throat. It's a miracle he's alive with as much drugs as he had in his system. I'm surprised he even remembers how to talk." The doctor said, frowning. "He probably won't remember anything for awhile, but it doesn't look like its permanent."

"What happened?" Sebastian whispered even hoarser. Apparently he had slit his own throat…? Why would he do that?

"Sebastian…" The dark haired man turned to him, looking sympathetic. "What do you remember?"

"I… Nothing." Sebastian answered honestly, frowning even deeper.

"Does the name Blaine Anderson ring a bell?" The dark-haired boy asked. Sebastian closed his eyes as if contemplating the question.

"That's you." He answered glancing over at Blaine. He felt his cheeks flush from earlier thoughts.

"Yup." Blaine answered, smiling warmly and squeezing Sebastian's hand. The doctor nodded perceptively and walked out of the room.

"… I'm sorry." Sebastian answered once the other man had left.

"For what?" Blaine asked, eyes filled with hope.

"I… I do sort of remember now, I was trying to kill myself… But that's all I remember." Sebastian answered solemnly, glancing away with his eyes, for he could not move his neck. Blaine squeezed his hand even tighter. "I… I don't know why I would do that…"

"You're loved. Just remember that, Sebastian. I hope you get better… But you should rest." Blaine replied, nodding.

"Wait- Blaine, I-"

"Goodnight, Sebastian." And with that, the black-haired boy stood and exited the room. Sebastian's hand felt cold again.

Neurotic faces flooded the scene, blurring together in the middle of nothingness, as smiles and angered shouts came from disembodied heads. There were shocking flashes of green and blue, blurred together with a black center; the smiling face, laughter arising, a bittersweet memory Sebastian had long forgotten. The sun shone down, it was a hot June afternoon, and the sprinkler system was running and he was running back and forth, letting the icy-blue water touch him all over his body. The cold, sheer liquid turned into a warm embrace as he ran into his mother's arms. Was that his mother? Did he have a mother? He couldn't remember, but the memory felt so real that it couldn't have been false. He felt the soft, blue-green eyes stare into his own, and the warmth they emitted was so comforting and welcoming he couldn't help but let the warmth in. At once the welcoming sense faded, and the loving gaze was replaced by a fiery green that Sebastian knew was all too familiar. He couldn't place it, even with the flowing blonde hair coifed neatly like a business man's, but he knew the gaze meant danger. Hate. It spoke hate. He felt sudden pain as blood splattered to the white ceramic tiles of the kitchen, the ruby color standing out like rose petals on snow. Sebastian had to do all he could to not cry as he realized that green-eyed man had cut him across the chest. He watched as blood was soaked up through the shirt.

"Faggot!"

And the scene changed again. This time, a hand reached out for him from a face of dark curls and hazel-green eyes. It was a light in the dark, a warmth in the cold-

"Sebastian…" The voice cooed at him. And the scene changed again, to the future now. He was old, and he was alone. He was dying, he could feel it, feel the soul being ripped from his body, only to be carried away by the wind; and then he remembered the dark curls again, Blaine. And the warmth. And he knew, even on his death bed, if he was there, he was safe.

E

"So when is he coming back again?" Trent asked for the third time that day. Blaine simply sighed at him.

"The doctors have determined he's fit to come back right now, but they're running some tests to try and get his memory back. Which of course, the only reason his dad is paying for it is because all Sebastian remembers is his mother, and he doesn't like that." Blaine answered again for the third time. All the Warblers had asked him as if they were concerned whether he was ever coming back. It irked Blaine that all of a sudden, because of his attempt at suicide, everyone suddenly cared where before it was just him.

"Oh, so he'll be back soon?" Jeff asked, running up beside the other two. Blaine nodded. "How has he been doing, by the way?"

"His memory hasn't gotten any better. He remembers me, I'm not sure if he remembers any of you, though." Blaine answered, trying to pick up his pace so he wasn't late for next hour.

"Well maybe that's a good thing. Fresh start, y'know?" Jeff started before they came to a fork in the hall. Blaine, tackling the advanced classes, had to go left, so he smiled at the other boys.

"I've got to go, see you at practice, okay?" Blaine waved goodbye, and started off on his own way. That begged the question, if Sebastian didn't remember any of his childhood memories, would they all finally get to see the real Sebastian behind the mask?

Back to school…

Sebastian was so confused. The twisting hallways, the dormitories, and the hallways- Oh, he already thought about the hallways. Why didn't he remember where to go? He barely remembered how to tie his own tie this morning, or put on his blazer, and the man that lived with him refused to offer him assistance. Why was he treated like that? Did he do something wrong? Where was the curly-haired man, Blaine? Did he know he was back at Dalton yet? Why had that man been so refusing to drive him to school this morning? Where was he supposed to be going? Where was he?

All he could do was sit. He sat right on the floor of the empty hallway. He didn't know any of these people, and he wasn't sure they knew him, either.

"Mr. Smythe!" He heard the name called, and somehow felt it was directed at him since he was the only person in the hall, but he knew his name wasn't Smythe. It was Sebastian, wasn't it? He knew the teacher was standing beside him, so he looked up innocently at her eyes, which were a sparkling grey, with her brown hair whipped back in a pony tail and glasses sparkling black from the sunlight filtering through the window. "Sebastian, what are you doing?" She asked soothingly, kneeling down onto the ground next to him.

"I don't know where I'm going, so I did what my mom always told me. When you get lost, stay put and wait for someone to find you." He felt intelligent for reciting his mother's words, it meant he remembered something, it meant he had power. But the look she gave him was more perplexed and amused than anything; as if he had just said something childish, and it was almost funny.

"What class do you have next?" She asked, offering an arm to help him up. Being modest, he refused and stood up on his own, then instead helped the teacher up. She seemed almost shocked at the kind gesture, as if she'd never seen him be kind before.

"Do you know where Blaine Anderson is?" He asked as some of the apparently younger students started pouring into the hallways again.

"I believe he's in calculus class right now, why?" She asked quizzically.

"He knows where I need to go, and we share a lot of classes. That's what he told me at the hospital." Sebastian said, nodding. She sighed, and started walking away, motioning for him to follow.

Sebastian walked into the calculus classroom, which was taught by Mr. Mandev, and he stopped teaching his lesson and looked at Sebastian and the other teacher that had brought him.

"You're late, Sebastian." Was the first thing he said, before catching himself and apparently remembering Sebastian's condition. "But never mind that, have a seat over there." The man pointed, and Sebastian sat. He looked around the room as the teacher who brought him left, only to find that there was no Blaine in this classroom. Ah, wait- there he was, over at the end of the row next to him. It was impossible to miss the black curls.

"Can anybody differentiate y=(3x+1) to the second power?" Mr. Mandev asked, surveying the class. Sebastian's hand shot up, and he walked up to the board. He felt eyes burning the back of his head.

"First you have to differentiate the power, and leave the numbers in the paranthasees unchanged. Then you differentiate that," Sebastian commented as he drew out his words on the board, "It would mean the differentiate is 2(3x+1) with exponents 2-1 multiplied by D(3x+1). Simplified, that equals out to 6(3x+1)." Sebastian said, putting down the piece of chalk and walking back to his seat. Sebastian didn't know how he knew how to do the problem, he didn't even remember the definition of differentiates, but somehow he got the right answer, he was sure of it. There were many confused glances around the room.

"That's… That's right, Sebastian. I thought you said you were bad at calculus." Mr. Mandev answered to the shocked looks around the class.

"The answer just sort of came to me." Sebastian answered shruggingly. And class went on as normal.

"Dude, what happened to Sebastian?"

"Do you think he went to a therapist?"

"He's not acting like himself…"

"He's acting nice, I don't get it…"

"I thought he was stupid, who the hell knew he could do calculus! Now I know why he's in the advanced classes!"

Sebastian couldn't help overhearing all these conversations as people stared at him while he walked down the hallway with Blaine. Blaine hadn't said a word to him, and Sebastian knew why; Blaine was afraid for some reason. Sebastian could practically smell the fear.

"Blaine, why so silent?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry, I didn't know you actually… I mean… Look, you know where the Warbler's hall is, don't you?" Blaine finally asked as if it had been bothering him all day.

"Um, yeah. Everyone does. I'm learning fast, Blaine."

"Good. I need you to meet me there after school today, but before Warbler's practice starts. So as soon as school ends, okay?"

"I'll be there."

And then they parted ways again as Sebastian re-memorized his schedule.

Sebastian hadn't thought anything of it until he walked into the Warbler's hall early that evening. It hadn't come to his confused brain that Blaine would want to do anything but talk. And who knew Blaine could play piano? Walking in hearing Blaine playing some random melody that Sebastian vaguely remembered was a bit shocking.

"Glad You Came by The Wanted." Sebastian blurted out, interupting Blaine mid keystroke. He froze, looking up from the keyboard.

"You remember it?" Blaine asked.

"Somewhat."

"Ah… You won the sectionals show choir competition with it awhile back." Blaine said, sighing slightly.

"Wait, me?" Sebastian asked, perplexed. "What about you?"

"I was part of the New Directions, the other show choir. We didn't compete together, so we won too. As for regionals… We don't know."

"I think you'd be the perfect guy to win us regionals." Sebastian commented, smiling warmly at Blaine. It was a new type of look for Sebastian, not one he saw often. Or ever, for that matter. Sebastian's smile faltered for a moment as he hesitantly asked a question. "Blaine, do you… Are you gay?" Sebastian asked nervously, as if he didn't know.

"Yes, and you are too." Blaine answered, almost disappointed Sebastian hadn't remembered that own fact about him.

"Oh." Was all Sebastian could say. He really had lost a lot of memory. There was a moment of silence at the awkward air. Sebastian had a sudden flashback of him and Blaine kissing. Wait, were they dating, or was that Sebastian's own demented imagination?

"Anyways, Sebastian… I wanted to sing something to you a long time ago, something I thought might lift up your spirits, I thought it might make you reevaulate yourself … It might not have much meaning to you now, now that you don't really remember anything, but… I want to sing it to you anyways." Sebastian nodded at this, and smiled again at Blaine, but this time sadly. Sebastian knew that Blaine must have really, really cared about him. Blaine put his hands back on the black and white keys, and taking a big breath, began to sing:

Oh, his eyes, his eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining,
His hair, his hair, falls perfectly without him trying,
He's so beautiful, and I tell him every day,

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment him he won't believe me,
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that he don't see what I see
But every time he asks me "do I look ok", I say,

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change,
'Cause you're amazing, just the way you are,
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while,
'Cause boy you're amazing, just the way you are,

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change,
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same,
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok,
You know I'll say,

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change,
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are,
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares, for a while
'Cause boy you're amazing, just the way you are,
The way you are, the way you are;
Boy you're amazing, just the way you are,

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change,
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are,
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while,
Cause boy you're amazing, just the way you are.

By the time Blaine glanced up from the piano, Sebastian looked like he was about to cry. Blaine stood and went over to the boy with the hurt expression and just hugged him. That's all he did, just hugged him. And they stood there for what seemed like an eternity before Blaine broke away.

"You… You okay?" He asked, moving to stand next to him and draping his arm around Sebastian.

"I… I just remembered something…" Sebastian said, furrowing his eyebrows. And then Blaine saw the single tear that made its way down Sebastian's cheek. "My dad… Back when I was younger, my parents broke up and my mom moved to France… She left me with my dad… And…" Sebastian paused for a moment before removing his blazer and dropping it to the floor, shrugging Blaine off in the process. He rolled his dress shirt up to his armpit, and he traced an invisible line with his finger. Blaine moved closer to look. There were several small, light pink lash marks all down Sebastian's side. You wouldn't notice them unless you were up close or looking for them. Then there was a longer one, one that stretched from the bottom of his ribs to beneath his grey dress pants. "He did that, all of that." Sebastian said, letting his shirt fall back down. He picked up the discarded blazer from the floor and hung it over his shoulders again. "He never accepted me for who I was… So he beat me. Until I learned to defend myself… That must be why I have so many knives laying around at home…" Sebastian said, drifting off in memory.

"Sebastian… Why didn't you tell me?"

And that was enough to set him off.

"I don't know!" Sebastian screeched, finally breaking down in sobs as Blaine rushed to his side, holding him as he nearly collapsed to the floor in agony. Blaine heard words thrown out every now and then, like 'abuse' or 'sorry' or even sometimes 'why me?'. Blaine felt helpless as they stood there, the other boy crying on his shoulder. Blaine had never thought he'd see Sebastian like this. Blaine hugged him tighter and patted his back, trying to comfort the poor boy. Blaine was finally beginning to see into the other boy's past, and what he saw scared him, made him realize why Sebastian was the way he was. Blaine had a difficult time imagining how someone could hate someone for being who they were, and just expressing themselves, to the point that they would beat them. Blaine wanted to ask how often it occurred, and what else he remembered about his father, but refrained because Sebastian might not remember. Or, on the other hand, it could be a sensitive subject. So Blaine just stood there, hugging the other boy, whispering soothing phrases into his ear. The sobbing slowed, until it was eventually just a slight whimper, and then it was just a simple embrace. Sebastian still smelled like the hospital, Blaine noted, but his hair smelled like his old Axe shampoo, and upon further observation, Blaine noted that the other boy's face was, in fact, wearing make-up to cover his moles. Blaine didn't judge, but he did think it was a bit odd of Sebastian. He couldn't help thinking where the other boy had gotten the make-up anyways, he had just told Blaine his mother moved to France. Maybe he always wore make-up, and Blaine just hadn't noticed. Blaine made a swift glance to the clock before remembering about Warbler practice this evening.

"Sebastian, the Warblers will be arriving in a few minutes… Did you want to stay for practice?" Blaine asked, nudging Sebastian gently, for he had curled into Blaine's shoulder now.

"I'll stay." He whispered hoarsely, finally pulling away from Blaine and moving away to go sit on the couch. Blaine felt cold with the other boy's warmth gone. Blaine heard voices moving closer from the hallway. Blaine loped over to the back of the couch where Sebastian was sitting and bent over next to his ear.

"Just know, I'll always love you for who you are." Blaine said, kissing the top of his head.

"Blaine… I honestly think I love you, in a romantic sort of way." Sebastian said, glancing up at the boy behind him nervously. Blaine took the opportunity to smile at the other boy, and leaning over, even though they were upside down and it was awkward, Blaine kissed Sebastian hard on the lips.

And, to Sebastian, it felt like his first kiss.