Chapter Four

Ron Weasley had long been heralded as a hero of the Second War. In that war he had faced trials and tribulations that many people now could barely fathom. He had faced the greatest hardships of his life when he was only a teenager.

Or so he thought.

Because what it all came down to was this: Ron Weasley had seen and experienced much in his life, but nothing could have ever prepared him for what his niece had just suggested.

Ron Weasley's grandchild would not be named Draco Malfoy, Jr.

The illusion of perfection in the post-war wizarding world had finally disappeared.

Also, Ron thought it was entirely possible that he might currently be going into a state of shock. Clearly his nieces and nephews didn't care about his precarious mental state, however, because they continued on with their conversation. And, with each word, Ron's desperation about the entire situation seemed to grow.

"You are a genius, Lucy," Fred proclaimed, while Molly said, "You're just…brilliant."

"How could we not have thought of that before?" James demanded melodramatically.

"It really is the perfect name," Louis agreed.

"I can hardly even see the point of continuing," Lily declared. "I mean, I know we already decided that Rose and Scorpius will want something unique, but naming their baby Draco Malfoy, Jr. would be the most adorable thing in the world."

"And Scorpius is pretty close with his dad," Albus said thoughtfully, "So naming his firstborn son after him wouldn't be too much of a stretch."

"Well you do know Scorpius the best," Teddy said decisively, "So I guess that means I agree with the rest of you. Draco it is."

Forget going into shock; Ron Weasley wanted nothing more than to burst into tears at this point. There was clearly something wrong with his children's generation.

"I don't know…" Lucy said uneasily. And Ron instantly perked up at this. Was someone finally going to exhibit some common sense?

She continued, "There are still so many names left. For all we know, they picked one that's farther on in the list because they knew we would be side-tracked by the utter perfection of the name Draco. We should keep going. The next name is Equuleus."

Ron had never been more disappointed in someone in his entire life as he was in Lucy at this current moment. And while he was taking the time to think about it, who, in the name of sanity, had given her that blasted book? If he ever found out, Ron was quite sure he would have to abuse his power as an Auror and do something quite illegal to that person.

"Personally," Victoire said, "I'm glad we're continuing; think of the never ending tragedy our lives would have become if we hadn't heard that name."

"It is a rather nice name," Roxanne agreed. "And what comes after it?"

"Eridanus," Lucy replied, "Which is Ancient Greek for 'river.'"

"Personally," Dominique said airily, mimicking her sister's earlier tone, "I prefer ponds to rivers."

Victoire responded by sticking her tongue out at the younger woman.

"Teddy, control your wife," Dominique commanded.

"Why don't you just continue, Lucy?" Teddy suggested. "We'll just ignore those two for now."

"The next one is Fornax," Lucy stated, "Or, in the original Latin, furnace."

"I'm so jealous of Rosie," Lily said with a shake of her head. "Since she married into the Black family she has so many wonderful options for baby names. People would just thing I'm crazy for naming my child after the Latin word for furnace, but she can get away with it."

Ron, for the record, begged to differ.

"Hmm…" Lucy said thoughtfully, studying her book, "Next is Gemini, a zodiac. So after that is…Grus."

"Another superb option," Hugo proclaimed. "Lily is right: Rose is lucky to have so many excellent names to choose from."

"The next one is kind of lame, though," Lucy said decisively. "Hercules. Rather plain, don't you think? It's nothing compared to the one after it: Horologium."

"I think any child would be lucky to have that for a name," James stated. "In fact, if Rosie and Scorpius don't name the baby that, I may steal it myself when Em and I finally get around to having kids."

At this, Ron couldn't help but contemplate that, for the first time, there was an upside to this conversation. If James stayed true to his word, then Harry could share in Ron's agony. Whoever said Ron Weasley didn't have a positive outlook on life?

"Yes, well, moving on," Lucy said swiftly as the cousins all gave James strange looks, "Next is Hydra, followed closely by Hydrus."

"Maybe she's having twins," Louis said helpfully. "Those would be good names to pick, then."

"And if not, after that is Indus," Lucy continued. "And then after that is Lacerta."

"That's fun," Molly said decisively. "Fun is good."

"Yes it is," Lucy agreed, "Especially because Leo and Leo Minor come after it."

"And that's boring," Molly stated.

"We're going to be pros at this whole baby-naming thing by the time we're through with all of this," Fred said thoughtfully. "Maybe we should start a business of it."

"A business of naming other people's children?" Roxanne questioned her brother dubiously. "Really?"

"Well I'm going to have to do something to occupy my time when I retire from Quidditch," Fred said defensively. "I mean, obviously dad wants the business to stay in the family, but do you honestly think he's going to trust me with it? You're the favorite, anyway."

"You're just jealous," Roxanne retorted.

"Calm down, kids," Teddy said before Fred could say anything back. "Why don't you just keep going, Lu?"

"An excellent suggestion," Lucy stated. "Next we have Lepus."

"Hmm…it kind of reminds me of 'leper,'" Hugo said slowly, "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Conflicted, obviously," Lily informed him. "Carry on, Lucy."

"Thanks for the permission, Lily," Lucy said dryly, but she resumed reading off names all the same. "Next is Libra, a zodiac, so after that is Lupus, which is practically Lupin, so we'll just keep going…" she trailed off as she turned the page. "And then there's Lynx and Lyra."

"Two wonderful suggestions," Albus declared.

"Lyra is very pretty," Victoire agreed.

"Next is Mensa," Lucy said. "Altogether a rather dull choice considering Microscopium comes after it."

"Beautiful!" James proclaimed. "That one's definitely a keeper."

"Perhaps for your second born?" Albus suggested sarcastically.

"Well, I could argue that if it's good enough for Rosie and Scorpius then its good enough for me," James began, "But of course I couldn't pick the names of both of our first two children; obviously Emma needs to have a say in the matter."

Ron had to fight the urge to interrupt at this point. He felt it was rather hypocritical of James to say that he couldn't pick the names of his own future children when he was currently in the middle of a discussion about the possible name of a child that wasn't even his.

"Oh, of course," Albus agreed, and James chose to again ignore his sarcastic tone in favor of returning his attention to Lucy.

"After that is Monoceros," She said, "Which is Latin for unicorn."

"I think that's a pretty fitting name," Hugo said, "Rose has always liked unicorns."

As his son spoke, Ron promptly decided that he had always hated unicorns. And no, it wasn't because the Latin version could possibly become his first grandchild's name. Obviously Ron's deep hatred for unicorns went all the way back to his first year at Hogwarts, when there was that unfortunate business with Professor Quirrell killing them and drinking their blood. And yes, he was conveniently forgetting the fact that he had not in fact been present for those events, as he had been cooped up in the hospital wing with an infected scratch from Norbert(a) at the time and hadn't been with Harry and Hermione to be given the detention that had brought Harry face-to-face (in a manner of speaking) with You-Know-Who for the first time since he was a baby.

"Then she'll probably choose that name over Musca," Lucy said decisively, bringing Ron's attention back to his nieces' and nephews' conversation, "Because that's Latin for 'a fly.'"

"I'm so glad we have you around, Lucy," Lily said, "Can you imagine what boring names we'd be thinking of right now without you and your book?"

"Well, seeing as it's Scorpius and Rose, I think we'd probably be thinking up names to go along with theirs," James said thoughtfully. "So it would have to be something dreadful like Petunia."

"I don't know how dreadful that is," Lucy said thoughtfully, "The next one is Norma. That's rather bland, don't you think?"

"I, for one, happen to think that all constellation names are perfectly wonderful," Fred said airily. "Even if they are plain and old-fashioned like that."

Roxanne rolled her eyes at her brother, "Just keep going Lucy. At this rate, the baby will be born and have celebrated its fifth birthday by the time we get through all of these names."

"But what if we like drawing this out as long as possible?" James questioned.

"Well, then you're crazy," Roxanne informed him.

James merely grinned broadly at her.

"We have been at this for a while," Teddy conceded, glancing at his watch. "I, for one, could use a break. Anyone want to go to the tearoom with me for a bit?"

"I think I'll join you, Mr. Lupin," Victoire said. She held out her hand, and he pulled her to her feet. "And maybe I'll check in on Andromeda…John and Dora seemed particularly wild today when we dropped them off…"

"You know, a snack does sound good right about now," James admitted. "Plus, the hospital shop is on the same level as the tearoom. And, do you know, for all the times I've been here, I've never once visited the shop, and that's the best part of the whole place!"

"That's probably because you're usually unconscious or seriously injured in some other way whenever you come to the hospital," Lily informed her brother pointedly. Then, in a sweeter voice, "But if you promise to buy me something, then I'll come with you."

"I say we all just go," Fred said, standing up now as well. "And we can leave all of the grown-ups to their peaceful thoughts, without us to disturb them."

"Since when were you ever so thoughtful?" Molly questioned Fred as she followed him out of the waiting room.

"Since right now," Dominique said from behind her.

However, as thoughtful as Fred appeared to be acting, Ron's thoughts were far from peaceful as his various nieces and nephews trooped out of the room. He had a lot to think about, and most of it was not good.

For starters, he was still stuck on the fact that a majority of the cousins seemed to think that Rose and Scorpius would name their first child after Ron's mortal enemy. That was just unacceptable. No grandchild of Ron Weasley's would be named Draco Malfoy. Of that he was absolutely certain. He would most definitely not stand for any of that nonsense.

But if, by some miracle, Rose and Scorpius didn't name their child Draco, there were still countless other awful names for them to choose.

Altogether this was just not turning out to be Ron's day. Not at all.