Stephenie has it all. I just decided to play with her characters and add some of mine. I don't own anything you might recognize.
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It's official! Everyone missed Bob! Me included. Enjoy a little more Bob time...
I woke up alone, but I could hear talking from the other room. Still lounging under the warm blanket, I strained my hearing to make out what they were talking about. I couldn't catch much and when I gave up eavesdropping, Bob started laughing loudly making me really curious.
I got dressed quickly and made my way to the room next to ours where I found them sitting on the floor, their backs against the wall, drinking coffee and talking quietly.
"Hey, did we wake you up?" Edward asked worried, smiling.
"Hi. No," I whispered, going to sit next to him, but he dragged me on his lap. "What are you talking about?"
"Edward was telling me about his plans in painting this room," Bob chuckled.
"Really? We hadn't talked about it," I said surprised, looking at Edward. "And we don't know what color it should be."
"That's because you insist on keeping the sex a mystery," he said pouting. "But I know it's going to be a girl so we're going to paint the room pink," he said confidently.
"Uh, excuse me! Don't I have a say in this? Besides, I have a feeling it's a boy."
"You can paint it in some neutral color," Bob offered with a shrug. "Or not," he added quickly when we glared at him.
I stole Edward's cup of coffee and took a sip, leaning against his chest as they went back to talking about whatever they were talking before. It was about Irina and how it was to be a parent that Bob was telling him.
His experiences from when he was left alone with Irina were the funniest stories I had ever heard. I thought stuff like that happened only in movies. Apparently not, when you were Bob.
"Why weren't you with her?" Edward asked between snorts of laughter.
"Because I was retrieving the ball from the other side of the backyard. And when I stopped next to her…she was already chewing. It wasn't until I saw the worm in her hand that I connected the dots and freaked out," Bob explained.
"Why were you alone, again?" I asked amused.
"Tanya took Mom and her grandma out, deciding they needed a break. I knew they did…but I could have done that. Anyway, I whisked Irina to the ER, worried that she could get some disease or infection or Christ knows what. I ran into your dad and he decided to help me. Nothing happened, but when I told Mom and Tanya, they started shouting that I was incompetent of taking care of a baby. And probably the nerves turned into anger and I shouted back that they shouldn't have left me alone with her if they knew there was a probability of something bad to happen. Then Mom slapped me and told me to go to my room."
If you thought about it, the story wasn't that funny, but I couldn't stop laughing. "Did you tell her you're almost twenty five?" I wondered.
"I did, of course and then before the wooden spoon in her hand could split on my head, I left the house making sure the door slammed behind me. I went to Emmett and even spent the night. Tanya was the one to pacify us. Fuck, I had never seen Mom so angry, but really, if she knew I wasn't thrust worthy to be left alone with a little kid, why did she do it?" he moaned.
"To show you how it is to have such responsibility," I offered, shrugging.
I was awfully aware of how quiet Edward was and I knew what had gotten to him. I didn't know if Bob knew of Edward's past, so I didn't want to bring anything up.
"A kid is like a fire left unattended. You have to keep your entire attention on it," Bob said solemnly. "So, make sure he's responsible to be left alone with the baby before you do it. There's no need to shout at him afterwards…" he added, nodding to Edward.
"Did… Had she done it before?" Edward asked quietly making me freeze.
Bob frowned, drinking from his coffee and raising an eyebrow.
"Slap you?" Edward explained.
"Oh, she always had, but I think I understand her. Really, she bought me up alone and I was a boy. If Irina can destroy a room in five minutes…I'm sure I could have done it in less time."
Edward just nodded. I didn't turn to see his face. I was afraid of what I might find there.
"But it was strictly disciplinary and it didn't hurt or leave marks," Bob continued. "It wasn't…" His eyes jumped to me before he looked at Edward. "Beating," he whispered the word.
He knew. I sighed in relief.
Then another question arose. When had Edward told him?
"Bella knows," Edward whispered, squeezing me in his arms. "I told her in college."
"Oh, I didn't know." Bob shrugged.
That's when I realized something. Edward had sort of lied. He had told Bob a long time ago. I was sure. "When did you…tell Bob?" I asked quietly.
"In high school. But not in so many details as I explained to you that night." Edward dropped a kiss on the top of my head.
"Yeah, one minute I was telling him about my Dad and the next, Edward's telling me he had bad parents and his dad used to beat him. I hadn't known up until that moment that he was adopted so, of course, I was 'What? Carlisle?' and he started laughing and shaking his head. That was all," Bob muttered, jerking his leg into Edward's. "Later, in college, he told me a little more during a one-on-one, but I'm sure you know more than me."
"She's even met them," Edward told him.
"Whoa!" Bob looked shocked then something drowned to him and he started opening and closing his mouth.
"Yes, yes, probably never," Edward muttered, answering to something unknown.
"Huh?" I uttered at the same time as Bob.
Edward chuckled. "Yes, they live here. Yes, I'm talking with them again. No, I'd probably never forgive them."
The somber mood was interrupted by a loud growl from Edward's stomach. I turned to look at him amused and he kept his lips pursed tightly until he burst in laughter.
"I'll start breakfast," I decided, getting up. "When it's ready, I'll call you." I kissed his cheek before stretching on my way to the door.
"OW!"
I turned to see what had happened. Bob was rubbing the side of his head, glaring at Edward.
"What the fuck, man?"
"Well, stop ogling Bella."
I caught Bob's eye and rolled mine. "I told him to look more carefully. He said he couldn't tell I was showing," I told Edward.
"You saw, now stop looking," Edward insisted.
"It's something new, Cullen. I didn't get to see Tanya pregnant…not like this," Bob muttered as I left the room.
After I cooked a breakfast for more than three people, I called them over. We ate in relative silence. When I realized the bacon and eggs weren't enough and I was still hungry, I wondered what I'd like to eat. I relayed too much on what my stomach – the little one – was telling me. Looking around the kitchen, my eyes fell on the Nutella jar.
I grabbed it, along with a teaspoon and leaning against the counter, dipping the teaspoon inside the jar before licking it.
That's when Bob and Edward burst in laughter.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You just ate more than both of us and now, you're eating chocolate, too!" Edward exclaimed amused.
"I still wanted something," I answered, shrugging. Then, I saw the pretzel sticks and grabbed some, dipping them in the chocolate cream.
"Ew!" Bob groaned. "Salty with sweet. How can you eat that?" he asked revolted.
"It's called craving, Gravel. And you ain't seen nothing yet," Edward joked. "She loves organs."
Bob choked on his gulp of orange juice. "What organs?" he squeaked.
Edward, the ever quick-witted guy he was, took a somber face and leaned closer but talked loud enough for me to hear. "She just loves chopped dick," he whispered conspiratorially.
Out of poor reflex, I threw the teaspoon in my hand toward him and it hit him on the forehead, leaving a smudge of chocolate there before falling on his lap.
"Holy fuck! What was that for?" he moaned, grabbing his head. I felt bad instantly and went to his side.
"If you wanted me to chop your dick, you should have just said the words," I said as seriously as I could. "Did I hurt you?" I added softly, moving his hair away to inspect the spot.
"You could have taken my eye out!"
"Don't be dramatic. My aim isn't that bad," I whispered, cleaning his forehead with a napkin.
"Your aim is horrible, Bella. I have a few dozen examples if you want some," Edward answered sternly.
Bob clapped a hand on Edward's back making him jump, probably forgetting about the audience. "If she had hurt you physically, I was a witness."
"On my side," I said hopefully.
"I don't know…I've seen you throw something and going in the complete opposite direction."
"Bob!" I moaned.
Suddenly, Edward started laughing. I looked at him surprised. There was a red bump forming on his forehead. I wanted to kick myself.
"What's so funny?" I wondered. He just shook his head, unable to stop laughing, but trying to explain what he was thinking about…and choking on his words. I shared an amused look with Bob, waiting for Edward to calm down.
When he finally sobered up, he cleared his throat. "A few days ago, you wanted to watch Titanic, remember?" he asked.
"Yes?" I felt my cheeks turning red. It was my guilty pleasure.
"I just remembered how we laughed at the scene where Rose was using the axe to cut his handcuffs, and before she tried on that cupboard? She didn't hit the same place twice?"
I huffed, realized he was comparing me with her, and I slapped him upside the head. "I might make your wish come true and chop your dick."
"Bob, you're my witness. She plans to kill me," Edward told his friend.
"I think it's a pregnant woman thing. Last time I visited Emmett, Rose was threatening to cut his dick too. We were talking about kids, you know? Tanya said it would be nice if we had another one, then Emmett looked hopefully at Rose. She reminded that she was already pregnant and if he tried to do this to her again, she was cutting off his dick," Bob explained, snickering.
"Sounds like them," Edward mumbled with a smile on his face. He missed them. I missed them too. "So what do you wanna do today?" he asked just as the doorbell rang.
Bob shrugged as Edward got up quickly, rushing to the door. It was probably Sylvia with the cake. She took her job seriously.
"Eager much?" Bob joked. "Who were you expecting?"
"Morning, Sylvia!" we heard Edward greeting her. "Thanks, you're the best!" he shouted.
I rolled my eyes, sitting in his chair. "It's a long story, but she promised to make him chocolate cake if the team wins," I whispered to Bob as Edward and Sylvia stepped inside the kitchen.
"Oh, you have guests!" she exclaimed. "Bob!" she said shocked when he turned to her.
"Hi, Sylvia!" he answered grinning. "Told you to listen to me," he said to Edward who was busy unpacking the cake. Was he ever going to let down that stupid joke he started at our wedding?
"Fuck off, Gravel," he muttered, grabbing a teaspoon and delving into the cake, moaning loudly.
After taking Edward away from the cake, we got dressed warmly and went out to show Bob the city. Since Sylvia knew it better, she played tour guide. I discovered some spots and buildings that were really great, and living here I should have known of them.
For lunch, we found a small diner and ate there then Sylvia continued her tour. When we dropped her back at her flat, it was over ten at night and I was half asleep.
"Tonight, we're really drinking hot chocolate, right?" Bob asked from the backseat.
"We'll see," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, all I could do when we got home was to go to the bedroom, change in my pajama and fall asleep. I was a horrible host.
Next morning, I found Bob on the couch, watching TV and munching on a bowl of cereal with milk.
"Mornin'," he offered through a mouthful of cereal.
"Hey," I said yawning. "Where's Edward?"
"Practice. What are we doing today?"
I shrugged, sitting next to him. "Watching Criminal Minds," I muttered after a glance at the TV. "It's too early to see crimes."
"It's the only thing remotely interesting this early," Bob told me. "Want some?" He pointed to his bowl.
"No, thanks."
"Right, I forgot. You eat gross stuff in the morning."
"It's not gross! You should try it." I fetched the Nutella jar and the pretzel sticks from the kitchen before sitting back on the couch, tucking my feet under me. I offered him a pretzel stick and, tentatively, he took one and dipped it in the chocolate cream. Making a disgusted face, Bob bit on the stick and started chewing slowly.
"Hmmm, pretty good," he said after a minute.
"See?" I said pointedly. "Help yourself."
We kept eating the combination as we watched the episode from Criminal Minds. It was a re-run, but I loved the series and would have watched them a thousand times.
When Edward came home, he found us still on the couch, watching another TV series that was running then.
"I bought pizza," he said as he stepped into the living room. "Oh no! She corrupted you!"
"You don't know what's good, man. Did you even try it?" Bob asked, chewing at another pretzel with chocolate.
"Yeah, I did and I drank a ton of water afterwards. It's plain gross."
"What pizza do you have there?" I asked, going to him. After kissing him in greeting, I took the stack of pizzas from his hands.
"Quatro Stagioni."
"All of them?" I asked, taking out plates.
"Yes, we all like it. And I didn't want to wait a lot. This is usually the quickest they make," Edward said on his way to our room.
"Need help?" Bob asked from the doorway of the kitchen.
"Grab the ketchup from the cupboard next to the fridge," I instructed him, plating the pizzas and putting them on the table.
When Edward returned to the kitchen five minutes later, his hair was wet and he was wearing his sweatpants that always stayed low on his hips and a white t-shirt. Grabbing two beers from the fridge, he sat next to us.
"How was practice?" Bob asked, nodding as he took the Heineken from Edward.
"Practice. It's around Christmas and that's why I'm back so early, but I bet that after tomorrow, we'd stay longer."
"Yeah, you have the game with Lakers on Christmas Day, right?" Bob acknowledged.
"Yeah, I really wanted to be home." Edward sighed, glancing at me. "But I hope the present from the night before would make Bella forgive me for not being here."
"Don't be silly. I know it's your job," I chided him. "It's not like you're going to…" I trailed off, biting my tongue.
"To women?" Bob joked.
"Ha, ha," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at him.
"It's ha, fucking, ha. When will you learn it?" Edward groaned dramatically, nudging my leg under the table.
"If I had said that, you would have said I was stealing your lines," I retorted.
"True." Edward nodded, grinning.
"Do you two ever get along?" Bob interrupted us.
"Bob, this is us getting along," Edward told him seriously.
"If we agree on something, that means something is wrong," I agreed, laughing.
"You're giving me a headache just by watching you," he complained. "But I'm still gonna miss you."
"We'll miss you too," I cried, getting up and going to hug him, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks.
"That's something normal," I heard Edward saying.
After stepping back and wiping my cheeks, we finished our pizza, while Edward and Bob kept talking. It wasn't long after we finished eating that they disappeared outside with a ball. I knew the cold weather would make them come back quicker than they wanted, but I let them have fun.
I settled back on the couch and was watching another re-run when they came back looking frozen. I offered to make the much wanted hot cocoa.
"Let me help," Edward whispered, following me to the kitchen.
"No, no! Go, stay with Bob. You've done enough the last time," I protested.
The second the kitchen door closed behind us, Edward had me against it, kissing me. I was surprised and it took me a good minute to actually respond to his assault.
"Missed you," he murmured, catching my bottom lip between his teeth and pulling at it.
I moaned, probably too loud, and fisted my fingers in his hair. His hands found their way to my ass and with a little help, I had my legs around his waist, being impossibly closer to him. Edward groaned when I moved against Toto, that was waking up.
"Uh, guys, I'm right here! Can you keep from fucking your brains out until I'm gone?" Bob's voice came from the other side of the door. "If I step in there, I wouldn't be scared for life, right?" he added.
I let my forehead fall against Edward's shoulder as I tried to stifle my giggles. He put my feet back on the floor before opening the door.
"What, Gravel?" he muttered.
"What?" he asked innocently. "It's not nice to leave your guest only to get some."
"Fuck you," Edward grumbled.
"Now, then, Bella would be really upset if she found out about our affair," Bob teased him.
I was busying myself with preparing the hot cocoa when Bob dropped the bomb…making me drop the kettle before starting to laugh harder than ever. Edward's face was priceless. Once I calmed down, I sent them back to the living room, telling them to play nicely.
When the hot cocoa was done, I carried the cups to the living room and snuggled into Edward's side. He wrapped his arm around me, kissing my head. Bob continued to tell us about the adventures he and Tanya had while raising Irina, probably trying to prepare us. He told us to make sure we were prepared when it was time so we wouldn't have to do everything last minute like he had done.
"There's not so much to do," Edward told him. "I mean, we have to paint the room, get the crib and find a name."
"And buy clothes, baby bottles, toys, books on how to raise him," I added, turning my head to look at him.
"Her," he hissed. "And yes, that too. It's not so much."
Bob laughed loudly. "Not much? Do you remember that it took us over a week to find a crib? But to you, everything would be even more complicated because you don't want to know what it is. What clothes are you going to buy?"
"It doesn't have to be pink or blue, Bob," I told him annoyed. "They can be yellow or green or even white."
"Yeah, there's no need to panic about this," Edward acknowledged.
"You're both insane. You don't realize how fast the time will go and that you have to be prepared when Bella gives birth. Oh, and diapers. You need a shit load of them," Bob continued to explain what we needed. Suddenly, he was the responsible guy, making it look like we were naïve, and we probably were, never being in such a situation.
The next morning, after a quiet breakfast, I drove him to the airport after dropping Edward at the arena for his last practice before the game. Bob promised to visit us again.
I had fun writing this. Hope you had fun reading too.
Review, please. :)