AN; SO. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I think I'm going to scrap my original plan to make this five chapters. It definitely won't be more than ten.
Just as fair warning, this chapter is full of sadness. I feel like you are all going to hate me a lot, but this is a period piece, so I'm trying to be as accurate as possible. I do hope that you enjoy it. This chapter was brewing in the back of my mind all day and it turned out a lot different than I intended, but I love it.
Sammixoxo; Thank you! I appreciate the review! I'm glad you enjoy the relationship. I didn't want them jumping head first, but there's still that curiosity between them that's so magical. I'm such a fangirl. Haha.
k.a.a-inu; Koga is a big bad wolf (demon or not lol). I absolutely love him. He's definitely one of my favorites. I always felt terrible for him and Hojo. Poor guys. And, without reviews and this enthusiasm, I wouldn't have nearly enough motivation to write for myself. I want to be a better author for you guys and do my best. You guys really don't know how much I appreciate all of your feedback. I don't get the volume that a lot other authors get, but I have the most amazing reviewers I could ask for. :)
ninjamidori; I've got baskets more. Haha. And, yeah, Koga is a total creeper. I wouldn't let him near my heart sparkles right now.
Saria Forest14; Thank you! More emotional chapters happen when I'm feeling down. I felt bad doing that to Kagome's mother, but I felt like I had to. Kagome's going through some changes and realizations and she needs to be a bit unstable. :( And thank you so much, I'm always happy that you enjoy what I write for you guys!
Warm-Amber92; I know how I'm going to end this story and I don't think anyone is really going to like Koga, which I feel really really bad about, but he's gotta blow some houses down on the way. God, I love InuYasha and Kagome... Any time he can be written in a sweet and loving manner, I just melt. I hope you like this chapter, even though is wrought with sadness.
Enjoy!
The day bled into dusk, leaving behind Ume's ashes guarded by the militants of a foreign country as they submerged into the bay of Tsukiji. It was the place Kagome's parents had met, fallen in love, and ran away to the safety of nowhere.
Seeing the leveled city and landscape, corroded by the fires and radiating bombs, made Kagome wish for the time before the war, before the earth had encompassed the evils and wants of man's design.
InuYasha told her stories about fighting for the Imperial Army and selling himself short in his position of command. It took her mind off of the cumbersome weight of her mother's death, at least while he heard the bellow of his throaty voice.
The prospect of holding his hand, or standing what was thought to be too close, was sent out the window as a woman of standing called her in kin to a pan pan girl. Moga or not, being held in a time of need by the opposite sex was still taboo, even with the garnishment of soldiers and their newly arrived wives spreading kisses across their lover's faces.
So much had changed since the surrender, and Kagome could do nothing but stare down the old Shibuya district called Shimbashi. All of the red lights loomed in the husky breath of the dark. The streets were filled with Geisha and what resembled them, disguised as a lotus, but really just a weed.
InuYasha kept his eyes level, having had his share of comfort women during his stint in the army. It was saddening as he stood beside this woman as they shared their favorite stories of their mothers, and the way the held onto those simple moments of their childhood. There was so much beauty in the way she moved. It was always graceful - free - even in her mourning.
The parts of him that were visceral and masculine read the soft pillars of light on her face, and the distant longing in her eyes as something far more wanting than they were. He was a weak man for thinking such a thing of this broken bird, and wanted to mend her until she could fly off and out of his life.
Then again, he didn't know if he would want to. There was that word, want. Shaking his head, he pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he proclaimed his exhaustion. Kagome eyed him briefly before she let out a sigh and relented to finding a place to sleep. Forgetting about this day would be more of a blessing if she could take awake the soreness in her muscles and battered face.
A few stragling men from Douglas' battalion still roamed the streets, ushering in individuals to shelters and setting up their dinner stations to deliver rations. Kagome was absorbed in all of the people still wearing old clothes, torn and nothing more than rags. What was lost to them was a world away from what she knew and to have lost her mother naturally was a peace of heavenly grace.
She didn't know the way they suffered. To say she was cursed was harsh and she let her money take her where she needed to go. Unlike the ones waiting for blankets and a measly bowl of rice. InuYasha was desensitized to the aftermath. Hell, he had been part of all of the grand scheme and feeling guilt was more human that he felt than he deserved.
If Kagome knew half of what he had done, she would have disappeared. Yet, as he held the door open to a cheap ryokan, nestled in the very end of Shimbashi, he could have forgotten about it all.
The look she gave him as they entered the darkly lit inn was wanton, filled with an almagamation of desires that she, herself, had never felt. No matter how fleeting, it was there and stuffed back down as a middle aged woman pursed her lips as she smoked a cigarette from her holder.
"Are you married?" Were the first words that leaked from her mouth, and her eyes narrowed in judgement.
Kagome assumed that she was of old blood and refused to accept the changing in the country. Her pressed jade and white kimono was in perfect condition, still bright as the day it was made. "No." She said softly, reaching in her pocket for her envelope.
InuYasha winced and turned to cough into his hands, as the keeper rolled her dark eyes and looked down at her registery.
"I have no more split rooms. I don't allow promiscuity in my establishment, and I expect since you're being young and all, that you may have a problem keeping to yourself." She said smoothily.
Kagome's expression fell as she looked at the paper notes in her hand. "How much for two rooms?" She asked glumly, feeling worse than she had earlier. There was no sense in arguing with this woman, it seemed.
The man suppressed another wave of coughing, and smiled crookedly at the woman. It was charming the way he worked, but it made Kagome feel insignificant that she couldn't be the person it was directed at - business or not.
"If you can just give a room to this lady here, I'll be on my way. I just wanted to make sure that she was safe. See," He said, licking his lips as he leaned over the counter. His eyes found a business card laying next to her ashtray, "Kagura-san? This girl lost her mother today, and I would appreciate it if you didn't make her feel like some of the girls that surely stay here."
Kagome held her breath as she watched this Kagura woman's tight facade sour. She pursed her painted lips and stamped her cigarette out without saying so much as a word. Reaching her hand out, she waved her fingers for a small stack of Yen and nudged her head. "This way girl."
InuYasha made sure the woman wasn't looking when he placed a kiss atop Kagome's crown. Her eyes shimmered with emotion as he directed her to follow. When she did, she barely heard a word that Kagura said as InuYasha turned to walk back out the wooden door.
Panic surfaced as the door slid open to reveal the tatami room, nearly bare and cold. Kagome was handed a thin yukata and a towel for the bath. Kagura gave her some nonsense before she left her alone, slamming the door shut to the dismay of her other customers.
Once inside, Kagome scurried to the window. Parting it, she found InuYasha leaning against a light pole not too far away. What yearning she held to have him close... Even had this distance, it was too much to bear. Rubbing her eyes, she let the cool breeze lap at her skin and whisper into her hair.
Beneath that rosy light, InuYasha's skin gleamed and his hair covered the length of his back. He was watching the women of the district sell themselves to anyone who would buy, and the entertainers sweep in their wealthy patrons. It was a mishmash of the past and the future, with him standing ever present.
When he looked over his shoulder at her, the girl felt that pang in her chest radiated into her bones. He sucked the breath right out of her. Closing her eyes, she sank back down and rested on the hard floor. There were so many thing that tried her mind for dominance. There was her family, or what was left, her life as a whole, and him.
It had been three nights.
Three nights since she had been starving, fearful of growling beasts, and now she was lost in whatever kindred spirit she had found roaming. And, like a ghost, he crept to her window and sat with his back pressed against the building, absorbing the moisture from the damp ground.
Kagome nearly jumped when he said her name, and she sighed with her hand gripping to her chest. "Why did you do that?"
"You needed a place to sleep. I can go to the shelter, you know?" InuYasha said, reaching into his bag for a piece of pickled boar. "I'm used to doing these things."
"It doesn't matter. You have no business putting me before yourself, especially in your condition."
"You're basically ignoring the purpose of you having a room, aren't you?"
Kagome pouted and raised up to wrap her hands around the edge of the window. InuYasha just smirked at her, looking up from where he rested. "Please tell me that you'll come back for me and not leave me alone. I don't want to have to hunt you down. I'm sure it won't be that hard, but I wouldn't enjoy it."
"You like having me around, I take it." The man teased, grunting as he coughed jagged.
The girl brushed her hair over her ear, and leaned down. Her wrist pressed against his forehead and felt the fever he had hidden. "Get in here." She demanded.
InuYasha pushed her hand away incredulously. "I'm fine, Red."
"Quit calling me that."
"Stop babying me. I'm a grown man, Kagome. It's just a cold. I get them all the time." He shrugged.
Kagome felt anger prickle at her skin. She reached up and shut the window, slumping back down against the wall, nearly in tears. It was selfish that she wanted him in there for her, and not only for his well being.
Outside, a few onlookers whispered to one another as they watched the leggy man flail his arms in defeat. Kagome was about to move when she heard the window slide open. InuYasha stood with his palms holding up the panes, "Come here." He said sternly, eyes boring holes into her.
"Why should I?" Kagome retorted weakly, softening her expression as she gravitated towards him. Her hands wound around the bottom of the window and raised it. Before she had a chance to move, the warmth of his mouth grasped to hers.
She exhaled into him as he wrapped a hand around the back of her head, winding his fingers into her hair. He needed her closeness. He craved it. It was a part of being a man. Loneliness had submerged him, and this was his attempt to resurface and breathe.
Kagome's hands were slipping with the force of his body searching for hers. She'd let go of the window, but he'd caught it with his free hand, trembling from the urgency in his blood. The bittersweetness of the silence was short lived as Kagura rapped her knuckles against the door.
InuYasha ducked beneath the window, leaving Kagome to dilute the drugged haze that swarmed around her. It was all she could do to get the window closed before the woman came in holding a tray of tea and rice.
"It's dinner time, I know it's not much, but this was the best I could do with rations." Kagura cooed, sitting it down on the mat. "I'll fetch it in the morning when you have your breakfast." She sighed, leaving as swiftly as she came.
Once Kagome's heart slowed, she reopened the window and helped InuYasha climb inside. Her fingers absently brushed her against her own lips as she wrapped him up in a blanket. Quickly, she pulled the string to the light, leaving blackness to fall upon them.
"I'm sorry." InuYasha rasped, searching through the faint light from the street lamps. "I shouldn't have done that."
Kagome furrowed her brows and handed him her porcelain bowl of rice. "Here, don't worry about that." She smiled, betraying the inner workings of her body. "Get undressed and hand me your clothes."
The man gaped at her, unsure of how to have taken such a request. No one, not even his wife, had ever told him to do such a thing.
The girl turned her head and laughed quietly. "No," She gestured, "I want to fold them and keep them nice for tomorrow. I won't look."
"It's freezing in here, Kagome." InuYasha glowered, "Besides-"
"Just hand them to me."
Mumbling under his breath, InuYasha bequeathed to her his shirt and suspenders, leaving him shivering at the fresh cold. He ran his hands up and down his long arms, leaving Kagome's eyes to wander to his scarred skin. She could barely see the taut markings left by his old injuries, but they were still there as a reminder of what was.
After the man finished eating, saving her a portion, he drank some tea and felt weary as his fever spiked. Kagome tended to him, blanketed him and giving him each comfort from the coat she wore. He felt like fire and her heart bled as she shimmied beside him on the bed-roll.
Instinctively, she pulled his head against her chest and began rolling her fingers through his hair. As he fell in between realms, he nuzzled into her hands, accepting the warmth she provided. His joints throbbed and his head buzzed with static.
Kagome felt it was the least she could do after all he had done for her. Her mother would have liked him, she decided. At least, she hoped that Ume would have. Sota would have adored him and his war stories. The girl shed a hesitant smile.
What would her life had been like if she had married that Hojo boy? Or what would her father have said about her sneaking away from the orphanage? Her mother would have been upset with her, but now that they were together again, it made sense that Kagome should have been at peace. Soichiro and Ume were bound to the harbor.
A few tears ran down the girl's cheeks as thought of her family, and reveled in InuYasha as he lay sleeping. The rise and fall of her chest sent him on a waving journey. These moments of serenity in such a ravaged country signified hope to her.
Returning to a world beyond these rooms and him was a reality that she didn't want to accept. For now, she merely lay her head down and listened to the whir of noise from outside and the sweet shamisen and songs of the maiko.
Most people still about did the same, and Koga was no different. He drank sake and chided with the reformed women of the area, hoping for guidance in his efforts to seduce Kagome. When he'd found InuYasha standing outside the ryokan, he knew that she wasn't far. He'd taken the liberity in getting his shoes shined and a fresh haircut, like most proper young men had now.
The women in the teahouse seemed to enjoy it and fawned over his dark blue eyes like they were made of diamonds. He couldn't help but see through their facades and emptiness in their eyes. The men around him laugh jovially and wished their wives were as beautiful.
"Not everyone can be as beautiful as Okada Mariko!" An old man exclaimed, "I think this one is pretty close!" He said gesturing to a younger geisha.
Koga smirked, staring down his sake cup with a stagnant taste in his mouth. "I think the most beautiful woman on this earth is the one you can't have." He said, raising his eyes to meet the amused gazes of the women and men alike.
One of the geisha knelt down beside him, grabbing his palm. Flipping it open, she ran her finger across the lines and gasped. "You better be careful."
"What's that supposed to me?" He asked curiously, frowning.
She batted her eyes and showed him the river of lines bleeding into one deep crevice. "This." She whispered, "This is a great ocean that you have to cross. Over here," The girl indicated where his journey started, "you are safe and sound, and over here, where the ocean is deepest, is where you will be lost. There is no end to the sea."
Koga rolled his eyes as he pressed out the kinks in his palms. "I don't think you know what you're talking about, honey." He teased, receiving a look of disappointment.
"Wolves don't live in the sea." The woman said in response, raising to move near the other women to play the koto. "Foreign territory is never good for someone that doesn't know the terrain."
For a moment, the young man watched them play as he let her words sink in. Out the window he could see the curvature of the rooftop where Kagome resided. His planning was taking longer than he expected, but she had to be alone some time. Letting his eyes roll over the geisha once more, he reluctantly reached into his pocket and found the mother of the house.
Such hard times called for lowered standards, and he wanted to have an evening alone with this peculiar woman. If she had so much insite on forlorn and unrequited love, she must have been there herself. It was with much ado that the elderly woman argued over price, and won victoriously.
Koga could barely see straight, or walk in a straight line as the girl guided him across the street to Kagura's ryokan. It was much to his chagrin that he managed to make it inside. The missus was very displeased to see one of Urasuei's girl's making their debut as a prostitute, since there was no such fortune for every girl to have a danna.
"Kagura-sama, do you have a room avalaible?" The girl asked sweetly, receiving a frigid glare.
Her eyes moved over Koga a few times and back to the geisha. "Kanna, darling, you know how I feel about this business." She said in a deplorable tone, waving her hand up and down the strapping young man's form.
He cleared his throat and bowed a little in embarrassment. "I can always go elsewhere."
Kanna blanched at his nonsense and batted her eyes at the woman. Glowering, Kagura lit a cigarette and shuddered. "Fine. I want a portion of your earnings. I declined a more deserving couple earlier this evening, and I'm very upset about the strays coming in because they don't have a pack." She seethed flamboyantly, as she glided around the counter.
Koga sighed in relief as Kanna trekked slowly behind the woman. He inspected the dimly lit cooridoor, wondering which room Kagome was in. It was strange to be in such an establishment for this purpose, but he was doing what he had to.
The alcohol made the desire that much stronger, and if nothing else, he could pretend that this painted woman was really the object of his affection. She probably wouldn't mind, he thought darkly as Kagura lead them to a room at the end of the hall.
Before she left, she paused and stared at the man, grabbing him by the collar. "So help me, if there is a mess that I have to attend to, I will throw you to the dogs. My morals are above this."
When she let go, Koga glared at her through glassy eyes. Kanna merely slid the door closed and sat down on a cushion near the corner of the room. She never appeared nervous, or upset as the man slowly undressed himself.
"Is the woman you're looking for a tennyo?" She asked quietly, playing with the ends of her sleeves. The lamp light made her look childishly young and Koga closed his eyes as he sank down on the roll.
His eyes stared vacantly to the door, refusing to look at the girl's curious face. "She could be. I saw her once and I fell in love."
"Those are the most dastardly. She belongs to another man?"
"If you could even call the old bastard that." Koga retorted.
"I saw the most beautiful woman on my way to my ochaya." Kanna said, dreamily recalling the girl walking down the street. "She was wearing this red drape and looked like she'd been crying, but was just so elegant. I had to be taught that."
Koga let out a gruff sigh and laid his hand across his eyes. "That was her." He responded, aching to the core for her. He closed his eyes and imagined those puffy lips parting, saying his name as she wrapped her legs around him... It would have been rapturous.
His body stirred and Kanna blushed beneath her layers of paint. "That man she was with is ill. I could see it in his eyes. I wouldn't worry too much. It won't be long before it takes him." She smiled weakly, so hopelessly upset for the woman a few doors down.
The man glanced back at the girl and waved his arms for her to come closer. When she did, he pulled and unraveled the cloaks around her small frame. If he was to forget about Kagome for a moment, he would enjoy his conquest. It was a small price to pay for clarity, but he would still be ravenous for her.
Kanna, this poor soul, was devoured by him over and over until she could no longer resemble the girl she was before. She had been called her name and whispered sweet words, leaving her foul as Koga's hands continued to run over her body.
Emptiness, that was the feeling, or lack there of. Tsuya-san had told her it would be like this, but she never dreamt that it would be so meaningless. She envied Kagome. She envied that girl smiling through her moments of sadness as her lover, or so she assumed, walked so tall beside her.
Closing her eyes, she gasped at the hand climbing up her back. She was so lucky to have the ability to feel and be free from this life. Escaping proverty was a gift and to be handled like an object instead of a woman was murderous.
Yet, Kanna never let Koga see the misfortune creasing the lines in her heart. She merely rolled through the tide as his mouth clipped hers. She didn't know that Kagome was laying awake, listening to the faint mewls and pants.
It had been all Kagome could do to ignore them. She didn't want to hear them. It defeaned her when she heard her name and it made her wonder if it had been real. InuYasha stirred and coughed and wheezed.
If she had been a stronger person she would have torn apart his cigarettes and made him stop killing himself, but it was his choice. He probably needed them, she justified sadly, watching his features contort into miserable shapes.
Sighing, Kagome rolled over to her side, letting InuYasha's head rest on her arm. She dared touch the soft skin clinging to his sternum and relished in the cool that had washed over him. She could feel his chest tighten before he coughed and she aptly covered his mouth to muffle it.
The last thing she wanted was for Kagura to hear and kick them out on the street. Pulling back her hand, she brought it up to the illumination leaking in through the window. Blinking, she stared with wide eyes and a slack jaw at the blood pooled in her palm.
Without hesitation, she tilted InuYasha's head to her, cradling him as she inspected his parted mouth. Blood smeared across the side of his mouth and covered his cheek from her hand.
"InuYasha..." Kagome breathed, feeling a wrenching in her heart. "Please don't tell me..." She whispered, tears burning her lashes with their fiery embrace.
The man jerked as he coughed again. It all made sense. The fever, the pain, the cough, the blood...
Laying her head on his chest, she heaved a sob and felt his hand rest against the back of her had as he wiped his mouth clean. "Kagome," He licked his dry lips, bringing nose to touch hers. He couldn't bring himself to look at her and merely placed the faintest of kisses on her lips. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Don't worry about me, I'll be alright."
The girl shook her head against him. "I've already lost everything. Why do you have to be sick?" She pleaded quietly, wrapping her arms tightly around his frame.
InuYasha swallowed and merely let her cry. "I thought you knew." He said tenderly. "Everyone else could tell. You were the first person that got close enough to me that I didn't think I had to."
Kagome wondered how everyone was so attuned to his illness. Had she been so blinded by her affection that she downplayed his symptoms? Had he not wanted to worry her? Of course not, she chastised herself as she inhaled the sweet earthy smell on his skin.
InuYasha was afflicted with tuberculosis. He could live, she thought. She could help him get the help he needed. Being frantic was the last thing she needed to be. She needed sleep, clarity... All of the things that in a matter of days had been stripped from her.
The man's hands silence her thoughts as he pulled her on top of him, looking her in the eye with seriousness ladden in his lusterous gaze. "I'm not leaving you." He said, holding her close as he sank beneath her weight. "I will not leave you alone."
In that moment, Kagome pressed her forehead to his, burying her burdens for a day when they would be warranted. A dream can only last so long, and she prayed that this one wouldn't end before it truly began.