Heartless...
Please, do not criticize a person 'heartless', 'tearless', or 'loveles'.
Because they all gave their heart, tears, and love to everyone..
Whom I loved, whom who loved me...
Gave it all away when they left me...
So there is nothing left for me...
Still, it's okay..
They won't get criticized...right?
The Clamp campus cafe seemed to be filled with smiling, cheerful students, but in the back of the cafe, there were three young men sitting in silence. Beside a nice smelling rose bush, Imonoyama Nokoru sipped his tea quietly and complimented the nice weather. Only his colleagues were just giving each other uneasy looks. The first one to break the unseemly silence was Takamura Suoh.
"Anou, Kaichou. What should we do about your cousin's case?" Suoh asked as he looked away from Nokoru's piercing, blue gaze. Being addressed after a grave silence seemed to fill Nokoru's mind with pretentious glee. "Yes, Suoh. Oh, that case. I decided to close that for now. Why would I care, right?" Nokoru answered without showing any attention to his fellow companions. Both Suoh and Akira's mouths were hanging open. This was the first time their feminist chairman said something like that about a female. Akira kept looking at Kaichou, but Suoh quickly leaned back on his chair. He could understand. Kotobuki san was indeed being rude and ignorant, but he himself never expected this from Nokoru.
'How particular of him.' Suoh looked up at Nokoru who was again back on his compliments on the fine weather. Then for a split second, Suoh noticed a quick, mischevious curve creep on the corners of Nokoru's lips, and knew what was going on. Kaichou had his own plans about this troubled lady. It was best for him and Akira to stay out of this problem. As Suoh expected, Nokoru soon stood up from his chair and cleared his throat.
"I will go and meet Rijichou, you know it has been a long time not seeing her." Nokoru declared with his voice back on being benign. Akira's face still looked puzzled, but Suoh placed a hand on the black-haired kouhai. Somehow, Akira just had to let the chairman go. The grip on Suoh's shoulder told him why.
As usual, the meeting at the clock tower was started with a peaceful calmness. The tedious climb of the stairs seemed to be even more tired than other days. Still, the small silhouette of his mother at the surface of the last flight of stairs seemed to lift Nokoru's mood. "Gonbangwa, Okaa-san." Nokoru declared his arrival, and the fan-covered face of his mother slowly turned her thin torso to him. "Had a nice day, Nokoru san?" Rijichou's cherry-red lips seemed to greet him with love, yet Nokoru couldn't feel it. "Today was actually very bizzare." Nokoru replied as he stared at the glowing sun. "Unusual? Doushite?" Rijichou blankly looked at her son beneath her fan.
"My life became bizzare and distorted since you brought Kira san. Can you tell me, why?" His mother seemed to be speechless, but slowly answered to his question. "Don't claim to know so much, Nokoru san. Do you dislike her? Is she not meeting your expectations or.." There was a short pause and "are you just simply intrested?" Nokoru did his best to hide his frustration. "All three. She is not behaving the way I want. It's not that I dislike her belonging. I only dislike her secrets and the fact that she always seems to succeed everytime when she tries to mess around with my feelings." The words he wanted to say flowed from his lips.
"So you are saying that she is special, unique, and one of a kind." Rijichou made a mild smile on her lips. For the first time, Nokoru didn't wish to see his mother's victorious smile. "Didn't I already say that she is different?" Nokoru sighed quietly. "I know I am an Imonoyama, but I don't want to hide my anger this time, Okaa-san. This is serious. Sometimes I wonder she is even human! I worry about her, I feel something I shouldn't feel in front of her, and I show it without knowing it. She makes me feel humble and simple, as if I am nothing! But she can't possibly outsmart me either. She always disobeys me. Just like today." Nokoru felt his mother's hand placed on his shoulder.
"What happened, Nokoru san?" At Rijichou's gentle words, Nokoru just had to give in. "She ran away." There was a short silence in the clock tower as the clock rang for six p.m. The worried crease on Rijichou's brow seemed to ease as she made a knowing glance at her son. "She will be back, don't be so worried. You don't have to go looking for her." Nokoru gave his mother a puzzled look. "I wasn't planning to go looking for her. I already know where she is. She went partying with her freinds." Rijichou chuckled her balmy laugh. "I am glad she gets along with our students. And one thing is for sure Nokoru san. She won't be partying on a day like this. I only hope she will come back before it gets too dark." Rijichou smiled as she gave a last tap on Nokoru's shoulder and stepped towards the stairs.
Nokoru was speechless. Wasn't his mother even feel the slightest anger? Why was she being so merciful to this particular person? He doubted that Kira would be at some place other than the party. Then behind his back, the silky voice of Rijichou flowed into his ears.
"Oh I forgot to mention. You didn't came home last night. Kira san stayed up, waiting for you. She seemed disappointed. See you at home, Nokoru san."
The only thing left for him was the setting, golden, sun. Which reminded him of amber...
The train rattled down the tracks as Kira peeked a glance at the scenery outside. The images of the green nature shifted quickly as the train gained up speed from its' last station. 'I am almost there.' Kira turned her torso to the inside of the train as she clutched onto her bouquet which tingled her nose with the scent of all bluebells, daffodils, and camelias. She picked all sorts of flowers from the garden behind the Imonoyama mall which she used as the escape route from Nokoru's office. Sighing, thinking of the angry Nokoru at the estate, the voice of the engineer came from the speaker. "We will be arriving to the Fuji station in ten minutes. The exit is on the left. Have a safe trip, thank you." Tightning her grip on the flowers, she picked her way from the crowded train towards the exit door.
Kira finally felt she was actually in Japan from the train ride. The noisy train station, the vast pine tree forests making hilly mountains, all of them seemed so unfamiliar, yet it told her that this land was her home. Before Kira could remember every single part of the Japanese culture, the train came to a screeching stop making the lush greenery into a gray wall of the station. The electronic sign that said 'Fuji Station' was visible above the tall streetlight. The station felt quiet and silent compared to the noisy train.
Walking up the steps outside, Kira looked back at the train as her long braid whipped carelessly behind her back. 'This is another part of my memory, right?' The bright light of the sunset that was flowing from the exit of the tunnel made Kira's eyes into slits as she tried to adjust her view to the bright outside. When she stepped out of the dark train station, she gaped in awe. The scenery that came before her was something made her miss Denmark. The pastoral hills and valleys was spreaded out in front of Kira, and it seemed there was no end in sight. Between the endless, hilly plains, a small temple glimmered in the corner of Kira's amber eyes. 'So it is there, right?' Kira looked up as she checked the map once more. "Yokata, good that I found the right place." Grinning soundlessly, Kira skipped energetically towards the wavering light.
After a long walk to the temple, wooden double doors blocked Kira's path. "It wasn't so small after all, huh." Kira mumbled as she looked down at the way she came, and gaped. "Whoa, I am at the top of the hills!" Somehow, her voice became pretty loud, and the door behind her creaked open. A young bhikkhuni stared up at her with a questioning look. "The good monk is praying. Will you come in and wait?" Kira made an apologetic smile and folded her hands politely. "Gomenasai for screaming out loud in such a hallowed place." The bhikkuni took Kira in to the spacious, yet clean yard of the temple. Looking at the ornately carved sculpures of the twelve animals of the Chiniese zodiac, Kira asked the bhikkuni. "How did you know I will come here?" Putting down his lantern, the bhikkuhni looked back at Kira.
"My master knows the truth within the world, and of course the truth within you." The bhikkuhni answered politely and showed Kira to a small temple which was wide opened. Looking inside of the room more carefully, Kira noticed the walls were made of red clay, which made a balmy scent in the air. There were three grand statues in the temple, all three of them sitting cross-legged. The statue in the middle was a Buddha, comparing the size, Kira noticed it was at least three times larger than her. It was made in luminous gold, and Kira could notice that no normal sculptor could finish such a masterpiece.
The two figures which were placed in each side of the Buddha were two Bodhisattvas. Both of them were also made in gleaming gold which made a color of shaded amber because of the last rays of light filtering through the gate section. The Bodhisattavas looked graceful yet powerful as the three main statues loomed upon Kira who just looked up at them in awe. The statues weren't the only ones who impressed Kira. The painting on the ceiling showed an ancient drawing of two cranes each with a peony in their beaks. It seemed they would burst out of the ceiling and dance in their natural ways.
While Kira was admiring the grand chamber of the temple, a voice came from behind her. "Come what may." Whipping her head to where the voice was coming from, Kira lowered her head in respect when she discovered who it was. The oldest monk in the temple was walking slowly towards her with a long wooden stick clutched in his hand, and bowed also. "You came, just as he predicted." The monk stood beside Kira and stared at the holy chamber in silence. "Excuse me, Hoshi sama. What did you mean by 'just as he predicted'? Did you already know I would visit here?" The wrinkled, yet benevolent expression faced Kira after a long silence after her question. "Come what may. That is the truth in this chamber. You came because you knew where to look."
As Kira tilted her head in a curious manner, the monk motioned her to step inside the chamber. "Look carefully. Do not always look up. Sometimes you should look down." The monk pointed somewhere in the bottom with his wooden pointer. Kira looked down and fell down to her knees.
The portrait of her mother shone brightly under the light of the golden Buddha. A benign smile was formed tightly on the lips of the portrait, and the eyes were the same shape and color as her's. Kira couldn't stand the overflowing love in her heart. Every pain of her heartache flowed out of her eyes in drops of pellucid liquid. She didn't care a monk was behind her. Hugging her mother's portrait firmly in her chest, the vacant spot of a mother's instinctive love seemed to fill the dent in her heart. "O, O, Oka, a, Okaa san! Okaa san...My Okaa san..." Kira uttered out the name she longed to say out loud, and a warm arm was placed on her shoulder.
"You loved her. Just like your father did." At these words, Kira again whipped her teary face towards the sage. "Wa, was Otto-san here? When, why?" Kira almost yelled out the words, but the monk didn't seem to mind a bit. "He visited here everytime in this time of the year. But, he couldn't stay long as you can." Kira then noticed a whole bunch of bouquets in the corner of the chamber. All of the flowers just like her's...
Kira couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'Otto-san never phoned me even once! I thought he was too sick, and he could climb all of the steps to visit his dead wife? Didn't he have the time to even catch a plane to Denmark.' Both of Kira's fists trembled in anger and disgust, but her distress seemed to heal when the monk's warm hands carefully patted Kira on the back. "Ho, hoshi sama?" Kira murmured as she hastily brushed away her tears even though the pristine drops kept falling down to her damp cheeks. "Doushite? Doushite? Why couldn't he love me and care about the living not the dead?" Kira exclaimed as she looked at the bundles of flowers and the portrait of her mother back and forth.
"Please don't criticize your father. He loved you as much as he loved your mother. Can't you see the stained teardrops on the portrait. It is your father's." The good monk's words were right. Beneath the transparent glass, Kira could detect round stains of liquid, and it made her cry even harder. "The truth is in this chamber, Kotobuki san. Your father's truth, something he always kept from you, to protect you. He couldn't express his love in order to protect you." Kira looked around the chamber blindly as the monk slowly went on with his speech.
"Your father couldn't visit you or phone you because he was pursued by corrupt dealers. If he used a phone's service, the dealers would have detected him and you easily. Your mother's grave used to be in Tokyo, but it was moved shortly to our temple for safety. Your father decided it would be safer to keep your mother's spirits in a special shrine where the dealers won't find. He tried for the best. Already, he knew he was dying. He passed away because of both wounds in mind and body. Imonoyama san found him few monthes ago, but he was too late. Your father was already dying from a disease caused by loneliness and grief of losing both his wife and daughter. He loved you from the beginning to the end, Kotobuki san. You should never question a love of a parent. He told me that you will visit here someday, that you will come back. Always talking about his daughter, how glad he was when the Imonoyamas agreed to bring you in. Even though his life was exhausting and weary, his last moments were blissful of the fact that you are going to have a safe life, a happy life, as a normal person, not a member of the Kotobuki buisness..."
Staring blindly at a wall opposite of the monk, a hollow smile, and short wails escaped from her lips. "I, I sinned, Hoshi sama. I am a sinner. You don't know how much I hated my father in Denmark. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't I know? Ho, hoshi sama, do you know what I've done to Otto-san?" When the monk was answerless, Kira just went on by murmuring to herself. "I resented and hated my father till the end. When my father was having a hard time, I just complained and threw a tantrum. I was always doubtful, and Otto-san wa, Otto-san wa. And I knew nothing about it...Absolutely nothing!" Kira wails hung in the air as the sun slowly set beneath the mountains and darkness fell. Covering her face with her cupped hands, she wept for her parents with the monk's silent prayer.
Falling stars...
Falling gently down to earth...
In to your arms...
An owl's hooting somewhere in the forest, a monk's silent prayer, and a girl's sobbing. 'All of their sorrows will be consoled', the stars promised. As numerous numbers of stars fell from the sky. It was a beautiful night for the ruthful...
The way to the train station didn't seem so creepy compared to the impenetrable darkness as Kira dipped her head to the monks respectfully as a farewell. "Let the virtue of the Buddha be with you." The monks chorused and the bhikkuhni motioned Kira with his lantern. "Are you showing me the way?" Kira asked the young monk. The bhikkhuni just nodded as he walked down the steepy hill sides easily. The bright light of the lantern seemed to warm Kira's broken heart into one. She have cried enough for one day.
The trip to the station was silent, as if both of them didn't know what to say to each other. Looking at the bhikkuhni, Kira could guess his age. He won't be more older than 10 or 11, and in a flurry of minutes, she arrived at the station.
"A, anou," the bhikkuhni addressed Kira when she tried to leave to the station. "What is it, good monk?" The bhikkuhni seemed to smile in pleasure as he fumbled around in his robe and pulled out a medium sized, dusty book. "My master wanted me to give this to you, Kotobuki san." Handing Kira the book, the young monk walked up the hills. Opening the book, Kira noticed it was a photo album filled with reminiscence of her childhood and her parents. Smiling, Kira looked up from the book and gazed at the faint light that flickered in the darkness. "A, anou!" Kira yelled at the light. "Arigato, thank you so much! Ja ne!" The lantern seemed to tilt as if the bhikkuhni bowed down slightly as he noticed Kira's friendly wave.
Smiling gleefully, Kira tucked the album inside her school bag and made a congenial gaze at the light which was moving gradually farther away. 'I learned a lot today Okaa-san, Otto-san. I knew that holding back your tears isn't always the perfect way to solve a problem. I may not cry, but I can't hide this emptiness in my heart. Go, gomenasai, I always tried to see your love, that is why I never felt it.' Rubbing away the tears away from her cheeks, Kira bowed down on her knees toward the temple. 'My parents are not dead. They are not. It is not a good-bye forever.' Standing up again, Kira suddenly remebered the first day she came to Tokyo.
'It is not a good-bye forever.'
Kira looked at the dimming light once more and whipped her head as she skipped down the steps towards the train station. The station wasn't so crowded as she expected and glanced up at the clock beside the ticket counter. The arrow was pointed to 8 p.m. 'Gosh, I am late. It would be take at least an hour to get to Tokyo again.' After the shock about the death of her father, Kira seemed to understand what kind of trouble she was in. Nokoru would be so mad at her! How much Kira tried to think of a petty trick to get over the one-week detention she was going to face, she couldn't think of a good excuse to outsmart Nokoru.
The train hooted from the other direction, and as Kira sat down on a vacant seat, another problem popped in her mind. 'What should I say when Nokoru asks where I have been?' She couldn't possibly say she have been in a temple in the mountains! He would think she was lying. She also can't say the truth about praying about her dead mother. He would also think it would be a lie. 'What should I do.' As her distress went deeper into her heart, Kira glanced at the musty album that was given to her by the eldest monk. She only looked at the first page. 'Nokoru, Nokoru..'
His name seemed to make all her problems away even though he was the cause of her worries. Flipping through the pages, Kira flipped the last page open. There it was. The photo of Nokoru and her, sitting together in the flower garden, smiling brightly at the camera. The smile of the young blonde boy in the photo made a mild smile on Kira's lips as looked at the next page. This was the one she got a candid shot of Nokoru under a cherry blossom tree. It was beautiful.
Slowly and carefully with her fingers, Kira started to cut the photo with her fingers so only Nokoru's head could show, into a small oval. Luckily no part of the wonderful smile was ripped off, and Kira gently clipped the photo into the empty space of her locket. When she closed the locket again, the letters engraved inn gold stood out under the bright lights of the train. 'The person whom I love.'
'Otto-san gave up his life for mine. He lived a life as a recluse, because he loved me. Can I do that? Give up love for his happiness? For Nokoru?'
It was almost nine o' clock, yer Kira was still not home. Nokrou sighed in the kitchen looking inside the steaming pot. Somehow he didn't feel so angry after the talk with his mother at the clock tower. 'Kira san stayed up, waiting for you.' Somehow after the conversation with Rijichou, Nokoru felt his anger soothing down. He was a ladies' man after all. That was what he was. That was what he had to be. Forgotton in his daydreaming about his true belonging and the conversation he would have in order to get some answers from Kira, Nokoru almost forgot to turn down the heat from max into min. The lid clinked and clanked which made Nokoru blink from his thoughts.
"Damn it." Nokoru swore under his breath as he turned the gas valve off. He even forgot how hot the pot was! Touching the gleaming, hot iron sent an intense burn on Nokoru's delicate palm. Swearing something vile under his breath, Nokoru peered inside the pot and smiled in relief. "Wakata, it smells good at least." Pouring some cold water on his burned palm, Nokoru's maid, Geiko ran into the kitchen. "What is it, Nokoru sama? Did you get hurt? I warned you to let me cook whatever you are making!" Geiko fussed as she looked at Nokoru's red, swollen palm.
"It doesn't hurt that much, Geiko san. Oh, and can you do me a favor. Can you take some of the soup from the pot and a first-aid kit to Kira's room?" Nokoru made a comforting grin as he made an apologetic look in his eyes. Shaking her head, Geiko did what she was asked for. When Nokoru could hear Geiko climbing up the stairs to Kira's room, Nokoru brushed off the water off his hand. "Well, I hope it won't be so serious."
It was past nine. Still closing his fingers around the painful part of the burn, Nokoru paced restlessly under the staircase. He sat down on the stairs for a few minutes and paced some more. "Why don't you wait for her in your room, I will tell you when she is here. Or do you feel sorry for worrying her so much last night?" Nokoru's pacing stopped abruptly when he saw Rijichou's prescence in her elegant lace gown, a Japanese fan still covering her eyes. "You again saw me from your monitors. Old habits die hard, ne?" Nokoru said jokingly as he made a quick bow to Rijichou. "I never knew you cared so much about her." Rijichou smiled. "I am only waiting for her to make sure she attends to her detention class every day." Nokoru answered rather grimly.
"Oh is that so." Rijichou made another mysterious smile as she glided down back to her room. Sighing, Nokoru just hunkered down to the floor, and simply lay down with a thump, just like that on the floor. 'Is it only for your mother?' A voice inside him questioned. 'Of course it is. If I am generous to her, maybe Okaa-san would love me. Love me more than just an ordinary stranger.' 'I know that is only half of your answer.' Nokoru squinted his eyes up at the ceiling. 'No way, no way, no way.' "Nokoru, Nokoru, Nokoru kun!"
'Huh? Who is calling me?' Nokoru suddenly flickered his eyes open and there she was, Kira. The most surprising thing was, she was almost in tears. "What are you doing here, sleeping on the floor!" Kira was kneeling down beside him as Nokoru slowly got up and adjusted his eyes to the clock. It was almost ten. His sapphire blue eyes found amber's and somehow he just felt dazed. "Are you okay, Nokoru? Answer me, are you alright? Do you have a fever?" Kira's voice showed desperation and fear as she put her soft hand on Nokoru's forehead. 'She could have just ignored me.' Nokoru blinked his eyes stupidly and brushed Kira's hand away.
"I am fine. I just fell asleep that's all. As for you, you are in big trouble." Nokoru made his voice into a serious tone, yet regretted his behaviour when he saw Kira's eyes almost welling up in tears. He just couldn't stand a female crying because of him. "Go, gomene, come I'll help you to your room." Nokoru got up and noticed Kira's shoulder. It was still wet in crimson liquid. 'So she still didn't put a bandage on.' Nokoru looked away shamefully from Kira's dumbfounded expression. As if Kira was exhausted, she just followed his lead without a fuss. Unlike other days.
Kira's bedroom wasn't big nor ornate as his, but it was cozy and warm. Since this was the first time he was in her room, Nokoru looked around as if this would be the first and last time to be in here. Settling down Kira on one of the armchairs, Nokoru sat on one of them too. "You should have at least put something on your injury, silly." It was usually Kira who teased his character. This time it was the other way around. Kira would have complained of getting help, but not this time. She just quietly obeyed him and just looked at her injury as Nokoru carefully rolled up her sleeve.
'Maybe she is sorry of her immature behaviour at school.' Nokoru guessed and gasped as he looked at the wound. The sticky blood was matted under the fabric and it was so swollen. "Didn't it even hurt? Why did you run off, anyway? You went partying with Anita san, right?" Nokoru asked as he gently cared his patient.
Kira was taken aback. 'Right, partying when it is Okaa-san's deathday.' Yet, she was exhausted and tired, and that was when she finally realized the pain on her arm and hunger. A warm bowl was on her table, but she didn't want to be rude. Nokoru seemed to notice her exhaustion anyway as she just looked at him soundlessly. The blonde haired boy looked up from Kira's wound, now tightly bandaged. "It could have been serious, you know." Nokoru made a benign smile, but was confused when he saw Kira's calmness as her amber eyes were fixed on his because Kira usually looked away from him.
Nokoru's adam's apple tingled uneasily as his insecurity boosted up. He never got up to a female's face close as this, and what about this awkward silence? For this time, Nokoru desperately wished Kira to be her chatty self again. Looking at Kira's face closely, Nokoru noticed it was prettier than he thought it would be. Especially her amber eyes. This amber wasn't the playful, reckless ones in school, they looked, they looked...
Fragile.
'Yes, fragile.' Nokoru wondered, and when he was just about to look closer into them, Kira interrupted his thoughts. "Oh my gosh, look at your hand, Nokoru!" Kira exclaimed as she clapped her hands over her mouth. "It' it's nothing." Nokoru stammered. The amber were once again filled with strength and he was curious of where all those power came from. "Look who is talking." Kira said sarcastically as she held Nokoru's swolled hands into hers. Nokoru thought the burn was going to sting, but it was quite the opposite. Kira's cold hands were so cool against his, and this time he didn't brush them away.
Still, the irrepressible tension in the air didn't seem to ease, yet Kira's eyes were changed as if she was determined to close off her mind. Reluctantly, Nokoru pushed Kira's hands away. "Your hungry, right? I made carrot soup, your favorite." Nokoru decided to say some kind of conversation as he rose from his seat, looking up at the painting on the ceiling instead of mesmerizing himself by those two amber pair of jewels. "A, arigato." Kira was grateful as she held Nokoru's hand again.
"What? You don't have to worry about it, Kira san. I am okay, thanks to you." Nokoru said, blushing furiously. "No, it should stay cool, or else that hand will be scarred for the rest of your life! And I don't want Takamura san to be mad at me because it is all my fault that you are hurt." Kira said fiercely as she tried her best not to blush. Fumbling inside her school bag, Kira pulled out a white handkercheif which was decorated in blue thread around the edges. "Will you wait here for a bit?" Kira said hurriedly as she half-ran to the bathroom.
Immersing the fabric in ice cold water, Kira squeezed the dripping liquid and made haste to where Nokoru was sitting who was trying his best to decipher the meaning of Kira sudden obedience and gloom. "Here." Wrapping the handkercheif professionally around Nokoru's burnt hand, Nokoru pulled out his hand from her grip. 'How can she do this without blushing? And why is my face so hot?' "Look, it's really okay." Kira shook her head as if she couldn't seem to get his words. "No you look, Nokoru. You may be a genious in everything, but you are just not street smart. That burn is serious, and I bet you should cool if off for a bit of more time, unless you want me to hold you hand every where you go." Kira said as she tried to muffle her laughter.
Nokoru just had to give in, and stood up quickly from the arm chair as soon as Kira finished tying the wet cloth on his pristine palm. Striding toward the door, Nokoru hesitated at the doorway and looked back. Kira was just sitting there quietly looking at him innocently. Somehow the words 'Arigato Kira chan' couldn't come out of his mouth, instead a whole different set of words slid out of his tongue.
"You got a whole week of detention starting tomorrow." Nokoru said, and made a voluminous sigh of relief when he detected there were no disappointment in the pair of amber eyes. "I know. I'll be there, I promise. Good night." Kira said, pulling a fake smile on her face. At that, the door closed abruptly.
Leaning against the closed door, Nokoru breathed heavily as if he just ran in a marathon. The cool handkercheif was really helping the pain to ease as Kira predicted, but the intense heat of his face apparently didn't cool down. Trying to walk back to his own room, Nokoru's feet felt as if it was totally mired, and his feeble eyes traced down to his palm. 'I , I can't be. It' it can't be. I am not. Am I..? Actually?' That was when Nokoru felt a distant drip of a waterdrop. Or a teardrop...
Nokoru's prediction could have been right. Sipping the warm, tasty liquid into her lips, a tear or two slided down into the bowl. That was when Kira realized that those two drops of fluid was her tears. "I am wasting my tears." Kira murmured under more tears as she pushed the spoon out of her mouth, and spooned some more soup into her mouth, trying to stifle her tears. "Why am I crying when it's so delicious. So delicious. So good. A good day. Yes, a good day like any other..." Her voice seemed to be lost when that day's reminiscence flooded back which she tried so hard to ignore.
Flashback, Kira's pov
It was a warm, spring day when my mother visited the house after a long period of time in the hospital.
"I am so glad you came back home, Okaa-san. I should call Otto-san to celebrate. We can all go to that Italian restautant you like, and.."
I stopped abruptly, my hand stretched out to the phone, when I saw Okaa-san's matted look in her eyes. It looked tired and fragile.
"I don't think Otto-san is going to come. He is too busy with his buisness ne, Kira?" I just had to obey my mother's trembling favor. I knew that my mother wasn't completely healed yet and she was ill, but I just kept telling myself that she was healthy and okay. Still, her sallow and gaunt face kept shaking me up.
"Otto-san doesn't go up to the comapny that much nowadays anyway. The maids and butlers seem to leave this estate too. Whatever, what are you making Okaa-san?" I asked in an immature manner, ripping my mother's heart in every single word. Still, she composed herself since she was the great Kotobuki mistress herself.
"Why don't we just spend today just for the two of us since I am making carrot soup." Okaa-san said happily.
"What? No, I hate carrots! Okaa-san, you know how much I hate carrots!" I threw a tantrum tactlessly and ripped another part of Okaa-san.
"Well, we will try to eat it together when I come back from the hospital. Got to change your picky habits, eh?" It took me years to figure out that Okaa-san was faking a smile, stifling wails of pain, actually dying from the disease, all for me at that day.
"Are you going back to that stupid hospital again?" Again, Okaa-san made a warm yet painful smile.
"There the soup is finally done. Please eat, I know you are hungry." She said winking, and walked out of the kitchen with Hendrickson san's help.
"Why can't you stay with me?" I yelled out the window when I saw my mother heading to her limo.
"I'll be back, soon Kira. It's not a good-bye forever. I'll come back." How naive and stupid I was, I didn't know Okaa-san only had a couple of hours to live. She only said those words to comfort me. In order to cut off my picky habits before she would die...
I waited, and waited for my mother to come back. The sun fell down over the horizon and night fell. Neither Hendrickson-san, Otto-san, or Okaa-san came home. I felt hunger creeping over my stomach and how much I tried not to peer at the hot pot of soup, I walked slowly up to it, and poured some in a porcelain bowl.
I ate some, and I swear it was the most delicious food I ate in my lifetime, and the last food I ate with such happiness and gleefulness.
When I finished my bowl and tried to get some more, the phone rang. No maids offered to get it, so I strode and picked up the phone.
I was in a good mood, and I said an affable 'Hello' into the receiver. Well, the returned greeting wasn't what I wanted to hear. As I just dropped the phone, not wanting to hear Hendrickson's muffled voice. I just looked back at the empty soup bowl.
The bowl which was filled with warm soup just a minute ago was now filled with my tears in a second....
Author's Note: Well, how was it? The story went a bit too long this time, but I hope you will still like it. If you didn't know what a 'bhikkuhni' or a
'bodhisattva' is, please look under.
bhikkuhni: a young, child monk.
bodhisattav: a female Buddha.
I hope this would be a help in your reading~^o^
Replies To Reviews: I think I should start to write replies to thank for the kindly written reviews!
James Birdsong: Thanks for keep reading all of my chapters. I am glad of your patience for waiting my next chapter. Better write some romance scenes
right?
Pastillas de Leche: Was 'For that Special One' the best chaper so far? I am glad, and she obtained the injury in the seventh chapter because she dropped
the gliding gears in the hallway. One of them may had a sharp edge, ne?
~Again thanks for reviewing, please RnR~