It was the Christmas holidays, and Harry was sitting on an upturned box in Fred and George's room, discussing Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Then he remembered something that he and Sirius had been talking about the previous night. "Fred, George, I've got some information about the Marauders. But to prove that you're worthy of the Marauders' secret, you'll have to do something for me."
"Worthy?" asked Fred suspiciously.
"Yeah, the person who er…entrusted me with the information said that if I had to ever tell anyone else, I'd have to make sure that they were worthy of the intel. I mean, I know you deserve it, but this person..well, people, really, don't know yet. Well, I guess one of them does, but the other's only heard stories."
"Harry, just tell us what we have to do," said George impatiently.
"Okay," he grinned. "Successfully prank your mum, then I'll tell you."
"WHAT?" they said together.
"Mum?" said Fred.
"No way!" said George.
"I mean, we've done small tricks like the wands last year, but never a real prank!"
"What's happened to you, Harry?"
"The Marauders," said Harry with a smirk.
"Wha-you know them?" said Fred incredulously.
"Maybe," said Harry, grinning.
"Okay, we'll do it." said George. "Give us an hour. You'll have to leave, though."
"Sure," said Harry. "Tell me when you're done!"
Harry was playing chess with Ron on the floor (and failing miserably). Hermione and Ginny were discussing a Charms essay. It'd been nearly an hour, when there was a 'crack!' and Fred and George appeared in the room.
"Harry, it's ready!"
"What's ready?" asked Ginny suspiciously.
"You'll see," said Harry. Okay, all of you, get under the cloak. Six people…you'll have to bend a bit."
"It's alright, Harry," said Fred. "We can do disillusionment charms."
The six of them crept down the stairs to the hall. The door opened, and Mrs. Weasley and Tonks walked through the door. A thin string stretched across the width of the hall. Mrs. Weasley walked in first.
"Here, dear, let me take those bags. The umbrella stand…"
"No, it's alright, Molly!" said Tonks brightly.
Just then, Mrs. Weasley tripped over the string. "Oof! I could've sworn…" she said suspiciously, getting back to her feet. Under the cloak and charms on the stairs, the six teenagers could barely contain their laughter.
"Sorry! I would've helped you up, but I would've fallen down myself," said Tonks. Then in an undertone, she added, "For the first time, it's not me." Then her boot caught under the string and she fell backwards. "Oh my-" The door opened again. It was Sirius and Remus. The edge of the door collided with Tonks' hair.
"OWW!"
"I'm so sorry, Nymphad-"
"Sirius Black, don't you dare call me that. Otherwise I will call you Uncle Sirius." said Nymphadora.
Harry snorted, but he doubted that anyone other than Remus and Sirius could've heard him. They exchanged a knowing look.
Hermione was horrified. "Do you think they know we're there?" she whispered frantically.
"It's okay," said Ron. "Look!"
Nymphadora grabbed a table to pull herself up, but it just fell off the wall as if it was attached to a string. "What on Earth?" She tried getting up, but she was stuck on the floor. The floor had gone oddly jellylike.
"Aren't you going to help up your cousin, Uncle Sirius?" asked Remus, offering his hand to Tonks, who took it gratefully.
"What is with this floor?" she said.
"I'm not sure," said Remus.
Sirius sat down on the floor and patted it - and then roared with laughter. "It's been hexed to become soft if you sit on it! Okay, Remus, help!"
"Yes, Uncle," he said, offering his hand to Sirius, casting a hardening spell on the floor. He knelt down and nothing happened. "What's wrong? Everything's fine!" The two Blacks (by blood) scowled.
"Anyway, let's go," said Mrs. Weasley. She walked towards the kitchen with the bags, and then Tonks tripped over the umbrella stand again. All the groceries went flying.
"Immobulus!" whispered Fred. The groceries froze in midair. At this point, Mrs Weasley had come back.
"What's happening?" She plucked the groceries out of the air, amused. "Fred, George?" When she saw no one apart from Sirius, Remus and Nymphadora, she narrowed her eyes. "It's none of you, is it? I've heard stories from Minerva…and Charlie."
"All the pranks I played were solely based on appearance changing," said Tonks, with a straight face. "So, no."
"It's not us," said Sirius. "Unless my nephew Remus is hiding something," he added sneakily.
"What? No!" said Remus.
"You called me Uncle; it's only fair!" said Sirius.
At this point, even Hermione had to stuff her handkerchief into her mouth to stop laughing.
"Fine, I'm sorry, Siri," said Remus.
"Hmph," snorted Sirius.
All the others were silently collapsing. And then, walking ahead into the kitchen, Mrs. Weasley actually collapsed. Or it looked like she did. Because as soon as she stepped into the kitchen, the entire kitchen went upside-down - taking Mrs. Weasley with it, so that her feet were on the ceiling - with everything else.
"Molly!" all three Order members yelped.
"Well, this is certainly odd," said Mrs. Weasley. She pulled a foot away from the floor and the kitchen righted itself. She pulled out her wand, which turned into a stuffed toy dog that looked uncannily like Sirius as a dog (Well, Padfoot, really, but Fred and George didn't know that, did they?). "I'm starting to think this has got something to do with Fred and George."
Fred and George whispered frantically and they quietly scrambled upstairs. As soon as they got into Harry and Ron's room, George charmed the door and walls to block out any noise. And they all burst out laughing uncontrollably.
"Their…faces!" gasped Ron, tears streaming down his face. Harry was rolling around on the floor, laughing his head off. Hermione and Ginny were clutching each other and barely preventing each other from falling (they both eventually fell on top of Harry, with a hasty "Sorry, Harry!" from Ginny and a "Why is it that I always fall on you? Sorry!" from Hermione) and the mastermind twin pranksters were exploding with peals of laughter.
Just then, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Quick, everyone, get back to what you were doing!" said Fred quietly.
Hermione and Ginny jumped back onto Harry's bed with the essay, Ron and Harry flung themselves on the floor, and Fred and George sat themselves on Ron's bed with a suspicious looking parchment.
Mrs. Weasley poked her head around. "Fred, George?"
"Yes, mum," called George unconcernedly.
"Have you been up to something?"
"Well, yeah, we've been doing our Potions homework," said Fred, holding up the parchment.
"You know perfectly well what I mean," said Mrs. Weasley.
"No, mum," said George.
"Very well, then," she said, closing the door.
They all let out a huge breath. "Phew," said Ginny. "That was a close one."
"Well, we didn't get caught," said Fred.
"Now, Mr. Potter, I believe you've got something to tell us," said George.
"Right," Harry, getting up, going towards the door.
"Hang on! Where are you going?" said Fred.
"Your room," said Harry, frowning.
"What about the others?" asked George.
"Oh," said Harry, grinning. "Ron and Hermione know already, they told us all together, and they can tell Ginny. No, I'm going to have some fun with you two."
"What?" said Fred and George with mock outrage. "Our own brother knew?" said Fred.
"And he didn't tell us?" said George.
"Well, where's the fun in that?" asked Ron, grinning. "Goodbye." And he shut the door in their faces.
"Now, Ginny," he said seriously. "I've got to tell you something about Professor - er - Remus."
Harry led the way up to Fred and George's room. "So…"
"What's the deal, Harry?" asked Fred.
"You were going to tell us about the Marauders," said George.
"Riiiiiiight. So, the thing is, I know them." said Harry casually.
"WHAT?" both twins shouted.
"Yeah," said Harry simply.
"So, do you know who they are?" asked Fred.
"Or do you know them personally?" said George.
"Both," said Harry, quietly.
"WHAT?" screamed both twins again.
"Yeah," repeated Harry.
"Who? Who? Who?" said Fred excitedly.
"Gred, you're not an owl," said George.
"Forge, you're not Percy. But you do have a point. Give in, Harry, and just tell us who it is!" said Fred impatiently.
"Let's have some fun," said Harry mischievously.
"What kind of fun?" said George, narrowing his eyebrows.
"Why don't you guess them? I'll give you clues," said Harry, eyes twinkling madly like a certain long-haired Professor.
"Hang on, Dumbledore isn't a Marauder, is he?" said Fred suspiciously.
Harry burst out laughing. "Of course not! He's too…"
"Old?" said Fred, nodding. "Yeah I thought so, too." He said this with a perfectly straight face. Which resulted in the three of them bursting out laughing.
"Fine, then what're the clues?" asked George.
"You're distantly related to two of them. Mind you, VERY distantly. And I'm related to the same two, but more directly." said Harry, thinking.
"No way!" said Fred.
"Two of them are actually in the Order. That gives you an idea of their ages, doesn't it?" said Harry, frowning.
"Yeah, unless McGonagall was a Marauder," grumbled George. "Go ahead and tell us, Harry."
"Nope!" said Harry. "Well, actually, come to think of it, they all used to be in the Order."
"Used to?" said Fred.
"One's dead," said Harry expressionlessly.
"What happened to the other?" said Fred. Harry said nothing.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said George.
"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking," said Fred. "But, Harry, tell us more."
"They were all best friends at Hogwarts, and they were all boys. And all of them except one were actually Animagi, and their nicknames relate to their animal forms," said Harry, smirking.
"Wait," said Fred, scrabbling for a parchment, quill and ink. "Okay," he said, precariously balancing the inkpot on the bed, "I've got to write this down."
"One of them has also taught you before, but you aren't related to that one. Also, think of my Patronus," Harry added darkly, remembering the Dementor attack that had happened a few months ago.
"Hmm…" said Fred. "So, let's start with Moony. Wait. Moon-y. Moon. Wait. What?"
"Hey," said George. "So, if he was the one who taught us - and you said he taught you how to conjure a Patronus - and isn't an animagus…It's a werewolf! Professor Lupin. Wait, what am I saying?"
"Professor Lupin? Remus. Lupin?" said Fred incredulously.
"That's the one," said Harry cheerfully. "You got this one pretty quick, so I'm making it easier for you. He's best friends with Remus, and he's very much alive."
"Of course!" George slammed his head into his pillow. "Sirius! We should have known. But he was a Marauder? Okay, so I can imagine him, but I still can't get my head around Professor Lupin. I mean, the guy was a teacher."
"He was the best we've ever had," Fred reminded him.
"Yeah, he was," said Harry fervently.
"So which Marauder was he? He can turn into a dog, can't he? Prongs makes no sense at all, and his tail looks absolutely nothing like a worm's," said George.
"So, it must be Padfoot!" said Fred happily.
"Yes! Get this, guys! My dogfather is a MARAUDER!" said Harry, smiling.
"Oooooh," said Fred rubbing his hands. "We're going to tell him you called him that."
"BLACKMAIL!" said the twins together.
"Er," said Harry hastily. "What about Prongs? This one's related to my patronus again."
"We know Lupin's not related to you. Sirius is. So one more is related to you. And one isn't…" mused George.
"Your patronus is a stag. A stag's got antlers. Prongs!" said Fred.
"Very good," said Harry. "Keep going!"
"I think that means Prongs is related to you," said George.
"Alright," said Harry. "Getting warmer."
"And you said they were all friends at Hogwarts, and all boys…" Fred trailed off.
"No!" said George.
"HOW?" said Fred.
"All hail Harry…" said George.
"...Son of Prongs…"
"...The famous Marauder…"
"...James Potter!" finished Fred. He and George knelt before Harry.
"Your honor, how may we help you?" said Fred solemnly.
"How can we serve your Majesty to display our undying respect and loyalty?" said George, equally seriously.
Harry laughed. "Oh come off it, you don't need to-"
"Of course, your honor," said Fred.
Harry started to get a bit annoyed. But that was the twins' specialty, wasn't it? "No, seriously…" He realized his mistake far too late and hastily covered his mouth.
"You're Harry, not Sirius, your Majesty," snorted George.
"Yes, no offense, your honor, but only Padfoot can be Sirius - no one else can!" said Fred, grinning.
"Aargh! Stop messing with me," said Harry, barely concealing his own wide grin.
"Sorry, your honor," said George.
"But we can't possibly deny this opportunity!" said Fred earnestly.
"Okay, okay, but I bet you don't know who Wormtail is!" said Harry, trying to get himself out of the royal mess he'd gotten himself into.
"So," mused George. "He's not related to you. And he's an Animagus. Wormtail…"
"What kind of animal's got a worm tail?" said Fred incredulously. "I mean, other than a worm. But I doubt that a Marauder was a worm. I mean, it'd be really hard for him to keep up!"
"Well, it could also be a rat, or a mouse, I guess," said George. "But there haven't been any rat or mouse Animagi in the forty or so years." This was getting them nowhere.
"Ah," said Harry slyly. "But if he was unregistered? You didn't see any stag or dog Animagi up there either, did you?"
"Woah!" said the twins together. "And they didn't get caught?" said George.
"Nope," said Harry, popping the 'p'. "And Dumbledore actually knows, by the way," he added.
"And no one got arrested? I mean, we know Sirius was in Azkaban for twelve years, but not for being an unregistered Animagus." said Fred disbelievingly.
"Well, things went down from 1981, so no one really had time to find out," said Herry sadly.
"Oh, we're sorry, Harry," said George.
"We really didn't mean it like that!" said Fred.
"I know," said Harry. "It just makes me sad thinking of that fact. Anyway, this might help: Wormtail spent twelve years in his Animagus form."
"You know," said George. "I always wondered how Scabbers lived so long. He wasn't an Animagus, was he?" And then it clicked. "Oh my god! It's him, isn't it. What happened to him? He's been missing since third year! We had a MARAUDER living with us!"
"You should be happy he's gone," sniffed Harry.
"Why?" asked Fred curiously.
"He's actually Peter Pettigrew," said Harry sadly.
"Wasn't he supposed to be dead?" asked George.
"Well, Sirius obviously didn't kill him."
"Oh. Yeah, I forgot that," said Fred.
"He cut his own finger off. After selling me and my parents out to Voldemort and working as a Death Eater. While he was still in the Order of the Phoenix during the last war."
Both twins looked identically shocked.
"I'm sorry," said Fred.
"That's bad," said Geroge at the same time.
"It's sad," said Fred.
"WE'RE MAD NOW!" the twins said.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Harry's face. "Thanks."
"Anytime, Harry, your majesty," said George.
"Er…don't you want to go and declare your undying respect and loyalty to Sirius and Remus?"
"Oh yeah! We forgot!" said Fred. They ran out the door and down the stairs (Harry followed more slowly) to the sitting room, where the two Marauders were talking with each other on the sofa in front of the fireplace. The twins bowed deeply before the men and knelt so that they were (unsatisfyingly) only at eye level.
"Er - what's this about?" said Sirius, amused.
"We, Gred and Forge, Weasley twins and pranksters extraordinaire," started Fred.
"Solemnly swear," continued George. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.
"That we will, with unwavering loyalty," said George.
"Serve you," finished Fred.
"Alright, boys," said Remus. "Joke's over. What is this about?"
"Although it was very funny," said Sirius.
"No, we were being completely…serious," said Fred. The four of them burst out laughing. Harry, standing in the doorway, grinned.
George smiled evilly. "Of course, Padfoot and Moony."
"Oh, so this is what it's about!" said Remus. "You're the ones who give the map to Harry, right?" They nodded.
"The Marauders - or at least half of them - well, the best half anyways (at this he grinned) - at your service!" said Sirius cheerily.
"Your honor, how can we serve you?" asked George.
Remus took it in his stride. "Well…you could bring me some chocolate, maybe?"
"On it, sir," said Fred. George smirked at him, apparated upstairs and down again with a chocolate in a purple wrapper.
"Thanks," said Remus, taking it, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. He swallowed. "But I was joking, you didn't have to…" he was cut off abruptly as he noticed himself turning purple. "What?"
Sirius roared with laughter. "You two are really doing a great job of carrying on the Marauder tradition. Since we're missing two Marauders, and since you two are doing a pretty great job…" he looked at Remus who nodded, "We'd like to appoint you as Marauders to hold up the Marauder code." he finished.
The twins looked at each other, wide-eyed. "Really?" asked Fred.
"Really, said Sirius."
"Also," said George, smirking. "Harry called you his do-"
"NO, GEORGE, DON'T YOU DARE!" shouted Harry, clamping a hand over George's mouth, and Fred's as well, for good measure.
"Well, puppy, what have you done now?" said Sirius, smirking.
"Something along the lines of what you just said," Harry muttered.
"What?" said Remus, with a wicked grin.
"Okay, fine," said Harry. "But I'll allow Fred or George to do the honors."
The twins exchanged a delighted look. In unison, they shouted out, "DOGFATHER!"
"Harry!" said Sirius indignantly, albeit smiling. "Well, since you said that -" he turned into Padfoot and jumped on top of his godson and licked him all over.
"Ouch! Sirius - gerroff! Gosh, you're heavy! Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Sirius!" he choked out while Remus, Fred and George roared with laughter.
"Well, now that that's sorted, why do you like us so much?" said the 'dogfather', transforming back into a human.
"You haven't seen any of the teachers' expressions when we mention the Marauders, have you?" said George.
"No," said Remus cautiously. "Wait. They're still scared of us?"
"Yeah!" said Fred gleefully. "Especially Snape. I wonder why?"
Sirius looked at Remus. Remus looked at Sirius.
"Well," said Sirius. "There was this one time, we were in Transfiguration class, and…" Remus and Sirius continued reminiscing about their childhood at Hogwarts as the Marauders and they all stayed like that for a while by the fireplace (though Fred and George were sitting on pillows as opposed to kneeling on the floor).
That night, as the twins were just about to go down to dinner, someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it, George," said Fred. He walked over to let Nymphadora Tonks in. She sat down on one of the boxes, knocking over several of the empty ones on the way. "Sorry! But that was a great prank. Do me a favor, though, next time, don't make me trip again; I do enough of it without the traps, too."
"How-how did you know?" said George, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish.
"You forgot the ceiling," said Tonks simply. She grinned and shut the door behind her.
Before dinner, around the same time, Sirius and Remus were waiting for everyone to come down for dinner, Remus looked sideways at Sirius with a grin. "So, Uncle Sirius…" But that was as far as he got. Sirius leapt out of his chair, turning into the big black deerhound midair and jumped on Remus, just as he'd done with Harry.
"Okay, okay, I get it Sir Dogfather! I won't call you Uncle Sirius anymore."
The black dog growled slightly, batting Remus' head with a paw all the same, before changing back.
"Okay…Emo Wolfie!"
"What?"
"Well…you are."
"I'm not emo!"
"Yes, you are!"
"Well, then, you're Punk Rock, Uncle Padfoot!"
"That works. The first part, I mean. Not the 'Uncle Padfoot' part!"
Tonks was the first to come in. Today, her hair was shoulder-length and turquoise. "Well, then if he's Emo Wolfie, and you're Uncle Padfoot the Punk Rock guy (Sirius scowled), then what am I?"
Sirius grinned. "You're Nymphadora!"
"Right, Uncle," she paused and took a deep breath, rolling up her sleeves. "You asked for it!" Like a classic Gryffindor (even though she was actually Hufflepuff), she jumped on her 'Uncle' and started a full mock muggle fight. At some point, one of them kicked Remus on the shin.
"HEY!" he said. And just like that, he was in it, too.
At one point approximately a minute later, (classic) Tonks tripped over a chair, bringing it (and her) down on the two Marauders. There was a large, resounding, 'CRASH!'
"Whoops!" she said. And they all burst out laughing, as they seemed to come to their senses.
They were still laughing on the floor when Molly Weasley came back into the room to start setting the table. "Fred! George - oh, it's you lot. I just wondered what happened when I heard that 'crash!'"
"Oh - er - Sorry, Molly. That was me," winced Tonks.
Mrs. Weasley only sighed.
"And me," said Remus.
She blinked.
"And me as well," said Sirius sheepishly.
She sighed again. None of them, absolutely none of them would ever grow up. Then she frowned. "Remus, why are you purple?"
The End!
(A/N: Who knows why everyone ends up falling over each other and onto the floor in so many of our fanfics?)