Ok so I said I wasn't going to update my other stories until But I'm Here was finished. However I for some reason had the urge to update this story. So I have, and have made it extra long for not updating in a while. Life is pretty hectic at the moment. So I'm going to stop talking now and let you read before you kill me haha.
Enjoy!
I was sticking to my word. I had to speak to Mrs Pearson, I missed my daughter. Yesterday proved how much she had changed. I saw a glimmer of the innocence as she relaxed something she hadn't done in a while. I suppose I scolded myself for not taking note sooner. I just wanted to make her happy, but through that happiness I could see her slipping away. I was gripping onto her with my fingertips. I lost Rose; I didn't want to lose her too.
Last night when we got back, I told Annie to go get ready for bed. I sat down on the sofa, after enjoying my afternoon. The living room door creaked; Annie appeared wearing a pink nightdress and her white fluffy slippers. Her white ribbon which had been holding half her hair back had been taken out leaving her crimson curls to fall down full and bouncy landing just before her shoulders. She gripped a pad to her chest and approached me.
I sat up. "Hey what you got there?" I asked.
Annie sat down next to me and opened the pad, all her drawing spilled out and she turned to a fresh page.
"Dad can you help me draw?" She asked.
My heart began to beat. She hadn't drawn in ages really. Since she had become more involved in singing her other enjoyments had sunk away. She was tumbleweed when it came to acting classes, coming and going. She went to dance class when she could be bothered, but she hadn't been to art classes in months. In fact I don't think I had seen her pick up a piece of charcoal in weeks.
I nodded. "Yeah, yeah of course I can,"
I watched her begin to draw. Her talent had never gone; the drawing began to get more detailed. A big sun filled most of the page and waves were sketched. Two figures began to appear. It was me and her.
I gently reached out and wrapped my hand round hers, helping her fill in the final details. When we finished she pressed herself against me and admired the work.
"Is it good?" She asked.
"It's amazing Annie," I said kissing the top of her head.
Just that small ask, showed me that this Annie was still there, she just needed breaking out. She couldn't break out if Mrs Pearson didn't release her grip.
I reached the theatre; I had never seen one of Annie's practices. Mrs Pearson didn't allow parents to stay during the process it was too distracting apparently. I was making my way down the corridor, posters of all the productions that had been held there were printed on the wall. I walked past them without giving much of a second glance, when one caught my eye. I stepped back and took a look of the aging poster.
It was for a production more than ten years old, it was a production called Romeo and Juliet, it was one of the productions Rose had starred in. There she was looking bright and elegant as ever. She was in the arms of another man. Her face looking sad and tragic.
The title stood at the top big and bold.
Romeo and Juliet, starring Thomas Walters and Rose Dawson.
I smiled sadly and brushed her face, pretending the cold laminated paper was her soft cheek. I almost lost sight of what I was actually there for. I stepped away but felt hard to say goodbye, even if it was just a picture. I continued down the corridor the image still reflecting in my mind.
I gently and quietly pulled open the door leading to the auditorium and took a seat at the back. Annie was in mid song, she stood on the stage her curls had been pinned back and the sleeves on her dress rolled up. Another boiling day and yet Annie stood under the spotlight. I was lost in her voice, her angelic voice. Mrs Pearson stood at the front of the stage her arms crossed and her back to me she looked up at Annie before holding up her hand.
Annie immediately stopped.
"Again!" I heard her bellow.
Annie let out a small breath and repeated the same line again, until Mrs Pearson once again put her hand up for her to stop.
"Again!" She repeated.
I could tell Annie was beginning to get slightly frustrated now trying to strive for perfection. It was obvious she had been repeating the same section of the song for a while now, but she tried to keep her emotions under control as she re sung the already perfect tune. I witnessed Mrs Pearson shaking her head in dismay and I wasn't the only one.
Annie immediately stopped singing, she hadn't been told to be she knew Mrs Pearson wasn't impressed for some reason.
"Please Mrs Pearson what am I doing wrong?" She reasonably asked.
There was a pause before Mrs Pearson turned to face her. "I shouldn't have to tell you what you're doing wrong, because there shouldn't be anything wrong," She hissed viciously.
I raised my eyebrow at her tone. Annie opened her mouth but closed it again, she clasped her hands together at her front and I witnessed her shrinking at the criticism.
"YOU knew this song was going to be hard! Why haven't you practiced it?" She demanded.
A guilty lump began to creep up into my throat. Remembering how I had stopped her from practicing the music yesterday. I didn't understand it, Annie was pitch perfect.
"But Mrs Pearson I-," Annie began.
"Don't even bother telling me your excuses!" She snapped.
Annie jumped and played with her hand. I gripped the chair in front of me trying to keep my cool, the last thing Annie needed right now was me creating a scene.
"I thought you were serious about this, I thought you wanted this Annie-,"
"Oh I do Mrs Pearson, you gotta believe me-," Annie begged interrupting her.
"It doesn't seem like it you need to sort out your priorities,"
Annie hung her head down in shame.
"Lesson's over for today," Mrs Pearson said cutting the lesson short by twenty minutes. Annie looked up but didn't move off the stage.
"Didn't you hear me? I don't want to waste my time on you! Get out of my sight!" Mrs Pearson yelled.
Annie ran off the stage and towards me. Tears poured down her cheeks, she noticed me sitting in the back row, I gently reached out my hand brushing it past her arm but she pushed it away
"This is all your fault!" She cried and ran out the door.
"Annie," I said but she was already gone.
I stood up and watched as Mrs Pearson calmly packing everything away like nothing had happened. I looked at her one more time, how she dare speak to my child like that. I had no choice but to follow Annie, and rushed out after her. By the time I had exited the theatre she was already gone. I ran the full mile home and slammed the front door.
"Annie!" I called, hoping she was here.
I heard sobbing in the hallway and immediately rushed to it but by the time I reached it her bedroom door was slamming in my face.
I knocked. "Annie please open up," I begged.
"Go away!" She shouted.
"Look Annie I'm sorry ok, I didn't realise how important practice was to you. I would never have stopped if I knew."
Annie didn't reply.
"I just missed you, I missed spending time with you, and seeing you just have fun for once. I didn't want to lose you. I-I well I just wanted you to know that I was there,"
Still Annie didn't respond.
"Oh baby I only wanted what's best for you," I said in desperation.
The door flung open and Annie stood in front of me her face red from tears and rage.
"You don't know what's best for me!" She snapped.
"You'll never know what's best for me! You ruined EVERYTHING!" She shouted before slamming the door again.
I stepped back away from the shut door, shocked at what just happened. Annie had never ever spoken to me like that, we never argued, or fought. I hung my head in shame and made my way back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table head in my hands.
Rose would know what to do; she always knew how to calm her down.
Annie had been in a grump all day, she had been keeping me and Rose up all night with her terrors. Rose had been in and out of her room soothing her back to sleep.
That day Rose had been at rehearsals and it was my day off. A three year old Annie was proving very difficult and lack of sleep was making it hard for the both of us. Annie sat on the sofa with her thumb in her mouth and her blankie rubbing against her cheek. She rubbed her eyes, and I couldn't help but sigh at how cute she was.
"Ok Princess time for a sleep," I said and went over to pick her up.
Annie struggled away, "No, no, no," She cried in terror and flew herself to the floor starting to cry.
"Annie your shattered baby,"
Annie screamed and went into a full on tantrum.
"Ok, ok," I said trying to comfort her but she wiggled away.
Over the next hour she tried every tantrum method. Stamping her feet, lying on her front kicking her legs and slamming her hands on the floor.
"Annie I said ok!" I raised my voice but she was no longer listening to me. I didn't even know if she was even having a tantrum over the nap anymore.
At this point she was sat on the sofa crying and screaming.
I held her sippy cup in front of her face. "Juice?"
"No," She cried pushing it away.
"Dolly?" I asked
"No," She said pushing it away.
She hadn't had her pacifier in ages but it was a last ditch attempt as I searched for one in the drawer.
I pulled one out and handed it to her; she held it in her hand, before throwing it and continuing to scream.
I lowered my head. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't even hear the door open before Rose appeared at the living room door.
"What's all this noise?" Rose asked going over to Annie.
She attempted to pick her up and she resisted at first but Rose kept a firm grip on her. Clutching her to her chest and rocking her back and forth. Annie stopped struggling but continued to cry.
"Come Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes up she goes..." Rose began while the sobs subsided.
Annie hiccupped as she stopped crying.
"Jack you look shattered go to bed,"
I didn't have the energy to argue; I left a now calm Annie with Rose and went up to bed. Not long after my head hit the pillow I fell asleep.
I woke up an hour or two later, all was silent downstairs. I stretched and yawned rubbing the back of my head. My stomach grumbled loudly and I remembered I hadn't eaten all day.
I walked downstairs and opened the door.
"Hey Rose..." I began but immediately stopped. Rose was laid on the sofa her arms wrapped around Annie, with Annie curled up on her chest. They were both fast asleep breathing softly. I went over to them both and stroked Rose's hair, but she didn't stir. Annie lay with her mouth open and her thumb just balancing outside it. Her face rosy red from her tantrum and tears still on her face.
I picked up the discarded blankie on the floor and wrapped it round her. I left them both in the living room and went to make myself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. I leant against the counter with my brew in my hand.
Peace at last.
Annie hadn't surfaced from her room all night and the next morning she slammed out of the house early without saying a word. It hurt that she was this upset with me. I just wanted to spend time with her and now she didn't even want to talk to me.
At work I tried to keep my mind off things. Polly came in with some plus orders.
"Just need you to fill in these Mr Dawson," She said laying the sheets on the desk.
"Thanks Polly I'll get these back to you," I said.
Polly nodded and left the room.
I searched the desk for my pen, "God damn it, it was here a minute a go," I said lifting up the papers on the desk. I sighed and pulled open the top drawer.
"Ah ha," I said reaching for the pen, when I noticed the open letter from Molly. I sighed and pulled it out.
I had been afraid to reply, because we were happy just us two. Happy that no one knew Rose and I had lived, or that Annie existed. Living a secret in our own protective bubble.
But now that bubble had burst.
I pushed aside my work and pulled out a sheet of paper.
Dear Molly, I began.
It was time to face the truth.
Hope you liked it, Sorry for not updating in a while but I have been really, really busy. I'm trying to aim for an update a week maybe more if I have time, I will never abandon my stories I promise I will finish them all.
Please review, they make me happy.
Leah xx