Mad Hatter Hero

When Inko saw her son disappear down a hole that suddenly materialized in the middle of the living room floor, her first thought was relief that he had a Quirk after all. The hole disappeared, and what joy Inko felt turned into icy fear. She smashed through the floor with a hammer and only found an irate neighbor staring up at her.

She called the police. She called every Hero Agency, starting with All Might and working her way down the hero rankings. She printed out missing posters and stapled them to telephone poles, handed out fliers, and asked passersby if they saw a toddler with green hair.

Coming home dejected as the sun set, Inko smelled tea. Standing on the arm of a chair, teetering precariously as he snatched a teapot off the stove and waltzed from chair to counter back down to the floor, Izuku wore a dusty top hat, lime green, with a cloth band wrapped about it that matched his hair and eyes. His patchy top coat shone emerald despite the dust caking it, and his pants had teacups and teapots embroidered across the legs.

"Why, what a fantastic coincidence!" Izuku said cheerfully, sloshing tea everywhere. "The kettle just whistled."

Inko's breath caught. As much as she wanted to believe her son had come home, she saw nothing of her precious baby boy in Izuku's manic eyes and whimsical gesticulation.

"What… what happened to you?"

Izuku grinned and poured her a cup. Inko took it with trembling hands and found the tea surprisingly good, with notes of citrus and honey.

"Why, I went to a most splendiferous tea party! Care for a biscuit?"

Ochako was so distracted by the bizarre wardrobe and ostentatious gait of the boy in front of her, that she almost missed him pitching forward as his shoe caught on a crack in the sidewalk. She tapped him with her fingertips, and he started floating away.

As his hat drifted off, Izuku desperately swam towards it, shouting and flailing wildly. Ochako nearly undid her Quirk, if only to keep his hat from floating off, before Izuku got his fingertips around the brim.

"Phew! A gentleman is simply not a gentleman without his hat, eh?" Izuku stood up-side-down and cocked his head at her. "Why are you walking funny?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You're all topsy-turvy, feet in the sky. Don't you know all the blood will rush to your head?" Izuku made an overly-exaggerated thinking pose. "Then again, that might help for the test. Clever thinking, little lady."

Ochako gaped at him. "I'm not up-side-down, you are!"

"Really?" Izuku looked down. "Nope. Feet are right below me, just like they always are." He pulled an oversized pocket watch out of his jacket. "Time's a ticking, better get a hurry-on!"

Izuku strode off, walking through air as though he had an invisible path under his feet. He twisted as he walked, then made a loop de loop and corkscrewed through the air a few times. Once he was upright, Ochako released her quirk. Izuku didn't fall back to the ground.

Iida leaned to the left. The top hat blocking his view leaned with him. Iida tried standing up, and the top hat inexplicably stretched higher.

"Excuse me!" Iida called out.

Izuku looked back at him. "Most certainly not! Present Mic hasn't finished explaining the test yet."

So perplexed by his response, Iida failed to voice his complaint.

In front of the entrance area, Iida stomped towards the student who pestered his peers into accepting cups of tea.

"Excuse me!"

"Of course. Here you go."

Iida found himself with a cup of hot tea in hand and another profound lack of words. He took a sip and had such a bitter taste assault his tongue that he nearly spat it out.

"This tea is disgusting!"

"Really?" Izuku tilted his head. "How odd. Are you sure you drank it right?"

Iida watched other students sipping tea from the same pot Izuku had poured for him. None remarked on its bitterness.

"Try smiling first. A pleasant attitude makes everything taste better."

Left with that perplexing advice, Iida set the teacup aside.

Izuku strode up to the doors and knocked. They swung open, and Izuku waltzed through before they closed again.

"What the- did he somehow cheat?"

Seconds later, the doors opened again. Present Mic shouted, "What are you waiting for, the test - wait, how did he get in there? And are those robots drinking tea?"

Iida sprinted in and found Izuku sitting on a fluffy green blanket, with teacups and plates of biscuits spread around. A dozen robots sat around, drinking teacups, nodding sagely, and offering courteous beeps and boops as Izuku regaled them with tales of some adventure through a rabbit hole. Aoyama tried firing a beam into the crowd. The beam bent mid-air, bounced off a teacup, and disappeared into the sky. Another student tried punching at them and tripped over their own tied-together shoelaces.

Seeing a common pattern, Iida went to find other robots to destroy. Iida promptly ran away when one robot emerged that proved far too big for him to handle. He passed Izuku, sitting on a bent lamp post and digging around in his top hat. He pulled out a yellow, V-shaped tuft and tossed it aside. "Too many ghosts." His hand emerged with a billowing tuft of fire. "Too cold."

"What are you doing?" Iida asked. "The Zero-pointer is coming this way!"

"That's precisely why I'm here." He threw away a set of wings.

"But it's worth zero points!"

"Worth about sixty, actually." Izuku pulled out a set of rabbit ears. "Ah, perfect!" He put them on and did a seductive twirl with his legs. "How do I look?"

Iida's cheeks reddened. "That is highly inappropriate!"

"You sure? I think it's the right hat for the job. Watch."

Iida watched as Izuku leapt through the air, called out one of Miruko's special moves, and kicked the zero pointer into a crater. He watched as Izuku flipped a concrete slab with his leg, pulled out Ochako, dusted her off, and handed her a cup of tea from his coat sleeve.

He watched as Izuku sashayed into Classroom 1-A, with a total of sixty points from the exam. Izuku handed him a cup of tea.

"I do believe you forgot this."

Iida recognized the chipped, floral-print china. Even though the tea had steam wafting from it, as though freshly brewed, Iida knew in his heart that it was the same cup from weeks ago.

"Try smiling first."

Iida chuckled and took a sip. Paused. Took another. It truly was an excellent blend.

Shigaraki looked around the room of villains and said, "That's how we kill All Might. Any questions?"

"Do you have any sugar? I do believe this brew could use a pinch more."

The villains parted. Towards the back, Izuku sat on his top hat, sipping tea out of a cracked cup that kept leaking as he drank from it.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Shigaraki seethed.

"I'm on a field trip. I tripped quite nicely, but I haven't found the field yet."

One of the villains sniggered. "Oh, he's tripping, alright. Bet that tea's got good shit in it."

As the other villains joined in on the laughter, Shigaraki put together what Izuku meant by 'field trip'. "You're from U.A."

"Well spotted! Would you like a cookie?"

Shigaraki scratched at his neck. "Kill him!"

The nearest villain turned rocky and stomped towards him. He slipped on the puddle of tea and crushed five villains behind him.

Izuku pulled out a pocket watch. "Would you look at that? It's time for clobbering!" He swept his hat off the floor and sidestepped as two villains charged at him. They knocked heads and fell in a heap, tripping a third and bowling over three more. Within seconds of twirling and ducking, Izuku stood around a ring of groaning, incapacitated villains with teacup in hand.

"Nomu." Shigaraki pointed. "Kill."

The Nomu punched Izuku in the face. Izuku tumbled through the air, hit the far wall, and held up his teacup. The tea sloshed through the air and landed perfectly in the cup.

"Phew!" Izuku dusted himself off and took a sip. "Almost spilled a drop."

The Nomu raced forward again and tripped on a villain. As the Nomu righted itself, Izuku dug around his hat.

"Say," Izuku asked, "You wanted to meet All Might, right?"

"I want to kill him!"

"Seems like a lot of trouble to go through when he'll die sooner or later, but who am I to judge another man for his hobbies? I only judge people on their taste in hats. Do you like this one?"

Izuku wore the twin tufts of All Might's hair. His body bulged out, nearly bursting the stitching on his suit.

"Have no fear, for I am…" Izuku coughed up blood and immediately shrank. "Coughing up blood! Talk about false advertising."

He slipped off the headband and looked in dismay at his teacup. "Oh bother, I got some blood in my tea! Simply unbearable. I have no idea how the Brits drink it like this. Hold on, I'll clean it up."

Izuku dug around some more until he found a laundry machine lid. When he put it on, white machinery engulfed him.

"Wash!"

Pressurized water got all the blood off the floor. It also threw the Nomu through a wall and into the atmosphere.

"There! All clean. Have some tea, why don't you? It'll do wonders for your chapped lips."

Too stunned to think, Shigaraki numbly accepted the tea cup.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a field to find."

Izuku walked forwards and disappeared into a black cloud. When Izuku reappeared at the USJ, he looked around and said, "Oh! There it is!"

Kurogiri appeared next to Shigaraki and looked around at the mess. "What happened?"

Shigaraki looked down at the teacup, which refused to dissolve despite all ten fingertips touching it.

"I have a new favorite person I want to kill."

The moment Midnight started the match, Todoroki sent a wave of ice across the field. Izuku grinned as the ice enveloped him.

The crowd collectively groaned at another anticlimactic match. Midnight gave a countdown. As she hit three, Izuku asked, "What are you all looking at?"

Midnight flinched and turned around. Izuku stood on a teapot, tipping its spout to pour out a cup of tea and drinking it with his other foot. The crowd gasped as they finally saw Izuku free from the ice.

"Izuku Midoriya, you are out of bounds."

"Out of bounds? Why, I think I have all the bounds in the world! Let's see."

Izuku leapt off the teapot he was standing on. A teacup fell out of his pants leg, and Izuku landed precariously atop it, pinwheeling his arms. A deck of cards fluttered out his sleeves, while a toad hopped out of his jacket pocket.

"And that's one bound. Would you like to see some more?"

Over the intercom, Aizawa said, "Seeing that Midoriya is not touching the ground due to his quirk, he is not out of bounds. However, he has twelve seconds to re-enter the ring."

Izuku skipped his way forward, teacups tumbling out of sleeves and pockets to form his path, and with a twirl, he re-entered the ring. Todoroki warily watched him while waiting for his body to warm up.

Izuku dug into his hat. Todoroki tensed as random hats, stopwatches, and other objects went flying. When he found a ball of fire, Izuku squinted suspiciously at it.

"Last thing the lad needs is a matching scar. Let's see… and aha!"

The top hat stretched out as Izuku pulled out an entire standing mirror. He set it down and slapped the top.

"You look like you need to reflect on your goals in life," Izuku said. "This ought to help."

Todoroki flung a wave of ice forward. His reflection answered with a wave of fire. Elements collided in a thunderous explosion of steam. Izuku sat on a giant toadstool, sipping tea, entirely unbothered by chunks of ice crashing around him.

As one chunk hurtled towards Izuku's head, he held up his teacup. The head-sized chunk vanished with a dainty splash. "I've always wondered what the fuss was about with iced tea." He took a sip of the still-steaming tea. "Can't tell the difference."

Once the steam cleared, Todoroki stared down the reflection in the mirror. The reflection peeled off like a piece of tape, staggering forward on spindly glass legs. Fires flickered along his left side.

"I should mention," Izuku said, "That mirror makes you face your own worst enemy."

Todoroki glanced up at the stands, where his father watched with crossed arms. "Your mirror is wrong."

"Is it? Mirror, do you think you're wrong?"

The reflection lashed out with a wave of fire. Todoroki covered himself with ice and ducked aside. For minutes, they traded blows, Todoroki only using ice, and his reflection only using fire. Izuku, meanwhile, sat at the side of the ring, having a tea-party with a stuffed rabbit, a cat, and the queen of hearts from a deck of cards.

Todoroki wheezed as his skin grew numb from the cold. He looked down at his frost-coated arm and wondered if Recovery Girl could fix frostbite. His reflection, meanwhile, panted and sweated as its skin reddened all along its arm.

"I will never use her ice," the reflection spat. "Not after what mother did to us."

Todoroki flung ice with a growl. "Mother had nothing to do with it. It was all his fault!"

"His fault she hurt us?" The reflection sneered. "Don't make me laugh. Father at least cared enough to make us strong. She never cared at all, or why else did she say nothing, and do nothing except give us this scar?"

Todoroki felt himself hyperventilating. His head spun, and the only thing keeping him on his feet was the shell of ice encasing his legs.

"Shut up!" Todoroki impaled his reflection with an icicle. It looked down at the hole in its chest."

"I won't let you make me use it!" The reflection roared. Fire rose in a column, and Todoroki backed away from the heat. "You hear me! Never!"

Bits of charred glass flecked away as the reflection made a faltering step forward. Watching the reflection burn, Todoroki felt much smaller, a child again, watching Touya use fire until it burned him and hearing that he had burned until not even his teeth remained.

When his reflection collapsed into a pile of ash, Todoroki looked back in the mirror. Ice entombed his face. His eyes stared out, black and shriveled, and his face had the gaunt, desiccated pallor of a mummified caveman.

Todoroki looked down at his own hand. Droplets of blood had crystallized into dull garnets studding his frostbitten fingers. He couldn't even bend them. Todoroki looked back up, and in the mirror, he only saw a wall of ice.

Todoroki could not use his fire. Would not. But looking into that mirror, and knowing his fate would mirror Touya's if he carried down his path, Todoroki felt something within him snap. Flames curled around his frozen limbs. Water dripped around his feet and rose in plumes of steam, blurring his vision. When the steam cleared, Todoroki's reflection stared at him out of the thawed mirror.

"Who cares what he thinks?" it asked.

Todoroki gritted his teeth. Of course he doesn't care. He never cared.

He doesn't care.

In the mirror, he saw Endeavor. This Endeavor stared back without any flames on his face. The sight sent a sharp pang through Shoto's heart. Trying to distract himself, he observed everyone else in the mirror. Midnight had a reserved, bookish appearance, the students behind her looked like funhouse versions of themselves, and All Might had a shrunken doppelganger.

The only person without a reflection was Izuku.

Wreathing himself in fire and summoning a spear of ice, Todoroki turned towards Midoriya. His breaths came in shuddering gasps, and his arm throbbed painfully as feeling returned to it, but he stood tall and waited for Midoriya to make his move.

Izuku set his teacup down. The china made a ponderous clink that echoed across the silent arena. Standing from his fungal seat, Izuku waltzed over, his every body-signal speaking of joy and whimsy while sending jolts of terror down Todoroki's spine.

Todoroki didn't move as Izuku walked up to him, patted his shoulder, and said, "Give the old chum a good whack for me, would you?"

This time, when Izuku stepped out of bounds, a teacup didn't miraculously appear beneath his foot.

Shigaraki seethed as Stain disappeared into the black mist. "Stupid charisma checks. Why don't we just kill him?"

"Have patience," Kurogiri said. "He only refused to join you for now. He could become a valuable partner down the road."

"Or he could take the spotlight away from us. No one even knows who we are, while everyone's talking about him. It's not fair! If it wasn't for that tea-drinking weirdo, we would've killed All Might."

Kurogiri kept his thoughts of the plan's dismal prospects for success to himself. Instead, he asked, "How are you going to make your statement now?"

Shigaraki grinned. "Simple. We'll use the Nomu. All of them. If he wants to make headlines, I'll make a bigger one."

"Doctor Kyudai won't be happy with-"

"Is he in charge?"

Kurogiri grimaced. "No, Tomura. You are."

"That's right. Get portals ready. We're leaving now." Then he called out, "Nomu, come here!"

Tomura waited. No one showed up. "Nomu! Get over here!"

From another room came the gentle clink of china and the smell of freshly brewed tea. Tomura swore and sprinted towards the Nomu. The hulking monstrosities sat on a blanket, sipping tea, while Izuku served them and made small talk.

"Why hello there, Tsubasa. Haven't seen you since primary school! How have you been?"

The Nomu warbled and whistled mournfully at him. Izuku shook his head and said, "What a shame. It's a good thing I came when I did. I have just the brew for this sort of situation. Tell me, how's the flavor? Not too bitter?"

The Nomu daintily sipped and gave a grunt. Izuku took out a jar of sugar, poured in an inhuman amount, and gave it a stir. The Nomu drank down the sugar slurry and licked its chops. Almost immediately, its face started melting. Its body turned to black sludge, and it gave one final gurgle before the sludge bubbled and vanished into gray vapor.

The other Nomu all melted as well. Izuku took one of their unfinished cups, took a long swallow, and said, "Don't think any amount of sugar's going to fix that taste." He held it out towards Shigaraki and asked, "What do you think?"

"Fake heroes like you need to be purged," Stain said as he stalked towards the hero student lying before him. "Once your ilk are all gone and only the real heroes remain, the flawed hero system will heal. All Might will no longer stand alone!"

"What makes a hero fake?"

Stain turned and threw a knife. Izuku didn't even blink as the blade glanced off his teacup and cut a single lock of hair above his ear.

"Real heroes don't save people for money. They save them because it's the right thing to do."

Izuku upended his hat and shook it. A table and two chairs tumbled out, rolling across the alleyway before stopping upright between him and Stain. A tablecloth, folded like an origami crane, flapped its wings, and unfolded itself over the table.

"Then, by that standard, would All Might be a fake hero as well? He gets paid more than anyone else in the industry."

"And he gives most of it away to charity. And even if he didn't get paid, he would continue to save people."

Izuku took a chair, set a pot of tea on the table, and laid out two cups. "If he didn't get paid, then would he be able to save as many people? Even All Might has to eat, and the only money growing on trees around here isn't legal tender in this neck of the woods."

Stain warily examined the table, as if expecting it to pounce at him. He glanced back at Native and Iida, who remained paralyzed on the ground.

"You're trying to distract me. Buying time until they can move again."

"Having a nice cup of tea and discussing the finer points of the hero industry sounds far more pleasant than engaging in a spot of fisticuffs, does it not?"

Stain slashed down at the table. Izuku shoved the table aside with his foot, then pushed the chair forwards. Stain pitched forward, his knee stuck on the back of the chair. Even as he fell, Stain threw two knives. Izuku kicked the table, and the two teacups jumped, knocking the knives aside.

Stain rolled, and Izuku hooked the underside of the chair with his foot. As Stain rose, the chair slammed into the backs of his kneecaps, forcing them to bend. He landed on the chair. His sword was tucked into an umbrella holder, his knives hung from a clothesline, and his hands held a freshly steaming cup of tea.

Stain dropped the cup. It wobbled, but not a single drop spilled.

"Hero students aren't supposed to use their Quirk."

"Then it's a good thing I'm Quirkless, isn't it?" Izuku held up his foot and rammed his toes through the top of his tattered boot. "See? Extra pinky joint."

Stain skeptically eyed Izuku digging into his hat, shoulder inside the brim, for a jar of sugar. "What are you?"

Izuku smiled. "I'm a hero. Do you want one scoop or two?"

Stain took a sip and asked for two scoops. He found the tea and conversation so enjoyable that he didn't notice the handcuffs until the police officers took his teacup from him.

Bakugo clenched his hands. The momentary excitement of being set against All Might quickly vanished when Aizawa announced his partner. Other people brushed off Deku's craziness as a part of his Quirk, but Bakugo knew better. They all heard him say he didn't have a Quirk. The doctor said so. Then he showed up at school one day like a completely different person, drinking his stupid tea and wearing his stupid hat.

Bakugo's blood boiled, but he kept his anger on a tight leash as they took the bus over to the training ground. Once they were alone, Bakugo grabbed Deku's coat and hauled him off his feet.

"Listen here, Deku. You're not going to screw this up for me. Got it?"

Izuku grinned. "Perish the thought! It'd be the simplest thing to win this little game of theirs. Just a quick hop over the fence, and-"

Bakugo threw him into a wall. Deku's hat leaned precariously forwards, yet no matter how he shook him, it never fell. "You're not going anywhere," Bakugo snarled. "And you're not doing anything with All Might either. You're going to sit there, drink your stupid tea, and watch me kick All Might's ass. You got it?"

Izuku slipped out of his coat, revealing a second coat underneath. He tipped his hat and said, "If that's what you wish."

Left holding Deku's first coat, Bakugo scorched it between his palms. The dust smelled like Earl Grey. Scrubbing his hands until not a trace of the ash remained, Bakugo stormed over to the largest open area he could find and waited with his arms crossed.

"How bold of you!"

Bakugo jumped, startled. All Might stood behind him. He hadn't even heard him approach. He threw a blast at him, but All Might powered through it and flicked Bakugo with one finger. It felt like he got hit by a train.

"Are you hoping to distract me long enough for your partner to escape?" All Might asked. "A foolish choice, dividing your forces. It'll make you all the easier to conquer."

"Quit paraphrasing Napoleonic tactics at me and fucking die already!"

Bakugo hit him with both palms, throwing everything he had into it. All Might punched the air. A shockwave pierced the explosion like a lance and knocked the wind out of Bakugo.

When he landed, he looked up and saw Deku sitting on a fire hydrant, impossibly balanced at the top, with a teacup in one hand and a jar of honey in the other. With his teeth, he spooned out a dollop of honey and stirred it into the tea.

"Hit him in the pancreas," Izuku advised. "No wait, he doesn't have one of those. Try his liver."

"Shut up."

As Bakugo stood, All Might strode into view. "So that's where you've been… are you drinking tea?"

"Kacchan told me to."

All Might coughed awkwardly. "Right. Well, the two of you are no match for me, All Might! Have at thee!"

To Bakugo's eternal frustration, All Might lunged at Deku first. His punch landed squarely in Deku's jaw. He went flying like a missile off the fire hydrant and slammed into a light pole. The pole bent back unnaturally far, like springy wood, then catapulted Izuku across the training ground.

All Might and Bakugo both watched as Izuku sailed right through the exit gate.

"Well, Kacchan, you were right!" Izuku called just after the buzzer sounded. "You won without me lifting a finger."

All that remained of the practice area after Katsuki's temper tantrum was a smoking crater, an All Might-shaped section of wall, and a lone teacup balanced atop a fire hydrant.

Shigaraki checked under the table. He threw open every drawer and cabinet. He burned all the tea and dusted every mug, teacup, and kettle. Satisfied that he had Deku-proofed the room, he slammed the door, locked five separate deadbolts, and nailed it to the doorframe. The windows were boarded shut, and the air vents were stuffed full of coffee grounds. For good measure, he ordered Kurogiri not to use his powers, stuffed him in a glass bottle, and hid it inside the bar's minifridge.

"I can't tell if you're paranoid or just crazy," Dabi quipped.

Shigaraki stared him down with bloodshot eyes. "I'm not crazy, he's crazy! Every time, he's always there with a teacup and that stupid top hat. Well, not this time!"

The League members exchanged a look. Clinically insane bosses came with the territory of villainy, and they silently conceded that a fear of British people made him a far safer boss than most.

"So, we're raiding U.A.'s summer camp to abduct one of the fledgling heroes into our organization?" Compress asked. "Have we laid the groundwork for such an alliance?"

"He'll agree. Just watch! He's half a villain already. Any more questions?"

"Yeah. Where do you get this tea? It's amazing!"

Shigaraki's blood froze. He turned around and saw a familiar top hat, dusty coat, and tea set. Twice sipped his through his mask and said, "It's delicious! I hate it!"

Himiko took her mug and asked, "Can I get some blood in this?"

Izuku rolled his eyes. "British people, I swear." He drew a scalpel out of his top hat, sliced his wrist open, and filled Himiko's cup to the brim. As she squealed and happily drank it down, Izuku slapped a band-aid over the cut, instantly stopping the bleeding.

Shigaraki raised a tremulous finger and stuttered, "He- he- he-"

"He's the one we're after?" Spinner asked. "That kid who beat the snot out of Endeavor's son and walked right off the stage? Stain would approve. He's clearly not in it for money or fame."

Magne nodded. "And he didn't assume my gender. A pleasant change from others in this industry."

"But- but he- he always-"

Izuku held out his hands. Handcuffs slipped out of his sleeves and clasped around his wrists. "Oh no. Looks like I was caught," he deadpanned. "I guess All for One will steal my Quirk."

Shigaraki flinched. Every fiber of his body screamed that he should boot Izuku out the door immediately. Before he could say anything more, a black mist swallowed Izuku up.

Still sipping tea, Compress said, "I'm glad we're getting a young man of such caliber on the team."

"He's awesome! No, he sucks!"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Shigaraki scratched his neck raw, until he threw the hand covering his face onto the floor and screamed, "That's it! We're all disbanded!"

He never noticed the hand disappear into a spontaneous hole in the ground.

All for One smiled at his newest acquisition. For weeks, he had planned out how he would corner the magnificent Quirk that pulled copies out of thin air and defied the rules of physics. And here it was, handed to him on a silver platter.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew the child had a trap planned for him. Luckily, he already had countermeasures in place. The entire floor was a thin grate that disappeared into a deep pit. No serendipitous puddles of tea would save him this time. Every scrap of clothing was removed, save the top hat wedged stubbornly on his head and boxers preserving his modesty, and not for a lack of trying. Failing to get those articles off, he instead glued them in place, preventing anything from falling out. As an extra precaution, all his mugs and tea accessories were temporarily warped in an underground bunker miles away. Hanging by his wrists and ankles from thick iron chains, Izuku had no escape.

"Any last words?" he asked.

"Zyzzyva, make, and honor."

"Huh?"

"The dictionary, the final Beatles song, and the Declaration of Independence. You wanted last words, right?"

With a low, angry growl, All for One clamped his fingers around Izuku's throat. He pulled, and found nothing to pull out.

Izuku held up his foot and wriggled his toes. "Extra joint."

All for One backed away. "But - the portal physics, the copied Quirks! That can't be anything else!"

"Nonsense! There's nothing you can't accomplish without a firm disrespect for the word impossible, a spiffing top hat, and just a dash of whimsy."

A hand fell out of his hat. Izuku held it up and said, "Not quite proper headwear, but it'll do."

When he put it on, the remaining chains holding him fell to dust. All for One tried to run, but he had dismissed his warper as a precaution. Turning to fight, All for One threw every Quirk he had at him. Lasers, fire, pressurized water, rocks and knives and explosions. Izuku's outstretched hand decayed everything.

One for All backed until he hit a wall. Izuku's hand grazed his arm, and the Decay worked its way towards his shoulder. A single slice took his whole arm off, and his new regeneration Quirk regrew it instantly.

Before he had a chance to gloat, Izuku's hand trailed along his chest. He hacked and slashed, but every time he rid himself of the decay, two more spots turned to dust. Soon, only his head remained, staring in fear at the child that had slain him with a single touch.

Izuku plucked the helmet off the ground and dusted it off. He looked it over, as if debating whether or not to put it on, then said, "This would make a nice souvenir for All Might. Now, which summer did everyone camp in?"