Tony was speechless, when Gibbs had quietly gotten off the floor, and gave him a hand up.

He stood, and was vaguely dizzy, hearing the sound of Gibbs locking the door. Locking everyone out, or me in? he wondered.

His next surprise was the warm, calloused hands in the shadows of the hallway nudging him towards the stairs, towards the bedroom.

Tony felt nervous all over again. What did it all mean?

One minute Gibbs could hardly look at him, and the next he was ravaging Tony's body…and maybe even his soul…

They entered the master bedroom in the darkness, and Gibbs went to the bathroom, turning on the light inside. He closed the door and left a crack, a sliver of light for them to see with.

Tony's eyes adjusted to see the strong, muscled silhouette approach the bed and pull back the covers.

He swallowed.

Gibbs hardly slept in this room…

Gibbs got in and motioned him, with a soft, "Come."

Tony hesitated for just a moment, feeling the surreal quality the situation. But then he remembered the way Gibbs' eyes had looked at him, right after they'd both had blinding orgasms on the floor downstairs.

He took a shaky breath, and got into the bed.

He shifted a bit, on a pillow, adjusting to get comfortable on his side, facing the older man, his head leaning on the hand of his bent arm.

Gibbs saw the uncertainty, before Tony decided to lie next to him. He couldn't blame him. His head had to be spinning.

He noticed the flick of Tony's eyelashes, just barely in the dark.

There was a line of light from the bathroom door, but it rested lower on the bed, across their legs.

Gibbs took a breath. "You didn't really have a date tonight, did you?"

Tony snorted softly. "No. But…I dunno…I guess I wanted to get under your skin."

"Think it worked?"

"Ah…yeah," Tony said, smiling though he wasn't sure Gibbs could see it. "But…I didn't expect you to get…ah…"

"Crazy?"

"Yeah."

Gibbs sighed, "Well, I thought you were probably full of shit. But…then I thought…what if…and" Gibbs swallowed harshly. "I just…to think you might be…" Gibbs stopped to rub his face. He flopped back on the bed to look up at the ceiling. "I dunno' which end is up. I'm just not myself right now."

Tony felt disturbed by the comment, but appreciated that Gibbs was trying to communicate with him, and was doing it in a bed.

"You don't want another man touching me."

A pause.

"No. I don't."

"But, Boss-"

"Lee."

"Huh?"

"You're naked in my bed, Tony, calling me Boss is a little wierd…unless maybe the moment calls for it…"

"K'ay…uh…Lee, why after all these years? You never got upset about the women. The…numerous…women I've been with."

Gibbs was quiet for a while, turning it over in his mind. But he couldn't come up with an exact answer. "I dunno'. Maybe…because…it was never a possibility to me you'd want a man? Maybe…I wanted you but blocked it out? I mean…chrissakes, I've had four wives."

Tony chuckled. "Maybe they didn't have the right equipment."

Gibbs snorted. "I dunno'. " And then he said more quietly, "But…I loved Shannon. Very much…"

"I know."

After an longer pause, Tony said, "You…never did it with a guy at all? I mean…you're good, Bo- err, Lee."

Gibbs laughed a little this time. "No. Never. Maybe we should thank Wendy for teaching me some things with that book."

Tony bristled at the mention of it, and Gibbs felt the shift of Tony's body stiffening on the bed.

Tony sighed.

"Hey," Gibbs said in almost a whisper, as he turned and touched Tony's face. "I told you…I know I should have let you know that I read it. And I'm sorry for that."

He heard Tony swallow again in the darkness, "Don't apologize, Lee, it's a sign of weakness."

"Not between friends," Gibbs replied.

"That what we are? Friends? Because…" Tony started to feel anxiety building in him. Fear that this was just a brief interlude, and that Gibbs would return to his version of Superman in the Fortress of Solitude tomorrow. "I can't…lose you. You've been the only person I know I can count on…and…" he was struggling, breath starting to hitch a little.

Hearing the distress in Tony's voice, Gibbs reached out without any hesitation, pulling the trembling form to him. Tony felt so good. Yet so different than a woman.

And…how could he still smell like a cookie after the sex downstairs?

In fact it was a sweet mix of musk, and sex, and cookie.

He held Tony tight, letting a hand stroke his head, But then he felt hot liquid drip onto his neck from where Tony's face was buried. And it killed him, that any of the pain was brought about by Gibbs' own actions.

Gibbs sighed into his hair, "I dunno' what I'm doing exactly…with you…but I don't wanna' hurt you. I swear I don't. I'm not sure though, that I can help myself. God help me, I want you…I just can't promise you…"

"You don't have to promise me anything," Tony murmured. "Just don't push me out of your life. I won't...be able to handle that..." he barely got the words out, choking a little on them.

He felt Gibbs' hand drop gently from his hair, and start to slowly run up and down his back, and his ass, down the back of his thighs, and then back up his side.

And as he continued to do it, to soothe them both, Gibbs realized after some time Tony had calmed. And was starting to gasp a little, and whimper in response to his hands.

Gibbs allowed his hand to go from Tony's ass again, down the back of his thighs, but then instead of letting it drift up his side, lightly ghosted it over his cock, which was as hard as a rock once more.

Gibbs circled his long fingers over the velvety skin covering the yearning flesh.

"Uhhhh…" Tony moaned and then his breath hitched suddenly as Gibbs slowly stroked him.

He wanted to take his time now, instead of practically attacking the younger man.

Tony leaned back into the pillow, throwing his head back a little, exposing his throat and arching a bit. He started to thrust into Gibbs' hand.

Tony hissed as Gibbs' hand stopped for a moment to move to his balls, tugging gently on them.

"You like the way we did it?" Gibbs asked. "Or do you…do you like to be the one on top?" He was unsure he really wanted the answer to that, but felt he should ask. Instead of just taking. The way he had done…brutally. He remembered hearing Tony's puff of breath as the air was knocked out of him when Gibbs pulled him down onto the floor…

"I can do either…but…I probably…uhhhhh" he tried to continue, but Gibbs was stroking him again, and licking and nibbling his shoulder. "I…ahhhh…like it more when…"

Suddenly Gibbs moved, and the bed shifted, as a hot tongue licked Tony's dickhead.

"Oh!" Tony yelped. "Fuck! How the hell do you do that to me?" he was sweating, and writhing, feeling the lips and tongue, and hot breath on his shaft.

Suddenly, he decided to turn the tables on Gibbs, and grabbed the back of his head by its silvery hair, glowing in the little bit of bathroom light.

He shoved his whole cock into Gibbs' mouth, crushing his head to him. "God! Suck my dick!"

For just a moment he thought maybe he'd made Gibbs angry, because he pulled his head back, but it was because the older man started to choke a bit and needed air.

"Ah…sorry…Boss. Lee. Sorry…"he gentled his hand on Gibbs' head a little.

"Easy, Tony," Gibbs said in amusement. "I'm not used to this."

"Could'a fooled me. I love the way you suck me…" Tony groaned, as Gibbs resumed what he was doing. "Jesus! And I…especially love the way you fuck me…"

Gibbs hummed his response while continuing to lick and suck up and down.

Tony's hands went out, grasping bunches of blanket, writhing and moaning more loudly. He wished there was more light in the room.

Suddenly it stopped, Gibbs withdrew his mouth, and shifted again in the darkness.

"On your side," he breathed out to Tony, who rolled onto his side, away from Gibbs.

He felt the warmth of the older man's body press up against him. He groaned, pressing his hips back.

"Easy," he heard by his ear. As one of Gibbs' arms scooped under his ribcage and encircled him. The hand attached to it pinched Tony's left nipple. He hissed and felt Gibb's dick hard against his ass as he squirmed.

Lips kissed the back of Tony's neck, as he grabbed Gibbs' hip and pulled him hard up against him.

"Not this time…" Gibbs whispered. "Slow this time…"He wanted to know what it would be like to just take their time…and not feel like he was raping the other man.

Tony whimpered loudly in protest, but then let out a gasp of pleasure as he felt Gibbs enter him from behind, slipping in with ease, olive oil and Gibbs' cum still coating the tight channel.

"Tony," Gibbs grunted into his ear, while hands were pinching his nipples and brushing up against his cock.

"I…I…" Tony tried to for words, but he could barely breathe. The big dick was gliding slowly out, and then swooping back in, deeply, erasing his thoughts.

Gibbs focused his intent on mapping every shiver of pleasure, every moan, every twitch in the younger man's body, as he drove him crazy with the slow but relentless pace.

"I dunno' how long I can take this…" Tony moaned out, reaching back behind him to claw at Gibbs' shoulders and back.

"You'll take it as long as I make you," Gibbs said in a low growl.

"Yes…God…yes Boss…"

Gibbs smiled at the timely use of the word "Boss."

Tony's skin was becoming roasting hot and slick with sweat. Gibbs stroked his dick on and off, stopping whenever Tony seemed close to orgasm. Tony's breathing had become so ragged, that after a while, he was closer to sobbing, and starting to babble.

When Gibbs heard the stream of cries, "Onlyyouonlyyou…onlyyoubossgodpleasem'gunnadie," his own need overtook him.

He rolled Tony onto his stomach, pushing out Tony's legs with his knees, and then leaned down on his back, as he started to thrust into him more vigorously.

Sweat was now pouring down Gibbs' own body, and face, as he hammered into the hot, tight asshole.

He knew when he'd gotten the tempo and angle right when he heard "OHGOD! YESYESYES! FUCK RIGHTHERE!" from the shuddering man underneath him.

Gibbs felt the curling up sensation inside him, as his body approached orgasm. "Tony," he moaned. "I'm gonna give it all to you…"

"I'm cumming," Tony said in a barely audible voice, unable to breathe, as his body clenched around Gibbs' cock.

Gibbs' whole body began to tense and flex as he let himself ram full force into Tony, and bit down on his shoulder, causing the younger man to cry out, as Gibbs' hips stuttered and he felt wave upon wave of spasm drain him completely.

He closed his eyes, lying on top of Tony for a minute, trying to catch his breath.

He was completely spent.

He rolled off the still form, and then onto his side, sighing contentedly.

He brought gentle fingers to Tony's face, turned towards him, and then smiled as he heard the soft snore.

It was morning.

Tony smelled coffee, and stretched, jerking a little from the aches and pains left to remind him of what had happened the night before.

He wanted to get up and shower. And then…what? How would Gibbs act today? He still wasn't at all sure what was happening between them. Except that it was huge.

The sex was…unbelievable.

But what would happen to them? To their friendship ? To their…relationship?

"Get a grip," Tony said to himself, forcing his body up and into Gibbs' bathroom. As he ran the shower, and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he heard the echoes in his mind of the conversations he'd had with his reflection earlier in the week. Fear and insecurity tugged at him. But then he saw the reddish mark on his shoulder where Gibbs had bitten him in a moment of passion.

Passion.

He was more than just a toy. More than just an experiment. More than just a friend.

Something warm was trying to work it's way outward from his heart…fighting away the fear and self-loathing that seemed to always lie in wait.

At least there was some hope for them…maybe?

He sighed and turned to step into the shower.

Gibbs was whistling to himself in the kitchen, starting up the range to make eggs and bacon for them.

You used to whistle when you made breakfast for Shannon on Sundays, a little voice said in the back of his mind.

The realization of that brought on a myriad of emotions. Shock, guilt, happiness, fear…and maybe something else he just couldn't face right now. He enjoyed being with Tony last night…the sex was inexplicably fantastic. Even though Tony had almost choked him.

Suddenly Gibbs laughed to himself and shook his head. "Guess I'll have to work on that."

He put the bacon on in one pan, and then eggs in another, and then he heard the thud of the daily newspaper hit his front door.

As Gibbs quickly walked to the door, and unlocked it, Tony barreled down the stairs in a towel, needing to find his clothes.

He saw Gibbs in the doorway, leaning down to get the paper.

As Gibbs stood up and turned, stepping back into the house, Tony put an arm around him and said "Good morning," smiling as he got closer to Gibbs. He was about to lean in and nip the older man's neck playfully, when he was shoved away hard.

Tony had to keep himself from falling into the wall, and looked up at Gibbs with wide eyes as he turned and slammed the front door closed.

"What the Hell, DiNozzo?" he said, irritated, and glaring at Tony, panting just a bit.

Tony's mouth opened, but no words came out. His expression changed from shock to anger, and then a cooler mask of indifference. He just stared at Gibbs and let out a barely audible breath.

Not again, Gunny, Gibbs thought to himself. You screwed the pooch AGAIN.

Gibbs took a breath. He looked down at Tony's bare feet for a moment. And then back up to his disappointed green eyes.

"M'not so ready…for other people to know…" Gibbs said, apologetically.

Tony looked away, and nodded. Still not responding with any words.

Shit, Gibbs thought. "You just caught me by surprise. I didn't mean to-"

"S'okay." Tony cut him off, nodding. "I get it, Boss." He then quickly moved, looking around for his clothes.

Gibbs heard the snapping of the oil in the kitchen, and went in, hoping he hadn't burned anything.

Once he'd rescued the eggs, he turned to see Tony had his jeans and shoes on, and was snaking his tee shirt back on, over his head.

"I hope you're in the mood for eggs over and bacon," Gibbs said, hoping Tony really did understand what had just happened. That it was just Gibbs being jumpy…

Tony stood at the entrance of the kitchen, and looked at Gibbs for a long moment, his head tilted. Gibbs felt dread at the cool stare…feeling like something was being evaluated. Like he was being evaluated. And somehow he knew he would come up short. Because he'd screwed up. Again.

Tony must have picked up on the apprehension, as he stared at Gibbs' blue eyes. He sighed, and looked at the plate on the counter, eggs sitting in wait for the bacon.

He looked back at Gibbs, almost longingly, but said, "Sorry, Boss. I gotta go. I promised Abby I'd help her with something this morning." He tried a weak smile, and then quickly turned and grabbed his car keys off the console table by the kitchen.

"Tony-" Gibbs called after him, hearing the front door open, and walked out of the kitchen in time to see it close.

He knew he should go after him, make him understand. But…the truth was he couldn't bear to make a scene out where the neighbors might see.

See him having a fight with his…lover? Boyfriend? Jesus. Boyfriend?

And then with sadness, he thought, Ex?

Tony drove.

He needed to clear his head.

It was understandable. Gibbs' reaction was probably natural for a guy who'd been straight his whole life. Hell, Tony was terrified at what the release of Wendy's book could still do to him.

Maybe he was being a hypocrite.

Maybe…he was the douchebag this time. Not Gibbs.

The look in Gibbs' eyes as he tried to coax Tony into breakfast…

"God!" He banged the steering wheel with his hand.

He knew it was too late for them to get past this. To return to the way things used to be. He also knew…he loved Gibbs. He didn't want to go back to the way things were. But could there be a forward? He…was…in love with Gibbs. And Gibbs…was maybe not going to be able to handle this.

Over the years, when he'd had a problem, he knew he could go to Gibbs. And Gibbs would help. Talk to him, or listen, or just get skunked on bourbon with him in the basement or Mulligan's. He trusted Gibbs with his life.

But who the Hell could he talk to now? If he couldn't talk to Gibbs, who would he have left to depend on?

Once again, the thought of losing Gibbs, and his friends, and his job…losing everything, crashed down on him.

He'd only ever had one home…one real home. And that was NCIS.

Tony pulled into his parking spot in the garage under his building. He sat in the car for a minute, trying to calm himself.

He was tired of this. Feeling afraid. Afraid of what people would find out. Afraid of losing…

He closed his eyes for a moment.

What are you, Tony, a pussy? For chrissakes, you're a Federal Agent. You're a man. You've faced serial killers, terrorists. Bombs. Y pestis. Murder charges. And they all stood by you.

"Dumbass," he mumbled at himself. They were better friends than that. McGee, and Ziva, Abby and Ducky. Even Palmer. He should have more faith in them. And himself. Right?

And Vance couldn't fire him for sleeping with men.

But he could make life hell, if it turns out he's a homophobe…

"Enough!" he barked at himself.

He needed to eat something, and a change of clothes. And then he would take things one step at a time. Maybe…go back to Gibbs' later…and hopefully apologize…he raised a brow as he distantly wondered if make-up sex could be involved…

He got out of his car, head filled, wheels spinning in several directions.

Which is why he didn't notice the figure behind him, holding a hypodermic needle filled with amber fluid.