Oh, yeah, everything is unbeta'd. All my mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: Kripke owns all Supernatural characters. I'm only borrowing them.

Pairing: Dean/Castiel - very graphic. This is my first attempt at something like this because this muse wouldn't leave me alone. Please let me know what you think, constructively.

Overall Warnings: Rated M for swearing, graphic sexual content with S and M undertones, implied forced sexual torture and other adult subject matter.

Mainly swearing in this chapter.

Chapter 9 – Mind Astray

Sam sighed heavily at the figure outside the window. His brother sat on the trunk of the Impala, facing away from their room. His shoulders slumped under the weight of something Sam didn't know. His brother appeared totally defeated and it frustrated him to no end.

Sam pressed a speed dial button on his phone and waited for the gruff answer, "Yeah?"

"Bobby, it's Sam," Sam greeted redundantly.

"Of course, it is, you idjit," Bobby snarked lightly before he got down to business. "How is he?"

"Hard to say," Sam hesitated briefly. "He's definitely not better and I don't know if he could get any worse."

"Sleep?"

"Not since we left our last job four days ago, to my knowledge, and still no drinking. I never actually thought I would ever find something wrong with that."

"Yeah, know the feeling," Bobby agreed reluctantly. "Food?"

"Less than normal but not enough to be concerned with. But, I found some blood in the bathroom and it wasn't mine," Sam reported lightly.

"Maybe he cut himself shaving, Sam," Bobby cautioned reasonably.

"No," Sam argued. "There are no visible cuts anywhere I can see."

"Well," Bobby hesitated awkwardly before plunging forward quickly. "Maybe he shaves somewhere where you can see."

"No way. Oh, and totally gross, Bobby," Sam complained primly.

Bobby huffed wearily, "Fine. Obviously you aren't going to let this go so suck it up and say a prayer. Let me know what happens." Bobby hung up then insulted to the dusty air around him, "Idgits." He tried to hide his concern but he couldn't stop remembering how haunted Dean had looked before he'd left on their previous hunt which was quickly followed by their current hunt.

Sam sighed again as he hung up then he relented with an irritated huff. "Gabriel," he prayed softly, "I really need your help with Dean right now so if you're not too busy or something . . ."

"Aw, come on," Gabriel complained with a loud shout right in Sam's ear. "I know you missed me, big boy, but I was finally wearing Kali down. Again. I'd actually made it to first, first base." Gabriel leaned back and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Sam rolled his eyes slightly before he snapped irritably, "Are you done now?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes in response and bitched more sarcastically, "Oh, that's right. I forgot. It's always all about you Winchesters. Angels are only around to perch on your, oh, so muscular shoulders. We have nothing better to do but be at your beck and call. Indentured servants get more gratitude than you . . ."

"Gabriel," Sam snapped tightly.

"Okay, okay, fine," Gabriel placated playfully. "I was supposed to check in with you muttonheads anyway. What is it, Thursday?"

"Friday," Sam growled impatiently.

"Really?" Gabriel clarified with disbelief. Sam gave a tight nod and Gabriel continued, "Where does the time go? Okay, Sasquatch, what's the emergency? Where's Deano?"

Sam stabbed a finger to point outside the window which Gabriel walked up to and looked out. Dean jumped off the trunk and slammed into the Impala before peeling out of the parking lot. Sam cursed and pulled out his phone again. He pressed speed dial through the speaker portion of the phone and waited.

"What, Sam?" Dean snapped with obnoxious ire into his cell phone. "I'm going for a drive. No need to panic. Okay? I'll call you on the way back. Now go finish your nap, you freakin' mother hen. Just leave me alone for two freakin' minutes, Samantha." Dean hung up the phone angrily.

Gabriel glanced up at Sam. Sam nodded then confirmed verbally, "That's the problem."

"Okay," Gabriel drawled out hesitantly then clarified, "I'm going to need a little more detail than that."

"Look, since the last time we saw you, over four weeks ago, Dean's been having some pretty nasty nightmares. Like every night. He woke us up screaming more that once a week. Then he tried to stop sleeping. I don't think he's slept more than an hour this week. He's haunted, like seriously haunted, by something."

"Well, he did go to Hell," Gabriel pointed out with redundant seriousness.

"Yeah, but he dealt with that," Sam stated dismissively until Gabriel gave him a stern stare. "Didn't he?"

"Did you?" Gabriel taunted then continued when Sam started to argue. "Yeah, yeah, yours is the more recent experience, blah, blah, blah . . . but I modified it to match your brother's. So how are those memories, Sam? And exactly how did your brother deal with them when he first came back?"

"Well," Sam stalled as he searched his memory. "I know he drank a lot, like, really, a lot. Like constantly, night and day. Whenever he breathed."

"Okay, okay, got the picture. So is he now?" Gabriel prodded clinically.

"No," Sam frowned. "Which is part of the reason I don't know what this is?"

"What else did he do back then?" Gabriel prodded relentlessly.

"Um, I . . . uh, I don't know. He just got better," Sam finished off quickly.

Gabriel smirked sadly and translated, "Which means you weren't around enough to know how he dealt with it, or if he ever did." Sam started to argue but Gabriel cut him off with another question. "Did he give you any pointers on how to deal with your memories?"

"Pain," Sam admitted readily. Gabriel arched an eyebrow in question so Sam elaborated, "He said he could always tell what was real and what wasn't by whether or not he could actually feel the pain and not just the memory of it." Sam swallowed thickly before adding, "And I found blood in the bathroom this morning that wasn't mine. I couldn't see any cuts on him. Oh, crap, tell me he isn't cutting."

Gabriel arched an eyebrow but said nothing to reassure Sam. He only prompted quietly, "Anything else?"

"Yeah, he keeps making random comments about hunts that never took place," Sam informed him quietly.

Gabriel gave him a look of confusion before commanding, "Come again."

"Like the day he woke up at Bobby's and we went out to the bar, remember?" Sam waited for a nod before continuing, "Well, he had stormed out of the house earlier because we were asking him how he felt and he said it was the same as eating a turducken sandwich at Biggersons during the Jersey Devil hunt. But he's never had that sandwich and we've never hunted the Jersey Devil. We asked him if he had any other memories like that and he turned so pale that we thought he was going to pass out. Then he was up and charging out of the house, like something awful was after him that he needed to escape. That's the night that the nightmares started."

"A bit coincidental, huh?"

"Ya think," Sam commented sarcastically.

"So where do you think big brother has run to now?"

"Well, normally, I would say a bar but he's not drinking so I have no . . . oh, crap," Sam trailed off with dread.

"What?"

"Our hunt," Sam explained quickly. "We are hunting a water nymph that's been luring men into the local lake to drown them. It got a hold of me yesterday. I got enchanted or something because the next thing I remember is Dean leaning over me, crying. He kept saying, 'not you, too. Can't lose you, too.' He was totally freaked and couldn't even look at the lake when we pulled out. Like really couldn't look at it."

"So what? You think he went back there alone," Gabriel concluded.

"There's a bar off the lake there with some really rough clientele," Sam started hesitantly but Gabriel caught on quickly enough.

Gabriel sighed and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Let's go."

They appeared in the trees a few yards from the parking lot. Sam quickly spotted the Impala toward the back, carefully parked. He quickly made his way across the lot while Gabriel not far behind.

By the time they reached the steps, they could hear the sounds of the brawl inside. Several scared patrons rushing past them on their way out were another definite indication. They scooted past them and pushed open the door to hear Dean yell angrily, "Come on, you big pussies."

Sam walked inside and stopped an instant to take stock of the situation. He quickly found Dean in the back of the bar, the part that hung out over the water, naturally. He was surrounded by six of the biggest bikers that he'd ever seen. Everyone could tell that they knew their way around a street fight.

"Shit," Sam cursed softly, knowing none of them were going to come out of this unscathed unless Gabriel used some angel mojo.

"Ditto," Gabriel huffed then cursed as the insane Winchester charged the nearest man. Sam rushed forward, even though he knew he couldn't stop the fight or Dean from getting hurt. Gabriel quickly assessed his options but half of him wanted to allow Dean his pound of flesh since it might make the stubborn ass more reasonable after this.

Dean went down quick and hard with three of the men working him over. Sam could only distract two of them while the last one watched Gabriel suspiciously. Gabriel shrugged and slowly sauntered down the steps, questioningly loudly, "Can't we all just get along?"

"Hell, no," One of the three on Dean answered angrily. He was obviously the leader. "This pansy ass, pretty boy tried to come on to my girl, the bastard," he explained then kicked Dean hard in his stomach.

No one really could say what exactly happened next but there was an eerie "crack" sound quickly followed by a crash. Everyone near Dean flew back about three feet while Gabriel and his opponent were merely knocked off of their feet. As they all slowly sat up groggily, Sam snarled, "What the hell was that?"

Gabriel stood first and agreed softly, "Good question." Gabriel couldn't find Dean at first glance so he quickly put all the bikers to sleep while he demanded hotly, "Where's Dean?"

"He was right there," Sam pointed then both of them noticed the man sized hole in the lower outside wall of the bar. "Oh, no, no, no, no." Sam ran to the hole and looked down. He didn't see anything but peaceful, undisturbed lake water.

"Sam?" Gabriel wondered what was going on that had Sam panicked so badly. "Little help here."

Sam turned and reminded Gabriel abruptly, "Water nymph."

"Oh, crap," Gabriel sighed then snapped and disappeared.

Sam cursed and quickly made his way out of the bar then down to the water. He hated waiting but he didn't know what else to do. He paced up and down the bank.

Five minutes later, he saw a bright light flash under the water in the middle of the lake then felt someone standing next to him. He turned startled and spotted Gabriel beside him. Gabriel smiled cockily and taunted with amusement, "Only you would enjoy moonlit walks by a lake. Can we hold hands like real lovers, Sammy baby? Please be gentle with me. I don't handle rejection well."

"Oh, shut up, wise ass. Where the hell is Dean?" Sam snapped aggressively.

"Oh, Sammy, I get all tingly when you explode with passion like that." Sam growled irritably and Gabriel shuddered delicately before laughing, "Relax, Giagantor. He's in the back seat of his baby under a blanket. Shall we?"

Sam glowered but quickly made his way to the Impala where he opened the driver's door then looked in the back seat at Dean. Dean had a black right eye and a cut on his forehead that was sluggishly bleeding. Those were the only visible signs that Sam could check right now.

Sam climbed into the driver's seat while Gabriel climbed into the passenger side. Sam questioned, "Is he alright?"

"He's passed out, unconscious. He's got some cuts and bruises but nothing that won't heal naturally. A couple of ribs are fractured and he has a definite concussion. Not too shabby for a man who really wanted to feel some pain," Gabriel recited analytically.

"Why didn't you heal him?"

"What part of 'a man who really wanted to feel some pain' did you not understand? He wanted this, Sam. If I heal him, he'll just try this again and may not end up with so favorable an outcome. I did dry him off, though," Gabriel counseled wisely. "Now, the nymph is toast so want me to drop you both at Bobby's that way both of you can gang up on him?"

Sam thought for a moment before he acknowledged, "Actually that might be a good idea. I didn't think he was this far gone but we still have some things at the motel."

"Pffft," Gabriel dismissed and requested. "I'll take care of it. Just keep Tweedle Dumber under control."

Sam shut his eyes and, when he opened them, they were back in Bobby's Salvage Yard but Gabriel was gone. Sam sighed heavily then called Bobby to come out and give him a hand with Dean. Bobby grumbled but they managed to get Dean upstairs without waking him up.

They stripped him of his boots and jacket but left the rest of his clothes on. Once that was done, they both settled down in their own beds, intent on getting some rest. Sam planned on waking up in an hour to wake Dean up but his alarm didn't sound, leaving them all to get a good night's sleep, theoretically.

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