Gibbs sat tiredly at his desk.
The several cups of coffee so far not helping relieve the fatigue he felt, after getting next to no sleep.
Because of that damned book.
He looked up as he heard the elevator ding. It was early for most people to be in…
It was Tony, which for some reason set a small increase in his heart rate.
And that annoyed him.
He took in the slow gait, and sunglasses. DiNozzo hadn't slept again. He just knew it. Gibbs shook his head to himself, angry at Wendy once more.
"Morning Boss," Tony said tiredly as he took off his sunglasses and threw his bag down.
At least the suit was less serious.
"Morning, DiNozzo. Isn't it a little early for you?" Gibbs asked, as he took in the dark shades under Tony's eyes.
Tony looked at him and smiled.
Even exhausted, Gibbs took in, as if for the first time, that Tony did have very long eyelashes, and very attractive green eyes…and his mouth…
Gibbs looked down suddenly busying himself at his desk, trying to ignore the flush that threatened to climb up his neck, and not understanding why he'd even had that last thought. It had to be that goddamned book.
"I'yah…guess I just woke up early for some reason," Tony said casually, turning to his computer after Gibbs looked away from him. "Just thought I'd get in a little early…get some paperwork done. Requisition forms…I have to order Ziva those gel pens she likes…because the others don't write well and she just tosses them out be-"
Tony suddenly looked up, letting out a surprised squeak as he found pale blue eyes very close to his…too close…
"Ah…" he sat back in his chair as Gibbs leaned over him, intently studying his face. "Everything…ok Boss?" Tony asked feeling sure he must have done something to piss Gibbs off already.
Instead, the older man tilted his head, and said, "You sleep at all last night, Tony?"
Wait…was that…concern from Gibbs? Tony felt immediately thrown. He scrambled for a cover.
"Uh, well…I…went out with Amanda…you know, that girl from the car dealership, and-"
"Uh-huh," Gibbs scowled, as he stood up. Then he returned to his usual gruff tone. "I'd better not catch you asleep at your desk today." And with that he walked out calling, "Coffee," behind him.
Tony blew out a sigh after Gibbs left, and rubbed his eyes for a moment. He put his head in his hands.
He couldn't tell Gibbs that he hadn't slept much in several days…since Wendy told him about her book. He thought about it almost every minute he wasn't busy trying to find Rick Walsh.
He kept feeling like he was on borrowed time.
Part of him knew that he would never lose his job, per se, at NCIS over the allegations in that book. Even if someone gave a crap enough to connect the dots…
But it wasn't the job he was worried about. It was respect. If the people around him lost respect for him…he wouldn't be able to work with them anymore. He knew that. You couldn't do this job unless you trusted the people closest to you to have your back. He might lose them. His family. And Gibbs…hours of thinking about what it might be like…not having the older man in his life…
He couldn't breathe again.
"Shit," he gasped, hunching down a little over his knees in his chair, and grateful he was alone. The panic attacks had also come over the last several nights. He had to get a grip.
He breathed deeply. "Come on, DiNozzo…there are pens to order…and there's a bad guy out there that needs catching." He sat up and took a few more breaths, looking upwards for a moment in silent prayer for strength, and then turned back to his computer.
When Gibbs returned he quietly placed a coffee on Tony's desk, and went to his own without the SFA even noticing until his chair made it's usual clank sound.
Tony looked up at him and then noticed the coffee. He looked gratefully at Gibbs. "Thanks Boss."
Gibbs nodded wordlessly and opened a older on his desk.
Within an hour, both Ziva and McGee arrived, glancing curiously at Tony, still concerned as to what was going on with him.
They barely said good morning when Tony asked McGee, "Probie, how far'dya get yesterday on Walsh's credit card trail?"
Gibbs and Ziva looked up, also wanting to hear McGee's response.
"Ah…" McGee said, turning on his computer and reaching for his note pad. "Walsh frequented three other places with regularity, besides the Copper Whistle. Two are strip clubs, and the other is Taco Bell, believe it or not."
"The guy made, like how much money on Angela Simms and likely several other women, and he eats at Taco Bell all the time?' Tony marveled.
"Well, it is not unlike a grown man in a law enforcement career, who wears expensive shoes and keeps a Mighty Mouse stapler, on his desk, no?" Ziva said with a little smile.
"No, it is not like that Ziva. C'mon," Tony said, getting up and pulling up Walsh's bank records along with attempted hidden accounts as well onto the big screen. "This guy made upwards of one point three million last year. Taco Bell? Seriously?"
"Not like having a pizza addiction at all, " said McGee, needling Tony some more.
"Probie," Tony warned, "Never mock the pizza. It kept me alive in college. It keeps us fueled during long cases. Pizza is good hot. It's good cold. And even bad pizza, is good pizza."
Gibbs smiled a little to himself, at the more Tony-like response they were getting from him. Then he put on his game face.
"That Taco Bell near any of the strip joints, McGee?" Gibbs asked, getting up.
McGee looked a his screen, as Ziva got up and walked over, interested in where Gibbs was going with the point.
"Uh, yeah, Boss it is. It's near the "Painted Lady" gentlemen's club. So…what, Walsh likes to get a taco before-"
"Spending lots of time there," Tony said. "Most guys will just drop in for a drink or two, or a lap dance. If Walsh was regularly dining around the place, he probably spent a lot of time there…"
"And maybe some of his girls dance there as well?" ZIva asked, her dark eyes flashing like a cat about to pounce.
"Exactly," Tony said. "And…I'm thinkin', maybe he could be hiding out with one of his Ciccolinas." Tony smiled at her, and then looked at Gibbs. "Whaddy'a think, Boss?"
Gibbs looked at Tony, and gave him a subtle smile. "Worth a shot. Take Ziva. See if anyone's in."
"Onnit Boss," Tony said as Ziva grabbed her bag and followed him out to the elevator.
"McGee, keep digging on anything else you can find on Walsh."
"You got it Boss," McGee said, as Gibbs headed towards the lab.
Abby saw Gibbs arrive, with Caf-Pow this time, in the new rear-view mirror. She was proud of her new technological addition. It was actually the side mirror off a Mack truck cab.
"Hey Gibbs!" she said, smiling into the mirror before she spun around on her stool.
He immediately handed her the Caf-Pow, and she sipped it with a look of pure ecstasy on her face, and he smiled at the fluorescent crossbones ponytail holders adorning her dark pigtails.
She put it down, and then looked at Gibbs. "So?"
He knew she was asking if he read the book.
He took a deep breath, and absently rubbed the back of is head. "I only got through maybe a third. I could only stomach so much of it."
Abby sighed, looking at him compassionately. "You feel bad…cos' it's about Tony. But Gibbs, just read it. Tonight. Or-or sooner. ASAP. You have to…" her eyes veered away from him for a moment. And then she said in a low voice, with her eyes back on his, "I can't…talk to him…about this."
"Why not?" he frowned a little.
"Oh, I mean, I'd love to ask him, like a million questions…and . God. So hot...e-even though...it's Tony...but…"she shook her head,"I think he may need reassurance to…come from a man. Particularly, you."
Gibbs opened his mouth to speak but she continued.
"I mean, DADT is gone, and things are so much better now…and you're not a bigot..,and you're an …authority figure and yourhisbestfriend andhelooksuptoyou…"
It became a nervous stream of words as she saw the look on Gibbs' face changing…his eyes widening in shock.
DADT? His head was swimming, and suddenly his mouth felt incredibly dry. He felt slightly dizzy…maybe the world had just turned upside-down. Tony was…what was he? Gay? Bi? Jesus!
"You didn't get to those parts…well, just, read it. Okay Gibbs? I don't wanna make it worse for him than it is. I mean, I don't see anything wrong with what he did…other than Wendy was maybe not the best choice…but if you talk to him, maybe he will feel better…and then can talk to me too…But you have to help him before this book comes out…" She bit her lip, seeing that Gibbs had turned a paler shade than he usually was to begin with.
Gibbs continued to stare at her. He could barely wrap his head around it. Tony had sex with another man? He definitely needed to read the rest of the book…but felt somewhat out of his usual capacity to make sense right now.
One thing was for sure. Besides that Gibbs thought it possible he might actually have a stroke soon. Tony had to be horrified such an intimate…and possibly controversial detail of his life was going to be exposed. He had to do something to stall the release of Wendy's book, until he could…figure out how to help Tony.
She smiled when she saw "that" look pass over Gibbs face, as he tilted his head for a moment, and then nodded as he turned to leave.
"That's our man," she smiled into her rear view mirror again.
Gibbs sat in his car, in the NCIS garage to make the call. He got the information from McGee, and then threatened him with loss of limb if he told anyone about it.
"Kepler Publishing," a receptionist answered.
He squinted at the name scrawled on the note paper. "Yes, I'm looking for an Orlon Pink ?" what a name, he thought.
"Who may I say is calling?"
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs."
"One moment," the voice said and then Gibbs was listening to the classical music on hold for several moments.
The line clicked and he heard,"Pink."
"Orlon Pink?"
"Yes."
"I'm calling on behalf of a third party interested in the book you are about to release by Wendy Miller."
"What about it?"
"She didn't get permission from the concerned party, to publish details of their personal life she used in the book. In addition, she's publishing under her own name, and not a pen name. Which also puts her and Kepler publishing in position to be sued for not getting that permission."
"Mr…Gibbs was it? The book has already checked through legal, before printing, and is due to ship to the warehouse this week for distribution. The book still falls under the heading of fiction, so though some experience of hers may have been reflected in the book, she used different names and surely has molded a much more fanciful story of it than anyone would take as fact. I don't see that there's anything to worry about."
"You don't? Well alright, I guess we will proceed with filing the suit-"
"Suit? I don't see that being necessary or even effective for your purposes Mr. Gibbs, and you'll be wasting everyone's time and money and possibly interfering with the start of Ms. Miller's writing career…can't you come in with the related party if you'd like to talk-"
"I suggest you delay the book's release and talk to your writer, Mr. Pink. We will call in a weeks time to set something up."
"Mr. Gibbs, what Law frim did you say you were from? How do we-"
"Have a nice day, Mr. Pink. We'll be in touch." Gibbs hung up.
Probably wouldn't stop it from release without Tony taking legal action. But hopefully it would buy a little time while Pink chased Wendy down to make sure every "i" was dotted.
Ziva and Tony returned in the late afternoon, empty-handed, and frustrated. But they did have three names of dancers, for McGee to check out. They'd gone to the Painted Lady first, and then all three girls' apartments after the manager gave them the information. Only one was home, and claimed she hadn't seen Walsh in a few weeks. They would have to go back to check on the other two again.
Ziva was at McGee's desk, watching over his shoulder as he set up the checks for the dancers' names. If any of the girls seemed to have a rather high income (even for a stripper) it might indicate some other involvement with Walsh.
Gibbs watched as Tony made some notes, and then sat back, and seemed to zone out a little. He still looked very tired, and now had an unhealthy pallor to his face.
He watched as Tony rubbed his eyes, and then sat blinking for a moment, with his long eyelashes, until he looked up and saw Gibbs staring at him.
Their eyes locked for a few seconds, and Gibbs looked away.
"Alright. Go home. Back at it tomorrow," Gibbs said, as McGee and Ziva immediately started to get their things together.
Tony sighed. Home. He didn't want to go home. Right now, home was where the walls were closing in, where he could imagine having to pack all his belongings in boxes to move to another city to try and erase the pain of losing the people closest to him.
He moved slowly, and McGee and Ziva had already said goodbye and jumped on the elevator, when he found Gibbs standing next to his desk.
"DiNozzo, my office," Gibbs said quietly, and strode toward the elevator bank with Tony following slowly behind.
Tony sighed deeply. What now? He thought. Maybe Gibbs was disappointed he hadn't tracked down Walsh yet?
Gibbs stepped on, and Tony behind him. The doors closed, and as expected, Gibbs hit the switch.
He stared at the younger man now, whose eyes were roaming the closed elevator doors. He stepped closer to Tony, who was waiting for Gibbs to say what was on his mind.
The wary green eyes finally met Gibbs' face. "Somethin' wrong, Boss?"
"You tell me."
Tony looked at Gibbs intently, and seemed to be thinking, and then quickly said, "Nope…just tired. Nothin' to tell Boss." Then he looked away.
"If there were…somethin' to tell, I hope you'd come to me. " Gibbs sighed."You look like crap."
"Gee…thanks Boss. That is a real ego booster." He looked again at Gibbs, who was still looking back at him, with genuine concern. He saw that Gibbs was sincere. Then he said softly, "Thanks Boss." Tony knew he wasn't doing a great job of acting normal the last several days. But he was afraid that at any moment, the rug would get pulled out from under his life.
Gibbs sighed and picked up his hand, wanting to smack the back of Tony's head and tell him to stop being an ass, to just talk to him…but suddenly, he couldn't do it, He didn't really want to give him the headslap as per usual to straighten him out…
No. He couldn't do it because the truth was he just wanted to touch Tony, touch his hair…his skin…did he want to comfort him? A flash of an image went through his mind…of Tony orgasming while he moaned into another man's mouth…
He slammed the switch back on, while Tony looked at him with a bit of confusion. Was Gibbs angry? He thought the talk was over…
Tony licked his lips and was about to say something when the doors opened and Gibbs quickly walked off.
"So…you want to spend some more quality time together pretty girl?" Justin breathed into the phone.
Was he kidding? The three of us together was incredible…the orgasm I had…I could barely think about anything else! I clutched the receiver with both hands. Drew was in the shower.
"Yes…Oh God, do I. But…Drew won't even talk to me about what we did. How can I ask him again?"
"Well, remember Melissa, this is new for you both and…he is a pretty straight guy. I mean…that kiss was hot, believe me. I find you both very exciting…and I'd love to…broaden his horizons…But anyway, he might not wanna' do it again."
I sighed deeply on my end of the line.
Then Justin said, "You want me to talk to him?"
"You think you can?"
"Well sure, I can try. What nights are he home on this week?"
I hope I wasn't making a mistake. "Wednesday or Thursday?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes and then skimmed forward some more.
When I came home that night, I got another surprise. Justin and Drew were both in the living room, drinking beer, and apparently Justin had gotten Drew's shirt off and was massaging his shoulders.
Hot anger bloomed through Gibbs once again at the idea of this bastard massaging …touching Tony.
They both looked like they were surprised I was actually there.
I giggled at them…as I tried to see if they were sporting erections in their jeans.
"You starting without me?" I asked, pouting at them both as Drew looked guiltily at me.
"I- We weren't-" Drew stood up to come and kiss me as he stammered.
"Honey, it's fine. I was…hoping we could all talk…" I looked from his slightly dazed green eyes over to Justin, who was smiling and gave me a little motion with his hand to let me know things were okay. He wore contacts again...his hair loose and wavy...for me or for Drew?
Drew kissed me twice and smiled a little. "Yeah…okay. Talk. Let's…talk…about this…
I threw my bag down, giving Justin a kiss on the cheek…though I wanted to attack his heart-shaped mouth. I got a beer myself, and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, so I could see them both as they sat on the couch.
Everyone was quiet.
I suddenly smiled and said, "Okay. Why don't we start with…did you like what we did together, all three of us?"
Drew looked back and forth between the two of us, and licked his lips a little nervously. He said shakily, 'Yeah. I'm…a little freaked out I guess…I'm sorry babe. I…I…did…like it though." He exhaled in relief, getting the words out.
Justin looked at Drew, his eyes sparkling. "I loved it, enjoyed both of you. You guys are very sexy, and very cool people." He looked at me for a moment, "And you're both pretty dirty." I shivered at those words.
"I really enjoyed it…and…I'd like to do it again…and more of it…and explore…" I looked hopefully at Drew, who now looked like he was going to bolt again.
He took a shaky breath in.
"Drew?" I called, to try and prompt a response from him.
"I'd love to do it again…I'd love to have you both," Justin said, and this time, Drew shivered, as he gazed at Justin for a moment, wide-eyed.
"You…fuck…" Gibbs growled.
After a moment, Drew shifted a little on the couch, looking around the room almost desperately. He looked at me a long while, and dropped his head down. "I don't think you guys understand something…"
Justin and I both looked at him expectantly.
"Make us," I said. "I mean, if you don't want to do it, it's okay." I said, and then reached across the table to place my hand on his knee.
He bit his lip for a moment.
"I don't know, if you realize how dangerous this could be for me if anyone gets the idea I did anything with a guy." Drew's words were quietly spoken, and deadly serious.
"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly feeling afraid.
"I mean," he began, putting his hand over mine and giving it a little squeeze, "that even though it isn't right, some of the guys if not most, don't react well if they think someone on the job is gay."
"Or Bi?" Justin asked.
"I guess…it just…could be bad if you're around guys who might not have your back when you need them…"Drew tried hard to explain.
"And in your line of work," Justin said slowly, "that means you could get killed."
Drew looked at Justin gratefully, and nodded. "Yes."
"So…you're not…ashamed of what we did?" I asked Drew, wanting to understand all of his thoughts on this.
"Ahhh," he looked around again, thinking, "No…maybe I would be if the guys found out at the job…but you now, I had gay friends in college. And a few who just…experimented. And I just…didn't have the guts. I mean…I guess I'm a little conflicted. I am…curious…"he said, and looked at Justin, whose eyes were starting to burn with lust as he gazed at Drew's face.
Gibb wanted to light the book on fire.
"But, my main concern," he said turning back to look at me with his beautiful green eyes, "is us. I don't want to take the risk of ruining out relationship."
I smiled at him. I loved him so much.
"I can understand your concerns, my friend," Justin said. "I don't do this couples thing often, but…in my field, it wouldn't be great either if people knew. If it makes you feel better, I can tell you I have every reason to also keep things discreet, and maybe if we proceed, it should only be behind closed doors."
Drew was quiet. Thinking.
Justin continued. "Also, please understand, I'm not looking to take Melissa from you. I am attracted to you both, and would love nothing more than to be someone you can really explore with safely."
I looked at them both, saying a silent prayer to myself, that Drew would agree to it. Any other concerns…I pushed from my mind.
Of course you did, Gibbs thought. Stupid girl.
Drew took a breath and stood up, and paced a little while Justin and I looked at each other.
"Don't do it, DiNozzo," Gibbs begged, knowing already what the answer was.
Finally he turned to us and said, "Okay."