I saw you laugh and smile.
You were happy.
But I couldn't laugh or smile with you.
The only thing I could do was to hover as your face, your image flow through to my heart.
So, instead of being happy, I wept.
Like this...
I always look at you one step behind.
Suoh looked out the window. There was only groups of girls and boys here and there, enjoying the warm spring sun. "He is nowhere in sight." He muttered under his breath. His overly affable chairman's head was already full and avid with the new mission. 'Finding out the truth about his mysterious cousin.' He sighed and put his fingers gingerly on to his temple. The door bursted open brusquely. "I couldn't find him! He wasn't at the clock tower, his classrooms, or the Direstress's office." Akira's adorable face was all huffy and puffy of running and his hair was handsomely windblown.
"Oh well, he has to come quick, look at this amount of paperwork, Iiyujin!" Suoh gave another exasperated sigh. "He would come back sooner or later wouldn't he?" Akira evoked another phrase which he always said to comfort the troubled mind of Suoh. Akira's worried eyes gave away as a resilient smile pervaded on his lips. "Well, I guess so, Akira. If he comes back, he must expect some turbulence." Suoh said scornfully yet he couldn't hide the amusement in his tone. "Let's just think that we are having a nice break. Tea time, Iiyujin!" Suoh concluded his gruesome worries and searches in a frank manner. But, in a corner of his mind an unanswered question still lingered. 'What haunts his mind so much? His abstruse cousin? Perhaps.'
The lake of the Clamp campus was wide and interminable as always, and the young, beautiful youth standing beside it made the scenery magnificent than ever. His face was slightly covered up by his handsomely overgrown bangs as the calm breeze fluttered some blossom petals with it. The greenery forest stretched out from the lake stimulated his curiosity. 'I wonder what will be behind those forests.' He wanted to have a short alone time, away from his two companions in order to untangle his complicated feelings.
He looked up at the deep, blue sky which held some fluffy, white cloulds here and there. "Howcome, this campus always looks so new everytime I come, as if it is welcoming me." Nokoru shut his fan closed and placed it on his lower lip. Bizarre events happened throughout his school life. He met Suoh, and the young ninja chose to become his bodyguard. Then came Akira, as the famous 20 masks. He met such remarkable ladies, Nagisa jo, President Ohkawa. Like that, his life rolled on so smoothly and in a normal fashion. Helping damsels in distress, establishing the Clamp school detectives, getting kidnapped sometime during his childhood but always outsmarted the villains. Now, he met another person strolling into his life a few days ago. Kotobuki Kira.
Even though, his so-called cousin insisted him to call her by her first name, somehow he didn't feel like it. Getting close to her wasn't exactly in his agenda. As he heard the Clamp clock toll the lunch break, he decided to put a period to this matter.
As a result?
She is unpredictable. Yes.
She is unexpectable. Yes.
She is irritating, annoying, unpleasant to be with it? Not really.
Nokoru sighed as he looked at himself reflected of the lake. From the past few days, Nokoru had to sum up his relationship with Kira. When he thought she will go left, she goes right. She gave him so much surprises. He tried his best to dig up some information about her, but failed miserably. The only way to get answers was now to receive it directly from Kira. At least, she didn't cause any problem, right? She already seemed to have some freinds. Anita and Maron san. Nokoru smiled a little as he thought of the sweltering hot day when he first met the couple.
When Maron moved to the busy city of Tokyo, he was accepted to Clamp school because of his knowledge of marine and sea environments. Then, Anita san also decided to come with Maron, and she was very easily accepted since she was a brilliant student. She was also offered a place at the dormitories. Quiet, but smart. Her gliding skills was so superb that she second best in the whole campus. The two students were indeed Clamp campus's pride. Anita and Maron carried on as freinds, but Nokoru knew this relationship will soon develop into love. Anita grew up into a pretty young woman with dark, pearly skin, and Maron also grew up into a handsome young man with smooth honey-colored hair. Nokoru sometimes was concerned that Kira might be an obstacle between the couple, but he couldn't see any jealousy or affection when Kira looked at either Anita or Maron. Only sincere freindliness and hospitality was shone inside the bright amber orbs of her's.
Turning away from the lake, he walked the sloping hill back to his office. 'Everything will go okay,' Nokoru reminded himself. 'Except my brain will burst any time if I don't get answers soon.' Determination shone in Nokoru's eyes and he somehow he felt the secret will come out sooner or later. 'I'll just have to wait, and wait. I never failed to get something what I want, didn't I? It just so imminent, isn't it?' As he stepped into the shade of a willow tree, the fact that his avarice might hurt Kira made his heart rive. He crouched down, suddenly ashamed of himself. 'What am I becoming? What is this feeling inside me?' His ailing heart whispered. Then, another fact occured to him.
She is painfully familiar. Yes.
Giggling with Anita and Maron to her biology classroom, Kira shuffled with her bookbag and made sure everything was inside. Since the first day of school and the tension from Nokoru's council office made her to avoid Nokoru. She started to speak less to Nokoru, and he didn't question her about her sudden action of running off. Anyway, she didn't have any reason to be gloomy anymore. 'I am accustomed to this, right? Hanging out with freinds, laughing, goofing around, somewhat a class clown. Besides, I heal fast.' She shook off the evening of that day when she locked herself in a girl's washroom, wiping her face with the water running from the tap. The water gurgling down to the faucet reverberating in the empty washroom. All alone, dark, and lonely once more.
"Hey Kira chan, did you know we are dissecting a frog today ?" Maron asked cheerfully. "Yep, I hope I am in the same experiment group as you guys." Kira answered immediately, blinking her eyes twice in invisible surprise. "Why, scared of frog intestines? Don't think Anita and I are going to do all the dirty part of experimentation." She shook her head indignantly since she knew both Anita and Maron were good at anatomy. "I can be execellent at that part than you guys! Just watch." Kira replied proudly as she opened her classroom doors.
This was her first biology class in Clamp school, and she wanted to impress this teacher as much she did to Yagari sensei. For the past few days, she tried hard to keep up to her school work due to the difficult lectures and the mountain of homework that followed her classes made her more tired than ever. Back at her old school, she was a pretty good student. Getting mostly As and going on to high school honour's class, but her state was different now. This school was tough, and it was really was TOUGH. She decided to join the high school band since they had no harpist, and her music teacher who was a kind lady approved her voice and her music. So, she eventually had to stay at the campus longer than other students. She didn't really mind though, because her schedule usually ended when Nokoru's job ended. Council paperwork.
While she pulled a smug smile on her face, she thought of Nokoru's pouty face when he complained to Suoh about the amount of the documents. Her grin vanished instantly when she slightly bumped into her new teacher, her locket again bouncing on her neck. "So, you are the new student, eh. Well, I am called Meichi sensei in this classroom." Kira instantly had a feeling that this instructor was someone she couldn't mess with. A thin face, pointy nose, and a ruler in his left hand as he walked around her as if she was something disgusting from the zoo. "Well, Kotobuki san. Don't think I will favor you just because you are related to the chairman. Since every student is equal in my classroom, how much Yagari sensei thinks you are so special." Kira gulped uneasily as he looked at the gimlet like man.
She looked around at the classroom more meticulously. There was no sight of Nokoru, instead a misty, herb-like scent wafted through her senses, and strange, unpleasant critters were held in glass cases and tanks. "So, I shoud assign you to your group, and don't think I am going to put you with Anita or Maron san since I know they will be a bad influence on you." Kira opened her mouth to protest, but closed it as a surrender when she saw Anita's pleading eyes behind the teacher's back. "You will be grouped with Kyogoku san. She is our class-president, so I think she will be a perfect role-model for you." Meichi sensei said in his thin, lifeless lips and quickly strode to the teacher's armchair.
Kira sat as she eyed the blonde class-president carefully, and decided to go at a freindly way. "Gonnichiwa, Midoriko chan. How were you? Today is such a good weather for a nice stroll, eh? I think it was the right decision to come back to Japan, did you ever..." Her prattle suddenly was interrupted by no less a person than Meichi sensei. "Kotobuki san, this class requires attention!" The words were cold and low, but Kira knew he could have screamed out the words if he wanted to. "Go, gomenasai," she muttered. "What a sod." Kira said in a low whisper, but somehow Midoriko have heard. "Watch your language, Kotobuki san. I am only covering up for you because you are Nokoru sama's cousin." Midoriko's bright green eyes glinted in the shaded classroom as she glanced at Kira.
"Class, attention! Today, we are going to dissect frogs as you can see, they are all healthy and alive. You must write a hand-written lab about the intestine and the organs of an amphibian. I will take no questions from you. In addition, I must inform you since our campus is the best in the whole country that we have the best labratory and the apparatuses, materials, and tools. These frogs were very expensive and exorbitant. And please do not forget that these frogs are alive." Mechi sensei ended his speech with a grim look as he watched every classmate with such suspicion in his gray eyes.
The frogs were distributed carefully by the duties which were a matter of factly all boys. Kira saw Midoriko's handsome nose wrinkle in slight disgust as she held the greenish creature onto her delicate hands. Kira thought she needed to do her a favor. The guilt of wrecking some of Midoriko's dearly cared lavenders poked the corner of he heart. "I can do the dissecting part if you don't want to do it." Kira suggested eagerly when she saw the other member of her biology group shirink away in disgust at the slimy frog. Midoriko closed her eyes tightly as she handed Kira the yucky amphibian. "I will do the lab writing while you analyze it." Midoriko muttered under her scowl. Kira examined the frog closely in her gloved hands, she never killed a living creature before. 'What a pitiful creature are you. Having to die in a labratory like this. What is the difference of murdering a person or killing a living frog!' Kira just stared at the black eyeballs which stared straight back.
"Kotobuki san, why aren't you starting?" Midoriko asked snappishly as she poked Kira's shoulder gently. Then without intention, Kira's clutched palms abruptly loosened. The scream of Midoriko brought Kira from her daydream.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeek!" Midoriko yelled when the frog jumped onto her pearly face. "Midoriko san, I'm so sorry. Just wait a moment." Kira uttered the words helplessly as the frog jumped on to a student to student. "Get that frog! It is at least worth seventy yen!" Mechi sensei screamed out the words as he crawled on to his desk, trembling from head to toe. Yet, Kira took no notice of this as she ran laps around the classroom. "Gomen, please be still. I'll get it out of you." Kira said urgently as she tried to pull off the naughty creature off yet another female's hair. Now the loosed frog wasn't only one. It was everywhere! And, everyone all scrambled up to their desks except for a few boys, but Kira knew they only wanted to watch this entertainment close-up. All her classmates just huddled into a corner as if they all expected her to catch it. "Come on, help!" Kira yelped helplessly looking at Midoriko, since she was the class president, right? But, Midoriko just gazed silently as she pointed at a certain corner of the classroom. Kira whipped her head around to the way Midoriko pointed.
Hundreds of experimental animals swarmed through the classroom, and more screams came from the lips of the students. Foresaken and abandoned, Kira looked around the classroom with her eyes with powerlessness when she saw all kinds of repulsive creatures crawling under her feet, some crawling on to her leg, and she noticed what they were. Leeches.... Somehow, she felt sick when she noticed one of the windows toward the hallways opened... "No!" Kira yelled out the words, ignoring the sniggers coming from the boys turning into provoking whines, and ran out to the hallway. Her uncomfortable shoes slipping and sliding, and the hem of her decent skirt soaked in some weird substance that looked as if someone vomited on it.
"No, no! This can't be happening!" Kira's head whirled in dizziness as she heard more screams up ahead from the hallway.
A shrewd yawn escaped through Nokoru's tedious lips. "Kaichou, you need to finish your work." Akira mumured gently. Unlike Suoh, Akira seemed to be soft and a little bit off on Nokoru's lazy habits, and Nokoru perfectly knew that. "Aww, come on, Akira. Let's have a nice break. Suoh will never know." Nokoru tried to seize the chance when Suoh left for his karate class. "Remember what we did together, Akira? While Suoh was gone I mean." Nokoru thought wheedling sweetly will let Akira in to his plans. "What should we do today? What about pretending to be survivors from an immense blizzard or a stupendous deluge. Or what about.." Nokoru was suddenly interrupted by Akira's mellifluous groan. "Please, Kaichou. Please, do not bribe me." Akira pleaded with his adorable puppy-dog eyes, his trademark. "You already missed this morning's documents. Look at those papers, I think they are going to fall down sooner or later. Besides, Takamura senpai will be very upset." Akira protested lightly.
Nokoru moaned as he looked up at the brilliant sunlight as he fanned himself slowly. Then, just as he was about to get back to his duty, he heard a scream. A woman's... Standing up impetuously, Nokoru walked hastily down the steps to the exit. "Ka, kaichou where are you going? You need to stay put. Or else, Ta.." Akira's protest was muffled by Nokoru's crucial tone. "Forget about Suoh! There is a lady in trouble, and not only one! Come, hurry!" Akira's outstretched arms which covered up the doorway folded up again. "Well.." Akira stammered, undecided. Nokoru grabbed firmly at either side of Akria's shoulders.
"Get a hold of yourself, Iiyujin Akira! As a member of the Clamp School Detectives, you do everything in your power for the happiness of ladies. If there is a woman to the west in tears, you go and gently hand her a handkerchief. If there is a depressed lady to the east, you run over and remove the cause of her troubles!" Nokoru's speech somehow made Akira feel the same as him, and eagerly opened the double doors. Just then, Suoh came in. "What the.." Suoh still in his karate kimono. "No time to explain, Suoh!" Nokoru blurted out the words and together him and Akira dragged Suoh to the aid for ladies! Somehow, the most athletic and strongest member of the three got pulled and dragged to the 2nd floor science classrooms, one arm by Nokoru and the other by Akira, he got pushed and pulled without an answer. The muffled scream of Suoh reverberated all the way to the second floor... "KAICHOU!!!!"
The second floor of the high school district was flooded with screams of students, teachers, and janitors, and Takamura Suoh somewhat could understand what was going on. Nokoru could see at least a hundered of nameless critters, reptile, and amphibians crawling on the walls and corridors, surrounding him. "Please stay calm, ladies and gentlemen!" At Nokoru's voice, all the females suddenly crowded around him, all scared and frightened. "Suoh, go to the university district and tell the system workers to get the alarm ready. These creatures must all come from Mechi sensei's classroom!" Nokoru exclaimed all of a sudden while Suoh hastily ran to the other side of the hallway. 'Wait, isn't biology by Meichi sensei is the one Kotobuki san is having for her fourth block? Then, where is she?' Startled, Nokoru stood on tippy-toes and looked around the crowd. 'No sign of her.'
Then, a familiar voice caught his ears. "Nokoru sama." Nokoru whipped his head around. "Midoriko san." Midoriko made a small smile despite the condition she was in when she heard her name coming from Nokoru's lips. "Nokoru sama." She uttered out the words as she tried to come closer to him. "Midoriko san, have you seen Kotobuki san?" Nokoru asked in a unusually loud voice when he pulled Midoriko by her arm. Midoriko's smile vanished slightly when she heard who her crush was looking for. "Oh, well as you can see Nokoru sama. What kind of person would make a problem like this?" She prompted, one eyebrow raised. "You are not saying, Kotobu.." Nokoru was lost for words. 'Was she this mischevious? To smear tears on other innocent females' cheeks? She can't be that cruel.'
Soon enough, all the critters were out of the building, captured by the janitors and co-workers. The security of Clamp campus was amazing as ever, the walls and corridors all mopped up and cleared up in an instant. "Well, I think that is the last of it, Kaichou." Suoh sighed as Akira comforted all the female students to their classrooms. Now, only the students attending Meichi's biology lesson was standing on the hallway. Anita and Maron were the anxious of them all.
"Kotobuki san is still not here?" Nokoru asked them and both of them shook their heads. Midoriko gave a worried glance at Nokoru, and somehow disappointed. "I will go and get her. I hope she is not trampled by a bunch of frogs." Nokoru tried to reach the entrance door, but then someone clutched his sleeve. "Wait, Imonoyama san. Your cousin, Kotobuki san did an immense problem to my class! I just can't believe she is related to you! She ruined my whole class! I want to get her detention, suspension, no expellsion!" Meichi yelled like a mad man, his glasses crooked to the side in a weird way.
"Iie sensei. You are wrong. Kira san didn't do anything wrong. She was the only student in our whole class who tried to clean up this mess. Even you were horrified, sensei! And as for me, as the class president. I couldn't do anything. Of course, I knew better than Kotobuki san at biology, but at that moment I just, just..." Midoriko was lost for words as she looked down at the floor. "I feel responsible for this situation. I was supposed to lead the class in an orderly fashion, so I.." Nokoru looked sympathetically at the blonde damsel who was in this case, almost in tears. Midoriko was always like this. She may look unfriendly and aloof, but her inside was warm and thoughtful. "It is not your fault. There are some witnesses too, you know." Nokoru said as he motioned to Anita and Maron. Nokoru ordered Suoh and Akira to organize the students, and ran to the entrance of the school. In search of Kira... Worries swamped his mind as he looked only straight ahead.
He didn't look behind, since he only looked ahead.
He didn't see the hollow smile of Midoriko...
Smiling melancholy at her crush...
Another tear, as a different purpose dropped from her cheeks.
'She is her cousin isn't she? Of course it is normal to worry about her. But, what is this emptiness...'
Nokoru ran to the lake he used as a hideout from Suoh and Akira. Then stopped abruptly when he saw the silhouette of Kira skipping from the forest. Forcing a smile on his lips, and ready for another lecture about not running off, he again suddenly stopped when he saw Kira. Despite her wet attire and dripping hair, she hummed happily as she ran to Nokoru. "Look Nokoru, look what I got. I finally captured that frog! See, I caught a frog! Aren't you so proud of me?" Kira asked childishly as she stopped a couple of footsteps from Nokoru. At first, he just stared.
A lotus leaf was hanging from the left side of her face, a half dead frog hanging limply from her right hand, her tangled hair shining in a bright brown under the setting sun, and her left cheek smeared with dirt. She stumbled and the frog seized its' chance and leaped away. "Crap. Oh well.." Kira scowled and made an innocent face when she noticed the poker-face in front of her. "You heard it from, Meichi sensei didn't you? What will I get? A week of detention? Suspension? Or..." Kira closed her eyes tight. Why does it always have to be like this? Why was she always the troublemaker? How come always she got the blame? 'What kind of a loser am I?' Kira was waiting for an answer from Nokoru's tight lips. Expecting a terrible scolding, she squirmed slightly, but opened her eyes when she heard something she never predicted.
Laughter...
Nokoru suddenly burst into laughter. He couldn't help it. Kira's state was just so funny. Nokoru never really laughed like this before. He always smiled, a silent smile, sometimes forced. But not this time, he felt pure amusement, his wasted childhood flowing back to him. His wasted years of silence. Since he became older he had to act more grown-up like than most children his age. Even though he had Suoh and Akira to company him, he still never felt so young or joyful like this before. Then the words Rijichou spoke to him rang again through his heart. 'She wil be a good friend to you in the future and present.' Now, Nokoru felt he could understand what it meant. Somewhat...
"Hey! You can't just laugh like that! Stop it!" Kira yelled sarcastically as she pulled a pouty grin on her face. "Go, gomen, Kira chan. I just can't help it. Hahah.." Nokoru spluttered like a little child, and for a split second Kira just gazed at her. She felt cheerful just standing and looking at him like that. When she was with Nokoru, she felt as if her parents didn't die, as if she didn't lose all her fortune, as if she was a rich woman in the first place. It was as if there wasn't pain in her in the first place. Then she shooked her head. The fact that she wasn't supposed to feel like this made her like her old self once more. That was when she realized he called by her given name for the first time. "You just wait, if I catch you, you are so dead." Kira replied playfully as she started to run. Nokoru laughed and ran. "Stop right there!" Kira also laughed and chased him around the lake.
"I, I am sorry, Kira chan!" Nokoru ran backwards as he felt energy surge through him. At that moment, he forgot everything he was supposed to act while he laughed there with Kira. He forgot he was the president of the Clamp high school district, forgot he wasn't close to Kira, forgot he was an Imonoyama...
Then a thought occured to Nokoru. Kira gave him something important to him that day. Something nobody taught him or showed him. Something he thought was negligible to his life. Something he was supposed to ignore for the rest of his life as an Imonoyama. But, even the smart brain of Nokoru couldn't search the words that described it. The pain and questions which distressed him in the morning somehow washed it like clear, pristine dew. He felt whole, like a normal high school boy. The laughter, the broken wall between himself and the other students, and the forgotton gap between an Imonoyama and a normal person were the ones that filled his mind. Kira treated him not like an Imonoyama, but himself. As Nokoru..
That was when he remembered that Kira always called him just Nokoru. By his name. Not Kaichou. Not Nokoru sama. Not Imonoyama. Just his name. As her equal. Kira wasn't his friend. Not just yet. But, he felt there was something he could feel that he didn't feel in front of other females. And he finally figured it out. It was equality, and that was what broke the tension and the difference between himself and Kira. As Nokoru and Kira ran and laughed like children, the sun slowly set, promising a better future, and more surprises. As he chuckled, more questions and secrets behind Kira's smile aroused Nokoru's curiosity. And with great regret and reluctance, he had to come back to an Imonoyama again.
The Imonoyama which should reflect in Kira's eyes.
'I hope she won't see through me.. Not in a time like this? Why can't I be more stronger? I shouldn't laugh and play like this with an immature child like her. I am different from her. Different...'
A silent tear fell down his cheek... When will he see the prejudice? When will he see through the mist?
'She is just as same as any other female. She is nothing special...'
Author's Note: Well, that's it.. I was bit off topic this time. Forgot to right the author's note last chapter, so I'm writing it now. Do you think the chapter is too long? I shorten it a bit this
time. If you want short chapters, I will do that. Disclaimers apply and I give thanks to people who wrote reviews. Please RnR~ Good Bye!