A/N I am so sorry for leaving you with that mini cliff hanger. That wasn't my intention, my wi-fi wasn't working so I couldn't upload this chapter like the previous one. Oh and thank you for the reviews you guys are understanding.

One review in particular had me laughing my head off. Here is a part of the comment

dm1990:This is your story you can do whatever you want with it. If they dont like well they can go fuck a duck, simple as that. - interesting choice of words ;)

I was reading this while I sat with my mother in the kitchen she was busy making dinner and I was typing away on my laptop and I burst into a fit of laughter. She thought I was going mental or something.

BIG THANK YOU to the people who have kept with me it chapter.

Oh and another quick note, the outfit Teddy is wearing you can find on my profile, the link to it is available from there. I will probably put up more for later chapters for the characters.

So I guess I better get on with it so. ENJOY Oh and I suggest listening to two songs after you read this chapter.

The Ana/Christian Playlist as I like to call it.

Ross Copperman - Holding On And Letting Go

Lawson – When She Was Mine.

Holding On & Letting Go

"Ana" she couldn't speak, the way he breathed her name and they way he looked after all this time still made her weak at the knees. The tension was obvious in the room so after a few quick 'hellos' Christian and Ana were left to talk, well before Kate managed to slip back in and threaten Christian "Grey, I'm warning you she crys or gets upset and you will get a fully loaded version of the other day. I mean it. Your cards are marked!" before she stomped out of the room leaving Ana to her defences. She looked everywhere around the room but at him, try keep it together Ana you were doing so well, don't give in yet

She eventually focused her gaze to her sleeping infant just a mere four feet away. Christian was watching her closely and followed the gaze to the infant carrier in the middle of the room. "That's my son" it was more of a statement than a question to which she nodded. She couldn't speak at all Nice one Ana, lash out at him in an email and become a mute face to face. Thumbs up girl Ana was having an inner battle with herself, she snapped out of it when Christian reached out to gently stroke her face "Ana" he smiled at her, that smile that will be the death of her.

"Christian don't" she whispered and stepped away his face falling from disappointment but he stood back, his hands in his suit pants pockets before moving to the carrier. The silence in the room was deadly, you could have heard a pin drop. He leaned over his son taking in his features, he agreed that he was his double but he was hoping he would be awake. Elliot had told him about his eyes, the very same as his own. He removed one hand from his pocket having an inner struggle to reach out and touch the baby in fear he would wake and cry. He was gently he barely glided his finger across his son's face smiling at how small he really was. "Christian do you want to hold him?" His head snapped up as Ana spoke

"He wont cry if I do?" Ana watched how nervous Christian was at the thought of holding his own son. She wanted this, to see him and their son together. She dreamed of it for a whole nine months.

"He wont, anyway he's due a feed soon" She went to his side barely keeping it together, he was intoxicating. She scooped her son up in her arms and he stirred slightly but fell back asleep. Christian back away a few feet almost frightened at the thought of holding someone so small and so fragile. "Christian?" she was confused

"I don't want to hurt him" his eyes wide as if he was a deer in headlights. "He's so small" he said as he sat down running his hands through his hair.

"Christian you wont hurt him. I know he's small but he grows like everyone else" she smiled slightly "He wont stay this size forever" she moved towards him. The fear was evident on his face "Christian I need you to hold him so I can fix him a bottle, I can't do both" Christian eventually gave in as Ana showed him how to hold him in his arms, he was sitting back on the sofa holding Teddy carefully. Ana was searching the diaper bag for a bottle and a bib for Teddy, she took a few deep breaths to calm down, luckily Christian was occupied focusing on every movement Teddy gave to notice how nervous Ana was in his presence.

"He has got my eyes" Christian blurted out as Ana moved to his side "Elliot told me but I didn't think he was telling the truth" he moved over to allow Ana to sit beside him. She placed the bottle near Teddy's mouth and he bag hungrily sucking away, she brushed Christian's hand as she placed the bottle into his and it was like a bolt of electricity passed through the two of them, their eyes met for a moment when Ana stood up and moved across the room to sit down away from him. She couldn't help but watch as Christian whispered to their son, she could barely hear what he wa saying but Teddy kept his focus on his father like he would do with her, holding on to every word he spoke. "He's finished his bottle" Ana jumped but moved back to Christian's side to show him how to burp Teddy. He wouldn't tap his back like Ana had showed him, he was terrified of hurting him so Ana took over. "You're really great with him" Christian said as Ana proceeded to change his diaper "Ana will you please come home to me?" he begged like a small child. Luckily her back was to him, she closed her eyes and sighed "Christian we have had this conversation multiple times, please don't do this again" she placed a sleeping Teddy back into the carrier. She turned back to Christian who was now on his feet moving towards her.

"Ana I really want you to come home" he took her hands and of course she let him, she missed his touch even if it was just him holding her hands. "The nightmares, they got worse since you left. You're not there sleeping next to me every night so they wont go away" Christian met her eyes and she was on the verge of allowing her self to dive into his arms but she didn't she stood there. "Please come home Ana, you and Teddy"

"Christian please I ca-" she was cut off as he began to cry Nice one Ana first time you see him in months and he is the one crying when your face to face. He's broken enough as it is.

"Ana please, I need you, I want you to come home. I'm sorry I couldn't see how scared you were, I was only thinking of myself, I was selfish. You have to try understand I was afraid of how I'd be as a fathe-"

"Christian you will be a great father but please I am begging you don't do this, I have been non stop crying all week since you decided to want to be apart of this, half of me is jumping for joy and the other half still can't yet forgive you. I really can't do this now" her tears were flowing non stop and Christian took the opportunity to pull her into his arms, she couldn't hold back now she sobbed harder than ever into his chest as he rubbed her back affectionately. She slipped her arms around his waist with ease as he held her there as she cried. "Oh Ana I really am sorry" she looked up at his tear streaked face, it was the same as her own. "I missed you in my arms, holding you" he confessed as she just listened. She just wanted to be held by him. She blocked out everything else but the feel of him holding her safely in his arms.

"Christian" she looked up at him. She was over thinking her situation and her thoughts hit her hard "No I can't do this" she shrugged him off and moved out of his arms. He was crying again and she couldn't handle it. Kate and Elliot were making their way back to the living room when they seen Christian break down in tears. Ana picked up Teddy and grabbed his diaper bag and walked as calmly as she could to Kate still sniffling from moments before. "Kate I can't I need to go" Kate immediately grabbed her car keys as Carrick, Mia and Grace came back to find their son and daughter in law in a state. Elliot wasn't sticking up for Christian but he moved to his side putting an arm around him for comfort when he buried his head in his older brothers chest sobbing uncontrollably "I just want her to come home" Ana heard him. Elliot had never seen his brother so upset ever since he was little and even then Elliot had been sent out of the room if he was. His parents usually took control of the situation.

Grace was in shock she hadn't seen Christian so upset in years, she looked over to Ana who mouthed 'I'm sorry' as Kate took her home. She placed Teddy in the backseat in his carrier securing it in place before jumping upfront with her best friend. "Oh Ana what happened?" she watched as Ana wiped the fresh tears from her eyes as they began to fall

"Kate I can't.. he just.. he said...Christian" she burst into tears. Kate reached out to hold her hand as she drove her home. She was in such a state Kate was fuming but she couldn't help but feel sorry for Christian, she heard what he said about her wanting to come home. Elliot was back at his parents home trying to calm him down but Kate was worried about both of them. She never knew Ana could be so stubborn but she had reason to be. She looked over to her friend who had cried her eyes out and was now sleeping. She looked exhausted and Kate couldn't begin to imagine what she was feeling right now especially with a baby involved.

"Ana, hey were here" she gently shook her best friend who was in a daze after just waking up. "I'm going to call Elliot as soon as we get inside okay?" Ana just nodded as she took Teddy inside as Kate took the diaper bag and carrier for her. She placed Teddy in his crib in her room as she came back out to find Kate making her a cup of tea.

"Here" she smiled handing her a cup of hot tea as they both sank into the sofa "Ana I have to call Elliot" she spoke to Ana as she sipped her tea

"Could you stay a while, I need to sleep and I need someone to watch Teddy" she confessed

"I'm not going anywhere Ana, I'm calling Elliot to let him know I will be home late that's all" she hugged her friend as she left to go make a call, she waited until the bedroom door was closed before slipping outside into the hall of the apartment as she dialled Elliot's number, he picked up on the first ring "Kate, how is everything on your end? Christian wont stop crying I haven't seen him like this since he was about 4 years old Kate. What's going on with them? Ana was crying too I saw that"

"Elliot she's in a bad state, she cried the whole way home. As for Christian I don't know what to say, I would usually get pissed at him for making her cry but I can't. I think we need to stay out of this Elliot, they might be able to work it out alone or maybe if we just point them in the right direction"

"Do you think Ana would ever go back to him?"

"Honestly Elliot, I have never seen her this hooked on a guy especially when it's her husband, she wants him back and I know she does but shes being stubborn and of course little Teddy is involved now so it's going to be harder for her not to stay away. I wish they would just make up and get back together. I know Christian is serious about her now and after what I seen today I think I need to have a talk with him about Ana, I know her better than anyone"

"I hope your right Kate" he sighed into the phone "I really hope your right. So when are you coming home?"

"Later tonight, Ana just had a cup of tea and went to bed. She needs the sleep she's exhausted Elliot. I'll call you later when I am on my way"

"Okay I'll see you later, I love you"

"I love you too" she said as she hung up the phone and re entered the apartment.

She could hear the sniffles Ana made every so often, she would have went in but she thought it was probably best to leave her be for a while. Ana was glad she did, she lay in the bed clutching one of Christian's old t-shirts she found when she was going through her wardrobe the other day, it still had his scent on it. She breathed it in as she held it close. She looked to her beside dresser as a picture of them both at her graduation and then her wedding was visible to the eye. She picked up the wedding photo, she stared at it for at least 15 minutes before she lay back on the bed with both the photo and the t-shirt in hand, holding onto them for dear life as she closed her eyes.