Tony sat in a coffeehouse in Norristown, Pennsylvania, in a corner with his laptop. It was a stop on his way to New Hope, on the Delaware river, where he hoped to spend a few days unwinding before continuing on to New York.

He felt like a heel, leaving town like he did, without telling the team, or even Gibbs that he had resigned the Friday night before.

After the exchange between he and Gibbs in the hospital, he was forced to really take stock of the situation.

It wasn't a last minute or flip decision. He'd spoken to Ducky…admitted that something had happened between he and Gibbs. Because he knew Ducky could keep a secret better than anyone on the team. And he trusted his opinion.

(Flashback)

Ducky stood in the hospital room, watching Tony gather his things, in preparation to be discharged.

He couldn't help but notice the heavy air of depression about his young friend.

"I really appreciate you giving me a ride, Ducky," Tony said, with a little smile. "I guess you had no new guests in autopsy today?" He was sitting on the bed, filling out one last form for the nurses on the rolling tray.

Ducky took off his hat, his blue-eyes gaze taking in the little tremor in Tony's fingers as he gripped the form and wrote on it.

He quietly sat next to Tony, who was concentrating on getting the form done.

"It's no bother, and, there were no new guests at the inn today, so to speak." He waited a little while, and then said, "My dear boy, I wondered if you might consider coming to stay at my place for a few days, instead of heading to your apartment."

Tony stopped writing, and looked at him. "No. No- I'm fine Ducky. But that's really nice of you."

"Mmm-hmm, well, I just, can't see how you would be fine, after suffering such a heinous experience with that lunatic Orlon Pink. It had to have been…awful. And I'm sure at this time it would be comforting to have someone look after you a bit. I thought perhaps Jethro-"

Tony looked away instantly, frowning a little.

"I haven't said anything wrong, have I? Oh…I am sorry. Maybe I should'nt have brought up that dreadful man," Ducky said with concern.

"No…"Tony said softly. He sighed, trying to pick up the pen and just finish the paperwork. "It's okay Ducky." He blinked a few times, and then put the pen down. He seemed to be having an inner debate for the stretch of 10 seconds. Turning to him, Tony said, "I need to leave NCIS."

Ducky's eyes widened in surprise behind his spectacles. "Why?" he asked, not hiding his dismay. "Why ever would you do such a thing?"

Tony took a deep breath, letting the air slowly out from his nose. He turned and picked up the pen again, determined to finish. "It's complicated."

"Is this about the book?" Ducky asked carefully.

He saw the muscles in Tony's jaw tighten for a moment.

Well, they all know about it now. Because of Pink. Tony couldn't wait to testify and send the sick bastard to jail.

"Yes. No…I dunno'." He finished the form, signing his name at the bottom.
Let's just go," he said, looking hopefully at the ME.

But Ducky didn't budge.

"Young man, it is obvious to me that something has been going on with you, and Jethro recently. And I would very much like for you to trust me, right now, because the decision you're talking about is…monumental. You can't just expect me to get up and pretend you didn't just say you are leaving us," Ducky put a hand on Tony's arm. "I won't repeat a thing you say. Not to anyone."

Tony stared at him with wariness. He bit his lip for just a moment, looking down. And then swallowed, looking back at Ducky.

"I slept with Gibbs."

The older man's mouth went slightly agape for the second time since entering Tony's room. He was very surprised, but quickly recovered. "I have to admit…I thought perhaps, something had happened between you two. But I really wasn't sure what." Ducky's brows knit just slightly, in thought. "I guess…I need to understand a little more, about why that would make you leave. Is…Jethro pressuring you to-"

"Oh no, no Ducky, he didn't ask me to resign." Tony tried to pull his thoughts together to explain what a mess it all was. Simple was probably the best way. "We crossed a line, Duck. And…"his green eyes flicked around the room, before resing on him again. "There's no going back. We can't be effective working together any longer."

Ducky raised his brows, "Indeed….well, I rather thought the two of you were professionals, and surely one incident-"

"No. More…more than once," Tony felt himself turning colors finally, finding it a little embarrassing to reveal the truth to Ducky, who was like a grandfather to him.

"I see," Ducky said. He put a comforting hand on Tony's back. "Does he feel the same way?"

"About the job? I mean-"

"No, Tony. You know what I mean," Ducky said, so gently, that it made Tony's eyes suddenly glitter with moisture.

"He…he has too much trouble with this, Duck. I mean…I have trouble with it, but…I would…" he trembled a bit getting the words out. "I would try…but…Rule twelve. And the danger of the job. And he's Gibbs. You don't get manlier than that." He snorted a little, looking away from Ducky to the wall, shoulders a little slumped in defeat.

Ducky nodded, understanding very much, what Tony was saying.

"But Tony, do you really want to leave the team? We are your family, lad. This sounds a bit like the baby going with the bathwater. I'm sure you could talk to Director Vance-"

"And tell him what, Ducky? That I fell in love with Gibbs?" Tony laughed a little harshly, "I mean…I don't think he'd even believe it. And so…what, then I make something up? Gibbs will be pissed off at me. And then I'll be on another team, trying to avoid bumping into Gibbs everyday because I just wanna'…" he stopped, panting lightly. He looked at Ducky, with determination. "I'm not doing it. I've lived with the worry that someone would find out about my past for too long…covered it up. Almost even forgot about it. And then there was Gibbs. Who demanded so much of me…for this job. And he became…" he paused to inhale shakily. "Gibbs taught me so much. We've been so tight, for so long. And to have this…come between us…well, let's just say I want to give myself a chance to live without the past waiting to bite me in the ass. And I also…can't…get over this while I'm working at NCIS, even in the same building with Gibbs. Don't you see, Duck? What happened between us…I could finally be…real…with him. He found out about that book…and…" Tony was struggling to speak.

"Alright," Ducky said, trying to calm him. "I understand, Anthony. I do. I will just be…very sad for you to leave us. I wish there was another way."

"So do I, Ducky," he said sadly.

(End Flashback)

Tony had made all the arrangements after he got home from the hospital. And spoken to the Director, strategically making his appointment with him, on Friday evening after Gibbs and the team had left. Vance agreed to keep Tony's resignation quiet and just let Gibbs know on Monday. He knew Gibbs would likely blow a gasket, but he couldn't allow Gibbs or the team the opportunity to guilt him into staying.

But…he had to see Gibbs one more time…

To tell him off. Or just to tell him…but ended up on the couch. And when he heard Gibbs say they couldn't work together or someone would get killed…he knew Gibbs was right.

Yes, he still thought Gibbs was hiding behind rule 12…but he couldn't take anymore of loving him and getting pushed away repeatedly. It had to stop.

Tony sighed, thinking about how much he'd loved working for Gibbs and NCIS. And now…with his stuff in storage, and some clothes packed in his car, he was going to take some time to think. And figure out where he wanted to try and build a better life for himself.

He looked down at his laptop, and began to type.

Dear Abs,

I'm so sorry…I know I'm such a turd for doing this over email with you. You guys all deserve much better from me. But- I had to leave. And it had to be quick. I know you won't understand. And you're gonna be so pissed at me. But please remember, I love you so much. You're like a sister to me, and if you need me, my new cell is 555-984-4421. I'll be back in a few weeks, for the Pink trial. Maybe we could go to dinner. And talk.

Make sure Tim brings you extra Caf-Pow. And don't take any crap from Ziva.

Love, Tony

Dear Tony,

WHAT THE HELL? I just heard via McGee that you FREAKIN QUIT? You better get back here mister! I do not accept your resignation. And I'm sure neither does Gibbs! I don't know what is going on with you, but you should have just come to us, or just to me, to talk. Is it about the book? Tony, I swear, no one cares about that!

You're right. I don't understand. Don't we deserve any say? It's not fair. IT IS NOT FAIR TONY. You come back or I won't forgive you. Ever. I swear it.

No love for you.

Abby

Probie,

Guess I probably shocked the Hell outta' you guys. By now you know I resigned. I'm sorry for not talking to you about it. But I had to do it quickly. Just please don't ask why. SO much has happened, between that damned book…and Pink. But, anyway, I just want to let you know that I'm really proud of the Agent you have become, and the good man you already were when you started with NCIS. I'm gonna miss you. And listen, I'm not there to watch Gibbs' six anymore. As you know, that's a full time job times like, fifty. Stay sharp and be careful. I should be back in a few weeks for Pink's trial. Maybe we could go for a beer, if you're not too pissed off at me for leaving like this.

My new cell is 555-984-4421.

Make sure you bring Abby extra Caf-Pow. And don't take any crap from Ziva.

T.

Tony-

I can't believe you did that! Are you okay? I mean, that was…so sudden. It's already too quiet here. Gibbs looked like he was gonna stroke out today. And left after he yelled at Vance for accepting your resignation. Why did you go? Where are you going? Gibbs isn't back yet, but Dorneget is sitting with me to go over computer security protocols, which is as about as much fun as being on stakeout with you.

I guess, to be honest, I'm going to miss you. Even though you're a jackass.

You taught me a lot Tony. And I'll never forget it.

As for the beer, make it several and count me in.

I'll call you during the week to talk.

Fondly-

Tim

Hey Ziva,

I bet, you're sharpening a knife, or…cleaning a gun…thinking about killing me for taking off like I have, but…I had to. Things got so complicated for me with that book (which I am cringing because I know you're gonna read it, but I think it will explain a lot). And then Pink…that sick bastard. I'll be back for his trial in a few weeks. Maybe wanna go shoot at the range with me? I know you won't stay angry with me, because I know you understand what it's like to not fit anymore in your own life. I had to do this. I miss you already, my little ninja chick.

If you wanna' belittle me over the phone sometime, my new cell is 555-984-4421.

In case you don't know what 'cringing' means, ask Tim.

Love, Tony

Dear Tony,

I would never pick such easy ways to kill you. I am very unhappy that you left without saying goodbye. Or explaining why. It was very unsettling. But, I do know you were going through a difficult time. We all saw it. Even if we did not know exactly what it was. But no matter what happens, we are a family, and that will not change just because you do not work here with us. I will go shooting with you when you come, if you are able to stand after I kick your ass for going like this. And for telling Tim and Abby not to take any crap from me.

And I do know what cringing is. You will be doing it when I see you.

It will not be the same here without you.

I am certain we will talk soon.

Love,

Ziva