Oh, yeah, everything is unbeta'd. All my mistakes are my own. Also, didn't do quite as many re-reads and edits so there will probably be more mistakes than usual.
Disclaimer: Kripke owns all Supernatural characters. I'm only borrowing them.
Pairing: Dean/Castiel - very graphic. This is my first attempt at something like this because this muse wouldn't leave me alone. Please let me know what you think, constructively.
Overall Warnings: Rated M for swearing, graphic sexual content with S and M undertones, implied forced sexual torture and other adult subject matter.
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Chapter 35 – The Dream
"Good morning, Viet Co-oomph!"
Gabriel stopped his cheerful morning address when the pillow nailed his mouth dead on. He had to admit that he was definitely impressed, considering Dean nailed him from a completely prone position without even opening his eyes. In fact, the only difference in Dean's slumbering position was that his left arm now laid flat down by his side, instead of under the pillow that was now missing from the bed. Plus, Gabriel knew for a fact that Dean had been dead asleep before Gabriel's sudden appearance.
Gabriel smirked then announced with loud enthusiasm again, "Rise and shine! Early bird gets the worm, and all that . . . stuff."
"Why would anyone want a worm?" Castiel wondered curiously, clearly not understanding the incentive there.
Dean almost laughed at that but he was way too exhausted so he only smiled faintly. He moved slightly into Castiel's side, but did not snuggle, and promised in a very hoarse, raspy voice, barely above a whisper, "I will stab him in his face."
Gabriel sighed heavily at Castiel's question and started to respond when Castiel warned tightly, "Moderate your volume, Gabriel."
"Oh, please," Gabriel argued dismissively with a negligent wave of his hand. "We've all been awake for over an hour now. It's time for the lazy bones to get his lazy ass up."
"Gabriel," Castiel disagreed with patient firmness and a hint of a warning. "Dean was infected three times. He only passed out again two hours ago."
Gabriel blinked in surprise and verified, "Three times? How?"
"Four," Dean corrected into the mattress with another harsh rasp. "I think. And, it's Vietnam, not Viet Con, moron." He closed his eyes against the slightly pain in his throat which was completely dried out and strained from way too much yelling. He so needed some water.
Castiel frowned heavily at the top and back of Dean's head and questioned closely, "Four?"
"Water," Dean croaked painfully, finally raising his head and forcing his eyes open slightly. He heard Gabriel snap then Castiel was handing a glass of water to Dean who very slowly rose up on an elbow with a heartfelt groan. He took the glass with a very shaky hand and gulped down too big of a drink. He coughed and sputtered slightly before drinking the rest down slowly. He exhaled with relief and offered the glass up to be taken back but Gabriel just snapped his fingers and it disappeared.
"You were saying, Dean?" Castiel prodded the reminder.
Dean sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair then grimaced over the sticky, caked on, dried . . . ech. He so, so needed a shower, he thought to himself grimly, not even aware of how messed up his hair was. It stuck out at odd angles and was very obviously mussed from forceful fingers running through it, grabbing it, pulling it . . . as well as several various . . . fluids. He so would have been turned on again from his very detailed memories, if he had an ounce of energy left anywhere inside him.
"She bit me before the summoning," he rasped, still very hoarse from strain but, at least, his throat wasn't as painfully dry anymore. "Said it was a delayed cocktail, version, or . . . something. Then she bit me again after the summoning with another round. Her . . . kiss had . . . something . . ."
"Then the scratches," Castiel finished for Dean as he noticed Dean become uncomfortable at the memories of that particular torture session.
Gabriel let out a low impressed whistle then commented wryly, "Wow. She really, really wanted you under her control, didn't she? Almost like she knew that you'd stubbornly fight her to the death, in spite of the odds, destiny, fate . . . wait a minute. That sounds vaguely familiar somehow . . ." Dean winced and hid his embarrassed flushed with a red hot glare.
Gabriel wondered cautiously, "So, Deano . . . how are you feeling?" Dean wearily met Gabriel's eyes, causing the arch to observe sarcastically, "That good, huh?" Dean closed his eyes and flopped back down, unintentionally letting out another pained groan.
Gabriel smirked with amusement then asked Castiel seriously, "How is he? Is he safe? Or still infected?"
Castiel eyed his mate and concluded honestly, "He's probably still a little affected but it's manageable."
"What he said," Dean slurred slightly.
Gabriel nodded then informed them, "Well, everyone is getting breakfast together at what's left of Bobby's house . . ."
"What happened to Bobby's?" Dean growled with concern, jerking upright automatically, then groaned as he fell back again.
"Cool your jets, Astro Boy . . . toy," Gabriel laughed lightly. "Nothing happened to Bobby's, other than two highly, emotionally charged archangels going into a very long overdue heat in the middle of his study. A lot of damage from things, or vessels, being slammed around, and the like."
"Oh-kay," Dean voiced contemplatively then wondered with marginal hopefulness, "Did it work?"
Gabriel paused in confusion, uncertain about what Dean was asking, while Castiel clarified easily, "Did Lucifer and Michael mate?"
Gabriel's eyes widened in shock at that pointed question coming from this particular brother. He commented caustically while he tried to wrap his head around what was going on, something he'd been doing way too much lately, "What is it with my brothers' sudden need to gossip, especially about each other? Specifically about each other's sex lives. What is this anyway? Tosh.A ? E! for angels? The Angelic Enquirer? Pimp My Angel?"
He shook his head then snapped truthfully, "I didn't hang around to watch. I mean, Casa Erotica they aren't. They're a lot more hard core. You know, like S & M Dungeons For Angels. So, no, I didn't stick around. I valued my sanity, and eyesight, way too much for that. I do know that they did . . . uh . . . definitely . . . hook up. On Bobby's desk, actually. Right before I left. In fact, I thought you were the one who switched Luci with Dean as you fled," Gabriel admitted thoughtfully.
"I thought about it for an instant but was too focused on removing Dean from her influence," Castiel admitted honestly.
"Luci bottomed? Awesome!" Dean verified incredulously and laughed lightly then observed wryly, "Well, he does have the more feminine name, and disposition." He suddenly felt Castiel stare at him and turned to find the knowing, meaningful stare in Castiel's eyes. It took all he had not to flush hotly at the pointed implication of that expression.
Dean cleared his throat nervously and started to change the subject when Gabriel drawled out slowly but with highly amused satisfaction, "Oooooh . . . okay. I so see it now." Dean tensed with dreadful anticipation of this disclosure.
Gabriel smirked mockingly at Dean, "And it was you, all you. And your idea, too. I figured you'd be at the bottom of it. After all, it suits you so well, and you're so very, very good at it, according to Cassie."
Dean flushed hotter with every word but at the last few words he arched his eyebrows while his expression clouded over with menace. He growled through clenched teeth, "Cass said what now?"
Gabriel frowned in confusion at the obvious irritation in Dean's expression then turned to Castiel and clarified carefully, "That was the plan that you told me about, right? The one about making Luci and Mikey bond? So that they'll get along, ever after. And, that the idea came from Dean?"
Castiel, meanwhile, had been enjoying Dean's very obvious reactions to an also very obvious misinterpretation. He eyed Dean's flushed face with blatant amusement. In response to his brother's question, he answered lazily, "Yes, Gabriel. That was the plan. The one that Dean was at the bottom of."
Dean flushed even more and glared at Castiel's blatant amusement over Dean's discomfort and embarrassment. He was so going to get Castiel back for this. He just needed to figure out how.
Gabriel thought aloud speculatively as he worked it though, "Could work . . . but you have to realize that even if they did bond during this heat, one of them would have the standard time to break it. Probably Luce, based on the last position I saw him in."
"So we just stop him from doing that, right?" Dean argued. Both of them only stared at him for a long moment, causing Dean to mutter sarcastically under his breath, "Guess not. Friggin' excuse me for not automatically knowing all there is to know about this angelic cra-" He trailed off abruptly, barely catching himself from getting into trouble with the two angels in the room.
He sighed heavily and questioned distractedly, "So what's going on now? Uh, how's Sam?" He wanted to ask more about his brother and . . . other things, but decided to do it when he was more conscious and coherent.
Gabriel smirked mockingly, "Breakfast is going on now, remember? And Sam's waiting on your lazy ass. We'll compare the rest of the notes later. Now, no time for a quickie, either, you two. Chop, chop. Remember, you snooze, you lose." Gabriel snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Dean sighed heavily then huffed irritably, "I so need a shower." He slowly sat up with a long pained groan, feeling every minute of the past few days. The last time he remembered feeling this bad was after some of his more disastrous monster encounters and training session with his dad when he had really pissed the old man off.
"Dean," Castiel started hesitantly.
"Dude, what did you do to me? Feels like you're still inside me," Dean groaned out loudly as he swung his legs off the bed, ignoring Castiel's attempt at conversation, and stood up with all the flexibility of an eighty year old man. "How long was it this time?"
"Five days," Castiel informed him clinically.
"And we . . ." Dean started to verify then ended with hand motions.
"Yes. We did engage in intercourse, sex, a majority of that time. As I told Gabriel, we just finished our last coupling about two hours ago. Dean . . ."
Dean held up a hand in the stop position and inched toward the bathroom. He added stiffly over his shoulder, "Look, Cass, we can talk all you want after but I really have to take care of a few things first. Some very, very necessary human things." Dean closed the bathroom door firmly, looking forward to a quick, but relaxing, hot shower that he knew would ease some of his muscle soreness. Of course, other parts of his body that wouldn't be in shower range he couldn't do anything about, except a lot of rest. Yeah, Castiel was definitely cut off again for a while.
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Castiel stared intently at the closed bathroom door, mentally wrestling with himself. He knew that he could easily enter the room if he wanted to, and he did want to be with Dean, but . . . he needed answers first. The only problem with that was that he wasn't sure how to get them, especially out of Dean. After all, he didn't have the most legitimate reasons for asking the question he needed to ask so . . . but he had to know.
He mentally reviewed the dream he'd just had before Gabriel intruded upon them. He'd found himself sitting on a bench in the park that he'd had his first real talk with Dean, right after the rising of Samhain. He smiled slightly in remembrance, amazed at how different things were now. He noticed only a few other parents on other benches near where their children playing on the slides and Jungle Jim a distance away. He glanced up at the sun and relaxed back against the bench, closing his eyes for a moment to bask in the warmth and take in the peace of the day.
He felt someone small in front of him so he opened his eyes and found himself staring into Dean's brilliant green eyes, only they weren't Dean's. The main difference that Castiel immediately noticed was the innocent hopeful quality to them that hadn't been in Dean's in ages, but that wasn't the only difference. They also were mostly pain free, a quality that Dean's hadn't had since he was four.
The reason for these differences was soon apparent as he took in the possessor's face which belonged to beautiful young girl, around five years of age, he estimated clinically. She stood directly before him with long, silky black hair tied back in a ponytail by a light green ribbon. Even so, her hair hung down to brush her shoulders lightly if she turned her head. She wore a knee length light green sun dress with pastel flowers on it and white sandals. A small smattering of freckles decorated her small pert nose and rosy cheeks which also reminded him of Dean. She stared at him intently, like she was waiting for him to do something or like he, and only he, had an answer that she needed.
Castiel asked uncertainly, "Do you need assistance, little one?"
She continued to stare at him a moment longer then she held out her hand to him. He glanced at the hand then her face before he finally reached up and took her hand. As soon as his hand closed over hers, she pulled slightly and he rose. She pulled him over to the empty swing set then placed him behind the swing that she got on. She turned and looked at him expectantly. He frowned slightly for a moment, checking the area for her parent but didn't see anyone. He sighed softly then relented and pushed her swing carefully, having obviously never done this before. She smiled widely back at him each time he pushed her. He found himself, unable to stop from smiling in return.
"Mary!" he heard a very familiar voice called out from his left a little ways behind him. He turned curiously to spy this child's parent and found himself staring once again into Dean's eyes, only this time they were actually Dean's. Dean stopped abruptly when his eyes met Castiel's and Castiel could tell by the surprised shock on Dean's face that Dean definitely wasn't expecting him to be there.
Castiel frowned slightly when he observed the emotions speeding through Dean's bright expressive eyes. After the shocked surprise came pained regret that was quickly followed by steely determination. Then his mate's mental walls came down and Dean's game face swiftly appeared, showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever.
"Mary," he heard called out again firmly and his eyes found the different voice to be that of the small boy standing beside Dean, holding his mate's hand easily. The boy stared at him with reservations, using very deep blue eyes that were remarkably similar to his vessel's. He wore a simple navy blue t-shirt and faded jeans with a hole torn in the left knee. Ratty old tennis shoes completed the outfit. The boy appeared to be the same age as the girl but he had Dean's hair which caused Castiel to glance back at the little girl, Mary.
Mary slunk off the swing with obvious reluctance judging by her sullen expression as she trudged over to the boy, and Dean. He couldn't help but realize that her hair was very similar to his vessel's as well, only much tamer. She shot him another meaningful look that he could not quite interpret.
Dean took his eyes off of Castiel to stare down at her and addressed her with obvious disappointment, "We've talked about, baby girl. You knew better." She started to answer but he cut her off abruptly, "Later. We will this talk about this later, Mary."
Castiel could see her huff at Dean, even though her back was to him. He caught Dean's glance up to the sky, as if he prayed for patience, then Dean shook his head ruefully. Dean bent down and scooped her up into his arms. Dean straightened with Mary high against his chest then stared solemnly at Castiel for a long moment, as if he was trying to memorize the scene. As if Dean would never see him again so he had to memorize his face.
Finally, Dean sighed heavily and addressed Castiel firmly for the first time with only the slightest telling waiver in his voice, "Go home, Cass." Dean appeared to pause and bit his lip slightly before he steel himself against the inevitable before he warned harshly, "There is nothing for you here."
"Da . . .," Mary started only to be shut down quickly by Dean's hard, very close stare. She swallowed with a wince then slowly laid her head lovingly down on his shoulder. Dean unconsciously leaned his head over to rub against hers slightly before he glanced down at the boy and stated firmly, "Let's go." Without another look in Castiel's direction, he turned around and the subdued children went with him silently.
"Where are we going now?" The little boy asked with obvious uncertainly.
"Somewhere safe," Dean evaded vaguely in answer while they all walked away from Castiel. Dean added gruffly, "And quit changing your eye color. It's really creeping me out."
"But . . ." the boy started to argue.
"No, John," Dean snapped irritably. "You have to learn. Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
Mary stared sadly back at Castiel over Dean's shoulder and he noticed that her eyes were now his vessel's deep blue color. The boy must have noticed something because he glanced over at his sister and figured out where her attention was. He then turned his head slightly to spy Castiel. Castiel met the boy's brilliant green eyes only to see them shift back to the deep blue before they flashed orange. With a slight flick of his little hand, Castiel felt himself forcibly thrown out of Dean's dream, feeling all the shock like he'd been dunked and submerged into ice cold water after a week in the desert.
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Castiel's head popped up at the sound of the bathroom door opening. He had not realized that it had sunk down while he'd been thinking. He saw Dean peek out from the door and ask with hesitant hopefulness, "Uh, Cass, you wouldn't have happened to bring my clothes with us, did you?"
With a thought, he clothed them both in grace cleaned clothes, he in his standard outfit and Dean in the clothes that he remembered from yesterday. He'd already cleaned himself with his grace a while ago. He heard Dean sigh in relief then realized that he'd just given up a great bargaining chip.
Dean gingerly came out of the bathroom after tossing the unnecessary towel on the bathroom floor. Castiel cocked his head to the side in question but after a couple of steps, Dean smirked slightly then verified, "No plug this time, huh? Thanks for that. Way too sore for it. But I am curious as to why not this time after having it all the other times."
Castiel answered easily, "It wasn't necessary this time."
Dean frowned in confusion and countered, "Cass, I remember a lot of . . ."
Castiel cut him off with the explanation, "I cleaned us both up periodically. Otherwise, things would have been much messier."
Dean's frown didn't leave as he asked for clarification, "And the other times weren't?"
Castiel stared at him a long moment, trying to figure out how to explain it. He realized that he really couldn't so he evaded wearily, "It's complicated."
"Well, I'm all ears," Dean stated firmly, crossing his hands over his chest.
Castiel eyed him with annoyance then bargained seriously, "Fine. I will attempt to explain but you have to promise to answer my question honestly first."
"Depends on the question," Dean hesitated uncertainly.
Castiel understood his mate's caution so he questioned pointedly, "When you took your shower right before I sent you back to Bobby's after our first infection, did you remove the plug?"
Dean mentally cursed Castiel's very detailed question. There was no way to evade on it because it was a yes or no answer. That meant that Dean either had to lie or tell the truth. "Okay," he drawled out, stalling for time to think. "Really detailed question there, Cass, and a little personal, don't you think?"
Castiel stared hard at Dean and prodded graphically, "I've licked the inside of your ass to open you up for my cock, Dean. How am I not allowed personal questions considering I am the one who put the plug in you to begin with?"
"What the hell difference does it make now?" Dean evaded harshly. "That was months ago."
"You know what difference that makes, and you know it well because I explained it to you," Castiel gritted out, quickly losing patience with his stubborn fool of a mate. "Maybe I should ask Gabriel since he was watching over you at the time. Of course, he will need to know the details and the reasons why I am asking."
Castiel's eyes took in every muscle twitch resulting from his threats. They only verified what the dream had already told Castiel. He just couldn't figure out why Dean didn't want him to know about it. It made no sense to him and his patience was at an end so he bit out insistently, "Is the baby that you are currently carrying mine?"
Dean's eyes widened slightly and he flinched slightly before he could stop himself. He quickly stalled for time to think of a way to get out of this without outright lying to his mate. He evaded slightly, "Why would you ask me that? Why now? After all, you, and everyone else have already figured out where it came from before anyone asked me that so why the sudden change, Cass?"
Vague images floated through Dean's mind, sparking a memory of a dream. He knew then what had tipped Castiel off. He sighed heavily and shifted into full-blown denial mode. The only problem with that was that he really didn't want to lie outright to his mate. Still, he still to try and hope for the best. He narrowed his eyes and cautioned softly, "It was just a dream, Cass."
Castiel narrowed his own eyes and quickly surmised with the help of another memory, "You've had it before. More than once."
"Yeah, sure," Dean admitted easily, seeing no reason to hide that. "I have a lot of them. Sometimes, I get to pick out which of the rug rats are mine from different kids present. Sometimes it's just one boy. Sometimes a girl. They're just dreams, man. They don't mean anything."
"Maybe," Castiel allowed generously. "But you have not answered my question yet. I have to wonder why."
"Fine. Wonder all you want," Dean snapped irritably at Castiel's single minded focus. "Just pop me over to Bobby's so I can eat because I still need to, even if you don't." Dean's stomach grumbled loudly on cue.
"Fine. As you wish," Castiel replied in kind but qualified smoothly, "Just as soon as you answer my question."
Dean could have incinerated Castiel with his glare right then if he had any powers whatsoever which he didn't so he thought for a moment before he realized that he could call Gabriel to come get him. He should have thought of that sooner. He almost smiled at his cunning when Castiel decimated his bubble of proud happiness.
"Go ahead and call Gabriel, Dean," Castiel offered generously before he added the catch. "I'm sure he would love to hear the answer to this question as well."
Dean's glared would have turned even angrier if it had been physically possible but Castiel didn't care at this point, feeling his own ire rise over his mate's stubbornness. He gritted out low in his throat, "How can you possibly justify keeping something like this from me?"
"I never said . . ." Dean argued hotly.
"You didn't have to," Castiel bit out abruptly. "You have been staring me in the eyes this whole time and I have watched your pathetic mental scrambles. I can't believe . . . Do you really hate me that much?"
Dean's eyes widened at that and he quickly denied, "Of course not. I . . . I . . ."
"You what?" Castiel prodded irately. "You figured this would be the best payback for all the things I did against you? Against Sam? How . . . how could . . ." He trailed off suddenly overwhelmed by the implications.
He slumped down to sit on the bed beside him and braced his elbows on his knees before dropping his head into his hands and tightly gripping his hair. "Why?" he whispered brokenly. He thought for a moment then concluded aloud, "Every time I think that you might . . . that we could . . . something like this happens and . . . I swear to Father I honestly am unsure whether you really want to be here or are just looking for new ways to punish me."
Dean's heart broke at Castiel's defeated posture. He closed his eyes against the burning wetness he felt filling them. He knew that this was probably the best time to make his break in their relationship but . . . seeing Castiel like this tore at his insides too much. He couldn't leave it like this. He also couldn't tell the truth and have Castiel die for him again. Or their baby.
Die, Castiel definitely would because Dean knew that very, very soon both Heaven and Hell were going to get a clue and come after them, him and his baby. Dean also knew he wasn't about to give the kid up without a fight. Of course, considering what he was going up against, he'd be dead within seconds but Castiel would at least be saved this way. This time he also knew that Castiel didn't hear all that.
After a long moment of silence, Castiel stated hoarsely but with weary conviction, "But I cannot leave you, either, especially now. Or let you go. I could not even if we weren't bonded because I know my brothers and they will be after you, and the baby. Demons, too, probably. And Trini. So it appears that you are . . . stuck . . . with me for a while."
He looked up into Dean's eyes for a moment then promised solemnly, "But I will leave you alone and guard at a distance like before. As much as I can. That much I do promise." He resumed his previous position, not wanting to look at Dean right now. He couldn't stand the pain that it caused.
"Cass," Dean started hesitantly, not really sure what he was going to say as one of his worst fears came to life before his eyes. It had been bad enough when Castiel had raised blood shot eyes to him, knowing that he had caused his mate all that pain. He really didn't want to be the cause of even more pain for his mate but he had to keep Castiel safe. He didn't think he'd survive, or keep his sanity, if he lost Castiel again. Dean bit his lower lip slightly, hoping for some sort of inspiration. As always, inspiration didn't come but, at least, a distraction did.
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I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review and let me know what you think.