First off, much love to my reviewers! SpadesAndClubs and LisaaxDudette :) You make my smiles happen!
Needless to say, it's been a while. And, I'm sorry we don't get together and do this more often. But one of these days, I'm gonna make a lasagna and we can all get together and chat about how our lives are going...
:) Till then, please do enjoy...
Embry was beginning to feel like a stalker. What time he spent not sleeping or eating was now spent as a wolf, in a rainy wood, outside the house of his new 'friend'. He consoled himself with the fact that it'd already been decided that someone had to watch her, and really he would rather it be him anyway. Still, why did that have to make him feel like such a creeper?
'Because you are.' Quil joked from his "parameter run" around the property. These days, things were so peaceful, it took only two wolves to run parameter… and only one to actually do the running, while another kept an ear out.
'Thanks a lot.' Embry griped back, resting his muzzle on his paws. The sky was dark gray, as it had been all day. Not a torrential down poor, but the steady flow was almost worse. At least a down pour would've raged itself out.
'Hey man, you earned it.' Quil reminded. Embry had been pretty scathing towards the others since this whole mess started. 'It's only a mess to you because you're in the thick of it.'
'It's easy for you to say.' Embry quipped back. 'Your imprint adores you.'
'Yeah, but that may not always be the case.' Embry could feel the hidden tension behind that. 'Maybe, she wont want me around so much… you know. At thatage. I know I didn't want anyone older around when I was getting into my teens.'
'God, when did we become mature?' Embry asked, a grunt working its way up his throat.
'So, how's she been?' Quil asked, wisely changing the subject to something Embry would probably enjoy talking about.
'A hermit.'
'Not that you mind.'
Funny thing. When Embry thought about it, it wasn't really so much a complaint… in fact, he almost found it cute.
'Aww, how sweet.' Quil cooed.
'Shut up.' Embry bit back. There was a moment of good humor felt, and even Embry couldn't deny that it was funny.
'So. Nothing at all?'
Embry heaved a sigh, making little droplets of water scatter from the leaves his nose was nearest. 'Well… there's smells of paint, and plenty of scurrying… A phone call or two but nothing really … I've been trying not to listen.'
'Right.' Embry could practically feel Quil's smirk. 'Wouldn't wanna be a creeper.'
'Ass.'
'Grouch.'
Embry had been grateful ever since the blinds and curtains had gone up in the windows… It felt like a gross exposure, and he was the violator. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what was going on in there.
'You'll find out tomorrow.' Quil reminded.
Embry would've replied with something sarcastic, but the back door swung open suddenly. Joanna darted out, wearing a long windbreaker that seemed to go to her knees and a pair of old jeans. She jogged to the back gate, the gate practically right in front of Embry. She opened the gate slightly and lifted herself up on her tips toes, hastily shoving something small into a niche in the top of the post. She sighed softly and turned to leave, but her eyes fell on Embry. Her eyes doubled in size before she quickly took a giant step back, through the gateway.
'Quick! Cock your head to the side!' Quil called. Embry did it, but mostly because he was wondering why Quil was so insistent on him doing it. 'Chicks love that adorable puppy look.' Quil assured. Embry would've scowled if he could. Unfortunately Joanna's expression remained the same… it was too fearful to be wary, but too curious to be fear. 'Is it me, or does she seem different?' Quil briefly went over his memory of her earlier — when she had first seen him. She had been… well, bonkers.
Embry would've growled at that thought, but he really didn't want Joanna any more afraid than she already was.
'You gotta admit, she was a lot more playful when she saw me… even when she saw Seth and Leah.' Quil reminded, none too helpfully.
Embry levered himself up off the ground, lowering his head slightly, in hopes he wouldn't seem too large. Except for leaning back slightly, Joanna remained still. Still in form. Still shocked. Still frightened but curious.
"You're different." She murmured, her eyes transfixed on him. "Different from the other three… I wonder how many there could be." She blinked rapidly and smirked. "I'm a poet, and didn't know it." She rhymed.
'She is so weird.' Quil complained. Embry snorted softly at Quil's statement. So what was wrong with a little weird?
"I know." Joanna mumbled. "I'm not a good poet." She shrugged, her stare still on him. "It's… just a little rhyme Mama said when she'd make a rhyme by happy accident." Her grin fell slightly. "Kinda silly now that I think about it."
Embry had taken several steps forward, slowly drawing closer. The space between him and her fence was perhaps five feet now… it would be so easy to cross it.
'Probably a bad idea, Bro. You wanna do a gradual introduction. Otherwise she may bolt.' Quil was right… technically. Joanna was more prone to flight than anything, it seemed.
She released a steadying breath. "Courage…" she breathed to herself. "Courage is not… the absence of fear." She swallowed hard. "It's the ability to act in spite of fear." She released a shaky breath before slowly extending her arm forward, palm up. Almost as an afterthought, she took a small step forward, right in the open gateway. Her eyes left him for the first time, darting back and forth, as if she were afraid some unseen thing would snatch her away.
'I'd never let anyone hurt you.' Embry thought firmly.
She took another moment, closing her eyes as if to remind herself to be brave… and then she took that last step forward. Embry ducked his head and whined as her hand gently brushed into the fur along his face. There was no rain any more… not for him. He was filled with warmth and peace. He barely even noticed when his tongue lolled out, as he panted happily. Her caress was strange like this… he wondered if it would feel the same, if she were to touch him as a man.
'I'm gonna say, no. Not at all.' Quil joked, a bit of lewd humor seeping into his tone.
'Beat it, Quil.' Embry snapped.
'Yeah yeah. I was just about to, Oscar.' And then, Quil faded out of the pack bond, and Embry was left alone to enjoy this beautiful warmth. It was nothing like being turned on. Not at all. He had really been afraid that there might be… problems like that. Joanna was so timid, and though he had been no stallion, he certainly hadn't been a monk either. He would never dream of pressuring her but… he was a man, and she was a woman… and he thought she was beautiful in every way. Sometimes, the body got in the way of things between two hearts, and he didn't want her any more scared than she already was.
"You're awfully warm…" Joanna murmured, a soft smile on her face but sheer wonder in her eyes. "…for a spirit." She finished, making Embry's eyes popped open.
'Uhh…wha..?'
"My big brother knows an awful lot about mythology and legends… and how the world works." It was funny how she was saying it… almost as if she felt she needed to sooth him. "He told me about the people, blessed by the wolf spirit, who turned into wolves to protect their own." She said, almost dreamily.
Embry almost didn't believe his ears. It wasn't as if their legends were a secret really… but… a Spirit? Really? She thought they were spirits? Protecting the people… well, that much was true. In a way, he could almost see how it was more believable. The 'sprits of wolves still protect the people', verses 'local kids who shape shift into giant wolves'? Yes. Spirits definitely sounded more believable. It also sounded like something people could believe and then forget about. Many cultures talked about 'spirits' this and 'spirits' that, but no one really paid them any mind. They just went about their every-day lives, trying to forget about what they couldn't see.
She sighed. "I'm so glad I saw you." She had no idea how much he returned that sentiment. She smiled. "I almost wish I could invite you in… but I have a pet…" her expression scrunched up. "Well… not now, I don't, but I will… not that… I mean, do spirit wolves need to eat, even?" That was such a funny thing to think! She had no idea how much 'spirit wolves' could put away. "Anyway… Ricky will be here soon, and you'd probably scare the be-jeepers out of him… so…" she shivered. "Man, it's cold out here. I love the rain but…wow." He could feel her hand trembling, and though he was glad it wasn't from fear, he was shocked that she managed to stay out there in the cold rain this long. He dipped his head low, and softly shoved her back towards her own yard. She chuckled, giving him a final scratch along the underside of his jaw. "You're a good guardian." She said before shutting the gate and trotting back inside.
'That was… weird. But good.' He thought happily. Weird but Good seemed describe everything about her.
Joanna couldn't stop shaking. Partially giddy and partially frozen, she was all smiles when she went back into her house. She didn't mind the cold, and her encounter made her feel very daring. She hoped she could hold onto it. She peeled off her windbreaker. It took a bit more work to get her shoes and jeans off. The vibrant purple leggings she wore seemed to stand out from the charcoal gray, baggy shirt that hung over it. She chaffed her arms so that the tight sleeves would bunch up above her elbows. She suddenly remembered the wolf's warm brown eyes… it was so… beautiful. She wondered why she'd never noticed how beautiful wolves were before. Maybe because they were carnivores… Most of her animal art was small animals or herbivores. Several horses, cows, giraffes, hippos, along with ferrets, mice, a chinchilla or two, and tons and tons of rabbits. She enjoyed drawing rabbits… probably because she had such a good reference source. Now that she thought about it, she didn't even have any house cat art…which was odd since her best friend had been such a cat girl…She swallowed hard, pushing away the painful thoughts of her former best friend.
Her eyes fell on the wall in the living room with the swatch experiments on them. She had managed her bedroom just fine. The paint job in there was all finished. Thankfully. Her sofa was comfy, but she enjoyed sleeping in her own bed, and the paint fumes had made that impossible. On the other hand, the living room was a complete mess. Well…not really. Everything was in order, as it had been before, but she still hadn't decided what paint would suit best. She had gotten several paint samples from the hardware store (which was much smaller than she had imagined it would be), and she had painted a medium sized square of each color on the white wall. It wasn't that she didn't like what she had… She liked all the colors. In fact, that was the problem. But the dark dark teal had gone in her bedroom… and navy would be too drab. The plum was nice… but dark and somewhat stale… nothing like the raspberry. She was fairly sure the chartreuse was too bright, but … it was a nice color. She sighed. She just….wasn't sure.
Shaking her head, she bunched up her hair a bit before tying it back and moving to the shadow boxes and frames on the floor. She still had a lot of artwork to frame and hang. And anything that took her mind off of tomorrow's visit from her new "friend" was a good thing.
Embry tried to keep his enthusiasm down and reminded himself not to pound on her door. He'd actually gotten Jacob to drop him off as opposed to running here. He took a turn with each thing to stress about. Jacob, Quil, Seth, and Leah had taken an evil amount of joy in watching him stress over everything. He'd finally settled on a pair of jeans with a plaid shirt - green, black and a bit of pale yellow. Of course the biggest thing he had worried about was what time was appropriately 'ten-ish'. He didn't want to show up early, but he certainly didn't want to keep her waiting around. It was 10:08AM, and he was knocking on her door at last.
Surprisingly, the door opened almost instantly…and instantly he was a little worried. She was smiling brightly, practically bouncing in place, but something in her eyes was a little off. "Everything alright?" He asked.
She giggled, nodding. "Sure, sure. Come in, before it decides to rain on you." She said.
He nodded and entered, being careful not to track anything in. Once she shut the door, he couldn't help but ask. "Are you sure?"
"Um.. Yeah."
"Right.." He said slowly, smirking. "Alright. Spill it, sister." She chuckled nervously.
"Is it that obvious?"
He arched an eyebrow. "No but… You seem a little… keyed up."
She arched her shoulders up, folding in on herself slightly. "I um… I guess, at some point yesterday… it occurred to me that I invited a guy over to my house… and that we'd be alone."
"Ah." He said. Suddenly, now that she'd pointed it out, he was very aware that they were alone. He cleared his throat. "Why am I getting nervous?" he wondered out loud.
She chuckled. "It's silly." She said, the tension ebbing slightly. "It's just… I'm not that kind of girl, and I really don't want anyone thinking—" she stopped, her eyebrows pinching as she tried to figure out to explain.
"Oh, trust me. No one thinks that of you. You are so far out of my league." Embry said with a bright smile.
Joanna's eyebrows rose in obvious surprise. "… Are you sure that's not the other way around?"
"Well, my friends all know how much of a dork I am." He said with a soft chuckle.
"Um.. You wanna sit?" She asked, motioning towards the living room.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah." There was a few minutes in which they settled down. She took the chair which had a window behind it, and he sat just near the edge of the sofa. "So… this awkward for you too, right?"
"Very." She murmured with a nod.
"You said something about drawing."
"Right!" She said enthusiastically, almost as if she had forgotten about it entirely.
"I'd like to ask a bit about that."
"Oh.. Ok. What would you like to know?"
"Well, since we've established that you aren't 'that type' of girl, I can assume they aren't nudes." He wondered how long it'd take him to get her eyebrows to disappear into her hairline. It didn't take long at all.
"N-….no." She said, her eyes wide.
"Guess I got that bikini wax for nothing." He joked and she giggled, shaking her head.
"That's terrible."
"You're not the one who got the wax." He said with a smirk.
She chuckled, licking her lips and bitting her bottom lip. "Was there a serious question that you actually wanted to ask?"
"Well.. I dunno. I mean… you said you like to have reference for drawing, but I'm still not sure what it is… you want to reference… I mean…"
"Um. Well, your face of course. And your hands…" she paused, staring at the hands in question. "You have… very nice hands."
He held up his hands away from himself, eyeing them speculatively. "You're the artist…" he said skeptically.
She pursed her lips - he assumed in frustration at his skepticism - and reached for his nearest hand. "May I?" she asked. It was needless, but he nodded. She took his hand and he focused on making sure the heavy swallows he felt the need to make weren't thunderously loud. She put his finger together and smoothed both hands over either side of his hands. She separated his fingers, and rubbed hers in between his. She smiled softly. "Your hands are sinewy but not thick or pudgy. Your fingers are long but not knobby or boney. You have calluses..but… but your skin isn't abrasive." She'd managed to maintain eye contact up till this point. Then she smiled, somewhat self consciously, looking down. He was caught. Caught, snared and for all purposes entirely immobilized by the simple beauty of her lashed resting on her cheeks. "Your hands are very nice." When her eyes returned to his face, he was still stunned.
"Uh… uh-huh." He muttered dumbly.
"I've embarrassed you, haven't I?" She asked, biting the side of her lip before offering him a smiling.
He blinked, trying to get his bearings. "No. Uh…" he scratched his chin, trying to laugh it off. "Not really, it's just." He sighed. "It's been a while since a girl paid any attention to me… and I'm pretty sure the few who did weren't looking at my hands." He chuckled softly.
"Well…" her face blanked a bit as she looked him over. "you do have a pretty amazing torso as well." She admitted with a nod.
He looked at her, his face puckered somewhere between confusion and shock.
"I haven't seen your legs, but I'm pretty sure they're probably very nice too…." She stopped, her wide eyes darting to his, as if only realized what she was saying.
"If you want to examine my torso and legs, this could get a whole lot more awkward." He said with a smile. She laughed, and he was relieved. He wanted her to relax around him. He wanted her to realize he was making jokes for his benefit as much as hers. If she didn't see that, he would've had to find another way to put her at ease, and that would've taken a lot longer. Perhaps, it would've involved skills he wasn't sure he had. But she understood.
"Yeah, um. I don't think we'll worry about that."
"So, uh, you just wanna draw my face and hands?"
She nodded. "For now." She said, and he was happy to realize she seemed so much more relaxed than she'd been when he arrived. She reached into the empty space between her chair and the end table that spanned from his corner of the couch to her chair. She pulled out her large sketch pad along with a set of color pencils. "Eyes, Face and Hands are a good starting point. Eyes are very necessary."
"Right… so, I just…" he shrugged awkwardly. He really wasn't sure what to do, or what it was she needed. "I mean do I just look at you?" She nodded and stared intently. She cocked her head to the side slightly, and he found himself looking away. He remembered himself and blanked his expression as best he could before he looked back to her. She smiled and began sketching. Long minutes passed. Her sketching pen and an occasional drizzle were the only sounds to be heard.
"Um.. So?" he began. "Can I talk, or will that be a bad thing?"
She smiled softly. "You can. I have your face, so it won't really bother me."
"You have my face?" He asked somewhat blandly.
"Yes. Your blank face." She said, smirking as she showed him the sketch pad. It was his face…only entirely blank. His eyes and mouth weren't there… just his brow and his nose.
"Blank face." He said chuckling. "I get it."
"I like to start with the base and then move on. Now, I'll draw your eyes." She smiled as her eyes darted between him and her sketchpad. "You know… animals are much easier to draw. And women… but without someone to reference, men seem very difficult for me for some odd reason." She said, shaking her head in self disapproval.
Again, long minutes were passing. Embry was finding it easier to be content and simply stare at her as she worked. He had so many questions, but seeing her like this was almost better. She seemed so alive… energetic. He couldn't help but smile.
"So… have you always wanted to be an artist?"
"Not exactly." She murmured, still sketching. "When I was a girl I wanted to be a dolphin."
He chuckled. "I'm kinda glad that fell through."
She nodded. "Me too." She murmured. "But I've always been able to draw… I wasn't always as capable of portraying whatever it was I wanted to portray, though." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I suppose it's like anything… you have to practice in order to get better."
He nodded. "So… uh… what are you doing here anyway?" he asked. She stopped and looked up at him curiously. "I mean, La Push isn't exactly the artistic land of opportunity." He joked. "Unless you're working on being a starving artist or something."
She smiled and returned to her work. "No. I have an … 'Uncle'." She said, but then her face screwed up in uncertainty before her gaze returned to him. "Well, he's really Stan and Cassie's cousin. He owns an art gallery and a studio and he's looking into starting his own fashion line…" she said, releasing a hefty sigh. "He wants to see some of my artwork, and if he approves… he may partner with me on a casual clothing line."
Embry's jaw hung open slightly. "Joanna, that's amazing." He said shocked. She smiled but shrugged as if to downplay it. "No really! It is…" he said, beginning to think she was unaware of how incredible that was.
"It's nothing final yet… Just a big maybe." She said.
"Wait a minute…that still doesn't explain why you're here."
"Oh…" Joanna's expression became slightly shocked. "I guess I didn't explain… Uncle J's studio is based in Seattle." She informed. "I suppose I could've moved there but…" she shrugged. "I don't really like big cities that much. When Zach told me we had this house here, I just jumped at it."
"Huh." Embry murmured. "That makes sense. An artist needs quiet… and we have that here."
She smiled and nodded.
"Is this your first place?" he asked.
Her face paled, her expression wane and stricken. It took her a moment to rally. "No." She said softly. Many long minutes passed as he thought over her response to that. It was obviously not something she wanted to share. And it was also something very painful or very frightening to remember…. Or both.
"Joanna?" He said at last. She carefully peered over at him. "I won't force you to tell me, you know." He said, trying to be as comforting as possible. "I'd never… I'd never force you." He shook his head, not sure how to convey the feeling behind that. She gave him a tiny wounded smile and nodded, and he sighed in relief. "I mean…If I have to force anything out of you, it's just not as enjoyable. I'd rather you just…tell me on your own. Maybe one day you will."
She nodded slowly. "Maybe one day." She said her voice a low whisper. "But not today."
He nodded. "Trust me, you aren't the only one who has secrets they're not so sure they should share."
Her smile was a bit more playful this time. She cleared her throat before she spoke, and this time her tone was normal again."Oh? I thought you said this was a quiet town."
He had to stop for a moment, schooling his expression carefully. The part of him that wanted to be honest warring with the part of him that knew better. The part that knew to be careful. To soften the blow. You don't just tell someone about the underground war between vampires and werewolves that occurred in this oh-so-quiet town.
He shrugged. "We managed." He said at last.
She smirked. "I did hear about the rash of murders and disappearances that occurred a few years ago."
'Oh, please don't let her ask. Please, please, please.' If she asked, what could he say? What was the middle ground between softening the blow and telling the truth?
"Oh dear." He heard her say and met her eyes. "You look horribly pensive now…"
He tried to chuckle, but it sounded weak. "I uh… I don't exactly run with a bad crowd, you know?" she paused in her work, tilting her head slightly as if she didn't understand. "We kind of appointed ourselves as a gang… well, a good gang. We make sure nothing and no one that can hurt the people on the Rez are around." He nodded. "My mom though, she didn't really understand that. I kept trying to explain that we weren't doing anything bad…" he shook his head. This was true. All of it. It wasn't an answer to her unasked questions. But it was what he could give her. If he could muster it up. "Uh, she kept forbidding me to leave the house at night, and… I had an obligation to watch out for the guys…" he sighed. "Eventually, she got tired of me breaking the rules, and… we haven't spoken since then." Her expression had changed from confused to sympathetic. "I know that's not… I mean, we weren't really talking about that, but it.. It was during that time."
"She was worried about you." Joanna said.
Embry chuckled softly. "She could've trusted me." He shrugged.
"Trust had nothing to do with it." Joanna replied. "You're her son… Mothers always worry." She shook her head. "It had nothing to do with you joining a gang or a monastery or a garage band. It was that she was worried. She wanted you safe."
"I was safe." Embry said with a big smile. "You've seen the guys… safest place to be is surrounded by them!"
Joanna shrugged. "I imagine that didn't comfort her much." She said simply. "What about your father? What did he have to say about all this?"
"I don't have one." He said dismissively. Joanna stared at him blankly, blinking in confusion as she processed his answer. "That is… I've never had one around… and I know that she lied to me about who he was. And I sure as hell don't wanna know now, since I know…" he sighed before admitting the truth. " …it was one of my three friends dad's. I mean, it wouldn't be so bad, but at the time all three of them were hitched."
Joanna's mouth had slowly been getting wider and wider along with her eyes. "Boy…this town's just a dark soap opera full of surprises." She murmured.
He chuckled. "You have no idea."
Her eyes returned to her sketchpad, and for a while there was silence again. But then she sighed. "I don't remember my father." She said at last. Embry's gaze focused on her face more clearly now. "I know about him, but I don't remember him." She said with a tiny nod. "I know that at one point he was happy and good. And I know that he loved my mother very much." She let out a gusty sigh, her eyes never averting from her sketchpad. "And I know that when she died in a car accident, his world fell apart and he started drinking. He stopped caring about everything. I know that I learned to stay out of his way early on. And I know… I know that he hurt me when he drank too much."
The sound of fabric straining penetrated the stillness as Embry's grip on the sofa's arm tightened harshly.
"I know that eventually someone came to inquire why I wasn't coming to school anymore, and I know that they found me emaciated, dirty and bruised…." She nodded again. "I know all that, but I don't remember it." She heaved a breath, feeling like a solid weight was on her chest after going through all of that. "I do remember sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office… and I do remember Mama coming in. She was a tiny woman. So petite and pale. She had long platinum blond hair with sandy spots here and there… She always had this long blanket like shawl… and she wore it slung around her back with the edges of it dipped past the crooks of her elbows." Joanna didn't even realize that a smile was beginning to form on her face. "I remember sitting there, feeling so lost and alone and then she came in… she looked around, she spotted me and smiled. And she walked over and slung that shawl up and over her head and behind me. She wrapped me up in it and took me in her arms… and I felt safe and loved. Ever since then, I've been her's."
Joanna's eyes suddenly came up to Embry's, as if she only just remembered that he was there.
"I…uh.." She muttered. "I just… I figured it was only fair… with you talking about your own soap opera…"
Embry nodded. "The beginning's rough but the end sounds real nice."
Joanna swallowed past the heaviness in her throat. "I hope I'm far from my ending." She murmured with a tiny smile.
"Me too." Embry said.
Their time together seemed to be moving too fast for Embry's taste. She managed to draw his face and neck, and then she directed him into a few different expressions. He had no idea how she managed to draw so efficiently in such short time… or maybe he was more tolerant of posing because it was her. When she finished drawing his hands, she asked if he wanted some lunch… He couldn't turn her down for a couple of reasons. Namely, 1) he was always hungry; And, 2) he really didn't want to leave. She smiled and entered the kitchen, appearing more than happy to fix something for them. Finally he worked up the nerve to ask if he could see some of her other art. She relented the sketch pad she had been so attached to. Along with what she had already drawn of him, he managed to see the drawing she had started the day they were working on the fence.
The four of guys were featured along with her back yard and the normal scenery there and beyond. However, while the four men working on the fence and most of the scenery looked normal, one thing had been altered significantly. The simple gateway had been redone as an lattice archway, and through it a different sort of scenery was portrayed. While the woods and normal scenery may have been all around the archway, through it was what appeared to be a unicorn walking across still water; the only way you could tell it was water was from the ripples extending from the unicorn's hooves. It was very… interesting. Joanna had appeared bashful, saying that it was far from finished as she hadn't shaded or colored anything yet. Still Embry could see the idea behind the image clearly.
Then he turned to the next page and his eyebrows rose. "You uh… like wolves?" he asked as she muddled about the kitchen.
Joanna froze, realizing the image he was on. "Uh… well, I don't… dislike wolves." She said. When he nodded and continued to stare at the drawing she stuttered more of a reply. "I uh, I just… I don't have a lot of …wolf art. And, I uh, I guess I just… got struck with the need to have some in my collection."
He nodded, smiling at the drawing. It was him and her… she didn't know that of course. It was him in his wolf form laying on the soft grass with the wood behind him, and she was curled up against him… sleeping as he watched over her with caring eyes. In the top corner of the paper was the word 'Guardian', which he remembered her calling him yesterday. Suddenly he wanted this. He wanted it fully done, framed, the works.
"Well, this is… great." He said at last with a breathy laugh. "It's … really powerful." He continued with a nod. "If I had any money, I'd buy it from you."
She smiled. "It is sort of … special."
"Yeah." He said, and then realized that she had no idea why it would be special to him. "There are stories… you know. Passed down from the elders about the wolves and our people." He tried to explain and she nodded.
"Yeah… I think I may've heard a few." She said with a smile.
He smiled. "I think a wolf this size would be a little scarey though." He murmured, trying to hide his smirk.
"Yeah.." She chuckled faintly and ducked her head. "Soup's on." She said softly, almost as if she wanted to distract him but didn't want to pull him away from the book. "Just club sandwiches I'm afraid."
He set the sketch pad down and walked over to grab the plate she was handing him. "I ain't too proud." Embry said with a smile. She chuckled at that. "So uh…" he began after he swallowed his first bite. "I was wondering… I mean, maybe this is kind of rushing things but… You know, we have bar-b-ques and get-togethers all the time… You kinda crashed one when we met." He said with a sheepish smile.
She nodded a similar shy smile playing about her lips.
"Well… the reason I'm mentioning it is… we have 'em every few weeks or so and… I guess .. I mean, if you weren't doing anything… I was wondering if you'd like to go?"
She blinked. "Oh." There was a beat of silence as she looked down at her plate. "Oh."
"Oh?" Embry asked softly.
"I'm, uh… I'm really not good with groups… or people in general." She said with a depreciating laugh.
Embry nodded. "I kinda noticed." He said with a little chuckle. "But… I mean we won't bite." His smile got bigger. "And you can always leave. I'd walk you home…"
She nodded, her eyes still averted. "This is… hard to explain."
"OK… I'm listening." He replied carefully.
"I probably should go… It would probably help. But… going is hard." She sighed. "I uh… I have this tic.."
"Tic?"
"Yeah…" she smiled again, as if it were funny. As if making it funny would somehow make it better. "Doctors call it severe social anxiety disorder and borderline agoraphobia."
"Huh… I take it that's something a pill won't help you with?"
She chuckled, so glad that he could listen so openly. There was no judgment in his voice and it made talking to him so much easier. "Yeah.. Well, I can take a pill but it'd knock me on my ass for a while." She shook her head. "Not really good for parties."
"I imagine… what do all those big words mean exactly?"
She paused and took a sip of her sprite. "People scare me. Leaving my house scares me."
"…You left your house the other day to walk to the beach.."
"Yes… and it was something I had to put a lot of effort into. I didn't just decide to go, I had to really work myself up to doing it… even then… it felt like a chore." She was grateful that he seemed content to talk between bites of food. In the time it took him or her to take a bite and chew, the other asked a question or said something… and chewing and swallowing allowed for time to think between answers. "And I'm sure you realized that my reaction to meeting you guys wasn't exactly normal."
He nodded. "We freaked you out… I thought maybe it was jut because you were a girl, alone and we had surprised you…" he thought for a moment before asking. "Wait… you grew up in a big foster home with tons of siblings…"
"Uh… well yeah… It sort of developed after that…"
"After that? Like, when you moved into your first house?" He asked carefully, not sure if referencing such a sore spot was a good idea. Her eyes snapped up to his and began to water. No… not water. Her gaze had gone glassy, and she blinked rapidly to avoid tearing up. "It's bad isn't it? The thing you can't talk about?" she nodded vigorously, still unable to speak. She crammed a large bite of sandwich into her mouth just to have something else to focus on. Once she'd chewed and swallowed he asked. "Do you need me to kill somebody?"
She actually chuckled briefly, a bit shocked by the offer. But the she shook her head. "No. Stan and Ben took care of it…" she continued before he could ask who Ben was or how they'd taken care of it. "But the stress and… everything. It lead to me never wanting to leave my apartment and being extremely paranoid."
"I… I mean… how can you stand me being here?" he asked finally.
She smiled. "It was an effort at first… especially before…" she sighed. "But I think with Stan being here with you before…and you were here all day helping out… and today has been…" she paused her smile getting wider. "It's been fun. I mean.. really fun." She sighed and shrugged. "Besides… Stan did put in a good word for you…"
"He did?" Embry asked, somewhat shocked. Stan had made it very clear that he didn't want Embry hurting his sister… He had assumed that Joanna's very large brother would want them to take things pretty slow…. Especially considering all he'd learned about her today. He just really didn't expect Stan to approve of him at this point.
"Yes." Joanna said with a chuckle, amused at Embry's gobsmacked expression.
"Huh." Embry said, taking a thoughtful moment to chew on another bite. "So… so what you're saying is, you should go because it'll be good for you to get out of the house and meet new people… but you don't really want to go?"
Joanna's eyes slide away, focusing on some speck on the wall as she thought that over. "Yes." She said at last with a nod. "That about sums it up."
"So… where does that leave us?" Embry said with a smile.
Joanna sighed. "When is this gathering?"
He shrugged. "Probably next weekend."
She nodded, her eyes down as she thought it over. "I suppose… if you come and get me." She said. "I would be more likely to go."
"I will come and get you." He said then paused. "Did that sound too creepy?"
She chuckled. "No."
"Good."
"From what I remember of my walk to the beach, there were quite a few people at your last gathering…" She murmured, and he could tell there was a question hidden in that statement.
"Well yeah… the guys, their significant others, a few parents and kids…" he saw her nodding, but he could see a tension building around her eyes. "It's not quite like the gathering run by the elders of course." He said off hand.
"…Run by the elders?" she asked, the tenseness replaced by curiosity.
He had hoped that would peek her interest. "Yeah… those are always a bit more low-key." He said with a nod. "Jake's dad, Billy? He usually runs the show… we all get together and sit around this big fire, and he tells us the legends of our people." He said with a nod. "It's really… amazing, actually." He could see the wistfulness flickering through her eyes, the outright longing. "You know… maybe I could introduce you, and score you a seat at one of our story sessions."
She took a deep breath and it came out in a glitchy sob. "That would-I would- Yes. Please."
He laughed, happy to see her looking so excited at the prospect of a gathering. "You like old stories?"
"Are you kidding?" She said with a bright smile. "Most of my artwork is based around old stories, Aesop's fables, and little fairy tales Mama would always tell us. I love the idea of expanding creativity by listening to stories that have come from years of culture."
He smiled almost wickedly. "Well then I will definitely have to introduce you to Billy at the party." Now that she definitely had something to gain by going, she would absolutely be going. People tended to do things when there was some personal gain in it for them. And since she was his imprint, it would be nothing to convince Billy that she should come and hear their legends.
She eyed him, a grin working across her face. "Hm… charm, wit, and brains… You're so much more than just another pretty face." She said, and he ducked his head so that he wouldn't loose the bite of sandwich he'd just taken. Still, his body shook from the laughter.
It was late in the afternoon when Embry finally left Joanna's house. He had talked more about the Quileute gatherings, and about helping her paint her living room. Finally, he'd managed to work up the nerve to ask for her phone number, which he was very thankful to note, she gave him without a second thought. He had promised to call her about maybe introducing her to a few other people in the group before the big gathering. The idea was that if she met a few people before hand, she wouldn't behave like 'an utter spaz' during the party (her words, not his).
As he walked through the forest, he couldn't help but think that life was looking up. Joanna didn't seem terrified of him anymore. In fact she seemed quite receptive to having him around more often. She wanted to work past her problems (even if she couldn't share everything in her past), and it seemed that he was who she was willing to work with. Hell, even the sky had let up. The pale gray clouds had stopped shedding their rain. Life was good.
And then a shiver raced up his spine and arms, making the hair on his body stand on end. He stood still and just listened, his eyes darting from tree to tree. He listened to the wood around him go utterly still. What had triggered this? He couldn't spot anything...
A gusty woosh followed by a soft thud to his left was all the warning he had. He turned just slightly, to see a man with long black hair slide from his left to just in front of him. The man was tall and thin, with pale skin... and very bright red eyes. He grinned at Embry as if he knew all secrets.
"Tag." He spat. "You're it." and then he leapt back into the darkness of the wood.
And the chase was on.
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