June 1997
Today is Mac´s first day back at work and that really causes Harm to worry because he knows that he cannot be with her al the time. And it worries him because he knows what an good influence Rose has on Mac. How Rose is able to ease her mother´s pain. On the other hand he is happy that Mac has some change and that she can work again because she loves her work. But he intended to continue with the routine they started after Mac was diagnosed. Every day Harm would come by her office and if she was in pain he would treat her and make sure she would sleep an hour on the matress she kept in her office. He enters her office for the lunch brake. "Sweetheart I have brought you your lunch." "Thank you honey. But I am actually not very hungry at the moment. I could use a cup of herbal tea and a pill and your hand." He gives her the pill and the tea and his hand and asks. "Are you that much in pain?" She nodsand says. "I´ll be fine Harm. I just need a little rest and I just need to feel you. Could you lock the door?" He locks the door and sits down beside her again on the matress. "I am going to try to close my eyes for a few minutes." " Honey get some rest. I´ll be here the whole time. I´ll be here holding your hand. I promise." He watches her fall asleep and wants her to get some rest. They have one hour lunchbrake but he wakes her up after two. "Honey you have to get up." She startles a little and sits up. "I let you sleep an hour longer. You go back to work I´ll clean up here." "Thank you Harm." He hopes that the rest gave a the strength she needed to get through the day until she was in bed in the evening. But that did not happen.
In the evening Mac was in the kitchen preparing dinner when the pain suddenly comes back to her like a thunderstorm and almost lets her fall. She does not want Harm to know. But he notices it when he enters the kitchen and sees her face. "Are you all right Mac?" "Yeah Harm I´m fine." "Mac I can see it in your eyes. Do not lie to me. It´s OK. Come here lets put you on the couch we´ll eat there OK?" She nods. He leads her to the couch and puts her under a blanket and finishes dinner. After dinner Mac thinks she is alone and thinks that Harm is in the kitchen but she does not notice that he is watching her. She starts to cry out of pain. Harm sees her crying and walks to her and pulls her into a hug. "It´s OK. You can cry. I am right here" says Harm trying to comfort her. She does not even try to hide the tears like she normally does. After the tears have subsided she admits that she feels strengthless. "Harm I am sorry I did not have the strength to hold the tears back." "It is OK sweetie. We are OK." "This is really bad Harm. This pain is really bad Harm" she cries He just keeps drawing circles on her arm with his thumb trying to calm her down and to ease the pain. He gives her another pill and after the pill has kicked in and she is sound asleep he carries her to bed. After that he returns to the livingroom to read a book and hopes, for her sake, that she will be able to sleep without wakeing up in pain. He is really worried about her.