A/N: Here's the new chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoy it; this is the beginning of the end, so to speak, but there are still so many things left to happen! This is the part I wanted to get to, so I'm really excited about writing the next few events.
Thank you, as always, to my dear Beta Midnight Essence, and lots of love to those who took their time to review, you're made of awesomeness! *throws kisses your way*
Reviews, good or bad, help and motivate the writer to provide these non-profitable chapters for your entertainment, and this doesn't apply only to me. I'm sure every writer would love to know what you think at least once. I do it, so do it as well, ne?
Now…On with the show!
Chapter Eleven: Reaching Out
It was about seven in the morning when the sun came up in the sky and Sasuke got out of bed feeling mentally exhausted and, for the first time in his life, seriously regretting being horrible at understanding that whole 'feelings' issue. He only had time for a shower and was about to start making some much needed coffee when the doorbell rang and he answered it to find Neji, already perfectly dressed in his white Hyuuga outfit and looking pretty healthy in all his mighty beauty. Sasuke thought he was more handsome than usual, but soon dismissed the thoughts because really, Neji was handsome every fucking day of his immaculate existence; he only seemed even better today because unlike him, Sasuke knew he himself was looking like shit.
The sun behind Neji was more ruthless than ever, too. Damn, it was hard to open his eyes properly.
"You look…refreshing." The Uchiha muttered heavily, forgetting his manners as he brought a hand to his forehead to block the rising sun that was just peaking from the horizon.
"Thank you; I wish I could say the same thing about you." Neji said quietly, eyeing him with suspicious attentiveness.
"I had trouble sleeping," The raven explained, shrugging in a way that he hoped would look apologetic. "Do you want to come in? I was just making coffee."
"I appreciate, but no, I have a lot of work on my hands today; I was just dropping by to see if you were alright." The long haired male said. There was a genuinely concerned frown now marking his features.
"I'm fine, Neji." Sasuke whispered, a little taken aback by that intense and abnormally expressive look.
"You didn't sound or look fine yesterday," Neji replied. "Even if you're always in the mood for sex – and yes, I admit it can be quite distracting – I did notice something was wrong. The only reason I didn't come to see you earlier was because I suspected you wanted to be alone. So today I came to check up on you."
Neji could be horribly perceptive sometimes, and even though Sasuke admired this superior intelligence from afar, it was rather shocking when that same perceptiveness was directed towards him.
"I was just tired," Sasuke said making sure his expression gave nothing away to the older man. "And I couldn't sleep because it was a damn full moon and my room had too much light coming in. That's all there is to it, so don't worry about me."
If Neji had looked concerned, now his expression changed for one of aristocratic annoyance.
"Don't lie to me Uchiha," He said, coldly but with surprising calm, causing Sasuke to flinch a little at his imposing tone, but he remained as still and impassive as he could. "Do I look like an Idiot or something? I know you better than you think. In fact, I know everything about you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke replied, feeling bits of annoyance forming in his nervous system. " I already told you that nothing's wrong…"
Sasuke stopped himself suddenly and swallowed hard, starting to feel a little nervous as Neji pressed his lips together in a way that might look like a stubborn expression but that the younger one knew was of exasperation. Then, the Hyuuga sighed and ran a hand through his slick hair before staring into his lover's eyes with determination.
"You know, I…You don't have to tell me what bothers you if you don't want to," The proud man said firmly but with an unexpected softness behind it. If Sasuke did not know him, he would almost say that Neji was…embarrassed? Or was that just plain impatience and frustration? Whatever it was, the raven was sure he had never seen it before. "I just…sometimes I wonder if my feelings get through to you? It's like no matter how hard I try I can't reach that little something that goes beyond what we have now. It's like you're with me in body but your soul is in a whole different world and I don't know how to make you understand that I worry about you and want you to be able to trust me with anything."
Neji was usually honest, sometimes even harshly so, but this took a little while for Sasuke to process.
It was clear Neji felt something was terribly wrong but he still didn't know what was happening between Sasuke and Naruto, which was a relief, in a way. But what was all that shit he was saying about feelings and worrying and...
Sasuke heaved a sigh.
Either Neji really sucked at expressing himself or Sasuke sucked at understanding other people's emotions. Since Neji was not a particularly emotional person when sex was not involved, it became a little hard for Sasuke to understand that his captain was in fact trying to indirectly tell him something important. Or maybe his brain was just too worn out to give a shit about the meaning behind them.
"What are you so upset about?" Sasuke whispered, with a small, hesitant smile. "I do trust you…you should know that. I'm just…exhausted lately. I don't really have time for myself and you know how much I need to be alone sometimes. You don't have to worry, really."
Neji did not look convinced but his features relaxed a little and he exhaled, defeated.
"Suit yourself," He said, nodding once elegantly. A pale hand moved to brush away a lock of wet hair from Sasuke's forehead gently. "Just remember that more than being your lover or your Captain, I am your friend. I am here for you, whether you like it or not."
Those words made Sasuke's throat constrict for some reason and his heart beat at a quicker pace. Dark eyes trailed over Neji's face for a moment.
"Same here." Was all he could say, grabbing Neji's hand in midair and giving it a weak squeeze before letting go.
The Hyuuga nodded once before suddenly disappearing in puff of smoke.
000
"The day approaches," Haru muttered absently while leaning over the open window in her room and looking down to the lively streets of a sunny day in Konoha. "But he's not ready yet."
"What are you babbling about?" Ao groaned behind her, taking his time at clumsily packing some of the few clothes she brought that had just been properly washed and delivered a few minutes before in a small bag. The blue haired man was rather annoyed that he Mizukage had asked him to do such a low rated job. Why couldn't Choujiro do it since he was much better at doing women's things than he was?
"Sasuke," Haru emphasized softly, her eyes easily finding the two heads she had been looking for in the middle of the crowded village below. The girl did not bother to hide the smile that invaded her lips at the sight of Naruto's bright golden hair and Sasuke's dark midnight one. "Time is running out. We must talk to him as soon as we can."
Yes, everything was exactly as she had predicted. She had seen it all so many times in her dreams that every image and every word was already tattooed in her mind. She knew what had happened before and what would happen in the future. She knew what was going to happen today.
Kirishima Haru also knew what might have happened had Sasuke managed to go away to that snakey man, six years previously.
Recalling those particular dreams was always painful for her because, of all the paths she had seen in Sasuke's fate, that one was the darkest, scariest and bloodiest of them all. It was filled with pain, regret, anger and most of all, hatred. Unfortunately, these feelings were not Sasuke's alone, because the boy would've been intent in scattering them around the world, making everyone who loved him miserable, especially Naruto.
Especially Naruto.
If Haru was to be honest with herself, she would say that despite how much simpler this present path was, the truth was that Uchiha Sasuke's general fate was tainted in suffering and causing pain to others, albeit unknowingly. Unfortunately, the person most affected by it had always – and would always be – Uzumaki Naruto.
Being gifted as she was, if there was one thing she had learned from her ability was to comprehend that each person had but one fate. People were fated to be happy, unhappy, healthy, sick, good or evil. However, there were many paths in life that might be easier or harder to follow, thus causing changes in the course of things, but generally, fate had always one sure thing planned for each person – one thing that would always remain immutable.
For Sasuke, that thing was Naruto. No matter what Haru had seen in the many paths of Sasuke's life, Naruto had always been there, linked to him like another part of him, for better or worse.
When she was a child – and too young to understand her part in Sasuke's life – she had wept many times for them and for her regrettable role when she realized she had no way of making things easier for them.
She had seen their pasts in what she had called "nightmares" and wanted in no way to be the cause of more pain. But she would be, eventually, at least until the day she died. From then on, Sasuke would have another path to choose, but there was no way she could interfere then – she could only pray that the handsome boy did what would be best for him.
It's not like I care as long as my dream is fulfilled, she thought, knowing she was lying to herself once more because she knew exactly that someday she would come to care, even if she didn't now.
Still, she had to act quickly; otherwise Sasuke would diverge from this path where she was one of the main characters, and that was not an option because the only path she knew for herself had him in it. Without him, she would have nothing else to look up for.
"We are leaving tomorrow," Ao said imposingly behind her. "Maybe we should talk to Terumi-sama so that she can request a meeting with the Uchiha boy."
"Yes, we should." Haru agreed dispassionately, watching the two young men entering what looked like a small store in one of the most reserved alleys.
"Are you confident that he will accept?"
The girl sighed and turned to her older companion with a small, practiced smile that did not affect him the least.
Ao did not like her, or the formal ease she had around their Kage. She could care less about his feelings, and she would be as polite as her teachings had taught her as long as he did the same.
"I know he won't," She said simply, joining her hands elegantly in front of her belly. "But it is important for me that he knows I have something to offer, so that he will know who to come to when he is in need."
Ao raised a suspicious eyebrow from across the room, his face contorting in disguised disgust.
"I don't see what a skilled, powerful Shinobi like him would want to do with someone who clings so desperately to an almost dead village." He says, scornfully. "I wouldn't want such a weigh upon my shoulders."
"Of course you wouldn't," Haru said sweetly, tilting her head to the side like a pretty doll. "But then again, I can't expect just anyone to be smart enough to know what to do about my village, can I?"
Ao shut his mouth promptly and decided it was better not to mess with that damn smart-assed witch.
000
"I'm not getting a damn tattoo, Naruto." Sasuke muttered venomously as soon as his brain registered the contents of the small shop around him.
"You don't have to get a tattoo, silly, you can just get pierced somewhere," Naruto said excitedly before turning to the fat, dirty looking and heavily tattooed middle-aged man on the other side of the old counter. "I want one in my tongue!"
The raven swallowed hard, something very unpleasant filling his stomach as Naruto browsed through the tray of the many available items the man had just shoved in front of his face. "Oh, there's so many of them!"
"You can't be serious…" Sasuke stated, dumbfounded. "You actually expect me to get something like that on my fucking tongue?"
"You could always do something else," The man suggested lazily, not at all affected by Naruto's enthusiasm. "Ears, nose, eyebrows, cheeks, mouth, belly button, penis…you name it, and I'll do it."
Sasuke turned a nauseating shade of pale green.
"Oooh, I bet you're not man enough to do one down there…" The blond Jounin teased, not taking his eyes from all the shiny things he was so happy fussing about, but still grinning like a madman.
"You can only go so far on this dare thing, you idiot." The other boy said irritably, swallowing hard.
What the fuck had he gotten himself into? Naruto was so going to pay for doing this to him.
"You're no fun, Sasuke…Oh, I want this blue one!"
The man allowed Naruto to grab the small, blue metallic thing that would soon be adorning his tongue and motioned for him to follow him to the back room behind the counter. When Naruto winked at Sasuke and disappeared through the curtain that separated the two rooms, the brunet wondered if he should follow them, but something in his gut told him he would not react all that well seeing a tongue he had so many times sucked on like a damn lollipop being tortured and stuck. Imagining the bleeding really wasn't doing it for him either. Not that he was sensible to the sight of blood, being ANBU and all, but Naruto was Naruto.
And Naruto was damn crazy.
What the hell, he hadn't even asked if Sasuke was okay with it, just decided he was going to get his tongue pierced and went all the way with it, no second thoughts!
Of course, it was none of his business, Sasuke concluded, finding himself blushing slightly in self-annoyance as he realized he was putting too much thought into it. They were just friends now; it was not like he had anything to do with whatever Naruto did to his body.
You're the only one I want to kiss!
Such a simple statement had been enough to keep the raven fully awake for the rest of the previous night, thinking about how damn embarrassing Naruto's impulsive honesty was, and most of all, how much he had meant it when he had asked the blond to kiss him.
That damn fool is smarter than I thought.
He had heard everything Naruto had said after letting Gaara kiss him, but that would never change the raging jealousy he had felt by seeing him with someone else. Worse, he had over looked the mere prospective that some other guy might be interested in the blond.
It had been a new and very painful feeling, like something had been taken away from him and for a moment there, the strong stab of fear cursed through his body so violently that he stopped breathing. Had he been in another situation he would have punched the Kazekage's face and dragged his friend away as quickly as possible, but as it was, all he had been able to do was take a deep breath and move on.
Sasuke had Neji, and Naruto was now single. What Naruto did, or whom he was with, doing whatever, was none of his business and he had no rights there – no right to be angry, jealous, fearful or even possessive.
But he really missed kissing Naruto, thus having been just that desperate, just that frustrated to get something out of him.
It did not matter if Naruto was in love with him. It did not matter that maybe, just maybe it affected Sasuke more that he would like to admit.
Naruto was not his.
But he could be…He wanted to.
They had nothing to give to each other…or did they?
Damn, why am I thinking these things? I have Neji, I can't do this to him…
Take a leap of faith, Kakashi had once said. Just because you're in a stable relationship doesn't mean it has to last forever.
Sounds easier than it actually is, Sasuke thought, closing his eyes briefly and breathing deeply several times, while leaning his shoulder against the show window.
Everything seemed so easy when he tried to look at it from an outsider's perspective, and yet, when it came to his own reality, that whole issue was nothing but a messy bundle of emotions.
What the hell do I want? He thought, burying his face in his hand.
Naruto…
So what if I like you?
What about me? In the end, what am I supposed to do about this if everything goes down the drain?
I don't know what to do.
Sasuke bit his lip and crossed his arms over his chest as a chill ran down his spine and his eyes felt unexpectedly watery.
It was getting out of hand. Everything was slipping away from his control.
I don't know what to do…
Naruto…
He liked Neji. He liked him to the point where he could say Neji was one of the few important people in his life.
Still…
"Naa, old man, is it going to hurt? I really didn't know you used a wire to do this kind of thing! It looks kinda creepy!"
Still, no one could make him smile like Naruto did. That damn buffoon who was so opened, so persistent, who made him feel everything so intensely, and who made him want more, fight harder, become stronger and turn into a better person.
In a way, Sasuke wanted to find out how it felt to simply belong to someone like his blond rival and forget about the rational side of him that told him how wrong things could turn out.
Would it be so wrong to give himself to the one person that made him feel things he had never felt before? The first person who saw him for what he was and not his name?
The first person who gave him hope?
Am I…in love with him too?
000
Sasuke was determined to get his revenge over Naruto's little dare. Getting pierced was just a small thing for him, who was too used to pain worse than that, but still, he could not forgive easily the fact that while his left eyebrow was still stinging unpleasantly, Naruto's tongue seemed to have healed prettily over the last half hour and he was now chatting happily as they made their way side by side to the Jounin Station.
The Kitsune wasn't even talking differently and insisted on sticking out his tongue to him to proudly show the small, blue sphere now adorning it – such a strong and confident attitude for someone who had moaned and complained so loudly while being pierced.
Sasuke had to admit that there was something appealing to that disgusting thing, if not for how curious he was about what it must feel like while kissing. Strangely enough it suited the blue-eyed boy and that really frustrated Sasuke. Everything was just so…
"Ah, I'm so glad it doesn't hurt anymore!" Naruto exclaimed happily, stretching languidly. "Is yours still hurting, Sasuke?"
"It doesn't hurt." Sasuke lied, sullenly, hands shoved inside his vest's pockets.
Naruto grinned like he knew his friend was lying but made no comment on it.
"It really does suit you," He noted, gazing at Sasuke from the corner of his eye, causing the Uchiha to look at him with a rather exasperated look. He would not dare to raise an eyebrow since the damn piercing hurt like hell. "You look like a Rock Star or something, it's pretty cool. I love it that you chose a silvery one."
The raven made a noise with the back of his throat but said nothing because, for some unknown reason, Naruto's gentle compliment made him blush before he could even think about preventing it. Never did his long bangs made him so happy.
"But I'm really glad you did this with me!" Naruto kept on saying energetically, flashing Sasuke a huge smile with lots of white teeth showing. The blond boy smiled very often, but not in that simple, yet so bright way that suddenly fascinated the brunet to no end. "I honestly thought you were going to back out of it, I could never in a million years imagine someone like you would do such a thing, but you really did it! I don't know if I should feel flattered or just overwhelmed!"
It was a fucking dare; you should know I would never back out of that! The Uchiha thought to himself, wanting to say it out loud but not finding the strength to do so when the blond looked so genuinely happy.
The weather was getting surprisingly hot. Either that or Sasuke felt himself warmer than usual.
His heart started beating painfully fast.
"It's weird, but I guess it's one of the things I really like about you," Naruto said calmly, eyeing the streets in front of him with a dreamy expression, oblivious to Sasuke's anxiety at his words or the new stiffness of his shoulders, not at all bothered by the lack of conversation from him. "The fact that, despite everything, you can always set your pride aside to bring me down whenever you have to. That's probably the most inspiring thing you've ever taught me."
Without further notice, just like it had happened many times lately, Sasuke felt the tiny line that divided his patience from everything else snap. His legs stopped moving completely but his arms were fast as always thanks to his Shinobi reflexes as he reached out with one hand for Naruto's wrist, preventing him to take another step.
The younger one stumbled a little before turning around and staring into his friend's steely eyes. Blond eyebrows rose with wonder and Sasuke did not have to guess why.
The hand grabbing Naruto's wrist was shaking from the many conflicting feelings he was having at the moment.
Fuck…
"Hey, Sasuke…" Naruto's voice sounded uncertain and his eyes were worried. "Are you alr…"
"So what if I like you?" Sasuke interrupted in a low tone, not taking his sight away from Naruto's even though he felt his whole face flare up because of it. "So what if you like me? Where will it take us? What do you think we could possibly have to offer to each other when all we do is constantly bicker and misunderstand each other?"
Naruto's vibrant blue eyes became huge, his chin fell slightly and it was obvious that he was holding his breath. When he spoke, his voice came out choked.
"Do you feel like you have to give Neji something?" He asked mutely, surprising Sasuke. "The important thing is having each other, working together, overcoming differences together, achieve our purposes together. What else could you want? Isn't that more than enough and a lot to handle already?"
Swallowing hard, Sasuke bit his lip. It all seemed so simple when Naruto said it.
"And you think that just having each other is enough?" He replied, not daring to let go of the other.
"Again I ask you, shouldn't that be enough?" Naruto said, willing himself to offer a modest smile even though Sasuke could sense his nervousness. "And you'll never know where anything might take you unless you follow that path."
Sasuke nodded once, pressing his lips together in what could be interpreted as stubbornness.
But he was not feeling stubborn – he was angry, confused and terribly shaken in all his eagerness. He was not sure why he felt eager. His body wanted to react in so many ways but seemed to have become petrified with hesitation.
"I know that." He muttered, with clenched teeth. "I know it and yet I don't know what to do…these feelings I have for you… I don't know what to do about them. You just make me so mad all the time; I don't get you at all…"
Naruto sighed heavily, shoulders slumping as he watched Sasuke's face, the smile disappearing from his lips.
They stared at each other for what seemed like forever – Sasuke's hand still clasping Naruto's wrist, which did nothing to move away.
The Uchiha's heart was fighting a battle against the Uzumaki's equally violent pulse. The world around them seemed to have faded into an endless white void since neither of them remembered they were outdoors, in the middle of Konoha, with many people passing by them.
Naruto swallowed hard, his free hand reaching out to simply brush a lock of Sasuke's bangs from his eyes. The soft gesture came to Sasuke as a Dejá Vu since Neji had done exactly the same thing just a few hours before. However, this time Naruto's touch alone was enough to make him tremble even more.
"It pisses me off," Naruto said seriously, brushing his knuckles over Sasuke's cheek before letting his hand fall. "You gave in so easily to Neji, but when it comes to me you make a big scene out of it, even though we've already been semi-together. It's so fucking frustrating how a genius like you can be really thick-headed and oblivious to the matters of the heart."
"You're in love with me, I get that." Sasuke groaned, taking it as a light offense to his ego.
"No, you don't." It was Naruto's turn to blush, his eyes falling to his wrist. "If you did, you'd know how hard this is on me. You'd know that, for me, having you by my side would be more than enough. You would know that I want to fight to make it work, that I would do everything in my power to make you happy because…I think you are worth it. Sasuke, you were always worth it. In my world you were always…"
"Naruto, just shut up, I…"
"Hey! What the hell are you doing slacking off at this time of the day?" A familiar but angry voice growled from behind them, startling the two.
As if he had just been electrified, Sasuke let go of Naruto's wrist at once before looking over his shoulder to see a very mad looking Shikamaru walking towards them with elephant-like steps.
The sight was uncommon, but had its effect.
Both boys promptly stepped away from each other with equal expressions of frustration and embarrassment splashed across their faces when they turned to their pony tailed friend – expressions that they had to mask almost immediately.
Talk about bad timing, Sasuke thought, fuming internally.
"It's almost lunchtime, what the hell?" Shikamaru spat once he got to them, utterly annoyed. "Everyone is going crazy looking for you guys! You're supposed to be working, not…what the hell did you do to your eyebrow, Sasuke?" He added horrified, noticing the silvery ornament in the brunet's dark eyebrow.
Lunchtime? Sasuke pondered, aghast. Had they really wasted so much time in that stupid store?
"Oh, he's a pussy, mine is way cooler!" Naruto exclaimed, quickly regaining his usual good humored attitude and sticking his pink tongue out at Shikamaru with one of his smug smiles, causing the other to make a slightly sick face. "Awesome, huh?"
"You're absolutely insane." Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "Both of you. Now get to work before Tsunade-sama loses it! You've got tons of paperwork to take care of you know? And you have a mission for tomorrow, so make sure you go and properly pick up the request papers."
"Maa, really? And here I was thinking I had nothing to do…"
"And you, Sasuke, have been summoned for a meeting with the Mizukage," Shikaramu informed, still throwing suspicious and mad looks between both boys.
"But we were in the middle of something important!" Naruto protested whining, and Sasuke felt his eyes on him even though he was not looking at his blond companion.
"Are you seriously telling me this after making me come looking for you on purpose?" Shikamaru asked, clearly pissed off like never before. "I can't believe you…"
"Come on, idiot, work is work." Sasuke stated nonchalantly, shoving his hands inside his pockets and summoning his most natural and matter-of-fact attitude while walking off ahead of his two companions. "The rest can wait."
The raven felt more than he saw Naruto pout rather obviously at that, all signs of his previous maturity having vanished with the breeze.
Glad he already had his back turned to him, Sasuke bit his lip and tilted his head down once more, trying to mentally shake off the weird feelings he still had from his awkward and silly conversation with Naruto, but still knowing he was in deep shit and in urgent need to do something about it before something bad happened.
Of all the people in the world, fate just had to be cruel enough to put him in my way…
And in the end, he never got to dare Naruto.
000
Sasuke sat at the large oval table of one of the many meeting rooms of the Residence. Not too far from him was Tsunade, and in front of him there was Haru, the Priestess, and the Mizukage.
From the moment he had entered that room that he knew something was up but what he had not been able to guess, even though his clever brain had instantly started working to ponder on the many possibilities.
When Haru's gentle but confident voice started proclaiming her intentions, the young Uchiha had been caught completely off guard, letting his cold mask of indifference fall for a while, showing his surprise, but regaining his cool composure a few seconds later.
For about an hour he attentively listened to her words and the Mizukage's interventions to clarify some things and reinforce some aspects. Sometimes Tsunade threw a few comments on what she thought about it and Sasuke understood she did not like the idea, but would not stop him if he decided to accept the proposition.
A sheaf of papers was neatly settled in front on him and he professionally read through them while still carefully listening to the women around him.
The papers contained maps of the lands surrounding Kirigakure and Haru's village, information on the vegetation, contracts, old alliances and all sorts of information on Haru's small fortune that had been left by her clan. There was also a very detailed report on the state of the village and its financial situation.
Sasuke did not need a lot of time to understand what was being offered to him, what was being asked of him and what benefits it would have, not only for Konoha and Kirigakure, but also for himself and Haru.
And while he also understood that Tsunade was sure he would not even ponder about it, the truth was that Sasuke did find the offer too appealing to be denied.
How could he not? Even though he knew that getting the village back on its own feet would require a lot of work and patience, he also knew that by marrying Haru he would also be the owner of said village, thus giving him the chance of becoming a politically very powerful and influential person. Also, by having her children, he was sure to add another very powerful trait to the Uchiha bloodline. Haru was indeed gifted in many arts and talents of the unknown that Sasuke knew very little about, but felt intensely in his body. She was not bad looking either, so he was sure their babies would be something to be proud of.
The chance to marry into a strong bloodline and literally rule something in whatever way he may find fit made his blood boil with excitement. It was the kind of proposition many dreamed of.
Feelings were not an issue. It was all politics, and he was well aware of that as many things became obvious in his mind about the way Haru had interacted with him.
Sasuke felt shamelessly and sinfully tempted as a feeling of exhilaration took over him.
It only lasted a few seconds, however, as the feelings dissipated as quickly as they had emerged.
The voices around him faded to imperceptible murmurs. As Sasuke's eyes stared at the sheet of paper in front of him, a very clear image popped into his mind without warning and he found himself picturing his house in the soon to be demolished Uchiha Compound.
The image, so vivid, only served to trigger memories he thought he had locked away in his heart – his father's face, always serious and sullen; his mother's gentle and peaceful laughter, and Itachi's kind smile with those hands that had been so warm when Sasuke had been just a child.
Not the Compound or the faces of the other Uchiha.
Just his house, and his family, the one he had loved so unconditionally despite being so young.
The faces of the people he missed. The faces of the people he still loved so painfully in spite of everything – even Itachi, who he had admired and looked up to beyond any rational thinking.
That house…he could not picture his faceless imaginary children growing up anywhere else. Sasuke did not know how many years he was going to leave, but he had always imagined himself old looking, taking long naps in his garden's porch while his grandchildren played in the background.
Suddenly, he could not picture any other case scenario.
No matter what happened in the future, or whom he might marry with or date, he wanted to go back to that house and create new memories to add to the ones he had before losing his family. He wanted to watch his Compound go down and take all the pain and loneliness with it. He wanted to see Naruto's face when the orphanage finally opened to welcome children who needed a home.
He wanted to see Sakura finally falling in love with someone more worthy and be happy while being loved.
He wanted to see Kakashi finally admitting he was going out with Iruka-sensei.
He wanted to see Naruto become Hokage.
He wanted to become Captain in ANBU even though he knew he would miss Neji's strict but exceptional leadership.
And most of all…
Sasuke set down the papers and gulped, feeling a little short of breath.
He could not leave and get married when he had so many attachments to Konoha and so many things he needed to do. No matter how good of a proposition that was, somehow the dangerous life that he had ahead of him and his silly dreams seemed so much brighter.
Yes, he had some futile dreams, he concluded, a little baffled with himself. If Sasuke left his dreams would be shattered and scattered to the wind, and then what purpose would he have in life? Leaving meant fulfilling someone else's dreams, not his own.
How could he leave without knowing all the things he still wanted to know? All of a sudden, he realized something he had never known about himself.
Uchiha Sasuke was hungry for life. More than that, he was hungry for the unknown that stretched out ahead of him, filled with so many possibilities, so many paths, so many outcomes…
So many outcomes for so many things…
And right now, one of those 'unknowns' actually had a name, and huge eyes that were bluer than the sky and golden hair that resembled the sun.
It was a knot that had to be untied and for some reason, for the first time in a long while, Sasuke understood what it took to untie it, how much he wanted to do it, and how much it meant to him.
To him, that sun meant as much to him as that old, haunted house.
"I'm sorry," He finally said in a decisive tone that was a little too loud, effectively silencing the three women, who all fixed their gazes in him. "I am flattered that I've been chosen for such a great future, but I cannot accept it. I'm still too young and there are many things I need to do. Besides, being a Shinobi means the world to me, and I don't think I could lead another kind of life."
"Ha!" Tsunade exclaimed like she had won a bet, satisfied with herself. "I told you!"
To Sasuke's surprise, the Mizukage did not seem fazed or offended, and Haru smiled adorably at him, almost as if she had been expecting his answer.
"I understand," She said politely, nodding once. "It is a shame though. However, if you do feel like you might want to reconsider, keep in mind that the offer still stands. You are the only one I want by my side, Sasuke."
The young man nodded, smiling back with sincerity because he did feel a strange sort of empathy with that tiny, smart girl.
"Thank you, Haru. I appreciate it."
"Well…" The Mizuake said, eyeing her nails with a bored expression. "I talked so much for nothing, how sad. I guess we will be going back to the Water Country tomorrow then, and without a dashingly handsome man to brag about."
"As you wish," Tsunade said, grinning victoriously at the other Kage, while supporting her chin in her knuckles. "I have already taken care of your escorts for tomorrow. At least that hasn't gone to waste."
When the green-eyed woman spoke, the bitter sarcasm in her voice was evident
"How thoughtful of you, damn old hag…"
000
At the end of the day, Naruto was staring at the small piece of folded parchment that lay on the tiled floor of the entrance of his house. It had been shoved under the door.
Wondering why the person did not simply leave it in the mailbox, the blond crouched down and picked it up, closing the door with his foot as he unfolded it. It was unsigned but the words, and the impeccable calligraphy let him know exactly who wrote them.
I have a dare for you. You can bet it's damn good, I'm sure you'll enjoy it when the time comes. However, you might not enjoy it as much as you should if you insist in keeping up with those stupid rules of yours.
I doubt you'll have a nice trip tomorrow, but you can always pray it goes well.
See you soon, dumbass.
Naruto bit his lip with a confused frown.
Was it just his imagination or that last part just had a little hint of bad Omen about it?
000
It was dinner time, but Neji was taking his time meditating while surrounded by the peaceful aura that emanated from the soft darkness of the Hyuuga's main Dojo. He was glad he had it all to himself at that hour.
Tomorrow would be a particularly hard day, since once again he and Naruto would have to escort the Mizukage and respective bodyguards back to the border. Gaara would stay in Konoha for a few more days, but it was still bothersome to travel with women who had to stop more often and who took a lot more time with their natural needs. The Mizukage was a strong woman, but she was very fond of her good looks and had to constantly compose every aspect of her appearance.
Then, there was that arrogant Byakugan stealer, Ao, who so impurely dared to use a Hyuuga trait like he mastered it. Neji did not know the man, but he hated him nonetheless in behalf of his clan's pride.
And then, there was Naruto. Noisy, big mouthed, overly excited Naruto.
Neji had to make sure he brought some painkillers with him just in case he had a headache.
The brunet sighed deeply, muttered a soft, small prayer to the Kamis and got up with as much elegance as his regained balance allowed him.
He was feeling pretty relieved from all the stress he had on his shoulders lately and felt much more at peace with his inner self. Controlling his bad temper was a battle he fought every day, but meditating really helped him to have more self-control instead of just opening his mouth to say whatever cruel things his mind might be thinking.
Neji rolled his shoulders in a lazy manner and smiled unconsciously as he closed his opaque eyes. Well, sex was also really effective in keeping his harsh mouth shut, as Sasuke always said. It was a good stress reliever as well.
Not just the sex, no. There was really something pretty good about being in someone's arms after a difficult day's work, like a sense of comfort and safety that assured him the next day would definitely be better.
Neji would never admit to Sasuke that he actually liked to snuggle with him, and be snuggled against. He would never admit he wished he could hug Sasuke more often.
Actually, there were a lot of things Neji would never tell Sasuke, because he knew the Uchiha would brush it off or throw some harsh remark at him.
Sasuke would never believe some of the words Neji was dying to say, so Neji kept them inside his throat.
Thinking about it was embarrassing, but thinking about how coldly Sasuke might react provided an even worse feeling.
Because Neji had been hurt in many ways in the past, and now that he was happy and had found someone who made his life a little easier to live, he did not want to be hurt again since he was aware that, in many ways, Sasuke could bring him as much pain as he could bring joy.
When the sliding wooden door was violently opened – the noise startled him causing his eyes to flash open – and the object of his thoughts came into view, Neji's heart skipped an unpleasant beat and his hungry stomach growled with the familiar fluttering of nervousness he always felt when he looked at the midnight haired man.
The Hyuuga had no time to register anything but Sasuke's dangerously serious eyes before the younger one ran to him, sandals on and everything, and threw his arms around his neck in a very tight hold. Then he was kissed, thoroughly so, with such power it was overwhelming and still, there was something behind it that tasted of bitterness and regret, so Neji did not find the will to actually kiss back.
When Sasuke pulled away and eyed him again, Neji understood. He understood it even without his lover saying anything, but that did not mean he wanted it to be real. Some part of him wished he was dreaming, wished that he had not come to know his subordinate so well, wished he was reading him all wrong.
But the most rational part knew he could not wish for such things, so he only wished that, no matter what happened next, Sasuke would at least have the decency to not say it out loud because that would officially made it real.
Neji's mouth fell slightly open, eyes trying desperately to see something else in Sasuke's own, honestly sad, resolute ones but failing miserably.
It was written all over his face, so heartbreakingly expressive that the rarity of it wasn't enough to distract him.
Sasuke bit his lip and hugged him again, and Neji could feel his violent heartbeat against his, his sweet scent, the softness of his hair against his cheek. Despite how much his mind told him that this was his last chance to hold him again, to tell him what he wanted, to fight for what he wanted, his body and his voice would not budge.
If the pale eyed male was able to do what he wanted, maybe Sasuke might reconsider. Yes. The Uchiha just had to know, he had to listen, had to be aware of how much he meant in Neji's life, in his world, in his future dreams.
But Neji was hurt. His pride was hurt so there was no way he could allow himself to crumble like that.
Had he done too much? Had he not done enough?
He couldn't speak.
But Sasuke did.
And Sasuke was merciless.
"I'm sorry, Neji," The raven whispered gently, breath ghosting his ear. "It's over."