Chapter Seven
"We're nearly out of constellations," Lucy announced, interrupting her cousins as they further debated the pros and cons (and they were mostly pros, much to Ron's chagrin) of the baby being named Scorpius Jr. "And, in my opinion, there's quite a bit of potential in some of these last few."
"Well, by all means, do share," Fred stated, waving his hand to indicate that she should continue.
"After Scorpius is Sculpior," said Lucy.
"In the off chance that the baby decides to completely rebel against Rose and Scorpius, and decides to become evil," Molly said thoughtfully, "I think Sculpior would be a good villain name."
"Molding children into evil villains is my specialty," James offered, "Right after brainwashing them into believing that Gryffindor is the greatest house ever…Which, I mean, isn't that much of a stretch, as I'm sure you all know."
"Don't speak, Al," Teddy advised when Albus opened his mouth to retort. "Please continue, Lu."
Lucy grimaced as she spoke, "Scutum."
"I don't know what that face was for," Dominique said airily, "Personally, I think that sounds like a fine name for the next Malfoy heir."
Ron wasn't quite sure whose side he was on for that one. On the one hand, it was a truly appalling name possibility for his grandchild. However, that child would always (unfortunately) be associated with the Malfoy family first and foremost, due to his dear Rosie's unfortunate choice of a husband—and yes, Ron had to rationalize to himself at this, he really was quite over the fact that Rose had married Scorpius. He was actually pretty much alright, in Ron's opinion, but his father was still Draco Malfoy. And no matter how much his former year mate had changed, Ron was determined to never let petty school rivalries die.
So perhaps a child named 'Scutum' would be a lovely addition to the Malfoy line. Merlin only knew that his nieces and nephews had come up with plenty of other options that were far worse already.
"And next is Serpens," Lucy was continuing again.
"A perfectly brilliant name for a future Slytherin!" Albus declared.
"You hold, I hit?" James looked questioningly at Fred, who nodded eagerly.
"I'll tell mum!" Albus threatened immediately, causing James, who hadn't so much as moved a muscle in his younger brother's direction, to roll his eyes.
"Good Merlin, we aren't children anymore, Al," James stated. "It's just the basic principal of things, you know? Especially because…well, clearly it could be a good name for Rosie's kid."
It was official, Ron thought. Everyone had finally lost their minds. James thought it was perfectly alright for his cousin to give her child such an awfully-Slytherin name. And he, himself, was starting to warm up to the idea, as long as it would make Draco Malfoy look bad. What was this world coming to? This whole being in labor process was just taking far too long for Ron's liking…
"Truer words were never spoken," Hugo intoned.
"Well I'm glad you all can agree on that one," Lucy began, "Because the next name is Sextans."
"That poor child will be teased mercilessly," Teddy stated.
"Eh…he'll deserve it if he's in Slytherin," Louis said with a shrug.
"And if he is actually a she?" Dominique challenged her brother. "And not in Slytherin?"
"Then Uncle George will take care of things," Louis replied, as if this was obvious.
"You make my dad sound like a mob boss or something," Fred commented. Then he shrugged as well, "He could probably pull it off; and he'd be a good one, too. After all, there's no need to kill the underlings when you can prank them."
"I am afraid for your future children," Roxanne informed her brother. "Deeply afraid."
"I'd be more concerned for Rose's children, if I was you," Lucy commented, her gaze on the book before her. "Because the next name is Taurus, which isn't altogether that bad, I guess, but it's a Zodiac and since I'd like to avoid having that little debate again, we'll just move right along to the next name after that, which is Telescopium. Could you just imagine what a child would have to go through with a name like that?"
"And breathe," Albus advised his cousin, who had said all of that without pausing for a single breath. "Besides, that's a name with character. And I'm pretty sure I'd know; I'm the one whose parents thought it would be a brilliant idea to name their child Albus Severus."
"I think the name after that is even better, though," Molly announced, causing Lucy to realize that her sister had managed to snatch the book out of her hands whilst she was otherwise occupied with glaring at Al. "Triangulum."
"Yes, it's perfectly lovely," Lucy said sarcastically, grabbing her book back. "Especially considering that the constellation after it is Triangulum-Australe."
"Hello?" Lily said pointedly. "Twin names!"
"How many sets of twins are they going to have?" Teddy demanded, and Ron easily found himself in agreement with the younger man.
"I think they should just have eighty-eight children, in general," Dominique said decisively. "That way they won't need to think too much about what to name each of their children. There will be one constellation for each of them."
Maybe this was all just a bad dream? Ron couldn't help but muse to himself. What other explanation could there be for having to endure all of this insanity from his nieces and nephews? After all, although they had jokingly referred to the unborn baby as Scorpius, Jr. on occasion, none of them had appeared to show very much interest in what the baby would actually be called until today, when they were all stuck in this waiting room together. He couldn't help but get suspicious. And clearly this had to be a dream, because they were almost done going through all of the names and he had only just started to think there was something fishy going on with all of it. Sweet Merlin, Ron really hoped he was going to wake up soon.
"That probably would solve a few problems," Lucy admitted. "Because the next name is Tucana, which means Toucan."
"And who doesn't want a child who is named after a tropical bird?" James jumped in.
"I'd be willing to bet that your wife doesn't," Lily informed her older brother.
"Minor details," James said with a wave of his hand. "We aren't talking about me and Emma, here. This is all about Rose and Scorpius and the delightful name they're going to give to their little bundle of joy."
"If it ever decides to put in an appearance, you mean," Roxanne muttered.
"Speaking of putting in an appearance," Teddy said thoughtfully, looking at the group as a whole suddenly. "Where's Vic? She never came back from flooing my Grandmother to check up on Dora and John."
"I'm sure she's fine," Dominique reassured her brother-in-law. "She's probably just telling Andromeda for the thousandth time how, exactly, the triangles need to be when she cuts up John's sandwich, as opposed to the squares Dora gets."
"She always was a bit insane like that," Louis agreed with his sister easily. "Don't worry, Teddy, she'll show up again eventually. And even if she doesn't, you know what would take your mind off of things? If Lucy kept reading off names. We really must be practically done by now."
"Nearly there," Lucy commented, scanning the page she was currently on before flipping to the next one and reading from the top, "Ursa Major," Then a frown, "Followed immediately by Ursa Minor."
"Hmm…maybe you're right, Teddy," Lily muttered, "That would be quite a few sets of twins."
"You know, Teddy," Lucy spoke before Teddy could even attempt to reply to Lily's comment, "I think this next name would be pretty well-suited for you and Victoire if you ever get around to having another kid. After all, you are technically a Black, too."
"What's the name?" Teddy asked warily. Ron's suspicions would have been even further raised at Teddy's tone—so only his grandchild had to suffer through life with a horrid constellation name?—if it wasn't for the feeling of relief he had that his future grandchild would at least be spared from this one name…maybe.
"Vela," Lucy replied promptly. "I realize it's a bit obvious, but your kids are only one sixteenth Veela, after all."
"I'll run it past Vic the next time the situation arises," Teddy said after a very brief moment of thought.
Louis, actively choosing to ignore Teddy's patronizing tone, was all set to inform his brother-in-law that he was completely whipped, when a voice spoke up from behind him.
"James Sirius Potter, I am going to kill you."